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♥ Originally posted back in January 2017. ♥
So we’re six days into 2017 and Nora’s prediction didn’t quite bear fruit – we’re still here, yay!! It’s a shame that within hours of the new year we were hit with how mad and sad the world can be with the nightclub shootings in Turkey, and so it continues. The world keeps turning and the beat goes on!
There are certain beats that will always be playing in life. I like to imagine it as our personal human playlist that we’re instilled with. There’s every type of beat going that pertains to making you a part of society; social, ethical, compassion, love, hate etc – it’s down to you how you turn on, tune in, drop out and tun’ up! We control the levels and more time we need to start hollering our own tune than remixing someone else’s.
I people watch but I don’t watch people and yes, there is a big difference! I love a bit of people watching – we’re all human (I think!) but boy do we come in a wide range and some folk, from their outside appearance alone, are fascinating creatures.
Obviously you can’t judge a book by its cover, but it does make you wonder sometimes. I don’t spend my whole life doing it but when I get the time to do so (like sitting in a doctors surgery for over an hour!), it’s hard not to take in those around you. That is the difference between the two: people watching is taking things in; watching people is taking things on.
I’ve never been one to watch people. It’s too much like hard work. I’m not interested in keeping up with the Joneses or the Karcrashians thank you all the same. Better yourself and your life for you. Admire and aspire, but when it’s all about impressing or outdoing the neighbours is it really worth all the energy?
There’s no shame in living within your means until you can afford to step up your game. No food in your fridge, in credit up to your eyeballs and can’t sleep at night but you’re rocking the latest designers and top of the range telly so you can keep up appearances. For who? Why does the opinion of others matter to the point of you making yourself miserable on the inside so that they can believe you’re something else on the outside?
People may not understand the way you choose to live your life or look down on you because it’s not how they believe you should live, but if it works for you and you’re not hurting anybody – especially yourself – then what the fuck has it got to do with anyone else?
I’ve had people question me in the past on how my relationship works and it works by focusing and watching us and not others, it’s as simple as that. Life is easier when you keep it real, set your levels and dance to your own beat. More folk should try it!
R.I.P Turkey 39, Jill Saward and all those who have passed away this week.
Don’t Watch – Do You!, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
A 20/20 Vision
Hello again! I wasn’t intending on leaving it months before I wrote another blog, but the reality is I’ve kinda been in a funk. To be fair to myself, there have been a few legit reasons as to why I would be.
I won’t bore you with the details of my funky disposition right now. Let’s just say that I’m working on it! The year so far has really been a humdinger. Like, seriously, who could have predicted the madness?*
The 20/20 vision I had is nothing in comparison to the reality, but it has enabled me to see certain people’s true colours with crystal clarity. In my last Downtime blog I wrote about being tired. That’s not quite cutting it anymore. I’m fully over certain attitudes and having to break things down time and again. We’ve now reached Black History Month and it’s added more fuel to those already raging flames of hate.
It’s actually not hard to imagine that people would get so irate over trying to eradicate racism and giving us a fair chance. I guess it boils down to what you choose to see and what makes you feel un/comfortable. I’ve tried to highlight my feelings for you below. I hope you enjoy it, but most of all I hope you understand it.🖤
A little while back I wrote about being tired
But that description has long since expired
Tired no longer fits the bill
Let me try to explain if you will
To those taking issue with the words Black Lives Matter
And the “It’s all political!” nonsense and chatter
Having an issue with taking the knee
Or a powerful dance performed by Diversity
Disgust at adverts with Black families
Or in general, too many Black faces on their tv’s
Or a necklace with the initials B.L.M,
Causing outrage a little hard to comprehend,
Folk can find time to moan and complain
As if we’re all out here just playing some game
They’ll tell us we don’t deserve sympathy
Because crimes and statistics is all they can see
Allow me to give you a little clarity
If politics is all that you choose to see
There may be things you don’t like about the organisation
I hear you and understand your frustration
But the focus should be on Black Lives Matter – the movement
And how we’re constantly striving for improvement
There are way too many unnecessary failures
Too many George Floyds, Sarah Reeds and Breonna Taylor’s
Too many concerned over the placement of a statue
With negative statements to throw at you
Why should I waste my time trying to explain
When you clearly don’t want to register our pain
If you’re not interested that’s all good with me
I’m not about begging, and I’ll leave you be
I really have no time for all of those bigots
The likes of Jim Davidson and Laurence Fox
Who, granted, are entitled to their opinions and views
But don’t have a clue what’s it’s like to walk in our shoes
Every colour and creed commit crimes on the street
But if it’s a Black face they don’t miss a beat
In pointing the finger and calling us out
But if it’s a White face there’s always room for doubt
And heaven forbid we speak up or speak out
They’ll seriously question what we’re talking about
It honestly is a real travesty
That a lot of the naysayers really can’t see
When they say we should be grateful
And it’s all ok
Because we’re less racist here in the U.K
There’s a huge piece of the picture that you miss
And really and truly, it’s more than a diss
Addressing the ‘All Lives Matter’ crew
And the ‘Blue Lives Matter’ too
For the latter here’s somewhere to begin
They can take off their uniform
We can’t take off our skin
As for all lives mattering, that goes without saying
But the comparison needs to take some weighing
The past few months have given much insight
Between those who truly understand our plight
And those who’ve had enough, and are over it
And would love nothing more than for us to quit
Wondering how much longer we intend to go on
Whinging, whining and singing the same old song?
But in the midst of all of the chanting and crying
And every which way my people keep trying
Black people are dying at an alarming rate
At the hands of people fuelled by hate
Happy to deny us the right to live
All whilst sitting comfortably in their privilege
Band us together and label us BAME
With little recognition that we’re not all the same
No sympathy for Grenfell or the Windrush generation
No time for unity or the rise of one nation
We can all be different but still live as one
It’s not impossible; it can be done
I have no idea what the future will be
But I’ll try not to give up hope, that one day they’ll see
So take in the words I’ve written above
The lack of understanding, empathy and love
Now can you see why I’m way past tired?
Exhausted’s the word that is now required
But to my brothas and sistas
Don’t let it get you down
Put your head up and hold on to your crown
Whenever it seems there’s no ending in sight
As Bob Marley said, don’t give up the fight!
R.I.P Hazel Bruce and to all those who have passed away recently
*Apparently someone did. They could have given us a better heads up!😅
I put off writing about the current events happening in the world in regards to the murder of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter movement for a reason. It was because I wanted to repost the previous R.I.P’d Off blogs to show and prove that this isn’t a new phenomenon and some of us have been shouting about it for years.
Yesterday I changed my mind, and it was in part thanks to a White ‘friend’. It all started with a post on Facebook. She was up in arms and disgusted at the London mayors proposal to possibly remove the statues of figureheads around the town with connections to profiteering from slavery.
She made her feelings quite clear. It’s just disgusting, history is history and it makes her so pissed. The majority of her friends agreed with her and commented about how we (Black people) wanted to try and rewrite history or erase it. They also spoke about the holocaust and how the Jews don’t carry on and make such a fuss so what’s our problem?
It’s funny how quickly and easy it is to be dismissed and perceived as the ‘angry Black woman’ when all you’ve done is politely speak your mind.
This is what I wrote back in response:
No one is asking to forget or rewrite history. They are asking you to acknowledge that this ‘great’ country was made great off of the backs of slaves. If it’s history and we should forget about it why are you getting all up in your feelings by having them removed? Shouldn’t you be doing the same? And comparing it to the holocaust is a joke. You acknowledge the holocaust and reparations were given for their treatment. We’re told, yeah it happened and what? Here’s a reminder on the daily! Whether they’re in public or in a museum where they belong it doesn’t change what happened in the past – but you could at least acknowledge the impact they may have on us.
My ‘friend’ saw fit to bypass and ignore my response, yet continued to interact and like other posts of those who shared her sentiment. As you can see I didn’t cuss, I just tried to politely put my point across but obviously that was too much. I scrolled back on her page and saw that this was the first mention she’d made of anything that had gone on previously in regards to this subject.
No disgust at the murder of George Floyd or support or empathy for her black friends – just anger over statues that I very much doubt she even knew existed before they were highlighted in the press, but such is life! I left it at that and moved on.
So then we come to Saturday, and the patriotic counter-protesters (🙄) who were supposedly protecting these precious statues in London by getting bladdered, fighting police, fighting each other, pissing on monuments, terrorising picnickers and generally being a bunch of racist, small minded dicks.
Funnily enough she had nothing to say about them. Crickets all round. But she did see fit to post about a Black pedophile who caused tremendous hurt and damage to a little girl. She was rightly disgusted and wanted him named and shamed.
Now, I understand her disgust fully and personally I hope he rots in whatever prison he’s in, but that post was over a year old and considering the current climate we’re in, I figured there were more important issues we should be focusing on today than to rile people up over something abhorrent that had already been dealt with.
So again I responded:
You’re right, he is a totally disgusting specimen and deserves all that he gets and then some. But I’ve gotta ask why you’re sharing something over a year old and you’ve got nothing to say about the mob that went out on Saturday to “protect” the statues you care so much about? Oh, my bad, is that classed as history too now it’s Tuesday and to be forgotten? Bye Felicia!🖐🏾
I decided that I couldn’t be arsed and unfriended her. She’d already shown me all I needed to see. But I was informed she responded back by saying she has nothing to say because she’s fucking sick to the back teeth of it all, Black, White, yellow, she doesn’t care. She just wishes everyone would get on. Seriously I need to calm down and she’s all for peace.
I need to calm down. Hmmm….
If you check it, it was she who wrote the angry post about statues and agreed with all of her angry little friends. I don’t recall her telling any of them to calm down and we should all get on. Not once did I use a cuss word or angry faced emoji, yet she did and so did her angry friends.
Yet I should calm down.
Black, White, yellow – she doesn’t care, but diss a concrete statue and it’s on! She’s got time to care about that!
She then decided to private message a family member – not me, and spin those go to lines of certain white folk of growing up with Black people and having mixed race family.
Can someone please explain to me just what the fuck that’s suppose to prove?
She also added that all this bitterness is getting no one anywhere. Which bitterness would that be? Me politely calling her out or the bitterness spewed out by herself and her angry little friends over statues? #AnswersOnAPostcard
It’s funny how quickly and easy it is to be dismissed and perceived as ‘the angry Black woman’ when all you’ve done is politely speak your mind. She’s not the first one to describe me in such a way, and as I really don’t give a fuck I’m sure she won’t be the last either.
It’s all good for her to be sick to the back teeth of it, but she was over it after 3 weeks. Try a lifetime then come at me! See how sick, tired, fed up, frustrated, confused, upset, disappointed, downhearted and pissed she feels then. And that’s just a few emotions at the tip of the iceberg.
Whilst her fellow patriots were busy ‘protecting’ statues and not being a menace to society in the slightest, I was busy at a peaceful protest on the same day in a local park. It was a beautiful day with no trouble and good vibes. Everyone came together for a common cause and it was truly a sight to see. I was asked to give a speech and admit to feeling flattered that they would ask but also nervous. I’m really not a limelight girl or public speaker, but I felt the need to come out of my comfort zone and show my support.
For the ‘friend’ who chose to ignore our plight and the rest of my readers I’ll end with the speech I gave. I hope it gives a little more understanding and incite into why we feel the way we do.
In life there comes a time when you look at a certain situation and come to the conclusion that enough is enough. I’d reached my limit a good while ago, but the horrific, public murder of George Floyd became the straw that broke the camels back for a lot more of us.
His murder may have been the catalyst for these protests and current events, but it is by no means the only reason why we find ourselves taking to the streets. For centuries the tale has been the same. Depending on how far back you go, HIStory will tell you of how great a country is, but deny or try to sweep under the carpet the reality of how that greatness came to be – and racism is key!
We have been – and for a lot of people will always be seen as the dregs of society. To be used, abused and disposed of accordingly. Racism runs deep within the police force and governments, home and away, and the reality is they were not created to benefit the likes of us. Only now are we slowly beginning to see change, but even still, the level of justice that is mete out to White people is highly disproportionate to those of colour.
They will throw statistics at us to prove our plight is a myth and we literally doth protest too much, but actions will always speak louder than words or figures on a page. It’s funny how people are incensed and raging over the removal of statues, but not outraged at the brutal loss of life they represent. That in itself speaks volumes. It seems like no matter what we do, or how we do it, someone will take issue with us telling the world that our lives matter and we deserve to be treated with respect.
You don’t even have to go way back to 1775 to highlight things. For example, look at how they handled the murders of Steven Lawrence and Mark Duggan. In 2015 the last reparations to slave owners was paid out. In 2015! It’s nearly 3 years to the day that the Grenfell fire broke out, with very little progress made in the enquiry and the Windrush scandal is still ongoing. I could happily stand here all day and give you example after example but what we really need is change. The system has been proven to be broken and corrupt from the core and desperately needs to be addressed and fixed, but that is not something we can do alone.
This is not a Black and White issue, it’s a humanitarian one. There are plenty that hate us but also an equal measure that have shown love and support from the start and from the heart. I know plenty who actually get it and understand that our cry isn’t about being selfish, it’s about being treated equally, respectfully and with dignity.
They are aware that White privilege is very real and they benefit from it on a daily basis without having to try. They understand that the privilege is the ease to walk and talk freely without fear of repercussions based purely on the colour of their skin. But to those who say that they are not racist or don’t see colour it has to be said that that is not enough. For real change to be made you need to be anti racism and acknowledge that yes, we are different shades, but it doesn’t make us lesser people.
I want you to see my melanin and embrace it, not deny it exists.
I’ll never forget my first racist encounter, and it was in this very town not far from here, by a blonde haired, blue eyed boy who spat at me and called me a nigger whilst I was simply minding my own business walking down the back of the high street. I’d love to say that that was my one and only experience but it hasn’t been. To those who have been lucky enough to not experience any racism so far in their lives, I’m happy for you, but please don’t dismiss those that have as talking nonsense. Who feels it knows it.
So, where do we go from here? Well, you’re never too old to learn, and it’s never too late for change. Racism isn’t genetic. To the White people who want to make a difference start by teaching your children to love not hate and educate yourselves on the real history of how your countries became so ‘great’.
Try to empathise and put yourselves in our shoes before you judge us.
To my fellow brethren, especially those who live in Slough, I say this; we need to focus on us and feel no way about it, and that’s not being divisive, it’s about coming together as one and celebrating us. Throughout the years I have seen nearly every other ethnic minority pull together and support their own without any issue. It’s more than time for us to do the same. It can be achieved we just need trust in each other, faith and to believe.
You can’t have a community without unity, and to the ladies that organised this protest today, my husband Chris Biggs, Rebecca Richardson, Tina Brooks, Tanya and Claudine Brooks-Carty, Anita Herbert and those who have already started in paving the way I thank you.
To the parents out there I’ll end with this, we need to teach our children that these postcode wars and fighting each other will get us nowhere and is bullshit! We will always be stronger together!
R.I.P George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Rayshard Brooks and all those who have lost their lives this week.
“Mostly, I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world every day…”
John Coffey ~ The Green Mile
I’ve seen a few posts on social media asking what’s one thing that being in downtime (lockdown) has taught you. I responded to one and told the truth – nothing.
All it has done is highlight a lot of things I was very much aware of beforehand. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs I’ve been through enough in my lifetime to see things a little more clearly and appreciate and celebrate life. Ultimately I’m a lover not a hater. I love life and I can fully understand tolerance, patience and forgiveness – but only to a certain extent.
The past couple of weeks have been testing for me. Obviously with the world being the way it is now it’s a trying time for everyone, but so far I’ve been reasonably ok, so I’ve been trying to pinpoint exactly why it is that I’m feeling the way I am. I took into account the current climate and the fact that Mother Nature did her monthly rounds and I realised that my hormones were raging – but then I realised something else. It’s fatigue.
Like John Coffey said, I’m tired. T👏🏾I👏🏾R👏🏾E👏🏾D👏🏾
I’m not a fan of politics or religion and I’ll avoid both like the plague if I can. I know there are those who feel strongly about these subjects, and more power to them, but for me they are entities saturated in so much fuckery and corruption I have no interest in wasting my time trying to figure them out. Some may well see it as me being ignorant, but I have my reasons, and if anyone is interested I’ll gladly tell them what they are.
I don’t claim to be an expert. I just know what I know and feel how I feel. If you’ve read any of my R.I.P’d Off! blogs you’d already have a gist.
So when I awoke one morning and popped onto Facebook to see Bore-us Johnson’s face all up in my timeline and people inviting me to clap for that clown, I wrote a post to let them know what I thought about it. I made it clear they’d be no form of clapping or sympathy for him from me. For a start, wasn’t it he who publicly stood and ignored the warnings given and visited a hospital – A HOSPITAL – shaking hands with people? I stated that if any “friends” took offence at my post to delete me. I lost a couple but the way I see it they weren’t friends in the first place, as friends would enquire. We don’t necessarily have to be on the same page on all things to get along.
One such person responded to my post before deleting me. I had made a comment about Bore-us being just as bad as those who were blatantly ignoring protocol and was told I need a reality check. Me or you my “friend”? Bore-us is actually WORSE than those people as he is supposedly a leader and to set the example we follow. And now it transpires that he possibly ignored meetings and advice given about how to deal with Covid-19 weeks prior to the outbreak in the U.K.
And you would have me clap for this fucker? KMT!
I make no apologies about it. Some people are quick to forget things. I’m not…wait, let me take that back. It depends on what it is, and in this instance there was a lot to remember when it came to my issues with our grate leader.
It’s bad enough when the average Joe decides to give us his two pence worth on his thoughts about immigrants, but when derogatory remarks are made from someone who is supposed to be fair and impartial and running the *cuntry you live in, it makes it hard to ignore and easy for others of their ilk to think it’s acceptable behaviour.
Not only has he proved what he thinks about us, he and the Tories decided to show us too by underhandedly abandoning the Windrush generation and forcing them into poverty and ill health, then forcing them on a plane ‘back to where they came from’. They openly stood and applauded not giving NHS and other key workers a fair living wage, did the dirty on the victims of Grenfell and thought they were slicker than slick with Brexshit.
What better way to get rid of the rest of the pests by labelling them as low skilled and 10 a penny. We don’t need them if they can’t prove to be worth £25,000 or more. We’ve got this! This is England. We’ll pull together and show them what we’re made of…only there’s a problem with that…
It mainly lies in the fact that they are patriotic to a fault. The fault being that they forget that their *Grate Britain is so great because of the blood, sweat and tears of a lot of the minorities they despise, disadvantage and dismiss. If they were to really check facts and strip away all that was robbed from other countries to benefit them they wouldn’t have much to shout about. Not even over a cup of tea with 2 sugars.
Right now there is no shadow of doubt about the roles immigrants and ethic minorities play in helping the country to survive, but there are certain collectives who, no matter what kind of information you put before them, fail to see our worth. It couldn’t get more prominent now and it needs to be remembered.
Piss poor apologies mean nothing and as HIStory shows that’s all we’re ever given!
To top off my mood, a few days later I saw some footage that has been hard to swallow. China – ground zero for this whole madness that we and the world find ourselves dealing with – had supposedly eradicated Covid-19 in their cuntry until some recent cases that they are now saying is being spread by Black people…
Yep! You heard right.
Despite not testing positive for Coronavirus, they have been thrown out of their homes, beaten, abused and denied access to shops, restaurants and other amenities with little to no help from authorities. China are to blame for causing it, but let’s forget that and divert attention and look at these dirty Black people spreading it. It gets me so mad, but to be honest it doesn’t surprise me. It seems like it’s only a matter of time before we get to be the cause of every negative going.
It’s an age old tale. They love our climate and natural resources, some even love our culture but they don’t love us, and feel that we’re not worthy of having anything they consider to be of value. All the while we’re welcoming them into our countries and not focusing on the bigger picture. They don’t love us or want to integrate – they want to take over. And they’re doing it. How many Chinese shops and businesses in Africa and the Caribbean have Black people working in them? How much land do they own? I’ll wait!
As “all about the love and not hate” that I am, and as tolerant, patient and understanding as I try to be, I have to confess that it’s running low – way low! I’m battling my negative emotions HARD! I have always tried to be kind hearted and accepting but it’s getting harder by the day. My fear is I’ll end up being as cold hearted as the ones causing us pain but I’m truly sick and tired of people being ugly to each other and especially my people. We’ve been used and abused for centuries and enough is enough.
2020 and downtime has shown us that we can do things differently and adapt to change – well the majority of us anyway. Now is the time for a lot of us to wake up and really look at what’s going on and work on a solution to the problems we face. My anger isn’t just at those taking the ‘berties but our own people who are allowing it to happen. The corrupt governments and money hungry leaders thinking that they’re good because they’ve been given backhanders. What happens when you’re out of power and the money runs dry???
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but most things worth fighting for aren’t.
Thankfully, right now my aromatherapy diffuser, essential oils and herbs have been working its magic and I won’t be out on the streets causing a revolution…not yet anyway!
And breathe!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives.
Well done Captain Tom Moore.
*no misspelling
Well!! 2020 has certainly come in all guns blazing! I’m not one for New Years resolutions, but I did have an idea as to how I’d like it to be…needless to say it looked nothing like this!
From the get go there have been occurrences all around the world of biblical proportions. Not that I’m religious, but the majority of us have heard about what’s to come in the end of days according to the book of Revelation, and we’re coming pretty close to its description. Fires, floods, hailstones the size of grapefruits, a plague of locusts, and now to top it off we have a pandemic – and it’s only March.
The majority of signs are there and honestly, the way things are going, if come April 1st someone were to tell me the four horsemen of the apocalypse were parading through Slough high street I’d probably think hard before dismissing it – especially as they’d probably feel right at home there.
There are a lot of conspiracy theories as to how and why the coronavirus has arrived. Whether it be bat eating Chinese, 5G or Bill Gates ‘great corrector’ thesis; the effects have been felt worldwide. No matter who you are it will effect you in some way, shape or form. The most notably universal one being lockdown!
I’d like to say I’ve been amazed at the way some people have handled things but that’d be a lie. The levels of greed and selfishness have been astounding, from the stockpilers making it hard for our elderly and most vulnerable to get the simple basics, to the multi billionaires who don’t want to give a tiny fraction of their money to help the ‘little people’ that made it possible for them to accumulate their huge wealth.
As frustrating and annoying as this lockdown may be, we’ve all been given reflection time and should try to appreciate it. For those of you who think it’s a pointless exercise you can at least take comfort in the fact that as well as helping others stay safe, you’re helping Mother Nature out too. Our planet has been bawling out for the longest while and now she gets a chance to breathe a little more freely.
I think we can all agree that there’s no doubt as to who the real superheroes have been. Each and every frontline, key worker who has done their utmost to keep the world ticking over and keep us alive. I’ve seen the most wonderful acts of kindness in these troubled times and online communities offering every kind of support and advice. Naturally there are those who can’t help themselves and take advantage. In my opinion these people are worse than the virus we’re dealing with. To try and make a profit out of peoples hard times and misery is abhorrent.
I don’t care how much I like dumplings, I will not pay £3.99 for a 500g bag of plain flour! You’d best believe every shop I’ve seen taking the ‘berties will never get another penny of my money and get reported to trading standards. I definitely won’t be Ceeing U Next Tuesday, Sorry!
Also in that category are the likes of Bore-us Johnson, Priti Pathetic and all of those conservatives who now want to show love to the ‘low skilled’ workers. It’s ironic that the same Windrush generation who Priti gave a half arsed apology to not so long ago, and they were quick to deny their rights and fling out of Grate Britain on the sly, were some who were the backbone of your magnificent NHS.
For all his talk of others making a fuss and wearing gloves, Bore-us has now supposedly got the virus himself! Good for his backside! Who don’t hear will feel as they say. I have little sympathy and if I pray for anything it’s that he sees some form of sense now in how he treats others on every level.
I’d remind you that whilst they were all stood on their doorsteps on Thursday night giving a worthy clap for all of their beloved NHS staff, it wasn’t that long ago they were clapping at the fact that they were not going to give those same, low skilled workers a fair wage whilst toying with the very foundation of the service.
For those who couldn’t see it before, it’s as clear as fucking day now! They’ve more than proved their worth. No one is denying they had and still have their issues, but it cannot be disputed that they are a valued and much needed service that should be protected and funded to make life easier for those that put the effort in 24/7 and were very much under appreciated before this pandemic.
They can pull countless millions out of their ass now – where was it before? To every person who, like myself stood and clapped and cheered and whooped, I hope you remember the feeling you had and carry it with you when this is all over and demand that the government do what is right by them. It benefits us all in the long run. At some point in your life you or one of your loved ones will need them. It’s something we should all be invested in trying to better.
In the meantime I’m gonna try and better myself and make the most of this downtime. Somehow it’s easier on my soul to call it that than lockdown! I started loc’ing my hair again 3 weeks ago today and it’s at that Coolio stage so I’m grateful to be out of sight for a while!
I’m also trying to work on my body. Like most I’m having trouble socially distancing myself from the whole damn kitchen not just the fridge, but I’m determined not to be rolling out the gaff in a few weeks time. My saviour has to be music. Netflix and books are all good but no matter what I’m going through or how I’m feeling music always has an answer.
These are serious times folks, but a few simple steps can make a difference for all. I don’t need to tell you what needs to be done – it actually couldn’t get any easier but people are dumb and make life harder than it has to be. Don’t be that dick I beg you please!
Try to breathe life in, under a mask if you have to, but just try and find a bit of peace. It’s not like you don’t have the time. Technology allows us the luxury of being able to connect with those who you can’t see on the regular anymore and reconnect with those who you haven’t for a while. Now is the ideal time for so many things. Don’t waste it.
I truly hope we learn from this and it’s not a forgotten blur once we’re (hopefully) back to normality. Big love and positive vibes heading your way.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives and those currently fighting this virus. Wishing you all a speedy recovery.
Sending love and best wishes Linda. Hope you’re on the mend soon.
Happy 3rd Earthday/Birthday Tula. Can’t wait to see you and give you a squeeze!😘
Well! What a shitty end to the year and decade! And what a decade it’s been! I was hoping I’d have me a Bobby Ewing* moment and wake up in the shower to realise it was all a dream!
At the start I thought I’d realised the importance of how precious time was by leaving a job that was killing my soul; but it was nothing in comparison to the real eye opener half way through.
I’ve observed how some people judge and treat others without looking at their movements and realising they are the same, if not worse. I’ve lost real ones and real fake ones. I’ve fought cancer, fought family and fought for family. I’ve seen dementia (and others) rob my mum. I’ve lost my crowning glory and gained a disability. I’ve felt alone, been disowned, depressed, downhearted and cried me a fucking river – but I’m still here!
I’m calling it my Detox Decade! I had a major build up of toxicity which I’m almost done filtering out, and it’s left me heading into 2020 with 20/20 vision on certain aspects trust me!
I’ve had more than my fill of negative attitudes and bad energies. #MekItStayFarAway
Throughout all of the bullshit and the madness I’ve had my constants. The ones that show and prove and who have helped me through it all. Understanding that although I may have seemed alright on the outside, I really was a mess, and they did all they could to help me out.
Thank you for showing me what genuine friendship and love is all about. Y’all know who you are but I have to shout out the main one. The one who has seen me at my absolute worst and still loved me unconditionally. The one who took me from Miss to Mrs! My husband, Mr Biggs. Big love, respect and thanks going out to you from the bottom of my heart.🖤
The same for all of you who have supported me in every aspect and those of you who take the time out to read my ramblings! It honestly means a lot. I’ve taken a little break to recharge the batteries but there will be PLENTY more Tales Of The Dales and more to come in 2020. Stay tuned! #SoonCome
In the meantime, feel free to reread some of my earlier blogs and like, comment and share if the mood takes you.
Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it and I’m truly wishing you all the best that 2020 has to offer and beyond.
R.I.P to my little cuz Janel Merchant and all of those who have passed away recently. Gone but by no means forgotten.
*Google him😂
I know a lot of you are wondering where Tales Of The Dales has disappeared to. Don’t worry, I haven’t been silenced and I’m very much alive! There’s only one way I’ll be stopped and that’s via a court order, so until that happens – keep watching this space. They will return!
The fact of the matter is I’ve had some bad news recently, and as much as I enjoy writing TOTD, despite them being infused with humour, the majority of the memories are sad and negative ones about people who now mean very little to me.
Although it’s in the past, I don’t have the headspace to be thinking about them right now. Alongside an uncle passing away and the family drama that incurred, a cousin of mine is gravely ill and my focus has been on sending as much love and positive vibes I can muster her way.
When you go through the shit I have with my siblings it makes you question the word family and what it entails. I admit to at times feeling cynical about it, but certain members reminded me that the actions of a few shouldn’t tarnish the true meaning.
A lot of people knock Facebook and other social media platforms for creating issues and drama. That’s not the case. It’s down to how you choose to use it. For me, amongst other things, it’s been a great way to communicate with my people all over the world, and a few years ago I set up a messenger group page.
It was good to be able to fill them in on what was going on, and also to vent to people who knew me and had prior knowledge of how certain family members stood and the complexity of the situation.
It’s by far easier to sit on the fence for fear of offending or causing upset, but the reality is people can be both good and bad. If certain folk only want to highlight the good and can’t handle being called out on the bad that’s not for me to feel a way about, no matter how much they like to point fingers and shout about it, and I feel blessed and thankful to those in the group who fully understand that.
One such person is my cousin who is now fighting for her life. She is one of the most loveliest young women you could hope to meet, and helped me no end when I was getting married. She’s a character and a half and has a lovely bubbly personality. To think of her the way she is now honestly breaks my heart.
I can’t help but question the higher powers movements sometimes. Apparently everything happens for a reason and I’m hoping at some point some sense will be made of this. To be fair I questioned her (the higher power), when I was going through things with mum, but I now see it was (in the end) for the greater good. I’m hoping with all my might my cousin is not called up just yet. I know we’ve all got to go sometime…just not yet.
In life we’re given blessings and lessons. I’ve learnt to be grateful for them all – the good and bad. The lesson I got from my escapades with my family is to make sure you truly fully appreciate the ones who are there for you and show you they care for you.
All too often excuses are made as to why some don’t put the time and effort in. I’ve heard the most amount of bullshit reasons as to why some don’t bother coming to see my mum. The fact of the matter is as hard as it is for some to see her in a home, it’s not a fraction on how it must feel for her to live there, but it’s her home now so you should try your best to make it feel that way.
Presumption is a key factor. They presume because she has dementia it means she’s not worth the effort. What’s the point? She doesn’t remember shit anyway!…only she does, but you have to be around to see it. Because she has dementia you make more of an effort not less. But to each their own. You keep on doing you and I’ll keep on doing for those who need it.
Show your love and mean it. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the fucking walk! Tomorrow isn’t promised and life is way too short. If you haven’t said it lately, or ever, tell those you care about how much you love them. If you can’t muster up the words find ways to show it instead. It has the same effects and doesn’t have to be a grand gesture but can have a big impact and mean a lot, especially when it’s truly heartfelt.
R.I.P Uncle James and all those who have lost their lives recently.
Lil’ cuz, if prayers alone could see you through you’d have been out and about time ago. Keep fighting, and we’ll keep sending up and out the all the love we can.
It may not seem like it, but I honestly don’t like to moan and try my best not to – although sometimes it’s made damn hard. The majority of the time it doesn’t change anything so I do what I can, hold shit down and get on…mostly!
There are certain circumstances however, where people give me no option but to voice an opinion…ok I lie, I do have an option and I choose to voice it loud and clear! I wouldn’t call it road rage as such. The recipients of my choice words and horn bibbing may beg to differ but really idgaf.
If you live in England you’ll have noticed that the big, yellow orb in the sky we’re use to occasionally seeing has been teasing the life out of us over the past few months. I’m not knocking it (much) as I’m a sun child at heart, and it’s not as if I haven’t travelled to hotter climates, but there’s a big difference when you’re abroad.
They’re equipped for heat and we’re so not! I sensed the eye roll and heard the snigger when I told my cousin in the states I was sweating like a bitch in the 30 degree heat we had a little while back. I had to break down the fact that they have homes with air con and sea breezes whilst I live in the ‘penthouse’ á la greenhouse with a fan circulating hot air and frustration.
That being said, I’d never wish it away. When you have the right setting there’s nothing better than a sunshiny day. For those who don’t know, I have neuropathy (nerve damage) in my feet. It’s bad enough on a good day but the weather has played havoc with them – rain or shine. Thankfully I can drive, but since the neuropathy took hold all joy of being behind the wheel soon disappeared. The pedals added to the pain, so eventually after years of driving various cars I gave in and opted for an automatic.
I say gave in because I use to be one of those people who thought driving an automatic car was a cop out for lazy drivers. I fully take it all back! I’m glad I learned to drive manually, but I’m even happier there’s an option for me to drive relatively comfortably in my AD life. And after watching the button with lust and forever wanting, my latest car has air con that actually works!
She has become my sanctuary. I can enjoy the sun whilst pandering to my protean feet, blaring my tunes, feeling that vibe that only the sun can bring and life is good…. until some dickhead tries to wipe me out.
I wish I was joking but it’s coming like that’s the aim of the game for some of these fuckwits. It starts with the low level infringements and works it’s way up! Indicators for instance, although not a major deal it’s nice to have an INDICATION of where the frig you want to go! It’s bad enough when they expect you to mind read; it adds insult to injury when they decide they’ll switch the indicator on when they’ve done cut you up and are in front of you.
The Mexican standoff at a mini roundabout because they can’t figure out who moves first is another delight that has to get a mention.
YOU GIVE WAY TO THE RIGHT!
If that’s too hard to understand, one of you move and the rest should follow – it’s really not that hard.
Then you’ve got the ones who are waiting to pull out of a road and blatantly see you coming from afar. They make no attempt to move until you’re right up on them – which is fine IF you can follow it through and maintain the speed and distance necessary.
DO IT WITH CONVICTION OR DON’T DO IT AT ALL!
About you want ME to hit you up the backside when you pull out like you’re driving Miss Daisy! #NotToday
The last shout for the minors goes to the Sunday drivers, the *OAP’s and the boy/girl/trans racers who put their foot down to beat you to the lights by 5 seconds, and then sit revving their engines like a dick.
You get the ones who edge out further and further because they just have to beat you! Some of them are so busy edging out that when the lights actually do change they’re not ready, so they feel the need for extra speed. Am I the only one who secretly wishes I’d drive on to find they’d crashed? Not a serious hit with innocents and casualties; just enough damage done to dent their car and pride rather than their body or anyone else’s….like in a bush. A big fat bush, subliminally and metaphorically representing the pussies they are…
Just me is it?…ok I may need to talk someone…
I admit I’ve been done for speeding – twice! Once by those sneaky bastards and their speed guns, and the other time via speed camera coming back from London. I was caught doing 36 in a 30mph zone and 45 in a 40mph zone respectively. Hardly Lewis Hamilton speeds but they nabbed me all the same.
I paid my dues, did the course, and have avoided being done since. But the speeds I reached were not overly excessive in comparison to what others clock up, and I wasn’t in an environment where others were at risk from my speed.
It’s coming like red lights are a mere suggestion nowadays, and you don’t have to stop at them if you believe you can make it through. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone through on an amber, but when it’s blatantly red I’m stopping. Yeah, waiting is a pain, but I’d rather arrive at my intended destination and not my final one, so I keep my backside where it’s suppose to be.
I’ve witnessed the aftermath of someone speeding through a red light when those whose who are supposed to go have moved off and it ain’t pretty! It may seem worthwhile to you but you put other lives at risk to save on a few minutes.
I wasn’t too fussed about driving until I got the motivation – my kids. I’ve been with their dad since we were 17 and he could drive so it wasn’t a necessity. Naturally he wasn’t able to take me everywhere I wanted to go so I’d use taxis and public transport to get around, which is fine if you’re on your own. But as any parent will tell you, kids come with a lot of shit, and dragging a pushchair, child and paraphernalia on a bus ain’t the one!
Fast forward to the present day and it’s my daughters who are now experiencing the many joys the road has to offer. It’s nice to see them gain their independence with the added bonus of ‘mums cab’ in decline, but it’s also another worry until they’ve had a bit more experience out there on their own.
Obviously the only way you can gain experience is to do the task at hand. When she was learning I took my eldest out for lessons and I was pleasantly surprised at how attentive she was in regards to her surroundings and the mad manoeuvres some people like to pull; drivers and pedestrians alike! It’s like some of them believe they’re invincible!
Wtf happened to the Green Cross Code??? Do they not teach it anymore? Like, seriously!?! It’s needed more than ever these days with the many distractions of everyday living. I can’t tell you the amount of people who I’ve had near misses with because their focus is elsewhere and they can’t hear my car as she’s so quiet (and environmentally friendly!).
She was called Aurora but I’ve renamed her Arya – silent and deadly.
Three major infringements that cause the most concern and are my biggest worries are; Alcohol, Drugs and Mobile Fucking Phones!
I’m not a major risk taker. Life is too short and precious. I don’t drink alcohol and never have, and the drugs I take are purely medicinal (😏), but even if I did decide I’d like to try something different, the last place you’d find me is in the driving seat of a potential metal coffin on wheels whilst I’m doing so!
I don’t care how ‘safe’ a car is suppose to be, I’d prefer not to be the one to find out how good their makers word is! I have very little sympathy for those who choose to catch a buzz and endanger lives. Call an Uber, a friend, walk, run, crawl, or better still STAY YA ASS AT HOME!
YOU’VE GOT OPTIONS! USE THEM!!
It’s easy to get distracted, and one of the biggest distractions of our times is the mobile phone. We’ve come a long way with technology and they offer multiple functions at the tap of a screen, which is great an’ all, but there’s a time and a place. Again this applies to both drivers and pedestrians.
I really don’t understand what is so hard in allowing the phone whilst you’re driving or crossing roads. Personally I can drive any distance, no matter how far, and not once touch my phone. I’m lucky enough to have hands free and sat nav built in, but even if I didn’t I’d wait until it was safe to use it.
It’s one of my biggest bugbears as it’s totally unnecessary and to me unforgivable if it is the cause of an accident. Sorry, not sorry. I’m sick of seeing heediyats driving like cocks, swerving and having to slam on breaks because they can’t leave the phone alone. Some of them don’t even business about being discreet. Got their arm hitch’ up on the window or armrest just shooting the breeze! Not a care in the world or a thought for others.
I’m sure there’s a lot of you out there who think I’m just being extra, but tell that to the families of those wiped out because answering a call or sending a text was more of a priority than paying attention. The roads are bad enough as it is without you adding to the mix!
I could go on for days with the issues driving can bring, (potholes, parking and car problems especially!), but that’s enough for today! Despite driving driving me crazy, it’s also as much of a pleasure as a curse. There’s nothing like the freedom it can bring once the planets align, the vibe is right and there’s no dickheads in sight!
R.I.P Peter Mayhew and all those who have lost their lives this week.
Respect to Arya Stark, Lyanna Mormont, Black Widow and all the others females who show and prove – fictional or not!
*I mean no disrespect to all OAP’s, I know there are many competent older drivers. I’m addressing the ones who would give Mr Magoo a run for his money – and trust me they’re out there! I understand wanting their independence but some are downright reckless and need to be informed there is no shame to be had in hanging up their keys and accepting the bus pass gracefully! Just saying…
Think & Drive, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
“I ran into this girl, she said, “Why you always blaming? Why you can’t just face it? Why you always gotta be so mad?”
I got a lot to be mad about…”
Solange ~ Mad
I’ve actually lost count of the amount of stories I’ve read or clips I’ve watched over the past few months in regards to racist encounters. The tales are never ending and range in severity.
We’ve gone from the disgusting reversal of the promises made to the Windrush generation, to the death of 26 year old Botham Jean, minding his own business in his own home, only to be murdered by an off duty White police officer, claiming she didn’t realise it wasn’t her apartment….yeh, I’m still trying to work that one out too!
I’m sure you’ve seen at least one clip or heard of the police being called on people being Black whilst in a park, or a pool, or university, or sitting in a coffee shop, or a library, or on a train, or trying to enter their building…
I could go on but I’m guessing you get the picture. Many moons ago I saw a comedy sketch about something similar. Back then it was funny as it was an exaggeration of the abuse we were getting – now it’s actually turned into reality.
In Brooklyn a few weeks ago, a nine year old boy was out shopping with his family when he was accused of sexual assault by Teresa Sue Klein, aka Cornerstore Caroline. She claimed he brushed up against her and subsequently called the police. Thankfully it was caught on CCTV, and it clearly showed it was his backpack that had brushed against her as he passed her to exit the store.
As soon as I read it, the first thing to enter my head was this could have been the modern day Emmett Till. This boys saving grace is that we’re now in 2018 and cameras caught what had really happened.
You’d think that since 1955 a lot more would have changed, but we seem to be going backwards. Resident Chump and Brexshit have got folk feeling all kind of ways, and they’re mostly negative and inherently racist.
Last week 77 year old Delsie Gayle was racially abused on a Ryanair flight from Barcelona. David Mesher was upset that the pensioner didn’t move quickly enough when he wanted to get to his seat so he decided to let her and the flight know about it. He accused her of speaking to him in a foreign language and addressed her as an ugly Black bastard and a stupid cow.
The airline failed to act at the time, and the last I’d heard, they still hadn’t contacted Mrs Gayle. I have no doubt in my mind that if the same act were made by a Black person against an elderly White woman the results would have been much different. His ass would have been hauled off the plane and in a Spanish jail before you could say siesta!
I could go on with a list of examples but they all culminate in this. It doesn’t matter how much footage we have to prove we are the victims – there’s not much a White privilege card can’t cover. It has the ability to allow White people to give no apology or a half hearted one, and claim they are not racist despite the rhetoric that comes out of their mouths.
It has the ability to take the focus off of the crime they have committed and switch it so that the victim is made to look like a bad person who somehow deserved whatever they got.
It’s like a martini – it works anytime, any place, anywhere. As long as you’re lacking melanin you’re good to go! No need to worry about the effects their actions have on our young or old. Why would they concern themselves with the thoughts and feelings of a lesser being?
That’s what they have been believing we are for the longest while so why do we expect any different? In their eyes we should just be quiet and thankful we’re not out picking cotton, chopping cane or hanging from trees.
There are some things in life you can never truly understand unless you live it, but a little understanding goes a long way. You want to know why we’re so mad? Ignorance and stupidity. For centuries we have tried every which way to show you that the way you treat us is beyond way out of order. It’s disturbingly blatant, yet because it’s us it’s somehow ok and we should just suck it up.
You wanna be us; but you don’t want to be us!
We know it’s not all white people that hate, but the powers that be have shown throughout HisStory what they think of us. Amendments, laws, rules and regulations were made by privileged white men to protect their own kind, and I honestly don’t see any major breakthroughs in our “relationship” without some kind of revolution as a resolution. #IMO
We’re nearing the end of Black history month, and as I’ve already debated the whole ‘allocated month’ shit, I won’t go back there fully, except to say my history will never be confined to one month. We’re rolling straight on through baby!
I will never be anything but proud to be black. I love my people, I love my culture and have no desire to lighten or whiten to fit in or deny who and what I am. I won’t be silent or silenced. Last night I watched The Hate U Give and I encourage everybody to go and watch it.
It hits upon a lot of home truths on both sides of the coin and the message is clear for those who choose to see it.
We’ve come some way, but definitely nowhere near where we should be and need to be as a people. T.H.U.G breaks it down and highlights it beautifully. We need to stop the fighting between ourselves as we’ve got a big enough problem to deal with and we’re fundamentally making the job easier for them.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week
This was originally first published back in August 2018
I’m baaacckk! Didn’t mean to have a break for so long but I was looking for mo and jo and you’ll be happy to know I’ve caught up with them now.
Have you ever sat and wondered wtf is wrong with people? I’ve been asking that question a lot lately. I’ve recently had to address certain situations that in my mind are unnecessary, and an incident a couple of days ago flared up my allergies again. For those of you unaware, I’ve been diagnosed as allergic to bullshit, fuckery and I’m drama intolerant.
Cancer woke me up to how short and how precious life and time are and my allergies are a side effect of this. I know I’ve said it before but it’s the truth. You see things with fresh eyes and it’s actually crazy how much you let slide when you believe you have time on your side. I know I’m not perfect and I know not everyone is going to like me, but I’d like to think I’m a good person and try to do right by people. I don’t want for much and I’m probably one of the most low maintenance people you can get so it wasn’t hard re-evaluating what’s worth spending time on.
My husband thinks I’m too soft but, depending on the circumstances, I give people 3 strikes before they’re out, meaning if we’ve fallen out over something minor or I’ve tried over time to contact you I’ll give it 3 attempts and then I’m done. You can come talk to me but I’m not about trying to contact you, which I think is quite fair.
A few years ago I fell out with a friend. She made it abundantly clear that I had not given her enough attention and I was a bad friend. In my mind it wasn’t anything major, miscommunication at best. She had an issue with her back and I fully appreciate it was a hard time for her, but at the same time it wasn’t a touch on the shit I was dealing with that she had subsequently ignored. All that aside I still put in the obligatory 3 attempts of phone calls and texts to try to sort the situation but to no avail. In the last message I wished her well and moved on.
Recently, after having no issue with certain members of her family I was suddenly locked off. One minute we were fine, the next I was being blanked. At the same time I was trying to contact a mutual friend yet seemed to be getting the same response. On strike 3 she happened to reply and that’s when I realised I was having an allergic reaction. Silly me dived in without checking the ingredients. They were full of nuts…
I was informed that (wait for it) the reason why I’d been locked off is because I’m an aggressive texter. I was actually told that a text can ruin a good friendship and I should think about that because I could lose more. There was no ‘let me hear your side’. She had already believed what she had been told and was letting me know it was on me. Well I did think about it and have come to the conclusion that a text can’t ruin a true friendship but it can end a fake one in a heartbeat.
Now let’s be clear here, I know I have a potty mouth but in all of my messages to them not once was I rude or did I cuss them out. I was respectful and simply spoke my truth, asked questions where necessary, told them how I was feeling and ended each one with well wishes. They may call it aggressive – I call it real talk! Sometimes though the truth hurts, and I believe that’s what happened here. It’s possible my words could have been misinterpreted but here’s the thing, if you’re suppose to be my friend and it upsets you so much why not pick up the rahtid phone or come to my face and tell me?
I confess I questioned myself for a hot minute, but then I thought I’d try a little test…👀
I sent the mutual friend a text that I was thinking of sending to one of the “friends” I’d offended and asked her to vet it and give me her honest opinion on if she thought it was negative or aggressive.
She read it and agreed it was a nice, positive text. I then informed her that it was actually a copy of the one that I had already sent and was shut down over. Her response was maybe I should just leave it then…so “mutual friend”, they can get away with blatantly telling lies to you about what I’ve done and I’m to leave it, yet you have no problem in believing what they say about me and telling me how I’ve possibly offended them and what I should do.
Alrighty then!
Thankfully I have more than enough genuine, bonafide, ride or fucking die friends that are there for me 24/7, rain or shine. We build each other up, support each other’s goals and are woman or man enough to address any differences or queries like adults. I can guarantee you this shit would never happen with them. Ever! We’re too grown.
Ain’t nobody got time for fake ass friends and the Mean Girls shit, I left them days back in ‘91, so as much as they may like to think I feel a way, I really don’t. It’s the reason why I haven’t felt the need to contact her in 2 years and why I will continue to do the same with the rest of them. I can live with the worst thing they can muster about me being I’m an ‘aggressive texter!’ Got to admit that was the joke of the day! I’m actually trying to figure out if that’s the most petty and pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard from grown ass women and it’s come in real close.
Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season. Don’t beg or bow down, if it’s meant to be it will work itself out without the bullshit, fuckery and drama. If others don’t want to speak to you because of someone else’s opinion of you, or they spread idle gossip about you without finding out the facts and/or hearing your side, then they really aren’t your friends. If you can’t hold your own thoughts and judge me on our own friendship then why would I want to know you? We’re clearly on 2 different levels and I’m good with that.
Whatever you’re going through don’t let anybody dim your shine with their shade throwing. Question yourself and if you’re sure it ain’t you keep on moving and try to shine a little brighter and dazzle the fuck out of them! Listen to the talk and check on your strong friend. Stress is a killer and we’re not superhuman all the time, even if it looks that way on the outside. I’m thankful, grateful and blessed to have a network of real friends who do just that and vice versa. Also don’t believe the hype that your best friends are the ones you’ve known the longest. Some may well be, but go for quality over quantity every time!
R.I.P Dani Richardson. You were truly one of the most talented and genuinely nice men I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. The party will be lively up there once you and the other legends get jamming!
R.I.P Aretha Franklin, Kofi Annan and all those who have lost their lives this week.
Mojo Flow, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
It feels like I’m stating the obvious when I say it seems as if the world has truly gone mad. In fact I swear I’ve started a blog like this before. Everyday there’s some new addition to the ongoing madness that is residing all over the place. Even the remotest spot in the world can’t escape it, so it’s great when something nice comes along to raise people’s spirits and take their minds off of things – if only for a day. #WeddingOrFACup
I know there is a lot of worldwide love for the royals, but despite being born and bred in England, from a young age I honestly didn’t understand what their purpose was and I honestly still don’t. I mean, what do they actually do? And why do taxpayers have to subsidise some of their living costs when they have more than enough wealth to help themselves? I’m not totally ignorant, I know they generate tourism and a few have/had jobs in the forces etc, but not all and what do the rest do? And exactly how much wealth does tourism generate?
It’s not that I hate them and you can’t control what you are born into, but I think they’re an outdated entity who, with the world being the way it is right now, could quite easily give back to their subjects and help fix their country without putting too big a dent in their vast pockets.
There’s only one member of the royal family that I paid any attention to and that was Princess Diana. She always seemed like the realist of the bunch (which she proved with ‘that’ interview – we love real talk!), and she was the first royal I’d ever seen truly interact with everyday people and not look like she wanted to run and decontaminate herself as soon as it was over. She had that human touch where the rest were as stiff as their waxworks. I really felt for William and Harry when she died. It’s hard enough dealing with dysfunctional families and grief at any time let alone as a child in the public eye.
Fast forward a few years and here they are, both grown and in love – and who doesn’t love love?…well, plenty to be honest! It seems there are some not so keen on the bloodline being tainted with melanin. Oh well! Such is life! You can’t help who you fall for and unfortunately you can’t pick your family either. And what a family on both sides!
If you pay any attention to the news you can’t escape hearing about the scourge that is the Markle family. To put it bluntly, what a bunch of cunts! Her siblings are phenomenal! If we’re honest we’ve all got at least one family member who fits that description, but she got a job lot. She had already made a name for herself in her own right and now she’s topped it off by marrying a prince and their jealousy is palpable.
Their actions have been atrocious and I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor cow…but keeping it 100, myself and the majority of Black people breathed a collective sigh of relief when the stories that appeared in the press were all about the White side. REAL TALK! Can you imagine if the drama was on her mothers side? You’d never hear the end of it and I can just see the headlines now; ‘Pass The Duchess Pon The Lefthand Side’. Personally I would have loved if her mother walked her down the aisle. She’s the only one who has shown dignity throughout, but to each their own I guess.
Whichever way you look at it history is about to be made and an age old monarchy is about to be hit with a fresh, new breed! As a woman of colour, newlywed and a true lover of love (no matter what mix), I’m happy for them both and will be tuning in to see the sights.
I’ll be goddamned if I’ll be standing with the masses to catch a glimpse though, despite it being right on my doorstep. I really can’t do crowds and Windsor is peopley enough on an average day let alone today. I hope they can prove the doubters and naysayers wrong and it lasts a lifetime…or at least as long as the disruption it’s caused to my life! I don’t mean to bitch (👀) but it’d be nice to get back to normality and pop down the road to Waitrose and Thai Terrace in peace.
Good luck and congratulations Harry & Meghan.
R.I.P. To all those who have lost their lives this week.
Love Love, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy and blogging, for me, is a welcome release. Unfortunately I’m dealing with an ongoing issue that, to be completely honest, is draining but necessary.
The endless emails I’ve had to write took the joy out of me wanting to pick up my iPad and reel off to whoever chooses to actually READ my thoughts. (And I truly do appreciate and applaud you all – you’re a dying breed!). Then after watching the news recently I felt the old spark return and compelled to write.
You see part of my problem is having to deal with various government bodies and if I ever needed a picture of how fucked up this cuntry can be I have been shown with clarity. These recent events have just confirmed that they really are incredible. And not in a good way.
For those of you who pay any attention to the news, and especially those who still believe the lie being told and sold to the masses that Grate Britain isn’t run by a bunch of incompetent racists, your eyes should have been well and truly opened over the past couple of weeks. You will notice I’ve always spelt it as Grate Britain and now you know why. They constantly have the ability to rub you up the wrong way.
Yes, it’s the place of my birth and there are far worse places I could have been born in, trust me I’m aware and thankful, but that doesn’t mean because there are worse places I should accept their bad. I fully expect to receive the obligatory eye rolls and shouts of ‘sod off back to where you came from then!’, but I honestly couldn’t give a fuck.
You’ve gotta hand it to team GB – they’ve got balls! They’ll take pride in regaling on the past but conveniently omit the darker parts – pun fully intended – and tell us we need to let things go. The reality is a cuntry that at various time’s throughout history have invaded almost 90% of the planet doesn’t make you great, it makes you opportunist bullies and users.
You don’t even have to dig too deep to discover how the majority of the businesses that made you “great” were funded by the blood, sweat and tears of a lot of black and brown folk – you know, somewhere around the time you were being paid compensation for your loss of livestock after getting rich from years of free labour.
Fast forward to the present day and here you are again trying it! Only this time it’s not as easy to sweep us under the carpet. You colonised and created the commonwealth to benefit you all the while maintaining you were doing a good thing to help out those poor, unfortunate and uncivilised black souls. Thank God for the British rule. However did we manage before you came along?
It’s nice to jet off to your holiday home in the Caribbean to top up your tan and sip on a rum punch, yet when the storm comes and we’re looking at you for assistance we’re somehow not sheltered under your umbrella-ella-ella-eh EH? And you wonder why they took so long when the hurricanes struck! That’s the problem with sticking your oar in and announcing your authority. At some point people are going to question your interference and ask you to show and prove.
YOU asked for the so called ‘Windrush Generation’ to come over here and they came to meet a cold front on many levels yet knuckled down and grafted hard to build you up again. There’s no denying their contribution and this is how you repay them. When I hear stories of people denied cancer treatment or stuck in the Caribbean unable to make it home for their mothers funeral it makes my blood boil and my heart sink.
You’d rather real terrorist threats stay here yet deport people who have proved their worth and dedication for decades. At the very least they could have kept the boarding cards as memorabilia before putting them in a shredder and throwing them out with the rubbish, but it says it all really.
You may have offered up Amber Rudd as the sacrificial lamb and replaced her with a token figure to try to placate us, but that don’t mean a thing. This shit runs deep and has been flowing for a lot longer than I’d realised. Now they want to add insult to injury and have voted against public disclosure. Why Grate Britain? What more have you got to hide? It can’t be much worse than what we’re aware of surely, and if it is you may as well rip the bandage off and fix the issue. It’s ok – we’re not going anywhere.
3 years in remission today! Woop! Woop!
R.I.P little cuz Aliyah and to all those who have lost their lives this week
Okay, I know I said that I’d explain my absence to you but instead of going in deep it’s easier (for now) to sum it up in one word – People. I don’t want to misinterpret myself and make it appear as if I’m not a people person, because I so am – it just has to be the right type of people.
Again, don’t misinterpret this as me hating on any particular group of people. I have a whole range of acquaintances, family and those close few I can call true friends in all colours, creeds, shapes and sizes. I will happily have a convo with a random stranger in a queue or buy a homeless person a munch. Overall I’m good with others. I was brought up with manners which have stuck and more time if I don’t say hello when I’m out it’s because I didn’t see you or I’m in my thoughts somewhere. Yep, me and the populous are just fine. When I talk about ‘people’ I mean the alternative Black definition.
For those of you who don’t know let me clarify. ‘People’ can be one person or a group. For whatever reason they have overstepped the mark or caused upset of some kind, minor or major. If you’re addressed as ‘people’ it’s usually in the form of a sometimes subtle, sometimes not, warning and it can also be used in exchange of an expletive. Basically you are/are being a cunt.
I’ve spoken about the lack of humanity previously on a couple of occasions and find myself here again. Unless you’re totally devoid of any emotion there’s at least one thing or one time you can think of where someone’s actions had you asking wtf, why would anybody do that? My main ‘people’ problem has been a continuous saga that I’m hoping I’ll see the end of soon – I’m sure there are plenty that can relate. But on top of our own personal ‘people’ issues there is a major global ‘people’ problem that we all need to be watching with side eye whilst googling the easiest way to build a fallout shelter – AmeriKKKa I’m talking to you.
I’m aware we have our own issues to focus on in Grate Britain and Resident Chump is known to air his petty, small minded, racist opinion on a multitude of subjects at any given time, but I found it hard to ignore his comment about immigrants from “shithole countries”. For the longest while I’ve wanted to know my true heritage and trace my roots by building a family tree. The Mr and my daughters caught the big ass hints I dropped all year and bought me an ancestry dna testing kit for my birthday. Not that I didn’t already know I was of African descent, it was amazing to have confirmation that I am 97% African Queen…and 3% Irish, and I honestly love it and couldn’t be prouder.
Ideally I would love to visit every country that came up as a dna hit. So far I can only cross Ireland off of the list. It’s a beautiful place which reminded me of the West Indies and is why I nicknamed it Irieland. Little did I know then it was in my blood blud! I want to save the full breakdown of the remaining countries for another blog sometime soon.
According to Chump the rest of the places I want to visit are shitholes or shithouses depending on what you read. In R.I.P’d Off (Part 8), I spoke about Haiti and their struggles and I suggest Chump checks up on his history before washing his mouth on these countries, as they were not shitholes before the White man “discovered” any of them. Where’s the millions of dollars the American Red Cross had to help rebuild Haiti after the the horrors they faced? We won’t even start on the people, precious gems and natural resources you’ve managed to pillage over centuries from the other shitholes…
#PeopleNeedToWatchWhatTheySayBeforeItGetsThemInTrouble
It takes every kinda people to make what life’s about, but you shouldn’t let every kinda ‘people’ take the piss. Trust me I know in some circumstances it’s hard as your hands are tied, but I believe in karma so I’m focusing more on letting her do the job. How we deal with any kind of people is up to us and how much time and energy we are willing to give, as the majority of us know how precious time is.
Weigh up if it’s worth it and if it is do your thang! I’m not so sure about AmeriKKKa leaving it to karma to deal with their issues though. I honestly don’t know what they were expecting when they elected Resident Chump to run the country but I can 100% believe his reaction was as written in Fire and Fury. Not even he thought y’all would be dumb enough to elect him!
The joke has gone far enough. Even Mother Nature is clearly showing us she’s vex with him (ok yes, and the rest of the world!) at not recognising global warming, sending in her own version of Fire and Fury. I don’t know the ins and outs of this North Korea madness, but I do know I don’t trust either sides leaders and the downside is the possibility of WW3 – which could effect us all. That is, of course, if he decides he wants to be our friend again and come over to our house to play.
As for his medical check up – can we say all say ‘fake news’. He can’t even tell the truth about his height ffs! It’s all good though. Maybe his heart will give out before too long, oh wait, you have to have one first. Serious times call for serious measures. AmeriKKKa wake up and impeach this clown before he takes your country to the point of no return.
I will give him credit where it’s due though. He promised to make AmeriKKKa great again and he’s definitely hit the target. You’ve got the greatest dickhead for president.
R.I.P Cyrille Regis and all those who have lost their lives this week.
Watch Your Mouth, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
In my last blog I told you about me dealing with the 3 wise monkeys and things never being straightforward for me. Let me elaborate on what I mean with a prime example. For most, switching broadband providers ain’t a thang. For most! I have come to realise I’m really not most people. Grab a beverage – I’m gonna be a while!
I have Sky tv, landline and broadband and have had them for a while, but my broadband has been slow as you like and reception lacking to the point of my daughters having to congregate in my room as that’s the only place you could get a half decent signal. Now as much as I love my daughters, my boudoir is my sanctuary and after months of invasion I’d finally had enough and decided I was going to switch to Virgin fibre – ergo the start of the madness.
I called Virgin and it was all arranged that I would keep my Sky landline number and receive their superfast, top of the range fibre on June 6th. I happily counted down the days, and 3 weeks later the day arrived.
2 engineers came, and 3 1/2 hours later 3 engineers and a supervisor left – and so did my joy, as between them they couldn’t connect me or work out what the issue was despite my neighbours being connected with no problem. Apparently they couldn’t find a connection to my flat and I had to contact the housing association to sort it before I could join them. Great. Fanfuckingtastic.
This now left me in a dilemma. I’d cancelled with Sky but I still had their tv package. Virgin had said they would sort things from their end to get me back to Sky but I didn’t want their broadband back – that was the whole purpose of me wanting to switch!! As I was getting married in August and flying out of the country in July I decided I wouldn’t do anything until we returned.
Once back, I debated my options and called Sky to verify I was still with them for now. They said yes and sweet talked me – yes, sweet talked, as I put my hands up and admit I’m a bit of a telly addict and SkyQ had been calling my name for the longest while, so when they told me about their fantastic SkyQ and Sky superfast fibre offer I got blinded by the lights, and the storage, and the…everything!!
Before I knew it I had an appointment booked for connection of my Sky fibre on October 17th and my SkyQ and mini box on October 29th. That was back in mid September and whilst I waited patiently I became aware that people had been trying to call my landline from mobiles but couldn’t get through. To be honest I hadn’t realised as I could still make calls and don’t get that many calls on that phone.
I called Sky and told them about the problem. They told me they would call me back on my mobile and then I should hang up the landline and they’d do some checks. A few minutes later they told me they’d done their checks and everything was fine…hmm, is it really?
I asked them if they’d tried calling from a mobile – you know, the whole reason as to why I’m calling, and they said, “Well, erm..no.” After trying that he came back and told me it looked like I had a problem, and they’d send an engineer out on October 12th. Here’s where the real fun begins.
An Openreach engineer came out on the 12th and checked the line in my flat and outside at the main box. I got a call from him whilst he was outside to ask if I was sure I was a Sky customer (seriously!) as it didn’t look like I was connected with them and there was nothing more he could do from his end. He left and I called Sky who told me they were waiting on the engineer to send a report before they could confirm what the issue was.
The next day I awoke to no landline at all and no wifi! #FridayTheThirteenthForReal
After trying to call Sky and being cut off I decided to try their messaging service. All I can say is I’m glad that I did because it’s black and white evidence of their incompetence and there’s no chance of anybody saying shit when I put in my complaint. I started with Andy from the VIP service team in Derry. It took him 5 hours after my security check to get back to me and tell me that it looked like my line was wired to the wrong exchange and the engineers have advised that the line needs to be cancelled and re-ordered. Come again!?!? I asked him why and he said it’s not a Sky problem it’s an Openreach problem…can you see where this is going?
After speaking to Linda, Amy, James, Nadine and Andrew from various departments over a few days and getting nowhere fast it occurred to me that this episode could fuck up my superfast fibre order, so I specifically asked if this would be the case. I was assured it would be fine but quelle surprise, the 17th rolled around and it wasn’t. I was told I’d now have to wait until they’d cancelled this current order and they’d re-order it again…#DejaVuAnyone
Fast forward a few days and after conversations with Greg, Julie and Michael I got nowhere but Steve then told me my landline order still hadn’t been cancelled and re-ordered as Openreach were now advising they would be sending someone out again to see if they could solve the problem from their end once more. Now this is slap bang in the middle of half term and would you like to guess whose mobile data got waxed off by a pair of leeches on my personal hotspot resulting in forking out for a bolt on? You don’t even need to ask; an official complaint was made!
Conveniently, Openreach came out AFTER half term and managed to reconnect my landline and wifi but it was still super slow and mobiles still couldn’t get through. They advised me that the mobile issue was definitely a Sky problem and I should contact them…again. By this time we’d reached the 29th, SkyQ day! Yay!! At least I’d be able to take comfort in good telly right? Wrong.
I managed to get hooked up without a hitch but because of my supershit broadband downloading programs took an age. Oh, and to top it off, they forgot my mini box. So now I have one tv on tortoise mode and the other one back to basic freeview channels. Not to worry though, they’d sort me out with a mini box on December 1st! If you’re still with me and can process all of this fuckery you’ll realise that at this point we were still in October. They wanted me to wait over a month to receive an item they’d forgotten…after all of the ongoing nonsense – I DON’T THINK SO!!
I got back on to Sky and after convos with Mags and Jade I got put through to Liz. Liz is who I am currently in talks with. Well, I think I am. She’s lasted the longest so far and after 3 weeks we’ve kinda built up a rapport, asking how each other’s weekends were and the like. I had high hopes for Liz. She fully understood my frustration.
Liz put in another complaint (to which I promptly received a phone call from the complaints department promising to call me back the next day…I’m still waiting) and she made sure they sped up my mini box order to November 15th and FINALLY got my old Sky superfast fibre order cancelled and re-ordered for the 29th, with promises that she would be advising that I’m properly compensated when everything was sorted. She then moved on to trying to sort the phone problem out and that’s when the bubble burst. After having a conversation with Openreach, the engineer and their network team they were saying it was an issue with my number. She then came back with this gem:
“Dawn, thanks for your patience. I have spoken to Openreach and they are advising that there is no issue with your number. I have sent it back to our network team to have a look at. Do you have a list of the mobile numbers that haven’t been able to get through and roughly what time the attempt was made?”
Huh!? I’m sorry, you want me to do what now!? Oh yeah, because obviously it’s feasible that every random mobile that calls my landline has an issue and it’s not your shitty fucking line. Excuse me as I call my friends and family and ask them to check their call lists for those times you tried to call me and couldn’t get through. WTF! You’re having a laugh, surely!? Which is what I told Liz in a roundabout way. I don’t think she appreciated my sarcasm…she’s been a little cool since. The smiley faces are gone and she didn’t ask me how my weekend was. I was suppose to hear back from her yesterday but…
And so the saga continues! I forgot to mention that in the midst of all that drama they sent me a message with great news – I’m a VIP Platinum customer. That means I’ve been with them between 8-15 years and I can tell you it’s closer to 15. So what does that mean Dawn? That for all the money and loyalty you’ve invested in us we’ll prioritise your issues and get you sorted? No. They’ve given me a free film and offers for audience tickets to various shows that are all conveniently fully booked.
I’ve got a few more days until they attempt to hook me up with their superfast fibre. Any takers on how that’ll pan out? I know what you’re thinking. Why haven’t you just locked them off and gone elsewhere? All of the above should explain why! I bloody tried and look where it got me. I figured better the devil you know, forgetting that the devil is a liar.
Believe In Better is Sky’s motto. Believe me I do believe there is better out there, but right now I don’t have the energy to find out. All I wanna do is watch a little bit of tv…ok a lot. Sorry, not sorry. I’m a home bird and Winter is here. I may have been born in November but there is a sun child in my heart, body, soul and skin. It’s hibernation time and I want to enjoy mine. Is that really too much to ask?
That was just one of many dramas that make up my life recently. I won’t even tell you what happened when I got a new car!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week
First World Problems, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m one of those people whose life is 9 times out of 10 never straightforward. Even a simple, everyday manoeuvre will usually result in me having some form of tale to tell by the end of it. The past few weeks and counting have been above average.
The highlight being in talks with the 3 wise monkeys – Sky, Openreach and Slough Borough Council – between them I have seen and heard more shit than I care to deal with and spoken to too many imbeciles to count. I swear they’ve flagged my name so that as soon as my number comes up only idiots are allowed to deal with any issues I have.
One ray of sunshine in my otherwise overcast weeks was my firstborns 18th birthday. I’m giving myself props, as before her and her sister were born I couldn’t even keep a plant alive (still can’t!), so to raise a child to government-adult status is a real accomplishment.
I say government-adult because, as far as I’m concerned, just because you turn 18 does not a man or woman make. I know some fifty odd year olds that aren’t grown yet, and believe me I’m not even joking. On the flip side I know some very mature young people, but she’s not quite there yet. I’ll let her know when I think she’s grown enough, and until I witness it I can’t define it with a number…but I can tell you it isn’t 18.
I couldn’t help but compare her to myself at the same age, and I was definitely more mature; with no disrespect to my daughter at all. It’s not that she’s overly immature, she just hasn’t had the same experiences as me to warrant her having to take on real adult responsibilities yet. For starters she has two loving parents in her life, where as I was raised by my mum and older siblings. I’m not knocking it, we didn’t have a lot but my mum loved us and did what she could for us, and who’s to say it would have been any better with my dad in the picture?
I will never know the answer nor do I care, but I do know that not having him about and clocking how the male role models in my life stayed, it made me determined that I was going to be very picky about who I chose to have children with, and if I had daughters they would be told that although no man is an island it doesn’t mean you have to take on every castaway.
Another difference between us is she is the eldest child of two, where as I was the youngest, (by 5 minutes) of five. Like me back then, she has to share a room (hopefully not for too much longer), but unlike me it wasn’t with a sociopath. That’s another story for another day but it’s the reason why I left home at 17 and why I only managed one year of my media studies course at college. I wasn’t quite as good at multitasking as I am now (👀) so I couldn’t really deal with homelessness and education at the same time.
I figured the priority was a roof over my head and to earn money to pay for it. I’d eventually sort myself out and then go back and complete the course at some point but….erm….yeah, that never happened but life did! I’m not too fussed though. The way I see it, life happened so I’d have plenty to write about when the time was right. Thankfully Isis is now into her second year at college. She’s still not sure which career path she wants to take but I’m grateful she’s at least had a smoother ride so far than I did.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t worry about what the future holds for her and her sister. The world is more messed up on every level than it has ever been, and being Black and women means they’ll have to fight harder. I’ve tried my damnedest to keep things real with them from day one. Yes they are British, but they are Black first and foremost.
As much as colour shouldn’t count it does to a lot in this realm, always has and always will until that change that gon’ come, comes!! There have been some small changes since way back when but we need the big whammy to really shake shit up! You know we have a loooonnnggg way to go when they can airbrush our hair out of pictures and prevent us from progressing because of our natural hair type. #DTMH
I can’t say either daughter has given me any serious cause for concern…yet. Here’s hoping they never do but you never really know. Being a part of Generation Effed does not help their cause. Technology is great but the internet and social media has turned a whole heap of our youth into shallow, vain, pretentious, materialistic, selfish sheep. It stems back to nature versus nurture but it’s not really one or the other it’s both. The majority of us raise them with the intention of them growing up to be well rounded, responsible adults but our intentions and expectations can only go so far.
Others either drag them up or pander to their every whim, so there’s little wonder as to how they turn out…or is there? I know kids that have had far from the greatest start that flourish and others that have come from loving, stable homes that end up in prison. Now that is definitely down to nature not nurture. Parenting certainly ain’t easy and we can’t beat ourselves up if we know we’ve tried our best and failed. Sometimes it’s simply down to the DNA and you can’t compete with that.
Our children will potentially be someone’s husband/wife/father/mother and we owe it to them and ourselves to try and shape them into decent human beings, but once they are out in the big wide world the paths we’d like them to choose may not be the ones they want to follow. As much as they are our babies at heart in reality they’re not.
I’ve tried to teach my daughters that life isn’t all a bed of roses – there’s the thorns and manure to contend with amongst the beauty. Celebrate life by all means, but show a little love and compassion to others at the same time. The amount of unnecessary deaths of youngsters nowadays is heartbreakingly sad and frankly fucking pointless. If you teach your children one thing, teach them that life really is too short to be wasted.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Only Time Will Tell, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Well, my last post was the day after Manchester and now we’re nearly a week after London Bridge. My sentiments remain the same. Whatever theory you believe, or whoever you want to point the finger at, does not take away from the fact that it’s everyday people like me and you who end up suffering.
I know it can’t be easy for authorities to follow every suspect out there but there’s one thing I’d like someone to explain to me; why did nobody think to keep a closer eye on The Jihadis Next Door? You couldn’t get a bigger fucking whiff of suspicion if you tried. So it’s ok to use them for ratings and send them on their way knowing exactly what they’re all about? It’s one of many cock ups by the government that costs people’s lives and yet again my heart goes out to all innocents caught up in the madness.
Moving on, I’ve been wondering why it is that some people like to find their way all up in your business? It’s one thing if it’s been put out there by yourself; you can hardly complain if you’re vocal or post a status about something and people ask what’s going on. As far as I’m concerned if you’re putting it on social media it’s obviously not something you want to keep to yourself. I understand that sometimes you can’t go into full detail but feel so frustrated or upset over a situation you just want to vent – been there, done that!, but unlike some I won’t leave you in suspense or tell you to inbox me (attention seeking much!?), I’ll tell you straight I can’t divulge anymore just yet but you’ll know when the time’s right!
If I offer up information and people enquire about it that’s not being nosey…well, to an extent. No, I don’t have to tell all if I don’t want to, but if I’ve already kinda addressed a subject publicly I’d rather people ask than assume or presume and I will set the record straight either way. Despite not giving a rats arse what others think of me and having the ability to laugh it off the majority of the time, what sometimes irks me is when folk take it upon themselves to tell me their opinion of my life. If I’ve asked for it, crack on. I may not agree with everything you have to say but I’ll hear you out. If curiosity is really burning you, ask. I’d prefer it to assumption and innuendo. You will either be told the truth or to fuck off depending on the question, can’t say fairer than that! If, however, I haven’t asked or you don’t know me from Adam, could you please just hush your mouth. Respectfully.
An example of this happened recently. After an enjoyable meal with my hentourage we headed across the road to the Broadway Theatre to be entertained by a selection of fabulously talented women spreading that Black Girl Magic! At the end of the evening the host addressed myself congratulating me on my upcoming marriage and for being together for 25 years. Unbeknown to us, and as unlikely as it may seem, there just so happened to be another Dawn having her hen do that night who had been with her partner for 25 years too! Seriously, you couldn’t make it up! I’m not sure which one of us he was congratulating but we both shared the love. As we were preparing to leave Dawn2 and her crew paused on their way out to congratulate us and informed us of the coincidence. Niceties were exchanged and then one of her friends taps me on the arm as she passes by and says, “Yes darling, about bloody time too! 25 years is too long. It should have been done time ago!”
Oh is it?…says who?
I gave her a smile and a nod as my vibe was nice and I couldn’t be arsed to correct her. It’s possible that is her Dawn’s story and she thought because I had the rest in common with her that everything was the same – it’s really not. It’s not ‘about time’, it’s the ‘right time’ – there’s a difference. We have love and trust and can fill in the relationship conformity blanks as and when, there’s no rush because society or religion says so. It hasn’t always been easy, we’ve been through a lot over the years but we’re still standing. You need a solid foundation before you build anything, relationships included, and ours is set. We do what works for us and have nothing to prove to anybody but ourselves and our daughters, and once we’re happy, job done! The higher power can judge us, the rest of you can do one.
It’s funny how some things can stick in your mind. I can distinctly remember two people back in the day, who probably don’t even recall saying anything, taking it upon themselves to tell me that, a) He’s not right for you, you could do better, and b) You don’t know ’bout relationships. You’re just a yout’! Well 25 years later that “yout” is grown and STILL with the same man knowing nothing about relationships.
I’ll save your blushes and not name and shame and say nothing more than maybe y’all should have practiced what you preached!
Life has taught me to never presume or assume anything of anyone, it’s full of surprises and people even more so. I’ve gone way past thinking ‘they would never’, full throttle to ‘you never bloody know!’ – because you never do! If you really are interested, ask, it’s that simple.
I try my best not to interfere in other peoples business and/or relationships but if we’re close and I see something that causes concern I’m not afraid to talk up, which sounds like a contradiction of the above but it’s said under the right circumstances. If I can see someone’s not appreciating your worth or something’s not right, I have been, and will continue to be, that friend that tells it straight – not in a horrible way, but with love and straight up real talk! That’s what REAL friends do – be it a wonky weave or a wasteman!
R.I.P to the London Bridge 8 and all of those who have lost their lives this week.
Giving credit where it’s due to Diane Abbott. I’ll put my hands up and say I’ve never been a big fan or paid much attention to her purely because I’m not big on politics, but after reading up on her history I salute you! You may have made a few gaffs recently but put them in comparison to what you’ve achieved and it ain’t a thang! Rest up Queen, you’ve earned it!
Think Before You Speak, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
It’s ironic that the day I choose to get back on my writing game is the morning I wake up to hear about the nightmare in Manchester.
The irony is the sole reason I had to take a break is because I’d literally had my fill of people and the blatant lack of humanity. I’m not naive, I know we’re not all saints and some people are straight up bastards, but when you’re facing them head on and feel the effects of what they are capable of it’s a whole other story.
When their actions involves the loss of children it cuts deeper still. The act is bad enough, but to knowingly target kids is lower than low. What kind of a world are we living in? My heart truly goes out to those who died, the injured and their families.
For nearly a year I’ve posted weekly and very rarely have an issue with finding a topic, last week was no different. I was good to go and then something happened, and in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t life threatening or anything I hadn’t experienced before, so it shouldn’t have meant a thing, but it was just enough to make my cup runneth over!
We all have our lot in life and I’d like to think I’ve handled the shit that comes flying my way relatively well. For the most part I just carry on and try to make it through the day alive. I’ve learnt from the lessons life has taught me (sometimes it takes a couple of goes but I get there eventually!), and I try not to let too much stress me, but when it’s something or someone I love I can’t just switch off – especially if someone else is taking absolute liberties.
One action caused a chink in my armour. I sat blubbering to my cousin wondering why I was feeling the way I was considering it was nothing new. Unnecessary drama by others made necessary because it starts off a chain reaction.
After nearly 2 years of it I’d had enough. 1001 thoughts ran through my head as to where to go from here. I was sick and tired of it all but stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Then she reeled off all I’d been through and I became aware I was actually going through the five stages of beef:
Denial (No one can be this messed up, it’s not true😲)
Anger (Who the fuck do they think they are!?😤)
Bargaining (How much do you reckon a hitman costs?👀)
Depression (How am I still dealing with this punk?😞)
Acceptance (I accept you’re a cunt and always will be!🖕🏾)
May 8th – 14th was Mental Health Awareness Week and I was fortunate enough to be aware of mine being rattled. A lot of us go through things physically yet don’t realise the strain on the brain.
There are a number of reasons as to what causes these issues but the most important thing is to deal with it. I recognised I needed to talk to someone, others are unaware and may need a push for their own good. They may just need to step back from it all and talk it over like I did or they may need drugs and therapy – don’t feel a way! A mind is a terrible thing to waste and it’s not just about education. Be it beef or grief, get the help you need as I’m hoping those who were affected by Monday nights tragedy get the help they’ll need. Children are only resilient up to a point and they literally are our future, we need to do our best by them because right now it’s looking like anything goes!
R.I.P to all those who lost their lives this week, especially in such a senseless way in Manchester.
R.I.P Frankie Paul – I’m sure you’re passing the tu-sheng peng up there.
R.I.P Sir Roger Moore – shaken, not stirred
The Mind Matters, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
On Friday I was blessed with the news that I’m still in remission. As you can imagine it’s a relief to know you’ve managed to keep cancer at bay for another year.
You can’t help but reflect on life at these times, especially after the reality check that having it and beating it gives you. I don’t entertain certain things or people anymore as I appreciate the value of time, but there are some things that will always grab my attention and OurStory and the equality of my people is one of them.
This past week too many stories had me shaking my head and feeling a whole range of different emotions, proving yet again how messed up certain types can be.
I’ll start with the lesser evil and those who took the time out of their day to bitch about Jamelia addressing the lack of ethnic diversity in dolls in toy stores over here. I understand this wouldn’t be of interest to many but, in my opinion, she does have a valid point and she chose to talk up about it. I read some of the responses from viewers after she appeared on This Morning and they accused her of being racist and causing race issues that aren’t even there.
Well, if they cared to listen she was actually proving the point that there is an issue if you’re a shade other than White. Yes, there are many other colours that aren’t in the mix either, but if the redheads or Chinese want to make noise it’s their choice and right as it is hers. If you don’t want to hear it #WhyDontYou switch off your TV set and do something less boring instead?
I would suggest the hate has more to do with the fact that she’s not afraid to use her platform and chooses to highlight her experiences and the inequalities that she sees. Being the mother of 2 beautiful Nubian princesses myself I have the utmost respect for her telling it like it is and showing our daughters we have a right to talk up!
It’s a bloody hard, testosterone filled world out there and it’s even harder if you’re a woman and harder still if you’re a Black woman. #RealTalk. We have shown resilience like no other during slavery and before then we were queens; we need to regain our crowns and I applaud Jamelia and all of the other positive Black females out there showing their sistas some love and acknowledgement.
Another woman (by no means a sista), who loves to utilise her platform to the max is Katie Hopkins. She decided it would be appropriate to tweet a poster of a new Netflix series Dear White People with the words; ‘Dear Black people. If your lives matter why do you stab and shoot each other so much’, which is as relevant as me tweeting a picture of Criminal Minds with the words; Dear White people. If your lives matter why are you serial killers and psychos. This woman just loves to run her mouth and stir up shit and there are plenty that lap it up.
Although she removed the tweet she’d already said what she truly feels and believe there are plenty who feel the same way as her, and when you get programs like Inside The Gang airing tonight it’s adding more fuel to her fire. I won’t be watching and would urge you to do the same.
I’m sick and tired of trifling Channel5 and their documentaries on this subject. It’s the same content with different characters. Where are the positive, uplifting and inspiring ones of our youth? Trust me they can be written if they choose to do so but they continue to pump out this crap. If you do watch it I suggest you reread and get back to me on if any of my questions have been answered this time around!
And now we come back to the trigger happy police in good old AmeriKKKa. I was saddened but unsurprised at the outcome that the Baton Rouge officers that took Alton Sterling’s life will not be charged over his death. I’m still trying to comprehend how, even with video evidence, they still find a way to justify taking his life. There is still the opportunity for state authorities to pursue their own criminal charges against Blane Salamoni and Howard Lake ll but I won’t hold my breath!
One officer who did actually get charged over the fatal shooting of another young black teenager is Roy Oliver, who opened fire with a rifle on a car full of teenagers leaving a party. He had said that their car was backing up towards them in an aggressive manner yet their body camera footage shows the vehicle was actually driving AWAY from them.
Now imagine there was no footage. Whose word do you think they’d believe when it came to telling what went down? The new US Attorney General Jeff Sessions has said the Justice Department is committed to holding individual officers accountable when they break the law, yet he also believes too much federal scrutiny of police departments can diminish officers effectiveness and hurt morale. Where do you think his priority is going to lie? #NoJusticeItsJustUs
When I see things like Sulley Muntari being banned for walking off the pitch after being racially abused and the Italian football officials saying that not enough fans had taken part in the abuse to trigger action, you know we’ve still got a hell of a way to go.
10 fans is 10 too many and they should be the ones being reprimanded not the player. They eventually decided to lift the suspension after global condemnation but why did it take GLOBAL condemnation for them to see what’s right? Why is it so easy for others to tell us what is acceptable and how much we can tolerate? How do you expect us to “get over” our past when the struggle still remains very much real and little seems to change? #AnswersOnAPostcardIfYouPlease
Congratulations to the 82 Chibok girls who have finally been freed. Here’s hoping your sisters left behind will be joining you soon.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Pinch, punch, first day of the month and all that jazz. I’m moving on from the babies of last week and fast forwarding to the late teens. In October my eldest daughter will be 18 – supposedly an adult in the eyes of the law.
Despite whether or not I believe she is capable of living an adult life, the law says she can. It got me thinking who wrote these laws we’re suppose to live by and who’s in charge of updating and/or amending them?
I mean, the same law states that it’s legal for a 16 year old to have sex, allowing them the possibility to become responsible for another life, but they still need to be accompanied by an adult to have a cider with a meal if dining out. Now tell me there’s nothing wrong with this picture?
Transitioning from a child to an adult usually involves a heavy dose of hormones and headache. They can jump from one emotion to another in a heartbeat and somehow every issue they face is your fault.
I’m lucky to have not been tested too much by my girls as yet but I’ve had cause to watch them sideways and sometimes wanting to pinch, punch them when words STILL don’t sink in, but after a few more choice words I manage to restrain myself and retreat to my boudoir for some deep breathing and herbal relief.
It’s not really my thing but back in the day you could discipline your child with a slap and it wasn’t an issue, in fact it worked wonders for some. I’m not talking about assault and battery but a tap to show that their behaviour won’t be tolerated.
Nowadays a hand doesn’t even have to twitch before the kid’s talking about child abuse and reaching for the phone to call Childline; which is great in the right circumstances, but not if the “abuse” they are calling about is because mum won’t let you out because you haven’t cleaned your room. Don’t get it twisted, some of these kids can be straight up terrors and will get you shot in the blink of an eye!
A few weeks ago I read about a mother of 4 being tagged because her eldest refuses to stay in school. He has learning difficulties and his specialist school was closed due to lack of funding so he now has to attend a mainstream school that he can’t keep up with and is being bullied in. Despite being bigger and stronger than her she manages to get him there but he subsequently leaves.
She has asked the school for help and asked for him to be moved to another school and had no joy with either. She’s done all she can and has 3 other children to deal with (who have perfect attendance) and yet the powers that be’s answer to her problem is to tag HER because she can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink. Tell me who and how that is helping please? And what message is that sending out to her son apart from him being able to do what he likes whilst mum faces the repercussions?
As parents the majority of us try to do the best by our children and steer them in the right direction, which isn’t easy when you’ve got a government that has helped to create Generation Effed and is happy to leave them by the wayside and blame you for not dealing with the fallout.
We can only try our hardest and hope and pray they emerge as well rounded adults. There are a lot of factors that go into making them what they are and we can be held responsible for some but not all. We brought them into the world and they will always be our babies, but they will ultimately grow up and make their own choices and mistakes.
Personally I believe it’s nature that determines the type of person we will become rather than nurture, although it plays a part. A saint and a sociopath can have the exact same loving upbringing yet travel down very different paths so don’t be too hard on yourselves parents – with all the obstacles we face, we’ve done well to get them this far! #RealTalk
Congratulations Anthony Joshua – I can’t stand boxing but applaud your achievements.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
God Bless The Child, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
What a week the world has witnessed! Waaayyyy too many topics up for discussion and unfortunately the majority of it is highly depressing and I don’t have the energy to attempt to decipher it. One story in particular gave me food for thought though, especially as it was my daughters 15th birthday on Saturday.
Being a parent was a choice I made knowing it wasn’t going to be easy, but you never really know how hard something is until you’re in the thick of it. Thankfully, I have so far been able to handle (just about!) what was bestowed upon me twice. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for many, some through no fault of their own, but others choosing to handle things in ways I will never understand.
I don’t remember giving birth to my daughter. Some may say that’s a good thing but for me, not so much. It wasn’t that I was high on drugs or so zoned out it became some sort of surreal experience, and I will explain fully another day, but the outcome was completely losing all memory of having her and being introduced to this little red-skinned cutie two weeks after having her and not instantly knowing she was mine!🙈
In fairness to myself, her sister was darker when she was born so I was expecting to see the same ok!! Jokes aside, I’m not sure if it was nature or nurture that kicked in but it took no time at all to bond with her. She was mine and I loved her. The fact that she was as chilled as you like was an added bonus but even if she wasn’t (take a bow firstborn!), it wouldn’t have mattered, she’s a baby I created – totally helpless, dependent and my responsibility. I wasn’t about to, or would ever intentionally, let anything bad happen to her and 15 years later things ain’t changing!
I know hate is a strong word but it doesn’t even come close to what I feel about adults that choose to abuse babies and/or children. I’ve recently had the pleasure of cuddling a couple of newborns and it makes my blood run cold that some could even think about causing something so tiny and precious harm. There are no excuses in my eyes and I was utterly disgusted at a story I read about an abhorrent couple named Jeffrey Wiltshire and Rosalin Baker.
They staged the death of their 16 week old daughter Imani, and made it appear she had fallen ill on a bus, knowing the poor child was already dead. By all accounts they are drug addicts, with 52 year old Wiltshire being the “father” of 25 children. He insisted he’s not a life taker, he’s a baby maker. Is that so? Well this baby maker left his daughter with 40 rib fractures, a broken wrist and terrible head injuries so I beg to differ. I can’t even imagine how you manage to fracture a 16 week old baby’s ribs 40 times let alone the rest.
How could they do it? Why? I get that a teenager might push you to the point of wanting to do damage sometimes but what could a baby have done to warrant all of that hurt and pain? Why couldn’t they give her up if they didn’t want her? I’ve got 21 questions and then some but all I know is I’m hoping that there is a special place in Hell for those two and their like and Imani’s soul finds the love that was missing on Earth.
If for whatever reason you can’t love the child you were blessed with do them a favour and find someone that will because they didn’t ask to be here. I’m not going to glamorise parenthood as the real deal parents will know it’s a bloody hard job but it can be so rewarding…(eventually) for some! You may not see it or feel it at first but the rewards come in many different ways.
Some people simply aren’t cut out to do the job but there are plenty of people out there who would happily do it for them if given a chance. Without trying to offend anyone religiously or otherwise, there are options if you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy or a baby/child you cannot handle.
I don’t believe in abortion as a form of contraception but I do believe women should have the choice, especially if the pregnancy is the result of rape. If the pressure is too much after you’ve given birth, seek help! Ok, I said I’m not trying to offend but I’m straight up going to now. There are certain religions that will do you down for having an abortion, being unmarried or marrying out of their comfort zone, but turn a blind eye to the abuse and murder of children because their abusers wear cassocks and habits.
They will tell you how it’s unnatural and perverted for two men or two women to raise a child whilst fiddling the choirboys/girls on the side; but that’s not perverted at all!
For me parents are people who can provide love, safety and a sense of stability. I would rather a child be loved by unconventional parents than abused by the ‘norm’. I’ve heard stories of single people being turned down for adoption or fostering with the only reason being they are on their own. Why?
Isn’t it better for them to have the love of one than none? Imani had both parents and look what happened to her. I’ve said it before; just because you can make a baby it doesn’t make you a model mum or dad, and just because you can’t have one naturally it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be one. Here’s hoping the world wakes up some time soon.
R.I.P Ugo Ehiogu, Germaine Mason and all those who have lost their lives this week.
I Got You Babe, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Well!! It’s been a week of ups, downs and eye openers so no long thing today as I’m shattered!
A few highlights of the week have included paying my respects at a funeral, the day after that congratulating and celebrating the birth of a new princess to the family and the day after that I thought April Fools Day had come early, only to realise it wasn’t a prank but the joke is well and truly on them!
On Tuesday I attended the funeral of an old school friend. I didn’t see him that often but when we did bump into each other, no matter how fleeting the time, I was always greeted with a smile and he just had a good vibe about him.
I saw him two weeks before he died and as usual hailed him up with him reciprocating and flashing his gold teeth. Now there’s a lot of speculation as to events that lead up to his death but we will never know the full story and I’m not about to add to it. Life has a way of throwing shit at us, and until we’re in a particular situation ourselves we don’t know how we’ll handle it so I try hard not to judge. Instead I choose to remember the gentle giant that loved his dogs and gave me jokes back in the day, and I’m glad that so many others came to celebrate his life too.
I attended the funeral with a cousin who was due to give birth in 8 days. The last thing I said to her on that day was, “Ooh, any day now really, Tash. Next time I see you, you’ll be a mummy!” Little did we know, bubba had no intention of cooking for another week and put in an appearance the day after!
It just goes to show that we can plan things and hope they turn out the way we would like, but time waits for no man and will show you who’s really in charge! #RealTalk
That brings me to Thursday and the realisation that some people are in the wrong profession and should be writing comedy because they’ve got jokes for days!
Although I may have thought time can’t come quick enough for some things to happen it’s actually proved to me it’s because it was giving others the chance to gather enough rope to hang themselves.
I can’t divulge any details yet but hang tight, I’ve got a doozie coming real soon. Remember Sticks And Stones. (Part 1)?, well Hurricane Dawn has been gathering force since then and you’d better believe for some there will be no peace in the eye of this storm. Folk need to get comfy in the bed they’ve made – like I’m about to get comfy in mine!
Celebrate life for real people. Tomorrow is never promised.
R.I.P David, Darcus Howe and all those who have been laid to rest or passed away this week.
Congratulations Natasha on the birth of Princess Tula. Can’t wait for a snuggle!
Count Your Blessings, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I’m sure the majority of you are as upset and disgusted as I am at the events that occurred at Westminster on Wednesday. I’d prefer not to give the perpetrator too much attention, as his actions alone say enough about him to know he is a sick and twisted individual.
For those who believe everything the media tells you, they gave at least 2 examples of why you shouldn’t. The first being the fact that one channel had already aired an announcement from the anti ISIS department BEFORE there was any indication it was a terrorist act performed by them.
You can see the presenters realising their mistake and urgently trying to cut the footage but sorry mate, it was too late. Another channel then went ahead and named a hate preacher who is still in prison as the attacker. I’m presuming the ‘Muslim beard’ threw them – you know, that sure sign that you’re a terrorist.
What the fuck happened to checking your sources and reporting fact not fiction? But I guess when the agenda is to cause hype and hysteria it doesn’t really matter does it? Some will feel the media were justified in speculating as ISIS have apparently taken credit for what happened, but has it ever occurred to them that they would take the credit regardless? I doubt they’d even heard of him but it all adds to their supposed glory and the mediaagghh and tell-lie-vision scoop it up and feed it to us.
Being truthful, when I first heard about it I did say to myself please don’t let him be a Black man. I know I wasn’t alone in my thinking but I want to clarify why I thought that. It’s not a shame and embarrassment thing – I’m aware terrorists/crazy folk come in all shapes, sizes, colours and creeds – but there are way too many bigots and ignoramuses to contend with already and as expected those and more came crawling out of the woodwork spewing their poisonous rhetoric.
It’s not that I wasn’t expecting that to happen or I’m surprised by it, I’m just completely and utterly sick and tired of it. It’s the same old song they all sing whenever something like this happens; if you’re Black, brown or Muslim we’re the cause of it all and shouldn’t be here in the first place yada, yada, yada. These are the same type of people who believe they are superior because they are white and they don’t have any terrorists in their camp – they’re simply misunderstood or mentally challenged.
The amount of bullshit I’ve seen and read from small minded imbeciles beggars belief.
The icing on the cake was a picture of a young Muslim woman with a phone in hand walking past a victim with people gathered around. This picture had to have been taken minutes after events took place and I very much doubt she had a clue as to what had actually happened.
If you care to look closely enough you could see she was clearly distressed by the scene as she had a hand to her face. Any rational thinking person would come to that same conclusion but unfortunately there are a lot of highly irrational racists that circulated the picture of that poor woman describing her as heartless and insensitive, making assumptions and accusations.
You’d think she was the one who’d committed the crime, yet when you compare it to other pictures of other victims and the passers by there were no in depth discussions about their apparent lack of compassion, but none of those were wearing a hijab so…
The person who caused the carnage is the one to blame, not a beard, a hijab, being black or a Muslim. Extremists and terrorists are in a class of their own – don’t add the innocent into the mix as well. Instead of focusing on hate and division our thoughts should be with the victims who got caught up in this madness and on working together to show them we’re not about to let them win.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we don’t have anything to worry about, regardless of if you believe it’s all a set up and conspiracy it’s still a scary thought and there’s no denying that it ends with everyday, blameless people getting hurt or killed.
This Mother’s Day spare a thought for the children of Aysha Frade and all of the innocent mothers and children around the world who will have a hard time on days like today due to the madness of religion and war. If you’re fortunate enough to have your mum still around and she’s worthy of the title (there are many who aren’t) make sure you treat her right not just today but everyday – she gave you life, it’s the least you could do.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Speedy recovery to those injured on Wednesday.
Happy Mother’s Day, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
So this week has been as full of ish as last week – more so if I’m completely honest. It straight up had me frustrated the way some people operate and had me wondering when is karma going to put in a long awaited appearance.
But then, as only wise words and music can do, Mr Robert Nesta Marley hit the nail on the head with some conscious lyrics. He told me to Get Up, Stand Up and Don’t Give Up The Fight! Too many things to relate to in the song, but one particular line that stood out was, “You can fool some people sometimes but you can’t fool all the people all the time.” #TellThemAgainBob🎤
I don’t want to come across as if I’m a malicious person because I’m truly not, but I believe that you should treat others as you would want to be treated, so if you choose to conduct yourself in a devilish manner I won’t be shedding any tears if/when you get a dose of your own medicine, and I may well crack a little smile like I did today when I read that an example of Britain’s finest, Pc Joshua Savage (by name and nature), has been charged with threatening behaviour, assault, criminal damage and possession of a bladed article. This all came about when Leon Fontana was pulled over in a case of mistaken identity whilst driving through Camden.
Pc Savage switched and went flip mode resulting in him trying to cut through a smashed windscreen with a penknife, such was his rage to get Mr Fontana out of the car. It needs to be seen to be believed, and I’m just glad he had the sense to film it as if he’d tried to tell you the story without the proof you’d say he was telling porkies! Justice hasn’t been fully served, he’s yet to be sentenced and there’s no guessing at what that outcome will be (🙄) but I’ll relish in the small victory all the same.
A way to help aid karma along is to play someone at their own game and kill them at it. T.I did that magnificently when he responded to President Trump’s twitter rant about Snoop Dogg’s new video, portraying Donald as a clown in the Clown House, and Snoop shooting him with a clown gun where a BANG! banner falls in place of a bullet.
Controversial yes, most definitely, but it’s a spot on analogy in my opinion. Naturally Trump had something to say and responded with this; Can you imagine what the outcry would be if @snoopdogg, failing career and all, had aimed and fired the gun at President Obama? Jail time!
Really Trump? I think not! Obama had more than his fair share of haters out there with effigies of him hanging from trees as a taster yet, unlike you, chose to spend his time and focus on more important issues – like running a country. KMT!
T.I hit back with this:
“@snoopdogg is a Fuckin Legend u Fucking Tangerine Tanned Muskrat scrotum skin, Lacefront Possum fur Wig wearing, Alternative fact, Atomic Dog diarrhea face ass man!!!! Leave our legends names out ya fuckin old ass puppy piss smelling ass mouth & continue to focus on dividing minorities, building barriers, alienating immigrants, & fuckin this country up like u been doin…. #UWannaBeDictator #PresidentialLevelFuckBoy.”
Now say what you mean T.I, don’t hold back!
All the above made me smile and remember that when all is said and done, no matter who you are or what position of power you may hold you’re still a human being and not one of us are without some flaw. Your integrity can be judged by the masses as it is something we all share no matter what your position may be.
Understand not everyone will enable you because of your supposed status. Some of us smell the shit and see the light and are not afraid to let you know. That’s a *SURT!
Congratulations Lydia Simmons on having a home development named in your honour. Thankh you for representing as a strong, Black female role model for Slough and the first ever Black female mayor in the U.K, bringing positive vibes for all of theses years and hopefully many more to come, We salute you!
R.I.P Chuck Berry and all those who have lost their lives this week.
*Straight Up Real Talk
Don’t Give Up The Fight, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
⚠️Warning: There’s strong language from the start. If you are easily offended you may want to allow this one!
Now I don’t want to bring a negative vibe, and to be fair this week hasn’t been all bad, but have you ever had one where you’ve dealt with or heard the most eye twitching, head shaking, brain numbing, frustrating, teeth gritting, blood boiling, deep breath inducing, would-be-funny-if-it-wasn’t-so-sad FUCKERY? I have, and coming from fellow brothers and sisters it’s quite disheartening. And as I’m the sharing type, I’ll give you a whiff of the shit I’ve happened across along my merry way.
Firstly I’m going to address the words of Ben Carson, who is the current US Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under the Trump administration. Now this man is a legend in his own right.
Before losing his mind he was the Director of Paediatric Neurosurgery from 1984 until his retirement in 2013 and performed some truly amazing and pioneering surgeries in his time, including the only successful separation of conjoined twins joined at the back of the head. Phenomenal! This man has worked wonders and has more accolades than you can shake a stick at which deserves a big WOW, and he’s still performing wonders by managing to prove how highly intelligent people can function whilst suffering from severe brain damage.
Mr Carson gave a speech on Monday which included this gem; “There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”
Really Ben? Really!? I’d hazard a guess that wasn’t the kind of dreams they were having whilst being forcibly taken from their homeland and shackled in the bottom of a ship, and if they were, it wasn’t that land of prosperity and happiness they wanted to see their family thrive in. Samuel L. Jackson summed it up neatly in one tweet! I know his use of the word motherf****r is a harsh one but it derives from a time where Mr Carson’s mind seems to have lapsed back to.
I heard there was a new superbug called the DJT45 Virus that’s infecting the brains of the susceptible and it has a whole host of nasty side effects – it’s possible he’s caught a dose. Or maybe he went one surgery too far and experimented on himself with disastrous results – his grey matter fading to a funky shade of off white, causing severe damage to the realness neurone. Shit can happen!
Either way, what was he thinking? How can he seriously compare the two? (They were both rhetorical questions by the way). He’s shown us what he is; a White House N****r plain and simple. He’s backtracked on what he’s said now but with little effect. The damage had already been done from the time he decided it would be appropriate to air that fuckery in the first place. #TakeTenBenAndLie Down
Moving swiftly on, I watched a 10 minute video that in itself evoked all the emotions in the first paragraph. It was of two men (well, one man and one wasteman) discussing what was happening on the streets today. The wasteman chose to keep his face hidden and pixelated for anonymity, though he’s apparently friends with the interviewer and they didn’t do anything to disguise his voice so if you’re from their “ends” I’m sure you’ll know who he is.
In all honesty just listening to him speak made me want to punch that cunt in the throat. Anyway, I’ve digressed from my main point which is it was a very candid discussion with this “man” explaining how things work. The first thing I noticed was how he got quite defensive when described as a roadman. He made it clear he’s not a roadman fam! He gets the youth to move the food (drugs) so he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty, yet it’s ok for him to have our youth doing his dirty work for him. But what does it matter, they’re getting paid right?
He purposely targets and encourages vulnerable children, especially those with no father figures in their lives, with a flash of the cash and a promise they’ll be living large and don’t have to work a £7.20 pittance of a job. He tells it straight – they are easy targets and a great catch when you get them young. He is the role model they’re looking up to.
In this day and age where material things mean more than anything the temptation is mighty real for a lot of them out there and he’s the modern day Fagin, sowing the seeds in impressionable young minds. Yet, when asked about his own children he was adamant that they would never be a part of that life, never get trapped.
He went as far as pulling what I think was a bullet out of his pocket to reiterate the lengths he would go to to protect them but he continued to glamourise the life and suck other people’s children in. If it’s so great, why wouldn’t he want it for his own flesh and blood? Hypocrisy much?
He touched on risks and consequences but they were only mentioned in regards to what would happen should someone lose his goods or try to swindle him and very little to do with the hard time they’d be doing should they get caught, in fact he stated that he’s not about going to jail which is why he encourages the youngers to do his bidding.
He blatantly mocked the interviewers good intentions and told him he could send out all the positive vibes he wants – they ain’t listening! The legitimate life is not the one that is going to get them the things they want. He’s making the most of the situation because that’s life and the way of the street. He made a good point on some of the wotless mothers out there who know what their child is doing, but as long as they’re bringing home that paper, it’s all good! No bitch, it’s not!
But then a lot of those mothers were babies having babies with not a lick of common sense so it’s inevitable that they’d think that way. Thankfully his words were not enough to put his friend off, and he eventually became so disgusted with their talk that he cut it short stating that he would continue to try and get through to the youths, which brings me to my conclusion on this subject.
I had a discussion recently about what they should be teaching our kids in school. I said that real life skills and knowledge should be on the curriculum where as my friend said it should be taught at home. My point is just because people become parents it doesn’t automatically mean they have what it takes to raise a child and teach them how to survive in the real world. Not all are cut out for the role or deserve the title and a lot of them are less mature than their bloody kids!
School is where you go to learn so teach them things that will help them once they pass the school gates. I would love to see people like the interviewer go into schools armed with things like the video and break it down to the kids – the same way the wasteman recruits them when they’re young, they need to know to watch out for these predators from young too.
Play the footage, pause it and make them understand each statement and that matey isn’t working in your best interest but his. As much as he seems like a father figure he wouldn’t have his own son or daughter living the life he wants you to so how has he got you? #RealTalkIsTheKey
The last waft of fuckery falls under the unnecessary bracket! Understand I am a superwoman of sorts, but I admit I am lacking in certain abilities – like flying and mind reading. It has come to light recently that I’ve upset a friend because of my inability to do the latter.
Apparently I should automatically know what they are thinking or how they are feeling and make them my priority despite what is happening in my life or their inability to be adult enough to tell me to my face or respond to communications. I can only imagine how I’m being portrayed by said friend as they can be quite a character to say the least, but at 42 I know my worth and am well over playground antics.
I have more than enough sincere and genuine friends in my life to have me begging anyone’s friendship so move and go ‘long with your petty fuckery, I’ve got bigger and more important fish to fry!
Rant over! Over and out!!
R.I.P to ally hose who have lost their lives this week.
Big belated love to all of the women of the world for Women’s Day!
Allow The Fuckery, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
After Monday nights Panorama: Life in Immigration Town was aired I felt the need to write this. Considering I’m a 42 year old, Black woman of immigrant parents who was born in Slough, raised in Chalvey and whose brother stood for UKIP for the same place, I can add my thoughts to the mix!
Firstly my own personal opinion on immigration is this; It’s a great thing and I love it. It’s nice to know you don’t have to stay in your one place of birth and can soak up new experiences elsewhere, or seek refuge should your sanctuary be destroyed through no fault of your own.
I’d like to think that should things go wrong (Brexodus) and I’m forced to flee my home I’d be welcomed with a sense of understanding and sympathy for my plight and a little, (or a lot) of love and humanity from others…a girl can dream can’t she?
Fortunately I’m awake enough to know that should that situation ever arise not all will be welcoming me with open arms…Hell, not all are welcoming me with open arms here in my hometown let alone elsewhere, but that’s a part of life. Some folk ain’t ever gon’ change and are ready to dislike you on looks alone which is their prerogative, but some things can be helped to curb the distaste.
Whether you choose or have to move to another country you should respect that country’s beliefs and traditions, which is more than doable without encroaching on your own beliefs.
If you can’t, then maybe you should find somewhere else to live. If you’re not prepared to work or contribute to that country in some way and only want to bleed their resources drier than they already are, then you should do one too.
That couldn’t be said of many immigrants when I was younger as they were, and the majority now still are, some of the hardest working people out there, but let’s not get it twisted, there are A LOT blatantly taking the piss and they need to be addressed.
Those who come over and abide by the rules and work to earn their keep have a right to live a life too. You can’t expect them to not use any resources. Naturally they’ll need to be housed, they’ll get ill and their children will need to be educated but somebody’s not doing the mathematics, and you don’t have to be Katherine Johnson to work it out! So who’s to blame? For me there is only one collective responsible and that’s the government. Side eye matey all you want but don’t hate the player hate the game!
When I was growing up the most predominant ethnic minority in Slough were Asians followed by West Indians. I’m of an age where I remember when White people use to run a good few shops in Chalvey and you could get most things from a trip down the road.
By my early teens you could notice the change more, as in not many, if any, White people running shops. It used to remind me a bit of Eastenders – The Foresters Arms being The Queen Vic, the launderette, chippy, I think the only thing missing was the market!, (but we had Ali’s and Jabbles so we were ok!)
You knew your neighbours and there was a sense of community between all races. That’s not to say there was never any racial tension every now and then but that’s to be expected – we live in the real world not a soap! The Foresters was one of four pubs, there was the Premier club (Treetops), working men’s club, the play centre, parks and Koolers bar for the youths – basically there were enough things, whatever age you were, to relieve some tension.
When you remove the stress relievers and add more people you get more tension which in turn breeds more hate. I’m not saying a pint or a game of pool is the answer to all of our problems, but I know it’d help some. I’m actually surprised they’ve left a piece of greenery and haven’t started building houses on the Rec yet!
I live on the cusp of Chalvey now, but I’m there more than 5 days a week as my mum still lives there. I visit the shops on a regular basis so know exactly what that elder had to say about the Romanians and believe me it’s not about being racist, it’s about being a realist.
If it were ANY group of individuals behaving the way they do I’d have something to say about it – they just happen to be immigrants and I’m not gonna feel a way about saying it or offending people. It’s not labelling, it is what it is.
I’m not saying it’s all of them who cause the disruption but there are a lot and I can imagine how some may feel intimidated by them as they literally stand in a pack as you try to walk around or through them. It’s funny though, if you walk a little further down the road, cut through by the recycling plant and across the fields you’ll never see a scene like the one being witnessed on the daily in Chalvey. But then they’ve got a castle and we’ve got a dump.
I have no problem with immigration – I have a problem with the people who control it…or rather don’t, which I’m sure a lot can relate to. I understand peoples frustrations and fears but there are ways to make your point heard and get your views across without it including racism, hate and/or antisocial behaviour. It should go without saying that if you’re an immigrant yourself UKIP is not the party you should be standing behind, in front of or next to.
To have a family member be that guy is not the one to say the least – I really didn’t have a clue until I saw his face on a flyer and was as shocked, surprised and confused as the rest of the majority of the Black community by his actions – but only for a hot minute. I then remembered who it was I was dealing with and soon realised he has all the attributes of what it takes to be a politician so would fit right in.
He actually had the audacity to accuse ME of making him look like a sellout because I chose to put a post up at the time on Facebook addressing the fact that it was not a family affair, as some had thought, and he stood firmly on his own. I would suggest him plastering his face on the flyer and knocking on people’s doors for votes might have made people think him a sellout but I could be wrong.
Slough’s not the greatest place to live but it’s not the worst and it’s my hometown. I can’t say I’ll live here for life, but it’s where I am right now and it’s given me some great memories. It’s not beyond being a great place, it just needs some love and attention. Lastly I’ve gotta ask where Panorama got their statistics from with the average weekly wage being £558!? Where was this poll taken? Which part? Whose wage? After tax? Can I get a job please?
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Home Is Where The Heart Is, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
It’s 8.27pm and I have just sat down after clearing up the kitchen, debating what this weeks topic would be about, something that I never have a problem with usually, but with life being life, time kinda slipped away from me and I realised I hadn’t given it a second thought.
A good friend of mine was stood in my front room, braiding my youngest hair and I asked her what I should write about this week. Now at the time there were two Queens and three Princesses up in the room and the elders (myself and friend), were catching jokes from the youth of today! (#Banter – they’ll understand this!😂) My friend suggested I talk about the rude ass youts out there but a much better subject was staring me right in the face.
No long thing as quite frankly I’m tired and I really need to take my contacts out as they’re slightly irritating me and I’ve got floaters moving about, but I wanted to put this good vibe out before the weekend is done completely and a fresh week greets us.
On Friday I was having a bad day with my feet which required me to use my stick. Doris had already stopped me for one day so I thought I’d get out whilst the going’s good – I hear her cousin Ewan is breezing through soon but with a little less oomph thankfully!🌪 Anyway back to my point, on my slow and steady trek into Queensmere I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of people that took the time out to hold a door and give a smile.
It’s something I do myself as standard but I’m sure we’ve all bucked up on one of the few that believe that’s part of your job description and mosey on through without acknowledging the gesture. I may have mentioned it before but I’m known to shout “YOU’RE WELCOME!”, just to clarify it didn’t open itself…ok drifting again, but seriously, it doesn’t matter how broke you are MANNERS DON’T COST A THING!…sorry, it had to be said, back to it now!
This weekend I’ve had kindness from strangers, a random chat with a fellow shopper, bumping into a few old faces (pleasant ones), catching up with a couple of the ladies yesterday whilst being tortured by 50 Shades Darker – and not in the good way. 50 Shades Drier is more like it, but it did give us something to laugh about.
That brings us to now, and my friend Nasheta having left just over an hour ago after what was suppose to be an hour visit at 3.30pm. I won’t bore you with the ins and outs, but it reminded me of how your life can be touched by the people in it and those who choose to show love, kindness and humanity – not because they’re after something, but simply because they care enough to do so.
The point is everyday people can affect your life, and every day people can affect your life, and when it’s with positive vibes you can’t help but want to pass them on. For every little and big gesture shown to me this week I am truly thankful and appreciative. It doesn’t go unnoticed and it’s put me in the right mindset for the week ahead. No Monday blues or Wednesday humpday but a Friday feeling all week long! (Here’s hoping anyway!)
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Nasheta, I got you!!
Pay It Forward, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I’m glad we’re all different and have our own views, beliefs and opinions, (I know I’ve said it before, just wanted to reiterate!). I like sharing mine with you and appreciate others wanting to do the same, especially with the way the world is today, but some people’s opinions leave me baffled as to whether they actually believe their talk or if it’s just the easier option to facing reality.
If you’re unaware all Hell broke loose in Paris over two weeks ago after a Black 22 year old youth worker, known only as Theo, was arrested by four police officers, racially abused, spat at, beaten and “allegedly” sodomised. I’m suppose to use the word “allegedly” because this is the police we’re dealing with so naturally there are many logical explanations as to how a baton can get thrust up your back passage causing you to require surgery whilst four officers are out performing their protective duties.
I won’t even try to throw out a plausible scenario because I can’t, I’ll leave it to the “professionals”, but in my opinion it is what it is – a disgusting, deplorable act of violence and discrimination by racist police. No matter how they try to spin it the math will never add up and you’ll find it impossible to convince me of anything different.
It was one woman’s response to a post regarding the above that prompted me to write about this. She believes in The Law Of Attraction and was adamant everything in life is based on that. Now, I get the basics and even agree with it; we have the ability to attract things in our life that we focus on. If it’s negativity then expect it back and if it’s love, light, peace and prosperity then that’s what you can/should expect in return also.
I understand her thinking but the same rule cannot be applied for everything – it can only go so far for some, which was a point being made to her that she seemed to completely miss, so I’m throwing it out there to see if any other thinkers like her can explain it to me as I really don’t get how it can be condoned. I’ve heard it said by a few people but yet to hear a credible answer. It usually ends in “You don’t get it.”, or “It goes deeper than that!”. I’m giving you the time to enlighten me, I beg you please!
How does The Law Of Attraction apply when the law is attracted to doing you damage? How does it work when you’re throwing out that positive energy but receiving the negative back because of something you can’t change about yourself and shouldn’t have to? What LOA is it that sends rapists, racists, paedophiles and murderers to their victims? How do the victims, especially children, attract that kind of attention? To me it seems like a cop out so I’ll be eagerly awaiting your response to set me straight!
On a lighter note my fiancé and myself took the girls to see Hidden Figures yesterday and we loved every minute of it. A brilliant example of how determination, perseverance and understanding can lead the way forward. Some would say the LOA was in play here too but what was also evident in the film is that it wasn’t until the majority woke up to what the minority could achieve given a fair chance did great things happen!
1961 or 2017 – the same rule applies!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Shine Your Light, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit this week!….well I say lighten – it’s a joke to some but being a sufferer I know it’s not so funny. It’s a battle myself and many others have to live with on a daily basis. By todays headlines it’s actually being classed as a brain abnormality, which it could well be as I see nothing abnormal in the reactions it provokes. I’m talking about Misophonia.
What the hell is that you wonder, we’ll let me break it down for you. It’s people who cannot bear certain sounds, which in itself sounds ridiculous but trust me, it’s a thing! I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve wanted to throat punch someone for the ungodly and downright sickening experience of having to watch and hear them eat. Mouth open and…(OMG I can feel my heart rate intensifying and my right eye twitching just thinking about it), THE NOISES!! Like friggin’ pigs at a trough BUT THEY’RE HUMANS…supposedly!
I get some foods are noisy and you can’t avoid making a sound whilst eating them, but when you add your own sound effects on top of that you’re taking things to a whole new level. The slurping, clapping, smacking of lips alongside the moist squishy sounds incorporated with the view of the food being churned honestly makes me want to fuck you up – especially if I’m eating at the same time!! And then you get the ones who want to add to the mix and TALK to you too.✋🏾😷🤢😤😡😢
I actually know people who won’t say shit whilst putting the food on the fork but got plenty to say when their mouth is full. Why!?!? So on top of you freaking me out and pissing me off I have to avoid your missiles too!? Thanks, but sharing ain’t caring in this instance.
Obviously I can’t react in the way I would like to and repeatedly batter them or jook them in the eye with their fork so, wherever possible, I make efforts to remove myself from the offender whilst gritting my teeth, throwing them daggers and actively wishing they choke – just a little! Harsh I know but real talk all the same.
Misophonia isn’t just about food related noises, it can be any noise that triggers it in people; breathing, nails on a chalkboard, certain materials rubbing against another, even babies crying etc. Coming a close second to the eaters for me are, wait for it….balloons.
Again, I know it sounds ridiculous but I kid you not, one of the most truly disturbing times I’ve ever had is at a TGI Fridays. It put me right off my Jack Daniels shrimp I tell ya! It was like every child in there had a birthday – ok, maybe not every child but 4 at least, meaning 4 different sets of kids, and what did they do? Come out singing their ‘Happy, Happy Birthday’ ditty and make fucking balloon animals for every bastard one of them!
I was seriously traumatised. I felt physically sick and the tears were welling up. I felt hot and cold and had to put my headphones in and blast my music, cover my ears on top of that and rock gently whilst the rest of my family watched me with side eye as I told them to eat up, grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
It’s not even about them popping – it’s the sounds they make when they’re being handled – even the Almighty knows, it hits my soul and not in a good way. The struggle is real people! Believe that!
You may think you’re a bit weird sometimes but when you check it you’ve actually got more in common with most than you think. We all have our quirks and things that do our heads in or rub us up the wrong way. Some of it may seem irrational to others but we know different.
I realise I probably shouldn’t have given you that ammunition to use against me, but if any of you try it I will stab you safe in the knowledge it’s now been scientifically acknowledged as me having a brain abnormality and possibly get away with it! #JustSaying.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Hush Up, Stay Blessed and #CelebrateLife
Yes, I’m aware it’s the day AmeriKKKa officially confirms the madness but I really ain’t got time for that! I’ll be unwittingly seeing more than enough of Trumps face in the media over the next four years without me spending my precious time purposely tuning in.
There’s nothing about it I want to see and the fear I had of an assassination when Obama took the stage is most definitely not present in this case! FAR, FAR FROM IT!!
I’d rather discuss something else that’s happening today. It’s the UK release date of The Birth Of A Nation. I doubt that you’ve heard much about it and I don’t have to think long and hard as to why! It’s the story of Nat Turner, a slave preacher who led a two day rebellion of fellow slaves and free men in 1831.
They rolled through plantations freeing slaves and recruiting others and killed over 60 white men, women and children in the process before being captured and dealt with accordingly. And why would you want to watch it Dawn? I imagine it’s not the most comfortable viewing but, well, neither is Roots or 12 Years A Slave, but I guess it’s always more palatable to watch a Black man of that time suffer and/or die as it’s what we’re use to seeing right?
The fact is, as you can imagine, when you’re treated like a dog for so long one day you’ll bite back. For the majority of us we were tolerant, patient and full of the belief that better days gon’ come….for the rest they weren’t willing to wait for their freedom and took a stand.
I’m not saying I agree with the slaughter but I can understand the horrors they’d lived through, witnessing their own women and children being used, abused, tortured, raped, sold and murdered for years – that has to have a psychological impact without a doubt. It’s not an excuse for it, but it’s a very good reason and incite into the desperation they must have experienced to go to those levels. #RealTalk.
Funnily enough, this film didn’t do so well in AmeriKKKa. The first reason is in the title itself. Written and directed by Nate Parker, he chose the title from a 1915 film of the same name (although it was originally known as The Clansman), a 3 hour long film that basically glorifies and makes heroes of the Ku Klux Klan and is credited as being inspiration for their second era.
Ironically, it was also the first AmeriKKKan motion picture to be screened at the White House. Yeh…just let that sink in for a min! No doubt Donald’s looking to dust off the reel for a hit of nostalgia at the after party tonight. Ahhhhh, the good old days! #LetsMakeAmeriKKKaGrateAgain
Another reason for it taking a hit was the fact that back in 1999 Nate Parker was accused and found not guilty of rape. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a heinous act to say the least, but he was put on trial and cleared. He has never shied away from it and has always maintained his innocence but that makes very little difference to some. The Birth Of A Nation birthed a lot more hate than anything else.
You see the girl in question was a White girl – which really should make no difference at all – but in 2016 AmeriKKKa, with tensions high and Trump rallying the White Walkers, it was enough to get the hate train rolling despite it being some 17 years earlier that he was accused and acquitted. That, added to the insolence of using the name of a “classic” to virtually blacken its content – OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Well…they would if they could, but they couldn’t, so they did the next best thing; lock it and knock it down – or at least try. Most media outlets will tell you it’s disappointing and not worth watching. Certain cinemas in AmeriKKKa told customers it was sold out and suggested other films knowing full well it wasn’t, therefore making it look like there was very little interest in it and it was classed as a box office disaster. Job done!
Reality bites sometimes but it is what it is and the Nat Turner story was a reality. Over the years they’ve portrayed all the different sides to slavery – why the big problem with this one? Because 60 Whites died?
How about you compare it to the thousands of Black people that died in slavery over the centuries or even the 200 that died in retaliation for the revolt itself – the majority of whom had nothing to do with it – AND the fact they tightened the laws after that to hold us down even further.
I don’t know why I’m asking because to those types there is no comparison and never will be because no matter who we are or what we do, to them being White Trumps all – they are the fine china to our disposable plates.
It may well be a shit film but I’ll judge that for myself and I encourage you to do the same.
R.I.P to those being laid to rest today and to those who have lost their lives this week
Condolences to AmeriKKKa on this sad and sorry day.
Fasten Your Seat-belts, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Yep, we’re going back to Black this week! There are 3 main reasons for me doing so. Firstly, the absolutely disgusting and sickening event of four Black teenagers arrested in Chicago for kidnapping and torturing a mentally ill white man. Words almost (but not quite!) fail me as to what the Hell they were doing – or smoking – because that’s some next level kind of madness.
This should never, under any circumstances have ever occurred, but I’m glad they filmed it and put it out there as absolute proof that they were responsible for those sick and twisted actions. Things like this go to undo the good the rest of us are trying to do, causes more hate and more watching us sideways. There are no excuses and it is what it is, but it isn’t all of us that think that way or would use those actions.
I have no doubt that they will be dealt with swiftly and bang to rights in no time at all – and rightly so. You commit a crime, especially one like kidnap and torture, you most definitely deserve to do the time! Caught on camera too!?! Goodnight sweetheart, it’s time to put your head down.
My heart honestly goes out to the victim and I hope that he gets all the help he needs to recover. It’s not nice being the victim of any crime when you’re fully functioning let alone mentally ill and chosen simply for the colour of your skin.
I highly applaud the efforts of the police in dealing with things as simply and effortlessly as they did; job well done. It’s nice to have faith in a system that can decipher right from wrong and put the bad guys away….the ones that count to them anyway, and yeh, I’m going there!
Unless you are totally oblivious to what’s happening in the real world it cannot have escaped your notice the flaws in the justice system when it comes to addressing black people.
For the majority of us the majority of the time, we have already committed the crime of being Black whilst breathing so innocent or not, we already have a strike against us. Why is it so hard to get a conviction when the colours are reversed and there is clear evidence of wrongdoing? Not so swift then is it?
I read a few comments made by some white people when it happened and saw what I expected to see in such a case. A lot of blaming the Black Lives Matter movement and “typical Black people”. I’m not sure where these people are living that that is the typical behaviour of the black people they know, but I’d suggest a move sharpish! I’m sure they’re not generalising at all!
A comment I saw that stuck with me was of one guy saying he doesn’t understand why black people continue to fight a losing battle. He said white people have always had, and will always have the power and it’s been that way throughout time so we should know our place by now and accept we’ll always be the underdogs.
Now he may well have been a troll for all I know but I have no doubt there are many that believe in that kind of thinking. He’s right though, it is evident as he stated that that has been the case for a mighty long time, but in that same vein he should know by now that WE AIN’T QUITTERS! #RealTalk.
We’ll always be that itch you can’t quite scratch; you know that type that gets right under your skin….
Moving on to the second thing that caught my attention and made me happy and sad at the same time; the sentencing of Dylann Roof. For those who’ve forgotten who he is, he’s the unbelievable piece of work from South Carolina, who after being welcomed with open arms into the oldest Black church in the South, and sitting with them for 45 minutes, decided to then fire seventy five bullets at them killing nine and injuring three others. You don’t really get much lower than that.
In present times it would not bode well if he had had a soft sentence considering the pampering and pussyfooting around him from arrest to conviction. It’s funny how when it comes to us they can call a spade a spade (pun intended) but when it’s Dylann and his type, they’re just fifty shades of confused.
For me I’m more than happy that the death sentence was given as he’s shown not one iota of remorse throughout it all. I’m glad he gets to suffer for a while contemplating the only joy he has left in his life….what will my last meal be? Fancy a Burger King you sonofabitch!?!
I’m all for an eye for an eye in this case. He took away eighteen, I’ll have his two. I’m hoping this gives the families some kind of peace. There’s no doubt they’d much rather have their loved ones here but at least they don’t have to suffer complete injustice on top of it.
And finally I couldn’t bypass the final speeches of the POTUS and FLOTUS! If you know you know that Presidents are just the puppets on display so I won’t go into the politics but as the people they are. I can say from the heart that as AmeriKKKas first Black President and First Lady you’ve done us more than proud.
I love the way you handled your business with style, dignity, class, grace, humour and compassion with a hint of swagger on the side! You raised two beautiful daughters and the love you have for each other is blinding. Not a whiff of scandal or dodgy stains on people’s clothing – (wait…was that Olivia Pope just leaving?👀) All jokes aside they set a fine example for us all.
They will undoubtedly be missed by many and I have a feeling that in four years time a lot of their haters will be wishing they could turn the clock back, in fact I’m sure it won’t even take that long.
Big up yourselves Brrrrraaappp Obama and Michelle. Did you show them what you’re working with? YES YOU DID!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Well no one can say that 2016 wasn’t an eventful year! Not all great events to say the least, but eventful nonetheless! I’m not going to go over the highs and lows – if you don’t know, you’ll soon get to know about some of them as a lot of the events have far reaching repercussions that will be felt well into the New Year and beyond.
The past 7 days have been a doozy for deaths, especially of celebrities. It just goes to prove as I said a few weeks ago, that it doesn’t matter who you are or what you have; when your time’s up, your time’s up! Yet despite knowing we only have a limited time here that could be cut short at any moment, some people still choose to waste time – which is fine and their prerogative – but don’t attempt to waste mine.
They say everything happens for a reason and there’s a blessing in every lesson. The older I’ve become, the more I believe that it’s true. Some life experiences have the knack of waking you up to reality. Some of us acknowledge this and grow and change; some remain the same. For the growers and changers we understand that not everybody will get it and wonder why we’re not playing the game anymore. Why we don’t respond or rise to certain situations. It’s because we know there’s more to life than fuckery and no matter who they are; friend, family or foe, there’s nothing more important than doing you first.
I don’t know how much time I have left on this Earth but I do know I still have 3 and a half years before the cloud over my head is officially lifted. I try not to think about it too much and let the sun shine through, but was recently reminded that too much stress is fuel for cancer and my body is throwing out warning signs. Some of the stress cannot be avoided but others can and I have made the conscious decision to eliminate unnecessary stress causing shit from my life. Signs are everywhere trust me, we just have to be awake enough to see them and heed them.
I’m not expecting 2017 to bring miracles (as much as I may wish it!) but it will undoubtedly bring change. I have been blessed with some amazing people in my life, most importantly the man who has given me the most – my beautiful (though sometimes challenging!) daughters and 100% unconditional love. I honestly can’t wait to wear my official Queen Wifey crown and live our life. It’ll be stressful no doubt, but it’s the type I can handle. This kind of stress ends with better days and beautiful memories – I can work with that!
A humongous thank you to one and all who’ve taken the time out to read my blogs. I know time is precious and I’m grateful for the minutes you give up and your support. I wish you all good health, wealth, blessings and happiness in 2017. It will get bumpy at times but remember the lows are there so we truly can appreciate the highs. Try to find a positive in every day – even if it’s just that you woke up this morning!
To 2016 I say, Bye Felicia! You’ve been tripping on all kinds of levels and I’ve received your lessons but you’ve overstayed your welcome. Thank you very much for your services but could you now, ever so politely, fuck off! #JustSaying
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week and year. I pray you are resting in peace.
2017, BRING IT COME!!!
Happy New Year, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
No long thing this week. In fact, I was seriously considering just copying and pasting last weeks post. Berlin alone proves humanity still needs a wake up call!
This time of year is supposed to be about peace and goodwill to all wo/mankind, but why do we leave it until a certain time of year to show it? Why is it a seasonal thing?
Shouldn’t it be in effect 24/7? I know it’s not an easy task, some folk are just hard to love for a whole number of reasons, yet still I’ll try, but if I’ve given them a fair chance (#ThreeStrikes) and they keep disappointing, I figure I’ve been fair enough and I’m honestly not about wasting my precious time on the non deserving. My next challenge to myself will be to bring that peace and goodwill vibe all year round and I’m hoping it catches on, you know, like the mannequin challenge, only instead of standing still we start paying it forward. Even if it’s with just a smile to the haters, testers and triers! (Can that be classed as goodwill, ’cause that’s all I’ve got to offer them!?!)
This week I challenged myself to try and do a little extra good each day, no matter how small. So far it’s ranged from dropping change in a charity box to posting a Christmas card to Bradley Lowery, a little boy who is dying of cancer, has 2 months to live and his last wish is to receive thousands and thousands of cards. How sweet and yet heartbreakingly sad is that? It’s amazing how something so small, the tiniest of gestures, can mean the world to someone else. I truly hope he gets his wish.
No matter who we are or what religion we choose to follow or not, we all have it in us to do a bit of good no matter how insignificant it may seem. Today I will be dropping off some tinned goods to an address I will post below to help Slough 4 Syria send urgent humanitarian supplies to those poor people. Again, I know it doesn’t seem much, but I’ll feel good when I’m sat in warmth and comfort today, Christmas Day or any day, knowing that my tin of chickpeas or packet of pasta may have provided sustenance for someone in dire straits and the other little things I have done, and will do, might just help make a difference.
Show a little more love people – we’re all gonna need it real soon, especially people of colour! Whatever shade we may be we need to pull together. For those of you wishing to add a donation to Slough 4 Syria the drop off location is:
Masjid Al Jannah
Stoke Road
Slough
Berkshire
SL2 5AH
23rd December 2pm-6pm
24th December 10am-5pm
25th December 10am-3pm
R.I.P to the Berlin 12 and all those who have lost their lives this week
Share The Love, Stay Blessed and #CelebrateLife
…..Exhale! There’s been a lot of inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth, counting to ten and woosah’s this week! REAL TALK! You know when you’re trying your damnedest to stay positive and appreciate the good around you but with every turn there’s something or someone testing your patience?….it was that time for a while! Again!
I am by no means perfect and I don’t believe that any human being is 100% perfection. I’m not talking about aesthetics but the person as a whole. We all have our flaws, however many, major or minor, there may be. Some of us are more aware of them and try to work on them, others either don’t see them (which happens a lot!) or just couldn’t give a shit. It’s all part and parcel of being a human being. We were placed on this earth knowing the only thing we have in common, without a doubt, is that we all have a certain amount of time here before we die never to return…well…at least not as the same person. We all breathe the same air and see the same sun, moon and stars. We all bleed the same and we’re supposedly the most intelligent species on the planet…hmmm…about that!
I spoke about the subject of humanity in my previous blog Forgive Them Father, a few months back. Since that time there’s been a few things I can look back upon that make me smile and appreciate how great life can be, and even though I know there are good and bad people I’m still struggling to understand and accept all the bad bits.
I have a higher respect for life since 2014. I think it’s a part of being in the Survivors Club. You don’t take time for granted and know that it doesn’t matter if you’re as rich as Crassus or as poor as a church mouse, as black as night or as white as snow, young or old and any other opposites you can form – there’s no discrimination in death. You understand the reality of it and the beauty of life and it’s partly why the past couple of weeks have had me feeling like Leeloo in The Fifth Element. There’s a line where she says, “Everything you create, you use to destroy.” And Korben says, “Yeah, we call it human nature.” Film or not, how on point they were!
After nearly six years of conflict the people of Aleppo are finally catching a break and being allowed to leave in relative peace. I say relative as some were still subjected to gunfire and who really knows how long the peace will last? I’m just relieved that after witnessing the horrors those poor people went through, especially the children, they have been given a reprieve, and hope and pray the peace is maintained, but knowing how us humans can be, I hate to be a pessimist but I can’t see it; and it blows! Am I the only one that’s fed up with the way the world is run? I almost wish a higher power would come down and fix the mess that they created!
You may think I’m joking but I’m deadly serious! Don’t get it me wrong I’m not saying I’m praying for the end of days, death and damnation scenario. I’d much prefer a time out on the naughty step kinda thing but hey, it’s not my call. But before they carry out whatever form of punishment they deem fit, I’d like them to press the pause button on everyone and explain that when they put us here it was with more than enough space and more than enough resources for us to get along. The rest wasn’t in their master plan; they thought that given time we’d figure it out.
They didn’t expect us to turn on each other but embrace and admire the differences between us. They didn’t expect a country to spend millions of dollars on jewels on a Christmas tree whilst millions of people are starving, poverty stricken, sick and dying. That wasn’t the whole point of the story despite what baby Jesus was given. They didn’t expect people to be bombed out of their homes, or used and abused, or tortured and destroyed by something as petty as skin colour or who they choose to love. We didn’t understand that we should respect each other and nature and not the materialistic things we hold the most value in.
Nature is the one gift we were all given to share, (granted some things you could have kept to yourself!🕷), and in our death it continues to survive, yet we’re happy to kill off the planet and not utilise natures remedies to its full potential to fatten our pockets whilst our fellow brethren are dying. “Saving” the planet by recycling whilst allowing the manufacturers to continue producing plastic packaging for us to use that destroys the wildlife yet fining us for not recycling correctly – (yep, it all matters!)
Honestly, when the time comes and they spell it out to us we’ll be kicking ourselves! The conclusion will be, ‘We had it easy – we made it hard!’ #RealTalk.
The world is actually big enough for us all to live in peace. I’m not saying we have to like each other, but there’s enough space for us to live together without the need of hurt and bloodshed. Seriously, what have we become? Brother Marvin, we’re still asking what’s going on! Until the day I’m blessed or cursed with the answer I’ll continue to try to be the best human being I can be. I would love to be able to solve all the worlds problems but I’m not quite there yet!
Wherever possible I will always do my bit to help a cause or support a friend, even if it is just with words, but ultimately I have to do me before I can do you. That may mean that you haven’t been at the forefront of my mind but not that I’ve forgotten you completely. I may well have had bigger and more important issues that I have to deal with that are priority, and if it upsets you that I be so bold to tell you so and set you straight (all said with love), quite frankly, that’s your business. We all have our crosses to bear – trust me I GET IT, but the world doesn’t stop because of it.
Respect the fact it’s not all about you sometimes and ask yourself how much attention you’ve paid to the friendship. This week I’ve had a couple of situations that really got to me for a hot minute but then I had to stop and put myself back in check. I’ve fucked off friend and family alike but oh well. If they’re true they’ll sit back and assess where I was coming from and hopefully understand, if not, whatever. You’ll reach a point in your life when you will be comfortable with this decision – no matter what they bring to the table. It’s the point you reach when you know you’re doing or have done right for you and others. Once you’ve experienced it you’ll be more at peace in the long run.
Thankfully that’s the thing about humanity and humankind – for every person that darkens your day there’s another that can shed new love and light. Hold on to those ones. Shade’s only good for so long.
R.I.P to those we’ve lost, and love and blessings to all.
Inhale The Good Shit, Exhale The Bullshit!, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Well it’s been another corker of a week! Plane crashes, earthquakes, fires, floods, climate change, giraffe extinction, Nigel Farage nominated for Person Of The Year and Donald Trump winning the position! You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s not only the end of the year, but the end of the world!
I read somewhere that a Christian computer programmer has predicted that Jesus will return at the end of the month to take the chosen few to Heaven whilst the planet is left sterile for 1000 years of rest. I’m presuming the figures have been double and triple checked after the millennium hiccup….though 16 years grace ain’t too bad!
I don’t really want to mock her, her beliefs are what they are, but I can’t understand why someone would spend their time calculating when they think they’re going to die or be delivered into the light. What a fun way to spend your life…not!
I know we’ve all got to die one day but I’m not going to spend my time waiting on it; there’s way too much to explore and do in between. I hope she’s at least seeing it out with a bang!, though not too much of a bang – wouldn’t wanna be put on the naughty list at the last minute! A sterile Earth or the flames of Hell? #DecisionsDecisions
Seriously, I’d much rather spend my days (however many more there may be), living! I’m not even aiming for the high life, just a good life will suffice! I’m not going to lie and say a little (or large) cash injection wouldn’t be appreciated at any given time, but it would be used wisely…well that is to say what I call wisely. I’m afraid I fail to see the wisdom in a pair of £500 shoes that cripple your feet but that could be because I’m sippin’ on tea and not Cristal.
Despite all the fuckeries happening in the world of late there’s so much to live for. If we could just figure out how to solve the unity issue it’d be an even better place to be living in. A great starting point is talking and listening. A lot of problems would be solved if people opened up and talked more and others took the time to hear. As I mentioned last week, I’m as open with my daughters as I possibly can be and will discuss anything with them – ANYTHING!
Obviously when they were younger it was age appropriate but I would never fob them off or be too embarrassed to talk about whatever they wanted to or whatever I felt they needed to hear. As well as feeding and clothing them we, as parents, have a responsibility to try our best to raise them right as they will eventually have to roam this big, bad world without us one day so I’d like them as wised up as possible in every aspect.
This brings me on to two other subjects in the news this week that are related to the above. The men speaking out after decades of silence about the abuse by their football coaches and the MP, Michelle Thomson on her rape at 14, 37 years ago. I can only imagine how they have felt throughout the years and it’s truly sickening and upsetting that they’ve had to live with it on their own for so long.
Listening to their accounts of how they felt ashamed and alone is a prime example as to why I talk to my girls and would persuade you to do the same with your sons and daughters if you’re not doing so already. Let them know they can come to you and you’ve always got their back no matter what anybody says. If they’re too embarrassed to talk to you let them know they’ve got options, just make sure they are talking to someone. And let’s not get it twisted – THERE ARE PARENTS THAT ABUSE THEIR KIDS! PERVERTS KNOW NO BOUNDS!
I’ve read one too many stories about women who allow this shit because of disbelief or a blind eye and it makes my stomach churn and my blood boil. I’m sure there are some children that lie about such things for whatever reason, but they are children and we as adults have to step up and find out the truth; the days of being seen and not heard are over.
I’m hoping that it would never arise (EVER!) but hypothetically speaking, if one of mine had come to me with such talk I’m on some next level Miss Marple/CSI/Law And Order/SVU shizzle. I would be relentless trust me, and God help the perpetrator! Some things are worth doing time for!
My advice goes to adults and children alike. Don’t be scared to open up. Life is better spent enjoying it than suffering in silence. Should things go according to (Ig)Nora Roth’s calculations, we’ve only got 3 more Fridays left to enjoy. It may not be the case but it should stand as a reminder to make the days count and to make time and take time to talk. A few minutes of listening can have a bigger impact than you’d imagine.
We only get one stab at this! I will be doing what we were born to do as well as I possibly can safe in the knowledge that despite what is thrown at my daughters they know they are never alone.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
It’s Good To Talk, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
⚠️Parents you may want to hide this blog from your children’s eyes! There’s some real talk in here they may not be ready for yet or able to handle and I won’t be held responsible for mashing up your Christmas!
So we’re in December now and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! I’ve mentioned previously I choose not to follow any one religion and basically crack on and live my life in peace and harmony, with a little fire when necessary and a big dose of reality – so before you mutter hypocrite under your breath I’ll save you the trouble and fully admit it! I do Christmas!
I know it’s having my cake and eating it too but what’s the point in having cake if you can’t eat it? Before you write me off completely hear me out first. It’s not about the religious aspect or the spending of vast amounts of cash. It is not the big, elaborate, gross over indulgence that is the norm for most.
I have my tree and a couple decorations, a nice little munch, gifts I can afford to give and some true, loving, quality family time. No, I don’t count how many days before Christmas the tree goes up and no it’s not up yet, but I can tell you it will be down and out of sight before the 1st January – as standard!! That’s not so bad is it? I know it’s missing the whole “true meaning” but considering that it’s not even Jesus’s actual supposed birthday I don’t think he’ll be too annoyed.
I believe that kids should be kids but I’ve always said that I wanted to be as honest and open with mine as possible. I think I’ve accomplished that thus far; possibly a little too accomplished if you ask their opinion. I can’t tell you the number of eye rolls and do you have to’s I’ve encountered at me refreshing their memories on the fact that the pill doesn’t stop you from catching a dose and other such worldly gems, but I know that should the time come they know they can tell me anything. No matter how bad they think it is they know I’ve got them! #RealTalk.
It’s a fine balance when they’re little though. This is where the ‘Santa Clause’ comes into play! This allows you a small white lie before you eventually hit them with the cold hard truth!
As much as I like to keep it real I’m not completely heartless. At 17 and 14 my girls have known the truth about Santa for some time now but when they were young enough to believe in it all I played along….until the day they asked me if he was real or not…then I had to break it down, gently! I can’t remember exactly how old they were, still very young, but old enough to question it and I wasn’t prepared to lie to them.
My fiancé was particularly happy at this as he had always made it perfectly clear that no fictional, fat White man with flying reindeer was going to take the credit for him working hard to provide for his own. His opinion is that of a lot of Black people’s and to be perfectly honest I can’t say that I don’t understand why.
I got him to hold it down in front of the girls and bought “Santa’s” gifts myself to keep the peace but when that bubble burst it caused a chain reaction and wiped out all those glory stealing charlatans in one hit! #RIPToothFairyAndEasterBunny.
I was lucky my girls took it well. I explained that not everyone knows the truth and to not tell their friends and spoil it for them but they didn’t have to lie if someone asked them what they thought. A friend of mine was telling me about what happened when she told her girls. They had asked and she told them the truth. It then later blew up at their after school club because they told some of their friends who got upset.
When she came to collect her children the staff members were not happy and were looking at her to “fix” it but why should it be her problem to fix? If we choose to lie to our kids that’s on us, but you can’t expect a parent who decides to tell their children the truth to then lie to make things easier for you. It’s down to you to keep the magic alive or kill it dead.
Some parents simply can’t afford to keep up pretences. Little precious may have been an absolute treasure all year round and avoided the naughty list but the reality is things cost money and bills need to be paid and some folk have their priorities right and aren’t prepared to break the bank to keep up the lie – and rightly so!
To me the spirit of Christmas has been lost in a sea of materialism. When I was younger it was a great time of year and I believe it’s down to the fact that we had less but loved more. There weren’t as many distractions, no mobiles, Sky or Netflix – we had a house phone, 4 channels and Blockbuster video. No online shopping – if you wanted it you went out and got it or had been paying it off throughout the year from the Freemans catalogue.
The shops were closed and the only travelling you did was to link up with other family and appreciate quality time. Naturally time moves on and things change but despite the differences between then and now the sentiment can still remain the same.
You will inevitably celebrate it (or not) how you like, but alongside the gifts that you’ve lovingly provided for your children can I suggest you also lovingly let them know how blessed they are and how appreciative they should be to be receiving nice food and bath bombs and not real bombs like the poor children in Aleppo and other war torn countries.
R.I.P to the 71 victims of the Brazil plane crash and to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Don’t Go Crackers, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I very much doubt it’s escaped your notice that today is Black Friday. A few years ago there was no such thing over here, but naturally Grate Britain had to follow their cousins across the pond and allow us this day to grab a “bargain”. But how much of a deal are you really getting?
If you look into it, the saving you think you’re getting ain’t that great! It’s usually old stock that retailers need to get rid of and seeing as they were overpriced to start with they fool you into believing you’re getting the sale of the century. Our society is one obsessed with material things and boy does it show! Who can forget last years Asda debacle!? A surge of the great unwashed practically foaming at the mouth and literally dragging people down to get £50 off a telly they probably don’t even need. Supposedly grown ass adults fighting with children over shit. I mean, come on!!
Do you really need it that badly that you would fight a child, push a man down and trample over others to have it? It’s actually quite disturbing that objects mean more to some than another human being and common decency; disturbing but not necessarily surprising. It’s been that way since creation and is even more evident nowadays. It’s amazing how low some will go to get what they want. #RealTalk.
If I really need it and, in my case, it’s half price or less then I might be tempted to buy it, and with the joys of online shopping – well a joy until the site crashes anyway – I don’t have to mingle with the desperadoes and fear having my eyes gauged out by some nutter. 49 rolls of Andrex for £12 (thanks Lana😉) is not to be sniffed at (see what I did there?), that’s the type of deal that makes sense! Something practical that I know without a doubt will be put to good use. Do I have the space for them, no, but if I fashion them right they can double up as my Christmas tree – I’ve got skills!
Jokes aside, there are some decent bargains to be found apart from toilet tissue don’t get me wrong. How and what you choose to spend your money on is ultimately down to you, but I would suggest you think about your purchases before you leap in head first. There is a rumour about Black Friday originating from the selling of slaves the day after thanksgiving in preparation for the Winter season. True or not I would say that for people of colour Winter is here in full effect – and yes I’m talking Game Of Thrones stylee! Cersei May is getting used to her throne over here and the KKKnight King and his army of White Walkers are preparing for battle in good old AmeriKKKa. I’m just praying for the dragons to make an appearance and deal with them properly…..or could that be the role we’re suppose to play? Maybe we’re the dragons in this Song of Ice and Fire.
I have renamed today BLACK BUY DAY. With the world the way it is I’ve decided that alongside any decent bargains I might snag today I will make the conscious effort to support a brother or sisters business – sale or no sale!…although a discount is always appreciated! #JustSaying😅
Aleppo we’re still praying for you.
R.I.P to those who have lost their lives this week in Iraq and China.
Shop But Don’t Drop, Stay Blessed and #CelebrateLife
I’ve usually got a good idea of what I’m going to write about but the past two weeks have been an emotional one for many reasons and headspace has been a little crowded. Right in the thick of it is the family unit, and it got me thinking about the people in our lives and the impact they have on us. If they creep and lie should we ride or die?
We’re born alone and will die alone but it’s nice to have people to share that time with in between. Even if you’re not a ‘people person’ there’s usually at least one you have a connection with. We automatically become acquainted with our family because they are the first people we’re introduced to as children, but as you grow older you realise that having a blood connection doesn’t necessarily make them all your friends.
I’m a realist and I know we’re not perfect, NONE OF US! We do what we’ve got to do to survive and if you need to do your thang to get by it’s ok, but where do we draw the line of acceptance when it comes to family? There are many out there who will allow family members wrongdoings simply because they are blood, despite the fact they know what they are doing or have done has completely crossed the line and is way out of order; they’re family and that’s enough.
I get the ride or die mentality, I have my own ride or die crew, a mixture of family and friends, but after being so close to actually dying my motto has been extended to; ride or die for something worth dying for! If you’re about some twisted next level business you’re on your own “fam” – don’t expect me to have your back when you’ve already shown me how easy it is for you to stab someone in it and do them down without batting an eyelid, and I really don’t give a flying fuck what you want to call me or how you want to take it. #RealTalk.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a heartless bitch and I believe, in most cases, people deserve a second chance. But once you’ve hit your three strikes – you’re out!, and depending on the crime, one major hit will put you out too – I really don’t have the time to waste on you, it’s too precious. Actions will forever speak louder than words and I will always focus on those than the breeze some people chat.
A blast from my past and an old photo put things into perspective and stirred up so many emotions and memories I can’t even begin to tell you now but will do one day. It also reminded me that FAMILY DOESN’T MEAN BLOOD and why a word like father is just a label – it’s your actions that make the word mean something and for me, no matter what label you wear, be it father, brother, sister or friend, it will never mean more than the things you do to show me who you really are. Loyalty, love and respect work both ways and I’m not prepared to give it to those who don’t show me the same courtesy. Right now my longest ride or die chick has dementia and I’m doing my utmost to make sure she lives her twilight years as comfortably as possible. The struggle is real, but due to the loyalty, love and respect she has always given me I will be down for whatever!
This past fortnight has made me appreciate even more the ones that are there for me and mine and cemented the love I have for them. As it’s my birthday on Monday I’m dedicating this to the woman who gave me life and whose label has never faded and been backed by her actions.
Love you Mumsy. Dementia may have robbed you of some things but it can never take our memories from me.😍
R.I.P to those who have passed away this week.
Happy Earthday/Birthday To All Of My Fellow Scorpios, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Keeping it short and sweet this week. I’m not really into politics and never have been, but I appreciate the right to have our say and vote. I’ve always tried to respect that fact and use it in the hope that maybe things can only get better! What can I say, a girl can dream! Then Brexshit happened, and I woke the Hell up and caught a strong whiff of something that’s burning my nostrils and I’m sick to my stomach of!
It’s not even about which way you voted or why. I’ve heard many different reasons, good and bad on both sides and not everyone who voted out is a racist and not everyone who voted to remain is scared of change. There are many reasons as to why they’re a Brexiteer or Remoaner, and a lot of it is down to not having a bloody clue as to what it actually meant. And who could blame them? As has been proved the very people who set it up don’t have a bloody clue so why should you? And don’t even get me started on it creating racial tension – it didn’t create anything, it simply made those that had these feelings bubbling underneath the surface more comfortable to voice their opinion and show their true red, white and blue colours. Less creating and more highlighting. #RealTalk.
The problem doesn’t lie with the masses. The problem lies with the fuckwits that think it’s jokes to play with fire without getting burnt. We may have asked for a referendum but we didn’t realise it was put in play without serious thought. Forgive us, we actually thought that something as big as this would not be thrown about lightly and decisions like hard or smooth exits would already have been run through. Don’t give us an option if you know you can’t handle your shit! Why even put it on the table before a thorough investigation and complete transparency about what could happen? What kind of people gamble with a country’s growth and economy without a sturdy, rocksteady and clear plan for either outcome? Seriously, WHAT KIND OF A CUNTRY DOES THAT? #GrateBritain
I really don’t give a damn if we’re in or out I’m just over the shaking it all about. I’m beyond giving two shits and adding to the pile that’s already provided – I’M OUT! It’s Brexodus! I have staged my own personal referendum and I’ve voted out of the voting game. Article 49 has been triggered and we’ve come to the agreement that I can relinquish my right to vote until sturdy, rocksteady and clear proof is shown that morons aren’t running things…
Looks like I may be some time…
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Those that do, please pray for Amerikkka – they gon’ need it.
Brex-N-Effect, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Today I’d like to draw some attention and show some love to a country that I can’t help but admire and have heartfelt sympathy for; Haiti. To say as a nation they’ve had more than their fair share of hard times and bad luck is an understatement! They are the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere with over 55% of the population living in poverty well before Hurricane Matthew hit, and I’d guess that figure has now risen some. I know there are plenty of countries deserving of aid but when I think of Haiti’s history they’d be the top of my list – and what better time to reflect on this than Black History Month?….I’ll tell you a better time – IF WE INCLUDE ALL OF THE OTHER 365 DAYS OF THE YEAR!! Why are we the only people willing to accept having our history condensed to one month? #JustSaying.
Like so many other countries their problems began after being “discovered” by Christopher Columbus in 1492, bringing with him diseases such as smallpox to help wipe out the indigenous people and leave who remained to work in gold mines and on plantations. Then the French came to stake their claim, bringing with them thousands of slaves from Africa to develop and work on sugar plantations. Around this time black people outnumbered white people by about 10-1 and they finally decided enough was enough. The Haitian Revolution started in 1791 – 1804, ending with Haiti seeing off the Spanish, French and British led by a former slave and the first black general of the French Army, Toussaint Louverture. Haiti became the first independent nation of Latin America and the Caribbean and the only nation in the world established as a result of a slave revolt. All but one leader of their government were former slaves. That’s BIG, and shows exactly what can be achieved when we unite.
Unfortunately the rest of the world were not so accepting of a country run by slaves and made things hard for the Haitians to thrive with no one willing to support their nation so many fled to the US. Fast forward a couple centuries and for those who chose to remain Mother Nature and sheer greed have had a devastating effect on an island full of history. In 2010 they were hit with an earthquake that killed hundreds of thousands of people and left them in ruins. But hold up, don’t fret, it’s all good, because here comes the UN and the ARC (American Red Cross) and the likes of the Clintons to save the day…..and what a grand job they did of that!😑
Ten months after the earthquake came a cholera outbreak – the first outbreak EVER to have occurred in Haiti. What the UN try to keep quiet is the fact it began near a base where Nepali peacekeepers were staying – and guess what was rife in Nepal at the time? Waste from their base leaked into the river and it spread like wildfire. The UN still class the origin of the epidemic as “undetermined”, but even one of their own advisors seems pretty determined that they are responsible for what occurred. To top all that off, the millions of dollars collected to provide relief in the form of 700 houses and much needed shelter by the ARC resulted in them building just six -SIX!, and very little has been done to really help by the other charities so tell me – WHERE DID ALL THE MONEY GO? It wasn’t spent on or in Haiti that’s for sure.
That brings us to the most recent devastation caused by Hurricane Matthew with a death toll of 1000 and rising. Still reeling from the effects of the earthquake six years on, Haitians are urging people not to give their money to the ARC – once bitten an’ all that! There’s been a few posts on certain celebrities such as Usain Bolt, Shakira, Beyonce and Jay Z donating millions to help Haiti but so far I’ve found them to be untrue – which really is a damned shame. Maybe if they’d made a profile support option on Facebook as they did for others Haiti would warrant a little more sympathy and attention by the masses. Sorry, I’m forgetting, it’s not really a tragedy until Facebook confirms it! 🙄The mainstream media soon brushed off their misery with the struggles of Amerikkka and their dozen deaths (and rising) and people with no electricity having to be evacuated to safety. I mean no disrespect to their dead at all, I’m just weighing up the devastation caused to both countries in comparison to the amount of coverage and level of sympathy shown and it sucks!
I urge my real, conscious celebrity brothers and sisters to step up to the plate and help Haiti. Those fabricated stories in the media could be a reality, no question about it, but we live in a society where it’s more acceptable to worry about and support a woman who was robbed of millions of pounds worth of bling than to worry about and support a whole country in dire need. It’s a mad, sad world for real!
Haiti you are not forgotten. R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives.
Children of Aleppo you’re in our thoughts still too.
I know I’m repeating myself but imma say it again, the world would be a boring place if we were all alike. It’s good to have differences, our own opinion and a healthy debate every once in a while. It helps us to understand the other persons viewpoint and hopefully understand them a little more – though in most cases recently I’ve got to understand them a LOT more than they realise! It’s all good though – I’d prefer to know the real wo/man behind the mask any day! Who’s got time for let’s pretend?
Most of us have an opinion on what has happened and is currently happening to Black people and it’s amazing how many varying levels of debate there are to be had. What’s less amazing is the amount of bullshit that some people believe or are sold into. It doesn’t help when certain celebrities choose to keep working in house and promote the madness! One recent post I saw asked, what does it mean to be Black? I was mystified by some of the responses.
Hollywood obviously pays some enough to make them colourblind as they don’t see themselves as Black; they were born in Amerikkka and are an Amerikkkan human being – BY NO MEANS AFRICAN!!! They do not define themselves as Black as that is not the colour of their skin blah, blah, blahhhhh…..some will suck it all up because these figures are in the limelight and say yay, we can all live as humans and get along! There is no Black and White, we see no colour just peace and love. I suppose some could mean it, but personally I believe that it’s the colours green and gold which brings about the blindness! #JustSaying.
Thankfully I have the right credentials to answer the question for myself. What it means to be Black to me first and foremost is PRIDE – I am proud of my heritage despite the many setbacks we’ve faced. For centuries we’ve been used and abused and classed as lazy, dirty, worthless people, yet for centuries it was us who did ALL the work, cooked, cleaned and raised White peoples children whilst fighting to stay alive and keep our children alive – and the great White man did fuck all but rule us and reap the benefits of our free labour.
The truth is they knew our worth before a lot of us did ourselves and would do anything to keep us from recognising it. That’s why any great leader we have had and any attempt to truly better ourselves, i.e the 1920’s Black Wall Street in Tulsa, are wiped out without a backward glance. They know the truth of how great we could be and it scares them shitless. TIME FOR US TO RECOGNISE!
I will always stand proud and never let anybody tell me I’m a lesser person than anyone a lighter shade than myself; be they white or a fairer skinned, dazed and confused brother or sister, the same rule applies – YOU WILL BE GETTING TOLD! When you know OurStory alongside HIStory then you can get a better understanding. I’ve seen people rant on about Black History Month asking where White History Month is and I really have to laugh. White History Months run from January to December continuously – it’s all we were ever taught in school with the only mention of anything in regards to Black History being one of slavery and oppression. That’s the reason why we celebrate OurStory, because there is so much more to us than that which they choose to account of us. I understand where the concept of Black History Month came from but personally I don’t need a particular month to celebrate it, that’s not to say I won’t participate in any events at that time, I’m just saying my interest won’t end on the 31st and a lot more of us need to make the conscious effort not to let it too!
Secondly – BLACK IS MY COLOUR!…well…no…not literally – I’m more of a Nutella brown to be fair but I’m more than ok with being called Black. Considering the issues that are going on in the world right now I wonder at those who take the time out to argue this particular point. Got all the time in the world to air that out but stay silent when we are literally dying in the streets for being the same colour you would like to wash your hands of. Why? There’s no shame in it – being Black does not make us dirty and unlovable like being White doesn’t make them pure and true. I’ve seen the videos about not being black and being labelled, and how we’re all the same but in different packaging, and that’s true to a certain extent and great in an ideal world – but this world is far from ideal and unfortunately the ones who run it see our colour prominently and it’s not all love! You may not want to see it but others always will. #RealTalk.
Lastly being Black to me means a love of my ethnicity, culture and a love of our spirit. We originate from some of the most beautiful places with the richest resources in the world and we are strong, resilient and some of the most talented people on the planet. No, we’re not all perfect but show me a collection of people that are. I don’t think there’s any other culture that has influenced so many others in regards to music and dance and swagger – they wannabe us but don’t want to be us! It’s flattering and insulting at the same time but it’s all gravy! As much as they try to bring us down we still remain standing and that’s why I started with pride and will end on it too. Only those who wish to do us down and keep us down will say we have nothing to be proud of. #RealTalk.
BLACK IS MY COLOUR ~ WOULD’NT BE ANY OTHER!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Good luck to those moved on from the Jungle camp. I hope you find a resolution to your plight soon.
As I’ve mentioned in my previous blog Forgive Them Father, I was raised a Christian but choose not to follow any specific religion, although I understand other people’s choices to do so and the need to have faith in someone/something, especially in these times we’re living in.
I have my own belief system and I’m all good with whatever it takes to help you make it through, as long as you don’t preach to me unless I ask you to, don’t use your position and power to take the piss and you don’t take it to the extreme.
I don’t want to focus on THAT group of people who have managed to desecrate my daughters beautiful name…well not today anyway, but after watching a clip recently of an N.E.D member (New Era Detroit) disrupting a church service by yelling “Power to the people”, it raised one of the issues I have with religion; that being those type of shepherds who like to fleece their flock!
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that a wo/man has to make a living and for many it’s a full time job, but considering what that job is, some of the wages y’all are paying yourselves seem highly exuberant! #RealTalk.
I’d never heard of New Era Detroit before and admit I still don’t know a lot about their movement but after watching an interview with the guy who disrupted the service I had to agree with his principal on this particular matter.
His objection was to the tithe being paid to the church in comparison to what was being put back into the community and what was put in the good pastors pocket. Not gonna lie, I had to google the word tithe despite being raised a Christian and then I realised it was the offering or donation.
Once upon a time they use to pass round a collection plate or pouch and you’d drop some change in, maybe a note or two from others or the regular churchgoers, but nothing major. Nowadays they’re passing round buckets and dropping in wads – I’ve witnessed it myself!😳I was honestly dumbfounded!
I know they don’t force folk to give up the cash, but tithes mean it’s at least 10% of your earnings given to the pastor or church as instructed by some testaments to provide for their services.
Now I have no objection to donations and offerings, as I said before. They are doing a job and deserve to be paid, but I believe there’s a whole heap of them who pray on their parishioners faith – or in some cases deaf, dumb and blind faith!
I’m sorry (not!) but I’ve done some research, and it’s pretty hard for me to sit and listen and not question someone preach about the life of the Lord and how we should be living our lives when they’re multi-millionaires being chauffeur driven, living in mansions and rocking private jets to help them spread the word.
The majority of their congregation could only dream of living the way they do – yet will gladly hand over their hard earned cash on a regular basis to help support their lifestyle – my bad, spread the faith. It’s a huge industry and their fingers are in many pies raking in funds from books, DVD sales and seminars etc, but it’s ok because it’s written in the bible so if it’s good with the Lord, it’s good in the hood, right?🤔
I haven’t read the bible in a while and I don’t remember everything I was ever taught but I do remember some things: gluttony and greed are sins and I’m pretty sure Jesus was more hippy like than high flyer!
I also remember that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. So tell me why someone who is supposed to love all of Gods creations and do his work would sit their ass on millions and not use their platforms to address the current situation going on in His world?
What are you doing about the shit on your own doorstep? Where are your prayers and funds for Syria and Haiti?
You know you could live a good, comfortable life on a fraction of what you have and you can’t take it with you, yet you would watch your followers and community suffer whilst telling them to pray for better days ahead as you pray they’ll hand over enough this week for that upgrade on your private jet to fly you back to your lakefront mansion.
Obviously I’m not talking about all churches and pastors, I mean no disrespect to those who are doing right and I know that some do give back to the community and live modestly.
I applaud them and what they do, but to the shysters out there, I’m praying someone takes the time out to check YOU on your 10% and then some, as I’m pretty sure your outgoings to the people would be a damn sight less than the income you reap from them.
Personally I believe there’s a reason why tithes looks so similar to thieves! I hope they’ve prepared themselves for when their time comes to meet their maker. I heard God don’t sleep!👀
R.I.P to the hundreds who have lost their lives due to Hurricane Matthew. Spare a thought for those who have lost everything in its wake.
Do The Right Thing, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Keeping it short and sweet this week. It’s been one of those ones for me – feeling rough, slightly stressed and hormonal, combined and working in unison with the mad, sad vibe of the world; and it’s seriously pushing my buttons….but it’s all good!
I know life’s not a bed of roses, and at some point we’re faced with some kind of shit to challenge us. Some are dealt more than others; as is being proved everyday for those who care to see it, yet we all have it in common. All types of people and many different causes – but it’s shit all the same!
I’m quite a strong person and I try not to dwell on the bad for long, but it does make me wonder what makes certain people tick and do the things they do without any kind of conscience whatsoever – on a personal and global level. I know we can’t all think the same way, and the world would be a boring place if we did, but waking up everyday to stories of another brother losing his life for no other reason than the colour of his skin, newborn babies left on buses to die, bullying little bastards filming their actions and thinking it’s jokes, families being wiped out in Aleppo in one fell swoop and the general level of fuckery going on has got me asking, WHERE IS THE LOVE?
Thankfully my experiences this week are nothing in comparison to the above, but no matter how big or small a pile I have to sift through I know I’m blessed to have someone to share it with. Yes, it can be great being single; and I’m all for self love, a big fan of personal space and welcome me time – but there’s also a lot to be said about being part of a couple.
It’s the knowing there’s someone that (hopefully) gets you, and you can come home to or call and know that shit’s gonna be alright. It’s amazing what a few little words can do to lift a cloud. I’ll be back on track next week but today I just wanted to show some love to my loves and to one and all.
These are some serious times we’re living in, and life is short and extremely precious. It’s not helped by the fact there are others out there who’d like to make it shorter or more miserable for whatever reason seems justifiable in their minds. We never know what’s around the corner so put a little love in your hearts and make sure you show it to the ones that deserve it. Hopefully karma will sort out the rest that don’t!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Live-Laugh-Love, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I’m sure you’re more than aware of at least one of the police shootings over this past week. If you’re a fan of social media you really can’t escape it and the majority of us have some kind of opinion on it. I’ve previously voiced my own (feel free to look back on previous R.I.P’d Off!’s and Forget You to know exactly where I stand), and I can’t help but notice where certain types of white people stand too – and I’d like to respond to a few of their comments.
Firstly there’s the ‘it’s horrible what happened BUT we don’t know the whole story’ type. At this time no, we don’t know, but from the footage that is shown, as in the case of Terrence Crutcher, he was walking away slowly with his hands in the air and did not pose an imminent threat on their lives – as in acting erratically and brandishing a weapon. That should be the only reason you shoot – as a last resort after all other options have been exhausted – but that is through my eyes, and even though we can watch the exact same footage we will never see the same story; I’m watching it in full colour and they are only seeing black and white. In their eyes the Black dude – sorry, ‘bad dude’ – must have instigated it all somehow and they’ll offer up any excuse to justify the actions of the officers, even if all they can say is ‘we don’t know the whole story.’ Well, I don’t need to know the full story to know the ending.
I know enough about the characters and have my own personal tales to tell so I’m speaking from experience when I say the major issues I’ve found with them is they’re either racist, scared, power hungry or all three – and the majority of the time we’re dealing with all three; which isn’t a great combination at the best of times let alone the worst.
Then there’s the other type who would have you believe all is not as it seems and the media is to answer for everything. They cause hype and hysteria and it’s not as bad as it seems to be out there – they’re using us to cause unrest. They’ll fling statistics at you about more White people getting killed than Black and remind us that all lives matter. They’ll encourage you to research facts and look deeper. Well, thanks for that bit of advice but I’m pretty sure you can’t get much deeper than roots deep and that’s where we’re coming from. We’ve been living it but now that it can’t be hidden as easily you would try to wrap it up and call it something different or shift the focus and make out we can’t see what’s really happening. There’s never been any justice for us and that has never been an issue for you all, but now you’re getting no peace and that’s what’s really upsetting the masses. #RealTalk.
Feel free to voice your comments, but don’t patronise us with your advice as you sit there comfortably in your White privilege. Our hiSTORY is enough to know the whole story without the help of media outlets and Facebook putting their spin on it. Maybe you’ve forgotten but we haven’t. We were only ever wanted so we could be used and abused and now we’re an infestation you want rid of because you can’t control us and you fear us, so you kill us. How about YOU look a little deeper than our skin as that’s where the real problem lies. You root out the house negroes to support your cause and ask us what Obama has done for us – what the fuck have any of you done for us?
We’re not naive enough to believe he could make a change even if he wanted to. He’s the token Black face of a White House. He doesn’t run things. His strings are being pulled by a government that’s racist, rotten and corrupt to the core. You fear and call out our Black Power groups as racist murderers and thugs yet the system is rife with the same as you LEGALLY have members of the KKK and other white supremacist groups as police officers and in every form of power and control – but we have nothing to fear. They can keep their emotions in check and it has no effect on their ability to do their job. Yet I could lose my job for nothing more than having dreadlocks. Says it all!
We’ve reached our limit and are telling you enough’s enough. All we want is the chance of equality and the ability to live in peace as we go about our daily lives without the fear of losing it because someone fears our colour more. Is that really too much to ask for? If Syrians are like a bowl full of Skittles then we’re like a bucketful of M&M’s; it has fuck all to do with poisonous ones and more to do with the fact that there’s no white ones in the packet.
R.I.P Terrence Crutcher and Keith Scott
So I finally got around to watching Gangland: Turf Wars and I can’t say I was surprised or impressed by any of it to say the least.
Where to start!?! Let’s go with the title! Gangland: Turf Wars conjures up a very different image from the one that was aired. Mandem: London would have been more appropriate, as all I saw were a bunch of Black boys playing up to the cameras to tick all of the boxes on the list that the government has tight in its hand:
Black boy ✔️
Guns ✔️
Drugs ✔️
Violent ✔️
Anti-police ✔️
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – More ammunition for more ammunition!
Don’t doubt that Rita, Sue and Bob too will be fretting that their lives are in danger as these “gangsters” have made it clear their trigger fingers are itchy, and in proclaiming they’re saving bullets for the police too, they in turn deserve to be sufficiently protected to fight fire with fire.
Watch the ride people and never say never. Now it could well be that Mr BAFTA-Nominated-Paul Blake did extensive research and the only idiots fool enough to put their balaclava clad faces on tv were those fine specimens, but are you really telling me that out of the hundreds of gangs throughout Britain that’s all you could find?
No other colour or creed wanted to bally up and act the big’ un, no? None? Not enough turf in Britain so you had to take it to France too? A bunch of very misguided and dejected Black youths and one White arse is all you could muster, is it? In my opinion, much like the plugging scene, this documentary was highly unnecessary and full of shit.
In the wake of Brexit racial tensions are high enough as it is and this kind of production is made to add fuel to the fire. I’m not denying that there are some youths out there living this type of life and it is scary and senseless and people should know what’s happening, but why do we only ever hear about the bullshit?
Where’s the documentaries on the ones that made it out and are thriving and surviving? Where’s the two part special on where the drugs and guns come from originally and how they make it into the hands of these people? Where is the follow up on how afterwards they were offered a chance of help and guidance and here is the outcome?
I watched it and all I could see was wastage. Yes it is hard out there and there is no denying if you’re Black it’s that bit harder, but because the system isn’t built for us to thrive in it doesn’t mean that we can’t! There are other options than street life and the idea that you run them. You don’t. You just make it easier to decrease our numbers over senseless notions. #RealTalk.
I know it’s not easy for parents as some kids are just harden and no amount of talking or examples of death and destruction is going to change their minds, but we brought them into the world and we are responsible for them until they reach adulthood.
Some can still be reached and we need to keep trying to get through. They really are the future and God help the lot of us if they’re left to go the way they’re heading. Some of the reasons as to why they end up doing what they’re doing is because they either dropped out or were failed by the education system and the basic need for money or want of a more comfortable lifestyle.
I understand their reasons. Not everyone can be rocket scientists and we’ve all got bills to pay, but this get rich or die trying life ain’t really worth dying for. How about you get rich and live good? That sounds like a better plan to me! You seriously don’t need that Gucci swag to brag about your accomplishments.
The majority of us really couldn’t give a shit how much money you choose to waste making a rich man even richer, but as thick as you came across on screen you proved you could work together and run a business. Imagine if you could put as much effort and energy into a legitimate business?
Why wasn’t Mr Blake and his like offering you an opportunity to do better before handing out the GoPro’s to incriminate yourselves? Who’s REALLY running your “ends”? Reality check – IT AIN’T YOU! You’re just the puppets and you’re playing your parts well! #JustSaying.
There’s more to life than what you’re working towards. Allow the ends and focus on the bigger picture. One day it’ll all come into view and I’m hoping and praying it’s soon enough for you to make a change – and make a change!💷
Congratulations Skepta on winning the Mercury Prize. Show them the way my brother!
No, I still haven’t bothered to watch the Gangland program yet! I’ve heard enough on the grapevine and can imagine the rest for myself but I’ll give it a fair assessment next week.
I had to change it up because I’m still really confused by something that blew up in the media recently, REALLY confused! When did being a star in the public eye give us the right to air disgust at a woman’s choice to not paint her face? In fact, that’s being too polite – who the fuck do certain people think they are?
I am, of course, talking about Alicia Keys and her appearance at the VMA’s. I’m honestly dumbfounded at how shallow these people are and the fact that they took the time out of their day to post how offended they were on social media.
I know the world’s gone mad for sure for many, MANY reasons and this crock of shit is definitely one of them. Why should she have to “pretty up” for the masses? Is her talent not enough that you want to own her face too? IT’S HER FACE!! You may think she looks better with make up on – that’s YOUR opinion and you are more than welcome to it, but I would say that in publicly doing so and the way some of you bitched about it says more about you than it does about her.
Your actions speak volumes that with all the troubles going on in the world right now you find the time to whinge about this.😑
Did she say she wouldn’t ever perform again until we free the face, rock its foundation and all follow suit? Did she start an #AllFacesMatter movement? Did she say she despises all those who choose to wear it and finds them all deplorable? No.
She made a choice, which is hers to make, and really should have no affect on your day whatsoever. How can you see beauty in a mask painted on her face but not in its purest form? Why is it more acceptable for us to accept a false image and shun reality?
In her case, even when they accept it, it’s only halfheartedly as she’s accused of having the money to look good naturally!🙈Really!? So how much money does that take then? I’m no expert but I’d figure it would cost more to buy all the paraphernalia you need to put your face on than soap, water and moisturiser.
Maybe the reason why her skin looks so healthy and glowing is the fact that she’s not clogging up her pores with crap and allowing her skin to breathe naturally. In my opinion you are fighting a losing battle when you bitch about having to cover up your bad skin with layers upon layers of slap to “look good”. Who is it you’re trying to impress anyway? If it’s purely self satisfying then go knock yourself out, but if it’s for the benefit of others; if they’re really so small-minded and petty as to only want to know you because of a mask you’re wearing are they worth all the effort?🤔
I’m not against make-up or those that choose to wear it but I’ve never been a fan. I’ve never owned or used more than 3 items in my life. My make up kit consists of eyeliner and lipstick/lipgloss and they only make an appearance when I’m going out-out and even then, after the first application has worn off it’s straight Vaseline on my lips!
I’m comfortable with the way my face is (for now! 👀), and I honestly can’t be arsed with any of it, but should circumstances change, IT WILL BE MY DECISION TO MAKE! And it’s not because I’ve always had perfect skin because I haven’t. I was your typical spotty teen and I’ve had some volcanoes erupt on my chin and forehead in my time along with the best of them, but I honestly believe my not trying to cover them up and feeding them more bacteria helped a lot to give me the skin I have today.
Yet even still, as much as I’m comfortable with it people still believe that to be classed as truly beautiful you have to have some form of enhancement. I’m getting married next year and have been asked by several people what am I going to do about my make up? Apparently I’ve got to at least get my brows done if not lashes and foundation. Erm….do I?…..Why? For whose benefit? I’m good and my fiancé has been happy with the same face for decades and on the day we finally decide to make things legit I intend on meeting him down the aisle with the same face he loves thanks!
Feel free to go full on Coco the Clown on YOUR day or any other day for that matter, but for me that’s not the one!✋🏾
I’ve watched the tutorials on how to go from duff to buff and the more layers I see being applied the more my face starts itching. On the real, some of these women deserve awards for the masterpieces they create because if you’d have shown me a before and after picture I would never have put them in the same room let alone say they were the same person.
Whether you’re a natural beauty or a work of art, as an adult that decision is yours and yours alone to make, and I don’t get why it should matter to anybody else – especially enough for them to get verbal about it. The REAL issues are with you not the person of your displeasure. As Alicia said, DO YOU!!
When you truly take that step you understand that it doesn’t matter what little love is shown from those who mean nothing to you. They’re all about the shade – picking the right one to blend in and throwing the rest in our direction. What they don’t understand is that no matter how much shade they throw, they can’t dim that glow!🌟
It comes from the inside out, and shallow people rarely get that deep. #RealTalk.
Congratulations Dame Sarah Storey, Team GB and all those rapping for their countries in the Paralympics.
Always Do You, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I haven’t bothered to watch the program on “turf wars” aired yesterday. I’ll watch it tonight and give it my full attention next week!
Today I’m asking for the people we class as stars and celebrities to shine their lights a little brighter for the ones who support them and are forever hearing “I wouldn’t be where I am without you!”, well…that’s lovely an’ all, but talk is cheap! If you’re really grateful and you really understand that it is us spending our money on your overpriced tickets, clothing, smellies and shit you’d maybe wanna help keep us alive? #JustSaying.
The message has hit home to a few and I couldn’t bypass the brilliant job that Colin Kaepernick of the San Francisco 49ers (my all time favourite American football team – no lie!) has been doing in supporting the cause. He can see the situation for what it is and is utilising his platform fully. He knows he risks losing endorsements and the respect of some fans but understands it doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. I whole heartedly applaud him for telling it like it is when the media was all up in his grill trying to catch him out and make him feel a way about what he’s been doing.
Why should he stand and respect a flag of a country that disrespects its people on every level without the majority of the time ever being held accountable? He understands the root cause and that people like you and me, no matter how much we shout about it, will seldom be heard. It takes his type, who have a bit of sway, to address the masses and talk up and it really doesn’t help when you get a few of us questioning why he’s doing it because “he ain’t even Black!”
Are you serious!?! Sit down and shut up and understand he’s well and truly awake and you’re still tired! Don’t diss him for coming correct like a lot more of us should be doing.
He’s had a reaction from the presidential candidate Donald Trump, who said he should “find a country that works better for him”. It says it all about the man who wants to run that same country – he literally told him to go look elsewhere because, as he sees it, the issues Colin and some others are trying to raise awareness of work for him, and there will be no place for the likes of him and the people he stands for if he’s in charge. It’s all good Trump, we kinda figured! We know you’re working hard at making Amerikkka grate again (no misspelling), Mexico gave us a heads up!
As much as I’m applauding Colin for his efforts I’m left puzzled as to why there’s not a flock of others willing to put their money where their mouth is and make a stand or take a seat for what they know in their hearts is something worth fighting for. WHERE ARE THE REST OF YOU? Beyoncé I applaud you too for your efforts honey, but you need to get your hubby and friends in Formation, get the hot sauce out your bag and dash it clean the eyes of the enemy! #RealTalk.
I can think of at least 5 of your bff’s alone that could create a huge change. WHERE ARE THEY!?! What’s the hold up my brothers and sisters? How much more do you need to see before you realise that we really do need your help!? It makes me wonder if the whole illuminati thing IS really a thing?
I’ve heard stories and conspiracy theories and I really don’t know enough to get into it, but let’s say they did sell their souls to the devil for money and power; is that the reason they can’t really do or say too much or are they just greedy fuckers who are scared of losing what they believe to be, the be all and end all of life? I’ve got 21 questions but I’ll let you get cracking on those first!
The focus isn’t just in Amerikkka, the struggle is real here too, yet it’s a tad quiet on the home front. There’s a lot of skinning teet’ when her Maj’ decides to fling a piece of silver and a title at you, but where’s the support for your fellow Kings and Queens?
Will you be giving interviews about the attacks on the Notting Hill Carnival and the powers that be trying to put a negative spin on it despite the percentage of arrests being small in comparison to the amount of people who were there? Will you be asking Lizzie and Theresa for reparations for your fellow brethren so we can better ourselves and invest in our futures which was denied to many of our ancestors? Will you kind Sir?
I’m not saying their achievements don’t deserve to be recognised I’m just saying it would be nice if when they’re there skinning said teet’ with them they used their platform and highlighted what has been, and continues to be overlooked. That’s why I have to respect Howard Gayle for refusing his MBE and speaking up as to why. Like Colin he’s willing to show and prove he’s not all talk and actually gives a damn. The rest of y’all need to come out of hiding!
The last word is for my mate Tasha who asked me for my thoughts on the whole Kunte Kinte-Corrie debate. I told you I’d sleep on it and this is my conclusion; Coronation Street is a fictional drama series based on real life and Roots was a fictional drama series based on real life past events. In real life there were slaves and in real life there are dumb, ignorant, racist fuckwits so why not air it?
BUT if it’s based on “reality” can someone please tell me, as I don’t watch any British soaps, has there been a mention of Black Lives Matter in any episodes? Did Audrey and the family take a trip to Notting Hill Carnival, or at least Leeds to dab and dutty whine? I’m sure there are many in real life that did….but not down Coronation Street. In their reality none of that’s happening…but they’ve got the fuckwits down to a tee! Bravo!!
I’ve more of an issue with the real life events that are happening now and affecting us that are not being shown on the real life news than what was said on some dry ass fictional soap and I would urge the rest of you to do the same! #TheyCallItDramaForAReason
To those out there with the power of the platform: Sup up that lemonade!
It’s time for some, time for some ACTION!*
R.I.P Makayah McDermott and Rosie Cooper
*Brownie point if you can name that tune in one!😜
⚠This is long and a bit sweary but worth a read and a share, especially if you’re from Slough!
R.I.P’d Off covers issues that mainly effect Black people and just this week alone there are a number of them I could pick from but after hearing the fuckery that I heard a few days ago this took precedence as it’s happening in the town that I live in – and where better to start than home?
I need to try to clear this shit off my doorstep before one of my daughters accidentally treads in it and brings it in my home! To say I’m pissed off with what I’m hearing doesn’t even cover it! I love my people but I’m building up a heavy intolerance to a few – as a good friend would say, I’m allergic! Today it’s your turn “Mandem”.
I know I’m gonna sound like an old fart now but bear with me, I’m only 41 so it’s not that long ago that I was born and bred in Slough and I have never lived anywhere else…yet! It’s not the greatest town but it’s home and I’m comfortable(ish) in my surroundings.
When I was younger there were no “ends” and in my opinion the government have a big part to play in the creation of the dickheads who go on about them. We had play centres, youth clubs and a sense of community. Almost every part of Slough had a play centre and you would go and check mates in different ones, play pool, badminton, basketball, football, whatever took your fancy. They’d be parties, jokes and generally a good vibe.
No, it wasn’t The Get-Along-Gang all the time, and a few people would fall out every now and then but the majority of the time it was cool. Then the government in their infinite wisdom decided to close them all and hand the youth over to technology and out on the streets and low and behold – the “Mandem” were born.
Call me old fashioned but I honestly believe if they were still around today things would be different. We might even find a new Olympic champion who turned their life around after discovering a love for badminton or basketball, you never bloody know, stranger shit has happened! Sometimes the simplest solutions solve the biggest problems. #RealTalk.
I’m so tired of the same old story: man’s gotta shot and brandish guns to be considered a bad man, spend x-amount of money on fancy cars and other materialistic shit whilst running down a next “man” whose not from “ends” who tries to invade their territory and swindle them out of what’s theirs blah, blah, blah.
You would rather risk your life or freedom to make that paper, it’s all good as long as you can floss that Rolex! You like to call yourselves the MANdem but our definitions of a man are very different. In my eyes a real man knows life is worth more than silver and gold. He’s trying to build a solid foundation for himself and his own so when the big, bad wolf comes around he won’t have to run and his house won’t get blown down, ya get me fam? No, you probably don’t, because it’s hard to see the bigger picture when you’re only focused on the corners.
We all know it’s not easy out there for us but you lot are making it harder. I understand the need for a little side hustle if things get tight but it shouldn’t be a career choice.
All you do when you glorify your ‘thug life’ is plant seeds in young impressionable minds and give the police the excuse they’ve been looking for for so long to arm themselves on the daily; and we’ve all seen how well that works out for us in other countries.
All the while you’re making it easier for them by wiping each other out over nonsensical bullshit. FUCKING ENDS!! THEY’RE NOT YOURS. YOU DO NOT OWN THEM!! WAKE UP MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
There are better ways to do for you and yours and if we pull together we could all be living well. I really don’t understand the risks you choose to take so you can have it all now – but for how long will you have it?
Wouldn’t you rather have something you can enjoy without having to look over your shoulder to keep it secure or ever getting to really enjoy it because you’re doing time or dead? I truly believe everyone has something they can bring to the table. This shit can work and we are stronger together.
Even the real fucking G’s that you try so hard to emulate are standing together so hurry up and follow this trend as quickly as you follow the rest! I’m behind any one who tries to better themselves and the community and will try to support you as much as I can, but when I’m asked to share videos about us bringing each other down over bullshit when we are being wiped out on a daily basis just for being black and innocent people get caught up in the crossfire, I’ll pass thanks.
Call me what you want (and I’m sure you will), but I really couldn’t give a toss! I’m not about that life or advocating it, unlike the mediaagghh who I see are advertising a new documentary on gangland/turf wars around Britain. It’s not a coincidence they’re putting this out there on the tell-lie-vision now with all the racial tension from Brexit surfacing – more ammunition for more ammunition!
So that being said I want to bring to your attention the absolute fuckery I learned of this week. By all accounts there’s a gang of little fuckwits in Slough who believe they have the power to bar girls from certain areas and if they have the audacity to step out of their bounds they’ll get a beat down……Yeh you heard me right – they will beat a girl down for walking in their own town – nothing more. And it’s actually happening.
They’ve managed to brainwash some girls into beating them as a form of initiation and they are being pulled down a slippery slope. I’m going to urge parents to start taking more of an interest in what your children are doing, TODAY!!
We need to teach our daughters to never disrespect each other without a bloody good reason, and never because a man tells them what to do! Once that starts, where’s it going to end? Be aware of what’s going on on your children’s social media sites, and more seriously we need to pull together and put this shit in check.
How is this happening in Slough? Seriously, HOW!?! Who the fuck are these BOYdem? I strongly suggest you find out what your children are up to BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, and if you find out your child is connected to this mess have a strong word. Don’t just take their word for it that everything’s cool – check and triple check that you know what’s going on before you jump to little precious’ defence when shit goes down.
Explain consequences to them for their own safety, because one day they’re gonna pick on the wrong girl – like MY child for example, and then they will know about consequences.
I’m all about peace and love, but only to a certain degree. You don’t put a hand on my child unless she puts her hands on you first, which she shouldn’t because I’ve taught them better than that, but if they ever do, feel free to address me because if the roles are reversed I will be addressing you, and I know damn well that their dad won’t have it; AND IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY! You have been warned!!
YOU DO NOT DICTATE WHERE MY CHILDREN CAN GO IN THEIR OWN TOWN, OR OUT OF IT! Who do they think they are? Despite what these little fuckers think, they don’t run things and I’m hoping that it has only gone so far because not enough people are aware – well now you are, and I’m sure the community spirit will kick in again……or just straight kicks will suffice – I’m down for whatever! #JustSaying.
So to the established “Mandem” I urge you to take a good look at how you’re living and check out what’s growing from the seeds you plant. I know some of you have daughters, sisters, nieces, cousins – are you telling me you’d be cool with your princess or relation getting battered for crossing some imaginary line cos ‘man a bad man’ and runs these ends? No, I didn’t think so!
Adam Gemili I feel your pain but you did Team GB proud! #YourTimeSoonCome
R.I.P Dalian Atkinson, Lance Walker, Andre and all those who have lost their lives this week
Omran we are praying for you and Syria
Bloody hell Dawn, part three!!, I hear you cry! I’m sorry, but there’s a lot to cover. I will be changing it up over the next few weeks (unless something really big warrants an airing) BUT there will be more parts to come. Today I’d like to address my people on a level and maybe encourage a few to wake up and STAY WOKE!!👀
There’s no denying that as a people our struggle has been and continues to be REAL! I’ve been over the atrocities previously and won’t hash them out again but I’d like to remind us that we weren’t always downtrodden – WE ARE KINGS AND QUEENS! Only we need to remind ourselves and exchange the “shackles” we’ve helped secure around our necks for the crowns SOME of us deserve. I say some because as in every race there are the few that can’t help themselves and unfortunately make things harder for us as they are still in a deep coma!
The reason I say we’ve helped to secure the shackles is because for the longest while we’ve found it hard to support our own. For some reason we begrudge a brother or sister for trying to make it up, not realising that the pie is big enough for everyone to get a slice. You support me, I’ll support you, and we can all eat!
Sounds simple enough, but our problem is we’re too focused on how big the other persons slice is and not the fact that we’re all eating and more pies can be baked! There was a time it wasn’t like that. Once upon a time we were all in the same boat – pun intended – and WE KNEW THAT WE WERE ALL WE HAD! We were all Black no matter what “ends” you came from and that was enough. WE had US because no other fucker did. #RealTalk.
Fast forward to 2016 and it’s a very different tale….from one aspect anyway. We’re still getting little love from the majority but we lost our love of US along the way. I’m not saying I don’t understand why to a certain extent. Times are hard enough but when you’ve got black or brown skin it’s usually a tougher ride.
We’ve all got bills to pay, mouths to feed and me and mine is a priority! Yet more time we’re just too damn watchy-watchy!👀 Sorry, not sorry to fire that truthball at ya!! My fiancé has been promoting for all but especially black people for decades, and trust me I’ve heard a lot of talk over the years (despite not being delivered to the face!) ‘Why should they pay x amount for this when he drives a car like that and they drive a banger?’ ‘He’s been on holiday twice this year and they haven’t been anywhere!’ ‘He’s obviously got money to burn!’ ‘He thinks he’s too nice because he’s friends with x, y, z.’ Blah, blah, blah…..
Always watching and assuming and never bothering to think that there’s 101 reasons as to why he has this or goes there. It must be all the money he’s raking in so I won’t support him – he’s got more than enough. But quite frankly if you do the maths of what it takes to put on an event you’d realise that you’re actually getting a good deal and there’s no need for the red eye!
It’s funny how some won’t think twice to fork out hundreds on designer items, further fattening the pockets of a person who has millies in the bank and deep down doesn’t want you wearing their brand but will take your money season after season, but you’ll watch matey sideways and question his motives for trying to entertain your Black ass for £25! KMT!
One positive thing to come out of the recent events in Amerikkka so far is the fact that we are actually pulling together. It’s like the majority have been reminded of the time when we truly were WE and did for US. It’s a shame it has taken us this long but despite the lack of mainstream media coverage things are beginning to happen slowly but surely. We are finally recognising there is nothing wrong in supporting our own and doing US!
After singing about it for decades is a change finally gon’ come? Right now in this world we live in it’s like nothing’s impossible anymore so I give us hope! WE GOT THIS! We just need to be united and remain that way. Hell, you know shit’s for real when Bloods and Crips unite
I’ll be addressing the celebrities and what part they play in a later blog but the last word goes out to the everyday mums and dads of a generation that will be looking after us in our old age (should we live to see it!)
I beg you please teach your children our history and what’s happening in the world today. TALK HARD!!! – in Amerikkka and England, because after watching a group of little shits causing aggro in Hyde Park and ransacking McDonalds in the week I was absolutely disgusted. I can’t even put it on the boys alone because some of the girls are just as wild and unruly.
I hope if you caught your little angel causing destruction and disruption you put them well in check because I guarantee you if it was one of my daughters they’d be getting it! SHIT IS REAL OUT THERE! This is no joke. You can’t have them add fuel to the fire and then blame others for them getting burned.
Same to the wannabe “G’s” out there fighting each other because ‘my man’s not from ends.’ You don’t own the streets and you ain’t no mother f*****g “G” fam!! All you are doing is making it easier for those who want us down to keep us down. It’s pathetic and pointless. Shooting a gun or starting beef does not make you a man. It makes you a dick. Y’all love to follow Amerikkka so much well how about you follow the lead the REAL gangsters are taking now? #JustSaying.
R.I.P Mzee Mohammed and all those who have lost their lives this week.
I didn’t have to think twice about this week’s topic. It’s something that no matter who you are, no matter what our many differences, you have dealt with it – because we are all a part of it – Humankind.
You cannot escape hearing one awful situation after the next. Innocent lives taken away because of what? Because my skin tone’s better than your shade, or my God’s greater than yours, or you love someone I don’t agree with – so that gives me a right to wipe you out!? I’m seriously trying to understand what makes a certain percentage of us so twisted you can happily destroy another innocent life.
That’s not to say I don’t believe that SOME people do deserve to die (or at least suffer for a really long time) I put my hands up, I do. But I’m talking about the real lowlife scum of the earth. The murderers, rapists, paedophiles etc. What I can’t comprehend is how one can take another’s life because their lifestyle or colour or whatever isn’t the same as yours. Is it nature versus nurture, a chemical imbalance or are they just plain evil? #AnswersOnAPostcard
As I understand it – well in Christianity anyway, and in the few religions I have a little understanding of, the whole purpose is to live right, love and treat your fellow man as equal, follow the guidelines that have been set and those that don’t will be dealt with by the Lord. Obviously there’s a bit more to it than that but you get my gist. It seems simple enough right? WRONG!
I was raised a Christian but have chosen to follow no specific religion. That’s not to say I don’t believe that there is some form of higher power or that I don’t know love or compassion or faith because I do, but I’ve seen way too many hypocritical people judge, criticise, condemn and kill in the name of the Lord. Believing that their shit doesn’t stink or they can go about being heathens throughout the week because on Sunday all of their sins will be forgiven. Hiding abuse behind a cassock or a bible. KMT!
I make no apologies, I choose not to put a name on my belief or live by a set of rules that many over centuries have interpreted in their own way and try to make their abhorrent actions justifiable. I thought only He could judge? So why do so many followers believe they are judge, jury and executioner? #JustSaying
I know we will never all sing from the same hymn book but the world would be a much better place if we just really did leave the retribution to the Almighty and not take it upon ourselves to mete out his punishments. I’m sorry but I feel nothing but contempt for those who choose to do so. I guess that’s another reason as to why I’m not a practising Christian. They’re (supposedly) all about forgiveness and I haven’t quite mastered that.
Forgive them Father; ’cause I bloody won’t!
R.I.P to the Orlando 49 and Jo Cox
Show A Little More Love, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
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Well, Well, Well…..what a week! My emotions have been as bipolar as the weather – NO LIE!! I’ve been saddened by the passing of a friends loved ones, and of Muhammad Ali – a great example of a true legend, especially within the Black community, and a lover of real talk too. May he rest in peace along with the relations of various friends who are being laid to rest or are being mourned.
Not gonna lie, this week’s been a bit of a bitch. You know them ones – each day brings a little something with it to add a little grey to your day! I try not to let it cloud me for long though (pun intended). In fact after visiting an old friend on Tuesday it reminded me of how blessed and resilient we can be.
She’s had more than her fair share of serious, life-changing experiences that understandably a lot of us couldn’t handle, yet she continues to smile, bus’ joke, laugh and live life despite it all. I can’t help but get a feel good vibe at that.
Another reason to smile is the glorious days of sunshine we’ve had (that’s in between the hay fever and the biblical thunderstorm that disrupted my goddamn viewing pleasure, playing with my Sky and emotions to boot! No panic though – I watched BB on the iPad and caught the last Blindspot on demand – I know you were concerned!)
I’m a straight up sun-child and any chance to top up my vitamin D will make me a happy bunny. It seems to be contagious too. It’s amazing how much nicer folk can be when the sun has got his hat on. It’s also just as fascinating how unhygienic and “eclectic” some can be but we won’t dwell on that….well….just long enough to say I’m in favour of people loving themselves no matter what their shape or size, but a high number of you, (AN EXTREMELY FUCKING HIGH!), need to make your acquaintances with my friends soap, water and deodorant!
Ultimately whatever mood decides to take hold of me, be it sadness, happiness, disappointment, disgust, heartache, frustration (yes, that was my own personal rundown of this week’s lot), there is one thing I can rely on – and I mean really rely on – to boost the joy, soothe my soul (even if it’s just a little) or evoke great memories. Music: the one thing that has an answer for every kind of emotion I could possibly feel.
Though I’m predominantly an ‘anything-old-skool raver’ (I was a teen in the 90’s, need I say more?) I’ve been blessed to have many great musical influences of all genres from an early age and it’s one of the sweet things in life I can’t bear to live without.
You may well have seen me driving by, music blaring, singing along tunelessly whilst performing a little shoulder skank or the two finger gun salute hand wave – I DON’T BUSINESS, and I am totally unashamed to say I don’t care! I’m not feeling you – I’M FEEEELING A TUUUUUNNNEEE🔊
There’s some who won’t have a Scooby about what I’m talking about but true, bonafide music lovers will. Whether it’s the lyrics, vocals, emotion, beat, bass, whatever – something will hit you!
And when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Go on I dare you. Find a song, pick your poison, kick back and relax or jump and shock out – FEEL A TUNE AND START YOUR FRIDAY RIGHT!
Wheel And Come Again, Stay Blessed & #CelelbrateLife
“Said at least when it’s over and done
We can flip through the pages
A memory of more than one
We can live through the ages…”
Healing The Sound Of The Heart ~ Boddhi Satva, Karun
On Thursday 21st November 1974 I came into the world, feet first and struggling for life 5 minutes after my twin – and the last of our mother’s children.
The ride between then and now has been a somewhat rocky one to say the least!🙃
The 2 main reasons I started blogging in the first place was to discuss and share my cancer journey, and to discuss and share the toxic relationship I had with my siblings – which coming from a Caribbean household comes with negative attachments. It may be good to talk, but we don’t talk the business – especially our business!
I remember writing in one of the earlier blogs that it was like my kind of therapy. Little did I know then the reality of that statement! I’ve reread some of them and (apart from being proud of my writing skillz💁🏾♀️), I remember all of the emotions entwined in my words.
Thankhfully I’m now in a place where I understand the path I’ve been taken on – the last decade especially. The realisation that everything really does happen for a reason. All of it. Even the shit! You can let it suffocate you, or use it as the perfect fertiliser for personal growth.
I admit to feeling suffocated for a while, but at some point you’ve gotta come up for air.
But no matter what it is I’ve had to go through, there’s always been a part of me that never gave up hope. On some days it was smaller than others, but it was there. Since my time at the retreat it’s become clearer that it wasn’t just hope, it was love, and it set me free enough to go beyond coming up for air and to keep soaring.
I’m fortunate enough to have known and understand my character since I was little. We’re all supposed to change in some way as we grow and evolve, but there are parts of us that won’t. Our essence, for want of a better word.
I did a test to reveal my human design, which is based on your date and time of birth, and I swear I felt seen! I know it might sound like a heap of mumbo jumbo, but it got me down to a t! It was in alignment with things and decisions I’d made in my life and I truly felt validated.
My happiness doesn’t lie in riches and luxury* and what I can get, more what I can give. This may come as a disappointment to my girls, as I don’t have any generational wealth I can leave them, hell, I don’t have any wealth to pay off my overdraft – but the good thing is momma is working on not leaving you with any generational trauma too. I may be the last of my mums kids, but I’ll be the first to break the chains.
My hope is that future generations will one day read through my words and know that they might have to go through some shit and fight some battles, but they can be won.
50 years on, I can wholeheartedly say I feel overly blessed to still be here. I give thankhs for life and for all of the genuine love I’ve received within my lifetime. I also give thankhs for the fakery and fuckery too, because it showed me what I needed to see and helped to make and shape me. I may not have everything I want, but I’ve got everything I need.
For the longest while and the most part, whenever anyone asks me how I am my response is “I’m good.” It’s become a mantra without trying, and even if I wasn’t having the greatest of days, there’s a part of me that believes it and feels it regardless.
I have no idea what the future holds but I’m here for it, and will keep taking each day as it comes until it’s my time to move on. I may be leaving this world feet first as I entered it, but I won’t be struggling.
They say Thursday’s child has far to go – and I fucking hope so!💫✨
Happy Earthday/Birthday to the first man to show me true and consistent love, my twin Dave, who is currently sunning his Black skin in Antigua!🇦🇬 Hope you have the best day bruv. I’ll have some choice ‘erbs and a Mighty Malt in your honour!😂
Big love to my husband Chris, and daughters, Isis and Sadé for completing the parts of me that needed filling up
Earthday Blessings to my fellow ‘74 Scorpio babies! #FiftyNotOut
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week
STOP THE GENOCIDE! Continuing to send love to all of the nations suffering from some sort of atrocity
*My happiness may not reside there but occasionally my body wouldn’t mind it. Just saying!😅
Give Thankhs For Life! Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
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NuDawn2019-09-19 21:37:092023-04-06 21:57:02It’s A Family Affair
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NuDawn2019-09-16 08:23:212023-04-02 11:05:13Tales Of The Dales (Part 2)
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NuDawn2019-08-23 21:13:342023-04-16 17:43:21Disclaimer (Part 3)
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NuDawn2019-08-15 12:01:222023-04-21 12:44:05Disclaimer (Part 2)
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NuDawn2019-06-09 09:03:282023-04-02 08:35:32Disclaimer (Part 1)