Driving Me Crazy!

It may not seem like it, but I honestly don’t like to moan and try my best not to – although sometimes it’s made damn hard. The majority of the time it doesn’t change anything so I do what I can, hold shit down and get on…mostly!

There are certain circumstances however, where people give me no option but to voice an opinion…ok I lie, I do have an option and I choose to voice it loud and clear! I wouldn’t call it road rage as such. The recipients of my choice words and horn bibbing may beg to differ but really idgaf.

If you live in England you’ll have noticed that the big, yellow orb in the sky we’re use to occasionally seeing has been teasing the life out of us over the past few months. I’m not knocking it (much) as I’m a sun child at heart, and it’s not as if I haven’t travelled to hotter climates, but there’s a big difference when you’re abroad.

They’re equipped for heat and we’re so not! I sensed the eye roll and heard the snigger when I told my cousin in the states I was sweating like a bitch in the 30 degree heat we had a little while back. I had to break down the fact that they have homes with air con and sea breezes whilst I live in the ‘penthouse’ á la greenhouse with a fan circulating hot air and frustration.

That being said, I’d never wish it away. When you have the right setting there’s nothing better than a sunshiny day. For those who don’t know, I have neuropathy (nerve damage) in my feet. It’s bad enough on a good day but the weather has played havoc with them – rain or shine. Thankfully I can drive, but since the neuropathy took hold all joy of being behind the wheel soon disappeared. The pedals added to the pain, so eventually after years of driving various cars I gave in and opted for an automatic.

I say gave in because I use to be one of those people who thought driving an automatic car was a cop out for lazy drivers. I fully take it all back! I’m glad I learned to drive manually, but I’m even happier there’s an option for me to drive relatively comfortably in my AD life. And after watching the button with lust and forever wanting, my latest car has air con that actually works!

She has become my sanctuary. I can enjoy the sun whilst pandering to my protean feet, blaring my tunes, feeling that vibe that only the sun can bring and life is good…. until some dickhead tries to wipe me out.

I wish I was joking but it’s coming like that’s the aim of the game for some of these fuckwits. It starts with the low level infringements and works it’s way up! Indicators for instance, although not a major deal it’s nice to have an INDICATION of where the frig you want to go! It’s bad enough when they expect you to mind read; it adds insult to injury when they decide they’ll switch the indicator on when they’ve done cut you up and are in front of you.

The Mexican standoff at a mini roundabout because they can’t figure out who moves first is another delight that has to get a mention.


If that’s too hard to understand, one of you move and the rest should follow – it’s really not that hard.

Then you’ve got the ones who are waiting to pull out of a road and blatantly see you coming from afar. They make no attempt to move until you’re right up on them – which is fine IF you can follow it through and maintain the speed and distance necessary.


About you want ME to hit you up the backside when you pull out like you’re driving Miss Daisy! #NotToday

The last shout for the minors goes to the Sunday drivers, the *OAP’s and the boy/girl/trans racers who put their foot down to beat you to the lights by 5 seconds, and then sit revving their engines like a dick.

You get the ones who edge out further and further because they just have to beat you! Some of them are so busy edging out that when the lights actually do change they’re not ready, so they feel the need for extra speed. Am I the only one who secretly wishes I’d drive on to find they’d crashed? Not a serious hit with innocents and casualties; just enough damage done to dent their car and pride rather than their body or anyone else’s….like in a bush. A big fat bush, subliminally and metaphorically representing the pussies they are…

Just me is it?…ok I may need to talk someone…

I admit I’ve been done for speeding – twice! Once by those sneaky bastards and their speed guns, and the other time via speed camera coming back from London. I was caught doing 36 in a 30mph zone and 45 in a 40mph zone respectively. Hardly Lewis Hamilton speeds but they nabbed me all the same.

I paid my dues, did the course, and have avoided being done since. But the speeds I reached were not overly excessive in comparison to what others clock up, and I wasn’t in an environment where others were at risk from my speed.

It’s coming like red lights are a mere suggestion nowadays, and you don’t have to stop at them if you believe you can make it through. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone through on an amber, but when it’s blatantly red I’m stopping. Yeah, waiting is a pain, but I’d rather arrive at my intended destination and not my final one, so I keep my backside where it’s suppose to be.

I’ve witnessed the aftermath of someone speeding through a red light when those whose who are supposed to go have moved off and it ain’t pretty! It may seem worthwhile to you but you put other lives at risk to save on a few minutes.


I wasn’t too fussed about driving until I got the motivation – my kids. I’ve been with their dad since we were 17 and he could drive so it wasn’t a necessity. Naturally he wasn’t able to take me everywhere I wanted to go so I’d use taxis and public transport to get around, which is fine if you’re on your own. But as any parent will tell you, kids come with a lot of shit, and dragging a pushchair, child and paraphernalia on a bus ain’t the one!

Fast forward to the present day and it’s my daughters who are now experiencing the many joys the road has to offer. It’s nice to see them gain their independence with the added bonus of ‘mums cab’ in decline, but it’s also another worry until they’ve had a bit more experience out there on their own.

Obviously the only way you can gain experience is to do the task at hand. When she was learning I took my eldest out for lessons and I was pleasantly surprised at how attentive she was in regards to her surroundings and the mad manoeuvres some people like to pull; drivers and pedestrians alike! It’s like some of them believe they’re invincible!

Wtf happened to the Green Cross Code??? Do they not teach it anymore? Like, seriously!?! It’s needed more than ever these days with the many distractions of everyday living. I can’t tell you the amount of people who I’ve had near misses with because their focus is elsewhere and they can’t hear my car as she’s so quiet (and environmentally friendly!).

She was called Aurora but I’ve renamed her Arya – silent and deadly.

Three major infringements that cause the most concern and are my biggest worries are; Alcohol, Drugs and Mobile Fucking Phones!

I’m not a major risk taker. Life is too short and precious. I don’t drink alcohol and never have, and the drugs I take are purely medicinal (😏), but even if I did decide I’d like to try something different, the last place you’d find me is in the driving seat of a potential metal coffin on wheels whilst I’m doing so!

I don’t care how ‘safe’ a car is suppose to be, I’d prefer not to be the one to find out how good their makers word is! I have very little sympathy for those who choose to catch a buzz and endanger lives. Call an Uber, a friend, walk, run, crawl, or better still STAY YA ASS AT HOME! 


It’s easy to get distracted, and one of the biggest distractions of our times is the mobile phone. We’ve come a long way with technology and they offer multiple functions at the tap of a screen, which is great an’ all, but there’s a time and a place. Again this applies to both drivers and pedestrians.

I really don’t understand what is so hard in allowing the phone whilst you’re driving or crossing roads. Personally I can drive any distance, no matter how far, and not once touch my phone. I’m lucky enough to have hands free and sat nav built in, but even if I didn’t I’d wait until it was safe to use it.

It’s one of my biggest bugbears as it’s totally unnecessary and to me unforgivable if it is the cause of an accident. Sorry, not sorry. I’m sick of seeing heediyats driving like cocks, swerving and having to slam on breaks because they can’t leave the phone alone. Some of them don’t even business about being discreet. Got their arm hitch’ up on the window or armrest just shooting the breeze! Not a care in the world or a thought for others.

I’m sure there’s a lot of you out there who think I’m just being extra, but tell that to the families of those wiped out because answering a call or sending a text was more of a priority than paying attention. The roads are bad enough as it is without you adding to the mix!

I could go on for days with the issues driving can bring, (potholes, parking and car problems especially!), but that’s enough for today! Despite driving driving me crazy, it’s also as much of a pleasure as a curse. There’s nothing like the freedom it can bring once the planets align, the vibe is right and there’s no dickheads in sight!


R.I.P Peter Mayhew and all those who have lost their lives this week.

Respect to Arya Stark, Lyanna Mormont, Black Widow and all the others females who show and prove – fictional or not!

*I mean no disrespect to all OAP’s, I know there are many competent older drivers. I’m addressing the ones who would give Mr Magoo a run for his money – and trust me they’re out there! I understand wanting their independence but some are downright reckless and need to be informed there is no shame to be had in hanging up their keys and accepting the bus pass gracefully! Just saying…


Think & Drive, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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