Ha, Ha, Black Sheep!

I’m keeping it as short and sweet as an Easter egg this week as I’ve had a lovely weekend spent with family and would like to spend today doing the same.

I’ve previously touched on the subject of family and my perception of the word and my sentiment remains the same – being blood doesn’t mean a thing, it’s how you treat a person. (It’s A Family Affair)

Easter is one of the times of year I would usually congregate with my maternal siblings, not because of the religious aspect, but more a reason to spend family time together.

For the past couple of years those days have been done and dusted and yet you won’t find me bawling over my hot cross buns anytime soon.

Some folk are under the impression that you’d be at a loss without them in your life or you’re missing out by not being a part of their collective.

I was told by a sibling that I didn’t count as part of the family. You’d be forgiven for believing I’d done something atrocious but the reality is I just spoke the truth, which can hurt like a bitch, so therefore I must be one.

The truth can be too much to handle and rather than face it some take offence, deny and/or attack; that’s on them. In my opinion, I don’t care who you are, if I think you’re out of order or have a situation wrong I will say so with love, take it as you will, but I’m gon’ say it.

Their response to oust me from the family really doesn’t mean much as I have no interest in being associated with their type – they actually made it easier for me to not give a damn in the long run. #RealTalk

Yesterday I spent the day with extended family who I have more in common with and made me feel more at home than blood. I would rather spend my quality time with those on a level than with wolves in sheep’s clothing trying to pull the wool over my eyes any day of the year.

You can cast the black sheep out of the family but most times that just makes us happy bunnies. #JustSaying

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Happy Monday, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife


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Now You C Me (Part 6)

No apologies, this week I’m talking real shit! – like, literally. I’m quite sure that the majority of you have no idea that April is Bowel Cancer Awareness Month.

To be fair before my diagnosis I didn’t have a clue about it either, it’s not like it’s one of the more talked about diseases, but the reality is we all eat and we all poo so it could get you too!

One of the memories that Facebook shared with me this week was of the day I said goodbye to my locks – add to that my annual CT scan on Friday to check that things are still ok (🤞🏾) and there was only one subject I wanted to write about.

The most important reason why I wanted to talk about it is because if you listen to the statistics only you’ll be fooled into believing that you are safe if you’re below the age of 60. People are campaigning to lower the age of screening in England to 50 but that, for me, is still too high an age.

I was diagnosed at 39 after months of misdiagnosis and I’m lucky to be here, so would like to share my tale with you in the hope it may help someone else in the future. It’s not the nicest subject I grant you, and if you aren’t interested in the finer details you may want to stop now, but there really is no sugarcoating shit!

For me the first sign was a slight pain in my right side in January 2014 – kinda like a stitch. Nothing too major and not enough to warrant too much concern, but it would come and go at random times and when I wasn’t necessarily exerting myself.

It stayed the same for about a week, and then I realised it was less random and more constant. Now, I wasn’t the most ‘regular’ person to start with so wasn’t surprised when a few days had passed without me going for a poo, but when I did eventually go I noticed that there was a little blood and mucus when I wiped, (yes I look, and you should too!) That added with the pain I was straight off to the doctors sharpish. I was thankfully aware of the signs so didn’t think twice, in spite of my age.

I was seen at my surgery by a lovely lady who reassured me it was probably nothing but stood by protocol and referred me within 2 weeks to have a sigmoidoscopy. This is a procedure where they examine your large intestine through your rectum (Yeh, nice I know, but bear with me) and which, in my case, picked up nothing more than a couple of internal haemorrhoids which they put the blood and mucus down to.

That however, didn’t explain the pain which, during those weeks, had intensified further and painkillers couldn’t touch it. I went back to my doctor who agreed there was definitely something wrong but was unsure as to what it was and said she would try to arrange for me to have a CT scan for as soon as possible.

By the time of my first visit to A&E (pre scan), I was hardly eating and the pain was wiping me out. They checked me over, told me it sounded like IBS and gave me Buscopan and Co-codamol which did nothing.

I went back to the doctors and urged her to chase up my appointment, and a week later I had it done. I was working at the time but found myself having to take days off where I just honestly couldn’t function and all I wanted to do was sleep, but there was no reprieve in that either.

At this point the pain was coming in constant waves like contractions – I was in full on labour without the joy of a baby at the end of it! My second trip to A&E had me leaving with more of the same pills and this time a possible diagnosis of Chrohn’s disease or endometriosis. Marvellous!

A week later there were still no results and I was a hot mess. I took myself to A&E again to be told the same thing and that I’d have to wait for my scan results. That last trip was on Friday 16th May. On the Saturday I was unable to eat or drink anything and called an ambulance out.

I was assessed by the paramedics and told there was nothing they could do but prescribe me stronger pain meds until I could see my GP and get my results. They arranged for an out of hours doctor to give me Tramadol and it numbed the pain slightly but nowhere near enough. I dozed for most of Sunday and on Monday morning the real fun began!

Without exaggeration, I was fucked! The pain, no food and little water had knocked me for six, to the point of me being unable to catch my breath. My fiancé called an ambulance and I was taken to A&E where I was given morphine which was soon to become my bff!

Morphina, as she is now known, performed the miracle I had been looking for for 5 months – she freed me from my shackles of pain and it was thee best feeling on Earth!

I was severely dehydrated so they hooked me up to fluids and a few hours later I could actually remember what it felt like to be human again. It was bliss! – then they came with the fuckery.

Apparently, now I looked a little more perky, they were happy to send me home to wait for the results of my scan. Naturally I was a tad perplexed by their decision and told them so in no uncertain terms. There was no way in Hell I was leaving that place after a taste of the sweet relief Morphina had given me. NOT👏🏾A👏🏾CHANCE!👏🏾

I told them I’d waited weeks for the results and there was no way I’d be leaving there without a fight – call who the fuck you want, I AIN’T LEAVING! I’m guessing the mad glint in my eye was enough to let them know I was for real and they admitted me.

Surprise, surprise the next day I got my CT scan results which showed nothing but slight swelling around my appendix, but they knew my appendix wasn’t the problem as the pain had gone on for too long. There were signs from my bloods that something was amiss so they sent me down for an ultrasound where the brilliant radiographer proved she knew her stuff.

She said that my bowel looked twisted and suggested the surgeon have a look laparoscopically. I was warned that as it’s the bowel depending on what they find I might need a stoma bag but hopefully it would be straightforward. On Wednesday 21st May – exactly 6 months before my 40th birthday – I went down for surgery.

When I awoke I was told that they’d had a look laparoscopically and it was a bigger job than they’d expected, resulting in being operated on for 5 and a half hours to remove a third of my bowel.

They’d found “something” they wanted to check out so were sending it off for biopsy. Ever the realist, I asked the surgeon there and then to give me the real talk and asked him if it was cancer. He said he couldn’t confirm it without the results but he was more than sure it was. To be honest I was just relieved to know that they FINALLY had an answer.

It took just over 5 months to get me to diagnosis. By the time they’d operated on me my tumour was 6 inches by 3 inches, had spread from my bowel to my lymph nodes and was just about to make out with my liver.

They said had I gone home when they wanted to discharge me by the time they saw me again I would have been Stage 4. I questioned how my CT scan didn’t show anything at all and was told that upon taking a second look they could see it. Obviously I wasn’t too thrilled to hear that and I am now adamant they triple check my results – once bitten and all that.

They assured me had things not gone the way they did, the next step would have been a colonoscopy, which would have shown what the deal was as my cancer was in the large bowel which the sigmoidoscopy wouldn’t have picked up.

Quite frankly, that was little comfort considering the length of time it took to get my results let alone them missing a big, fat juicy tumour!

I’m not knocking the NHS as a whole, they do a great job and I’m thankful for them potentially saving my life, but a lot of areas could be improved which will be discussed at a later date! For now without sounding too preachy, I want to tell you to please listen to your body.

No one knows you like you. If you have an issue, no matter how embarrassing you may feel it is, if you truly value and appreciate life you will get it checked out – end of! It could be a minor, but it could also be something major so worth a once over at least. If you feel you are not being heard and they are fobbing you off persevere, shout louder, get second and third opinions if need be.

Look after yourself from the inside out and watch what you’re putting in your body. By all means indulge but moderation is the key.

I’m two years into my 5 year check up and awaiting the results from Friday. Who knows what will unfold but I’m keeping the positive vibe alive for as long as I can – I’ve got a lot more living to do yet!

Syria you’re still forever in my thoughts. Hoping there’s an end to the madness soon.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Be Safe Rather Than Sorry!, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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Time To Go And Time To Grow

Well!! It’s been a week of ups, downs and eye openers so no long thing today as I’m shattered!

A few highlights of the week have included paying my respects at a funeral, the day after that congratulating and celebrating the birth of a new princess to the family and the day after that I thought April Fools Day had come early, only to realise it wasn’t a prank but the joke is well and truly on them!

On Tuesday I attended the funeral of an old school friend. I didn’t see him that often but when we did bump into each other, no matter how fleeting the time, I was always greeted with a smile and he just had a good vibe about him.

I saw him two weeks before he died and as usual hailed him up with him reciprocating and flashing his gold teeth. Now there’s a lot of speculation as to events that lead up to his death but we will never know the full story and I’m not about to add to it. Life has a way of throwing shit at us, and until we’re in a particular situation ourselves we don’t know how we’ll handle it so I try hard not to judge. Instead I choose to remember the gentle giant that loved his dogs and gave me jokes back in the day, and I’m glad that so many others came to celebrate his life too.

I attended the funeral with a cousin who was due to give birth in 8 days. The last thing I said to her on that day was, “Ooh, any day now really, Tash. Next time I see you, you’ll be a mummy!” Little did we know, bubba had no intention of cooking for another week and put in an appearance the day after!

It just goes to show that we can plan things and hope they turn out the way we would like, but time waits for no man and will show you who’s really in charge! #RealTalk

That brings me to Thursday and the realisation that some people are in the wrong profession and should be writing comedy because they’ve got jokes for days!

Although I may have thought time can’t come quick enough for some things to happen it’s actually proved to me it’s because it was giving others the chance to gather enough rope to hang themselves.

I can’t divulge any details yet but hang tight, I’ve got a doozie coming real soon. Remember Sticks And Stones. (Part 1)?, well Hurricane Dawn has been gathering force since then and you’d better believe for some there will be no peace in the eye of this storm. Folk need to get comfy in the bed they’ve made – like I’m about to get comfy in mine!

Celebrate life for real people. Tomorrow is never promised.

 

 

R.I.P David, Darcus Howe and all those who have been laid to rest or passed away this week.

Congratulations Natasha on the birth of Princess Tula. Can’t wait for a snuggle!

 

 

Count Your Blessings, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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The Blame Game

I’m sure the majority of you are as upset and disgusted as I am at the events that occurred at Westminster on Wednesday. I’d prefer not to give the perpetrator too much attention, as his actions alone say enough about him to know he is a sick and twisted individual.

For those who believe everything the media tells you, they gave at least 2 examples of why you shouldn’t. The first being the fact that one channel had already aired an announcement from the anti ISIS department BEFORE there was any indication it was a terrorist act performed by them.

You can see the presenters realising their mistake and urgently trying to cut the footage but sorry mate, it was too late. Another channel then went ahead and named a hate preacher who is still in prison as the attacker. I’m presuming the ‘Muslim beard’ threw them – you know, that sure sign that you’re a terrorist.

What the fuck happened to checking your sources and reporting fact not fiction? But I guess when the agenda is to cause hype and hysteria it doesn’t really matter does it? Some will feel the media were justified in speculating as ISIS have apparently taken credit for what happened, but has it ever occurred to them that they would take the credit regardless? I doubt they’d even heard of him but it all adds to their supposed glory and the mediaagghh and tell-lie-vision scoop it up and feed it to us.

Being truthful, when I first heard about it I did say to myself please don’t let him be a Black man. I know I wasn’t alone in my thinking but I want to clarify why I thought that. It’s not a shame and embarrassment thing – I’m aware terrorists/crazy folk come in all shapes, sizes, colours and creeds – but there are way too many bigots and ignoramuses to contend with already and as expected those and more came crawling out of the woodwork spewing their poisonous rhetoric.

It’s not that I wasn’t expecting that to happen or I’m surprised by it, I’m just completely and utterly sick and tired of it. It’s the same old song they all sing whenever something like this happens; if you’re Black, brown or Muslim we’re the cause of it all and shouldn’t be here in the first place yada, yada, yada. These are the same type of people who believe they are superior because they are white and they don’t have any terrorists in their camp – they’re simply misunderstood or mentally challenged.

The amount of bullshit I’ve seen and read from small minded imbeciles beggars belief.

The icing on the cake was a picture of a young Muslim woman with a phone in hand walking past a victim with people gathered around. This picture had to have been taken minutes after events took place and I very much doubt she had a clue as to what had actually happened.

If you care to look closely enough you could see she was clearly distressed by the scene as she had a hand to her face. Any rational thinking person would come to that same conclusion but unfortunately there are a lot of highly irrational racists that circulated the picture of that poor woman describing her as heartless and insensitive, making assumptions and accusations.

You’d think she was the one who’d committed the crime, yet when you compare it to other pictures of other victims and the passers by there were no in depth discussions about their apparent lack of compassion, but none of those were wearing a hijab so…

The person who caused the carnage is the one to blame, not a beard, a hijab, being black or a Muslim. Extremists and terrorists are in a class of their own – don’t add the innocent into the mix as well. Instead of focusing on hate and division our thoughts should be with the victims who got caught up in this madness and on working together to show them we’re not about to let them win.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we don’t have anything to worry about, regardless of if you believe it’s all a set up and conspiracy it’s still a scary thought and there’s no denying that it ends with everyday, blameless people getting hurt or killed.

This Mother’s Day spare a thought for the children of Aysha Frade and all of the innocent mothers and children around the world who will have a hard time on days like today due to the madness of religion and war. If you’re fortunate enough to have your mum still around and she’s worthy of the title (there are many who aren’t) make sure you treat her right not just today but everyday – she gave you life, it’s the least you could do.

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Speedy recovery to those injured on Wednesday.

 

Happy Mother’s Day, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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Get Up, Stand Up!

So this week has been as full of ish as last week – more so if I’m completely honest. It straight up had me frustrated the way some people operate and had me wondering when is karma going to put in a long awaited appearance.

But then, as only wise words and music can do, Mr Robert Nesta Marley hit the nail on the head with some conscious lyrics. He told me to Get Up, Stand Up and Don’t Give Up The Fight! Too many things to relate to in the song, but one particular line that stood out was, “You can fool some people sometimes but you can’t fool all the people all the time.” #TellThemAgainBob🎤

I don’t want to come across as if I’m a malicious person because I’m truly not, but I believe that you should treat others as you would want to be treated, so if you choose to conduct yourself in a devilish manner I won’t be shedding any tears if/when you get a dose of your own medicine, and I may well crack a little smile like I did today when I read that an example of Britain’s finest, Pc Joshua Savage (by name and nature), has been charged with threatening behaviour, assault, criminal damage and possession of a bladed article. This all came about when Leon Fontana was pulled over in a case of mistaken identity whilst driving through Camden.

Pc Savage switched and went flip mode resulting in him trying to cut through a smashed windscreen with a penknife, such was his rage to get Mr Fontana out of the car. It needs to be seen to be believed, and I’m just glad he had the sense to film it as if he’d tried to tell you the story without the proof you’d say he was telling porkies! Justice hasn’t been fully served, he’s yet to be sentenced and there’s no guessing at what that outcome will be (🙄) but I’ll relish in the small victory all the same.

A way to help aid karma along is to play someone at their own game and kill them at it. T.I did that magnificently when he responded to President Trump’s twitter rant about Snoop Dogg’s new video, portraying Donald as a clown in the Clown House, and Snoop shooting him with a clown gun where a BANG! banner falls in place of a bullet.

Controversial yes, most definitely, but it’s a spot on analogy in my opinion. Naturally Trump had something to say and responded with this; Can you imagine what the outcry would be if @snoopdogg, failing career and all, had aimed and fired the gun at President Obama? Jail time!

Really Trump? I think not! Obama had more than his fair share of haters out there with effigies of him hanging from trees as a taster yet, unlike you, chose to spend his time and focus on more important issues – like running a country. KMT!

T.I hit back with this:

“@snoopdogg is a Fuckin Legend u Fucking Tangerine Tanned Muskrat scrotum skin, Lacefront Possum fur Wig wearing, Alternative fact, Atomic Dog diarrhea face ass man!!!! Leave our legends names out ya fuckin old ass puppy piss smelling ass mouth & continue to focus on dividing minorities, building barriers, alienating immigrants, & fuckin this country up like u been doin…. #UWannaBeDictator #PresidentialLevelFuckBoy.”

Now say what you mean T.I, don’t hold back!

All the above made me smile and remember that when all is said and done, no matter who you are or what position of power you may hold you’re still a human being and not one of us are without some flaw. Your integrity can be judged by the masses as it is something we all share no matter what your position may be.

Understand not everyone will enable you because of your supposed status. Some of us smell the shit and see the light and are not afraid to let you know. That’s a *SURT!

 

 

Congratulations Lydia Simmons on having a home development named in your honour. Thankh you for representing as a strong, Black female role model for Slough and the first ever Black female mayor in the U.K, bringing positive vibes for all of theses years and hopefully many more to come, We salute you!

R.I.P Chuck Berry and all those who have lost their lives this week.

*Straight Up Real Talk

 

Don’t Give Up The Fight, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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R.I.P’d Off (Part 12)

⚠️Warning: There’s strong language from the start. If you are easily offended you may want to allow this one!

Now I don’t want to bring a negative vibe, and to be fair this week hasn’t been all bad, but have you ever had one where you’ve dealt with or heard the most eye twitching, head shaking, brain numbing, frustrating, teeth gritting, blood boiling, deep breath inducing, would-be-funny-if-it-wasn’t-so-sad FUCKERY? I have, and coming from fellow brothers and sisters it’s quite disheartening. And as I’m the sharing type, I’ll give you a whiff of the shit I’ve happened across along my merry way.

Firstly I’m going to address the words of Ben Carson, who is the current US Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under the Trump administration. Now this man is a legend in his own right.

Before losing his mind he was the Director of Paediatric Neurosurgery from 1984 until his retirement in 2013 and performed some truly amazing and pioneering surgeries in his time, including the only successful separation of conjoined twins joined at the back of the head. Phenomenal! This man has worked wonders and has more accolades than you can shake a stick at which deserves a big WOW, and he’s still performing wonders by managing to prove how highly intelligent people can function whilst suffering from severe brain damage.

Mr Carson gave a speech on Monday which included this gem; “There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”

Really Ben? Really!? I’d hazard a guess that wasn’t the kind of dreams they were having whilst being forcibly taken from their homeland and shackled in the bottom of a ship, and if they were, it wasn’t that land of prosperity and happiness they wanted to see their family thrive in. Samuel L. Jackson summed it up neatly in one tweet! I know his use of the word motherf****r is a harsh one but it derives from a time where Mr Carson’s mind seems to have lapsed back to.

I heard there was a new superbug called the DJT45 Virus that’s infecting the brains of the susceptible and it has a whole host of nasty side effects – it’s possible he’s caught a dose. Or maybe he went one surgery too far and experimented on himself with disastrous results – his grey matter fading to a funky shade of off white, causing severe damage to the realness neurone. Shit can happen!

Either way, what was he thinking? How can he seriously compare the two? (They were both rhetorical questions by the way). He’s shown us what he is; a White House N****r plain and simple. He’s backtracked on what he’s said now but with little effect. The damage had already been done from the time he decided it would be appropriate to air that fuckery in the first place. #TakeTenBenAndLie Down

Moving swiftly on, I watched a 10 minute video that in itself evoked all the emotions in the first paragraph. It was of two men (well, one man and one wasteman) discussing what was happening on the streets today. The wasteman chose to keep his face hidden and pixelated for anonymity, though he’s apparently friends with the interviewer and they didn’t do anything to disguise his voice so if you’re from their “ends” I’m sure you’ll know who he is.

In all honesty just listening to him speak made me want to punch that cunt in the throat. Anyway, I’ve digressed from my main point which is it was a very candid discussion with this “man” explaining how things work. The first thing I noticed was how he got quite defensive when described as a roadman. He made it clear he’s not a roadman fam! He gets the youth to move the food (drugs) so he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty, yet it’s ok for him to have our youth doing his dirty work for him. But what does it matter, they’re getting paid right?

He purposely targets and encourages vulnerable children, especially those with no father figures in their lives, with a flash of the cash and a promise they’ll be living large and don’t have to work a £7.20 pittance of a job. He tells it straight – they are easy targets and a great catch when you get them young. He is the role model they’re looking up to.

In this day and age where material things mean more than anything the temptation is mighty real for a lot of them out there and he’s the modern day Fagin, sowing the seeds in impressionable young minds. Yet, when asked about his own children he was adamant that they would never be a part of that life, never get trapped.

He went as far as pulling what I think was a bullet out of his pocket to reiterate the lengths he would go to to protect them but he continued to glamourise the life and suck other people’s children in. If it’s so great, why wouldn’t he want it for his own flesh and blood? Hypocrisy much?

He touched on risks and consequences but they were only mentioned in regards to what would happen should someone lose his goods or try to swindle him and very little to do with the hard time they’d be doing should they get caught, in fact he stated that he’s not about going to jail which is why he encourages the youngers to do his bidding.

He blatantly mocked the interviewers good intentions and told him he could send out all the positive vibes he wants – they ain’t listening! The legitimate life is not the one that is going to get them the things they want. He’s making the most of the situation because that’s life and the way of the street. He made a good point on some of the wotless mothers out there who know what their child is doing, but as long as they’re bringing home that paper, it’s all good! No bitch, it’s not!

But then a lot of those mothers were babies having babies with not a lick of common sense so it’s inevitable that they’d think that way. Thankfully his words were not enough to put his friend off, and he eventually became so disgusted with their talk that he cut it short stating that he would continue to try and get through to the youths, which brings me to my conclusion on this subject.

I had a discussion recently about what they should be teaching our kids in school. I said that real life skills and knowledge should be on the curriculum where as my friend said it should be taught at home. My point is just because people become parents it doesn’t automatically mean they have what it takes to raise a child and teach them how to survive in the real world. Not all are cut out for the role or deserve the title and a lot of them are less mature than their bloody kids!

School is where you go to learn so teach them things that will help them once they pass the school gates. I would love to see people like the interviewer go into schools armed with things like the video and break it down to the kids – the same way the wasteman recruits them when they’re young, they need to know to watch out for these predators from young too.

Play the footage, pause it and make them understand each statement and that matey isn’t working in your best interest but his. As much as he seems like a father figure he wouldn’t have his own son or daughter living the life he wants you to so how has he got you? #RealTalkIsTheKey

The last waft of fuckery falls under the unnecessary bracket! Understand I am a superwoman of sorts, but I admit I am lacking in certain abilities – like flying and mind reading. It has come to light recently that I’ve upset a friend because of my inability to do the latter.

Apparently I should automatically know what they are thinking or how they are feeling and make them my priority despite what is happening in my life or their inability to be adult enough to tell me to my face or respond to communications. I can only imagine how I’m being portrayed by said friend as they can be quite a character to say the least, but at 42 I know my worth and am well over playground antics.

I have more than enough sincere and genuine friends in my life to have me begging anyone’s friendship so move and go ‘long with your petty fuckery, I’ve got bigger and more important fish to fry!
Rant over! Over and out!!

R.I.P to ally hose who have lost their lives this week.

Big belated love to all of the women of the world for Women’s Day!

Allow The Fuckery, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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Hometown Glory?

After Monday nights Panorama: Life in Immigration Town was aired I felt the need to write this. Considering I’m a 42 year old, Black woman of immigrant parents who was born in Slough, raised in Chalvey and whose brother stood for UKIP for the same place, I can add my thoughts to the mix!

Firstly my own personal opinion on immigration is this; It’s a great thing and I love it. It’s nice to know you don’t have to stay in your one place of birth and can soak up new experiences elsewhere, or seek refuge should your sanctuary be destroyed through no fault of your own.

I’d like to think that should things go wrong (Brexodus) and I’m forced to flee my home I’d be welcomed with a sense of understanding and sympathy for my plight and a little, (or a lot) of love and humanity from others…a girl can dream can’t she?

Fortunately I’m awake enough to know that should that situation ever arise not all will be welcoming me with open arms…Hell, not all are welcoming me with open arms here in my hometown let alone elsewhere, but that’s a part of life. Some folk ain’t ever gon’ change and are ready to dislike you on looks alone which is their prerogative, but some things can be helped to curb the distaste.

Whether you choose or have to move to another country you should respect that country’s beliefs and traditions, which is more than doable without encroaching on your own beliefs.

If you can’t, then maybe you should find somewhere else to live. If you’re not prepared to work or contribute to that country in some way and only want to bleed their resources drier than they already are, then you should do one too.

That couldn’t be said of many immigrants when I was younger as they were, and the majority now still are, some of the hardest working people out there, but let’s not get it twisted, there are A LOT blatantly taking the piss and they need to be addressed.

Those who come over and abide by the rules and work to earn their keep have a right to live a life too. You can’t expect them to not use any resources. Naturally they’ll need to be housed, they’ll get ill and their children will need to be educated but somebody’s not doing the mathematics, and you don’t have to be Katherine Johnson to work it out! So who’s to blame? For me there is only one collective responsible and that’s the government. Side eye matey all you want but don’t hate the player hate the game!

When I was growing up the most predominant ethnic minority in Slough were Asians followed by West Indians. I’m of an age where I remember when White people use to run a good few shops in Chalvey and you could get most things from a trip down the road.

By my early teens you could notice the change more, as in not many, if any, White people running shops. It used to remind me a bit of Eastenders – The Foresters Arms being The Queen Vic, the launderette, chippy, I think the only thing missing was the market!, (but we had Ali’s and Jabbles so we were ok!)

You knew your neighbours and there was a sense of community between all races. That’s not to say there was never any racial tension every now and then but that’s to be expected – we live in the real world not a soap! The Foresters was one of four pubs, there was the Premier club (Treetops), working men’s club, the play centre, parks and Koolers bar for the youths – basically there were enough things, whatever age you were, to relieve some tension.

When you remove the stress relievers and add more people you get more tension which in turn breeds more hate. I’m not saying a pint or a game of pool is the answer to all of our problems, but I know it’d help some. I’m actually surprised they’ve left a piece of greenery and haven’t started building houses on the Rec yet!

I live on the cusp of Chalvey now, but I’m there more than 5 days a week as my mum still lives there. I visit the shops on a regular basis so know exactly what that elder had to say about the Romanians and believe me it’s not about being racist, it’s about being a realist.

If it were ANY group of individuals behaving the way they do I’d have something to say about it – they just happen to be immigrants and I’m not gonna feel a way about saying it or offending people. It’s not labelling, it is what it is.

I’m not saying it’s all of them who cause the disruption but there are a lot and I can imagine how some may feel intimidated by them as they literally stand in a pack as you try to walk around or through them. It’s funny though, if you walk a little further down the road, cut through by the recycling plant and across the fields you’ll never see a scene like the one being witnessed on the daily in Chalvey. But then they’ve got a castle and we’ve got a dump.

I have no problem with immigration – I have a problem with the people who control it…or rather don’t, which I’m sure a lot can relate to. I understand peoples frustrations and fears but there are ways to make your point heard and get your views across without it including racism, hate and/or antisocial behaviour. It should go without saying that if you’re an immigrant yourself UKIP is not the party you should be standing behind, in front of or next to.

To have a family member be that guy is not the one to say the least – I really didn’t have a clue until I saw his face on a flyer and was as shocked, surprised and confused as the rest of the majority of the Black community by his actions – but only for a hot minute. I then remembered who it was I was dealing with and soon realised he has all the attributes of what it takes to be a politician so would fit right in.

He actually had the audacity to accuse ME of making him look like a sellout because I chose to put a post up at the time on Facebook addressing the fact that it was not a family affair, as some had thought, and he stood firmly on his own. I would suggest him plastering his face on the flyer and knocking on people’s doors for votes might have made people think him a sellout but I could be wrong.

Slough’s not the greatest place to live but it’s not the worst and it’s my hometown. I can’t say I’ll live here for life, but it’s where I am right now and it’s given me some great memories. It’s not beyond being a great place, it just needs some love and attention. Lastly I’ve gotta ask where Panorama got their statistics from with the average weekly wage being £558!? Where was this poll taken? Which part? Whose wage? After tax? Can I get a job please?

 

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

 

Home Is Where The Heart Is, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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Everyday People

It’s 8.27pm and I have just sat down after clearing up the kitchen, debating what this weeks topic would be about, something that I never have a problem with usually, but with life being life, time kinda slipped away from me and I realised I hadn’t given it a second thought.

A good friend of mine was stood in my front room, braiding my youngest hair and I asked her what I should write about this week. Now at the time there were two Queens and three Princesses up in the room and the elders (myself and friend), were catching jokes from the youth of today! (#Banter – they’ll understand this!😂) My friend suggested I talk about the rude ass youts out there but a much better subject was staring me right in the face.

No long thing as quite frankly I’m tired and I really need to take my contacts out as they’re slightly irritating me and I’ve got floaters moving about, but I wanted to put this good vibe out before the weekend is done completely and a fresh week greets us.

On Friday I was having a bad day with my feet which required me to use my stick. Doris had already stopped me for one day so I thought I’d get out whilst the going’s good – I hear her cousin Ewan is breezing through soon but with a little less oomph thankfully!🌪 Anyway back to my point, on my slow and steady trek into Queensmere I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of people that took the time out to hold a door and give a smile.

It’s something I do myself as standard but I’m sure we’ve all bucked up on one of the few that believe that’s part of your job description and mosey on through without acknowledging the gesture. I may have mentioned it before but I’m known to shout “YOU’RE WELCOME!”, just to clarify it didn’t open itself…ok drifting again, but seriously, it doesn’t matter how broke you are MANNERS DON’T COST A THING!…sorry, it had to be said, back to it now!

This weekend I’ve had kindness from strangers, a random chat with a fellow shopper, bumping into a few old faces (pleasant ones), catching up with a couple of the ladies yesterday whilst being tortured by 50 Shades Darker – and not in the good way. 50 Shades Drier is more like it, but it did give us something to laugh about.

That brings us to now, and my friend Nasheta having left just over an hour ago after what was suppose to be an hour visit at 3.30pm. I won’t bore you with the ins and outs, but it reminded me of how your life can be touched by the people in it and those who choose to show love, kindness and humanity – not because they’re after something, but simply because they care enough to do so.

The point is everyday people can affect your life, and every day people can affect your life, and when it’s with positive vibes you can’t help but want to pass them on. For every little and big gesture shown to me this week I am truly thankful and appreciative. It doesn’t go unnoticed and it’s put me in the right mindset for the week ahead. No Monday blues or Wednesday humpday but a Friday feeling all week long! (Here’s hoping anyway!)

 

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Nasheta, I got you!!

 

Pay It Forward, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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The Law Of Attraction Distraction

I’m glad we’re all different and have our own views, beliefs and opinions, (I know I’ve said it before, just wanted to reiterate!). I like sharing mine with you and appreciate others wanting to do the same, especially with the way the world is today, but some people’s opinions leave me baffled as to whether they actually believe their talk or if it’s just the easier option to facing reality.

If you’re unaware all Hell broke loose in Paris over two weeks ago after a Black 22 year old youth worker, known only as Theo, was arrested by four police officers, racially abused, spat at, beaten and “allegedly” sodomised. I’m suppose to use the word “allegedly” because this is the police we’re dealing with so naturally there are many logical explanations as to how a baton can get thrust up your back passage causing you to require surgery whilst four officers are out performing their protective duties.

I won’t even try to throw out a plausible scenario because I can’t, I’ll leave it to the “professionals”, but in my opinion it is what it is – a disgusting, deplorable act of violence and discrimination by racist police. No matter how they try to spin it the math will never add up and you’ll find it impossible to convince me of anything different.

It was one woman’s response to a post regarding the above that prompted me to write about this. She believes in The Law Of Attraction and was adamant everything in life is based on that. Now, I get the basics and even agree with it; we have the ability to attract things in our life that we focus on. If it’s negativity then expect it back and if it’s love, light, peace and prosperity then that’s what you can/should expect in return also.

I understand her thinking but the same rule cannot be applied for everything – it can only go so far for some, which was a point being made to her that she seemed to completely miss, so I’m throwing it out there to see if any other thinkers like her can explain it to me as I really don’t get how it can be condoned. I’ve heard it said by a few people but yet to hear a credible answer. It usually ends in “You don’t get it.”, or “It goes deeper than that!”. I’m giving you the time to enlighten me, I beg you please!

How does The Law Of Attraction apply when the law is attracted to doing you damage? How does it work when you’re throwing out that positive energy but receiving the negative back because of something you can’t change about yourself and shouldn’t have to? What LOA is it that sends rapists, racists, paedophiles and murderers to their victims? How do the victims, especially children, attract that kind of attention? To me it seems like a cop out so I’ll be eagerly awaiting your response to set me straight!

On a lighter note my fiancé and myself took the girls to see Hidden Figures yesterday and we loved every minute of it. A brilliant example of how determination, perseverance and understanding can lead the way forward. Some would say the LOA was in play here too but what was also evident in the film is that it wasn’t until the majority woke up to what the minority could achieve given a fair chance did great things happen!

1961 or 2017 – the same rule applies!

 

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Shine Your Light, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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Now You C Me (Part 5)

Perhaps the only blessings that being diagnosed with cancer and the days following has given me are clarity and appreciation. My appreciation for life has given me more clarity and focus on the things that make life worth living.

Every minute is magical and it can take less time than that for something truly life changing to happen – be it good or bad, so make the time count with the good stuff. When the bad comes around you’ll have those days to look back on, and when the amazingly good comes around it’s an added bonus to the joy you were already having.

It’s really not about money, so no eye rolling and ‘I wish I could afford to’ talk! It comes from the simplest of things – a walk, a talk, a kiss, a hug, even a likkle rub-a-dub! A girly night where you reign supreme as the Black Jack Queen👑 – anything!

Good stuff comes in all sizes and a lot of it can be had for free. Unfortunately the same can be said of the bad stuff too, and this is when clarity comes into play.

Given time most of us can see the light. It’s made more effortless when you’ve actually experienced a significant life change; a bit like Scrooge being shown the error of his ways.

Our sense of decency and conscience should kick in, but again I suppose it depends on where you set your levels (Can You Feel The Beat?), but if some people got a taste of what they put others through would they be so eager to behave in the same way?

If they had a brush with death would they be so quick to wish it upon others? I like to think not, but we’re all wired differently, and for some it doesn’t matter the circumstance they will remain the same. That’s when the real challenge is on.

When it boils down to the nitty gritty and you know there are no other options but one; there is no fight or flight – it’s fight and fight harder because it’s for the greater good (and we’re all about the good!), that’s always worth putting in time for.

It ain’t easy – far, far from it, and obviously it’s easier if you’re part of a pack; but a lone wolf can change the game and David beat Goliath so there’s hope for us all!

I think mine is enhanced by being a Black Scorpio woman – by stereotype alone that’s a heady mix in itself without the added vision cancer brings. I don’t tick all of the stereotypical boxes by far, but some are marked in permanent ink.

I’m not afraid to talk up, possibly a little too much some would say, but I’d rather be heard than stay quiet, especially if it’s something worth fighting for, and I can differentiate between what should be given time and energy and what shouldn’t.

Yes, I can be fiery, emotional and passionate – what can I say, I’m only human, and it’s caused because I love, I care and I truly appreciate life. Understand I’m beyond wanting to willingly spend my time around toxic people, so if I do happen to find myself mixed up with those such types, believe it’s for the most precious of reasons.

Naturally my health is a factor. I’ve been given a gift that comes with conditions, one of those being to avoid stress, and although it may not look like it I am trying and promise to try harder!

I know my genuine friends and family are concerned and I heed their call. I have my annual check up in a few months time and I’m praying things are still ok, I’ve got a lot to look forward to!

In the meantime I will continue to make the good times count and keep fighting for who and what I believe in, even if it means fighting a human form of cancer in the process. #RealTalk.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Fight The Good Fight, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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