Archive for year: 2016

Well no one can say that 2016 wasn’t an eventful year! Not all great events to say the least, but eventful nonetheless! I’m not going to go over the highs and lows – if you don’t know, you’ll soon get to know about some of them as a lot of the events have far reaching repercussions that will be felt well into the New Year and beyond.

The past 7 days have been a doozy for deaths, especially of celebrities. It just goes to prove as I said a few weeks ago, that it doesn’t matter who you are or what you have; when your time’s up, your time’s up! Yet despite knowing we only have a limited time here that could be cut short at any moment, some people still choose to waste time – which is fine and their prerogative – but don’t attempt to waste mine.

They say everything happens for a reason and there’s a blessing in every lesson. The older I’ve become, the more I believe that it’s true. Some life experiences have the knack of waking you up to reality. Some of us acknowledge this and grow and change; some remain the same. For the growers and changers we understand that not everybody will get it and wonder why we’re not playing the game anymore. Why we don’t respond or rise to certain situations. It’s because we know there’s more to life than fuckery and no matter who they are; friend, family or foe, there’s nothing more important than doing you first.

I don’t know how much time I have left on this Earth but I do know I still have 3 and a half years before the cloud over my head is officially lifted. I try not to think about it too much and let the sun shine through, but was recently reminded that too much stress is fuel for cancer and my body is throwing out warning signs. Some of the stress cannot be avoided but others can and I have made the conscious decision to eliminate unnecessary stress causing shit from my life. Signs are everywhere trust me, we just have to be awake enough to see them and heed them.

I’m not expecting 2017 to bring miracles (as much as I may wish it!) but it will undoubtedly bring change. I have been blessed with some amazing people in my life, most importantly the man who has given me the most – my beautiful (though sometimes challenging!) daughters and 100% unconditional love. I honestly can’t wait to wear my official Queen Wifey crown and live our life. It’ll be stressful no doubt, but it’s the type I can handle. This kind of stress ends with better days and beautiful memories – I can work with that!

A humongous thank you to one and all who’ve taken the time out to read my blogs. I know time is precious and I’m grateful for the minutes you give up and your support. I wish you all good health, wealth, blessings and happiness in 2017. It will get bumpy at times but remember the lows are there so we truly can appreciate the highs. Try to find a positive in every day – even if it’s just that you woke up this morning!

To 2016 I say, Bye Felicia! You’ve been tripping on all kinds of levels and I’ve received your lessons but you’ve overstayed your welcome. Thank you very much for your services but could you now, ever so politely, fuck off! #JustSaying

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week and year. I pray you are resting in peace.

2017, BRING IT COME!!!

Happy New Year, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

…..Exhale! There’s been a lot of inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth, counting to ten and woosah’s this week! REAL TALK! You know when you’re trying your damnedest to stay positive and appreciate the good around you but with every turn there’s something or someone testing your patience?….it was that time for a while! Again!

I am by no means perfect and I don’t believe that any human being is 100% perfection. I’m not talking about aesthetics but the person as a whole. We all have our flaws, however many, major or minor, there may be. Some of us are more aware of them and try to work on them, others either don’t see them (which happens a lot!) or just couldn’t give a shit. It’s all part and parcel of being a human being. We were placed on this earth knowing the only thing we have in common, without a doubt, is that we all have a certain amount of time here before we die never to return…well…at least not as the same person. We all breathe the same air and see the same sun, moon and stars. We all bleed the same and we’re supposedly the most intelligent species on the planet…hmmm…about that!

I spoke about the subject of humanity in my previous blog Forgive Them Father, a few months back. Since that time there’s been a few things I can look back upon that make me smile and appreciate how great life can be, and even though I know there are good and bad people I’m still struggling to understand and accept all the bad bits.

I have a higher respect for life since 2014. I think it’s a part of being in the Survivors Club. You don’t take time for granted and know that it doesn’t matter if you’re as rich as Crassus or as poor as a church mouse, as black as night or as white as snow, young or old and any other opposites you can form – there’s no discrimination in death. You understand the reality of it and the beauty of life and it’s partly why the past couple of weeks have had me feeling like Leeloo in The Fifth Element. There’s a line where she says, “Everything you create, you use to destroy.” And Korben says, “Yeah, we call it human nature.” Film or not, how on point they were!

After nearly six years of conflict the people of Aleppo are finally catching a break and being allowed to leave in relative peace. I say relative as some were still subjected to gunfire and who really knows how long the peace will last? I’m just relieved that after witnessing the horrors those poor people went through, especially the children, they have been given a reprieve, and hope and pray the peace is maintained, but knowing how us humans can be, I hate to be a pessimist but I can’t see it; and it blows! Am I the only one that’s fed up with the way the world is run? I almost wish a higher power would come down and fix the mess that they created!

You may think I’m joking but I’m deadly serious! Don’t get it me wrong I’m not saying I’m praying for the end of days, death and damnation scenario. I’d much prefer a time out on the naughty step kinda thing but hey, it’s not my call. But before they  carry out whatever form of punishment they deem fit, I’d like them to press the pause button on everyone and explain that when they put us here it was with more than enough space and more than enough resources for us to get along. The rest wasn’t in their master plan; they thought that given time we’d figure it out.

They didn’t expect us to turn on each other but embrace and admire the differences between us. They didn’t expect a country to spend millions of dollars on jewels on a Christmas tree whilst millions of people are starving, poverty stricken, sick and dying. That wasn’t the whole point of the story despite what baby Jesus was given. They didn’t expect people to be bombed out of their homes, or used and abused, or tortured and destroyed by something as petty as skin colour or who they choose to love. We didn’t understand that we should respect each other and nature and not the materialistic things we hold the most value in.

Nature is the one gift we were all given to share, (granted some things you could have kept to yourself!🕷), and in our death it continues to survive, yet we’re happy to kill off the planet and not utilise natures remedies to its full potential to fatten our pockets whilst our fellow brethren are dying. “Saving” the planet by recycling whilst allowing the manufacturers to continue producing plastic packaging for us to use that destroys the wildlife yet fining us for not recycling correctly – (yep, it all matters!)

Honestly, when the time comes and they spell it out to us we’ll be kicking ourselves! The conclusion will be, ‘We had it easy – we made it hard!’  #RealTalk.

The world is actually big enough for us all to live in peace. I’m not saying we have to like each other, but there’s enough space for us to live together without the need of hurt and bloodshed. Seriously, what have we become? Brother Marvin, we’re still asking what’s going on! Until the day I’m blessed or cursed with the answer I’ll continue to try to be the best human being I can be. I would love to be able to solve all the worlds problems but I’m not quite there yet!

Wherever possible I will always do my bit to help a cause or support a friend, even if it is just with words, but ultimately I have to do me before I can do you. That may mean that you haven’t been at the forefront of my mind but not that I’ve forgotten you completely. I may well have had bigger and more important issues that I have to deal with that are priority, and if it upsets you that I be so bold to tell you so and set you straight (all said with love), quite frankly, that’s your business. We all have our crosses to bear – trust me I GET IT, but the world doesn’t stop because of it.

Respect the fact it’s not all about you sometimes and ask yourself how much attention you’ve paid to the friendship. This week I’ve had a couple of situations that really got to me for a hot minute but then I had to stop and put myself back in check. I’ve fucked off friend and family alike but oh well. If they’re true they’ll sit back and assess where I was coming from and hopefully understand, if not, whatever. You’ll reach a point in your life when you will be comfortable with this decision – no matter what they bring to the table. It’s the point you reach when you know you’re doing or have done right for you and others. Once you’ve experienced it you’ll be more at peace in the long run.

Thankfully that’s the thing about humanity and humankind – for every person that darkens your day there’s another that can shed new love and light. Hold on to those ones. Shade’s only good for so long.

R.I.P to those we’ve lost, and love and blessings to all.

 

Inhale The Good Shit, Exhale The Bullshit!, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

⚠️Parents you may want to hide this blog from your children’s eyes! There’s some real talk in here they may not be ready for yet or able to handle and I won’t be held responsible for mashing up your Christmas!

So we’re in December now and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! I’ve mentioned previously I choose not to follow any one religion and basically crack on and live my life in peace and harmony, with a little fire when necessary and a big dose of reality – so before you mutter hypocrite under your breath I’ll save you the trouble and fully admit it! I do Christmas!

I know it’s having my cake and eating it too but what’s the point in having cake if you can’t eat it? Before you write me off completely hear me out first. It’s not about the religious aspect or the spending of vast amounts of cash. It is not the big, elaborate, gross over indulgence that is the norm for most.

I have my tree and a couple decorations, a nice little munch, gifts I can afford to give and some true, loving, quality family time. No, I don’t count how many days before Christmas the tree goes up and no it’s not up yet, but I can tell you it will be down and out of sight before the 1st January – as standard!! That’s not so bad is it? I know it’s missing the whole “true meaning” but considering that it’s not even Jesus’s actual supposed birthday I don’t think he’ll be too annoyed.

I believe that kids should be kids but I’ve always said that I wanted to be as honest and open with mine as possible. I think I’ve accomplished that thus far; possibly a little too accomplished if you ask their opinion. I can’t tell you the number of eye rolls and do you have to’s I’ve encountered at me refreshing their memories on the fact that the pill doesn’t stop you from catching a dose and other such worldly gems, but I know that should the time come they know they can tell me anything. No matter how bad they think it is they know I’ve got them! #RealTalk.

It’s a fine balance when they’re little though. This is where the ‘Santa Clause’ comes into play! This allows you a small white lie before you eventually hit them with the cold hard truth!

As much as I like to keep it real I’m not completely heartless. At 17 and 14 my girls have known the truth about Santa for some time now but when they were young enough to believe in it all I played along….until the day they asked me if he was real or not…then I had to break it down, gently! I can’t remember exactly how old they were, still very young, but old enough to question it and I wasn’t prepared to lie to them.

My fiancé was particularly happy at this as he had always made it perfectly clear that no fictional, fat White man with flying reindeer was going to take the credit for him working hard to provide for his own. His opinion is that of a lot of Black people’s and to be perfectly honest I can’t say that I don’t understand why.

I got him to hold it down in front of the girls and bought “Santa’s” gifts myself to keep the peace but when that bubble burst it caused a chain reaction and wiped out all those glory stealing charlatans in one hit! #RIPToothFairyAndEasterBunny.

I was lucky my girls took it well. I explained that not everyone knows the truth and to not tell their friends and spoil it for them but they didn’t have to lie if someone asked them what they thought. A friend of mine was telling me about what happened when she told her girls. They had asked and she told them the truth. It then later blew up at their after school club because they told some of their friends who got upset.

When she came to collect her children the staff members were not happy and were looking at her to “fix” it but why should it be her problem to fix? If we choose to lie to our kids that’s on us, but you can’t expect a parent who decides to tell their children the truth to then lie to make things easier for you. It’s down to you to keep the magic alive or kill it dead.

Some parents simply can’t afford to keep up pretences. Little precious may have been an absolute treasure all year round and avoided the naughty list but the reality is things cost money and bills need to be paid and some folk have their priorities right and aren’t prepared to break the bank to keep up the lie – and rightly so!

To me the spirit of Christmas has been lost in a sea of materialism. When I was younger it was a great time of year and I believe it’s down to the fact that we had less but loved more. There weren’t as many distractions, no mobiles, Sky or Netflix – we had a house phone, 4 channels and Blockbuster video. No online shopping – if you wanted it you went out and got it or had been paying it off throughout the year from the Freemans catalogue.

The shops were closed and the only travelling you did was to link up with other family and appreciate quality time. Naturally time moves on and things change but despite the differences between then and now the sentiment can still remain the same.

You will inevitably celebrate it (or not) how you like, but alongside the gifts that you’ve lovingly provided for your children can I suggest you also lovingly let them know how blessed they are and how appreciative they should be to be receiving nice food and bath bombs and not real bombs like the poor children in Aleppo and other war torn countries.

R.I.P to the 71 victims of the Brazil plane crash and to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Don’t Go Crackers, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

I’ve usually got a good idea of what I’m going to write about but the past two weeks have been an emotional one for many reasons and headspace has been a little crowded. Right in the thick of it is the family unit, and it got me thinking about the people in our lives and the impact they have on us. If they creep and lie should we ride or die?

We’re born alone and will die alone but it’s nice to have people to share that time with in between. Even if you’re not a ‘people person’ there’s usually at least one you have a connection with. We automatically become acquainted with our family because they are the first people we’re introduced to as children, but as you grow older you realise that having a blood connection doesn’t necessarily make them all your friends.

I’m a realist and I know we’re not perfect, NONE OF US! We do what we’ve got to do to survive and if you need to do your thang to get by it’s ok, but where do we draw the line of acceptance when it comes to family? There are many out there who will allow family members wrongdoings simply because they are blood, despite the fact they know what they are doing or have done has completely crossed the line and is way out of order; they’re family and that’s enough.

I get the ride or die mentality, I have my own ride or die crew, a mixture of family and friends, but after being so close to actually dying my motto has been extended to; ride or die for something worth dying for! If you’re about some twisted next level business you’re on your own “fam” – don’t expect me to have your back when you’ve already shown me how easy it is for you to stab someone in it and do them down without batting an eyelid, and I really don’t give a flying fuck what you want to call me or how you want to take it. #RealTalk.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a heartless bitch and I believe, in most cases, people deserve a second chance. But once you’ve hit your three strikes – you’re out!, and depending on the crime, one major hit will put you out too – I really don’t have the time to waste on you, it’s too precious. Actions will forever speak louder than words and I will always focus on those than the breeze some people chat.

A blast from my past and an old photo put things into perspective and stirred up so many emotions and memories I can’t even begin to tell you now but will do one day. It also reminded me that FAMILY DOESN’T MEAN BLOOD and why a word like father is just a label – it’s your actions that make the word mean something and for me, no matter what label you wear, be it father, brother, sister or friend, it will never mean more than the things you do to show me who you really are. Loyalty, love and respect work both ways and I’m not prepared to give it to those who don’t show me the same courtesy. Right now my longest ride or die chick has dementia and I’m doing my utmost to make sure she lives her twilight years as comfortably as possible. The struggle is real, but due to the loyalty, love and respect she has always given me I will be down for whatever!

This past fortnight has made me appreciate even more the ones that are there for me and mine and cemented the love I have for them. As it’s my birthday on Monday I’m dedicating this to the woman who gave me life and whose label has never faded and been backed by her actions.

Love you Mumsy. Dementia may have robbed you of some things but it can never take our memories from me.😍

 

R.I.P to those who have passed away this week.

Happy Earthday/Birthday To All Of My Fellow Scorpios, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

Keeping it short and sweet this week. I’m not really into politics and never have been, but I appreciate the right to have our say and vote. I’ve always tried to respect that fact and use it in the hope that maybe things can only get better! What can I say, a girl can dream! Then Brexshit happened, and I woke the Hell up and caught a strong whiff of something that’s burning my nostrils and I’m sick to my stomach of!

It’s not even about which way you voted or why. I’ve heard many different reasons, good and bad on both sides and not everyone who voted out is a racist and not everyone who voted to remain is scared of change. There are many reasons as to why they’re a Brexiteer or Remoaner, and a lot of it is down to not having a bloody clue as to what it actually meant. And who could blame them? As has been proved the very people who set it up don’t have a bloody clue so why should you? And don’t even get me started on it creating racial tension – it didn’t create anything, it simply made those that had these feelings bubbling underneath the surface more comfortable to voice their opinion and show their true red, white and blue colours. Less creating and more highlighting. #RealTalk.

The problem doesn’t lie with the masses. The problem lies with the fuckwits that think it’s jokes to play with fire without getting burnt. We may have asked for a referendum but we didn’t realise it was put in play without serious thought. Forgive us, we actually thought that something as big as this would not be thrown about lightly and decisions like hard or smooth exits would already have been run through. Don’t give us an option if you know you can’t handle your shit! Why even put it on the table before a thorough investigation and complete transparency about what could happen? What kind of people gamble with a country’s growth and economy without a sturdy, rocksteady and clear plan for either outcome? Seriously, WHAT KIND OF A CUNTRY DOES THAT? #GrateBritain

I really don’t give a damn if we’re in or out I’m just over the shaking it all about. I’m beyond giving two shits and adding to the pile that’s already provided – I’M OUT! It’s Brexodus! I have staged my own personal referendum and I’ve voted out of the voting game. Article 49 has been triggered and we’ve come to the agreement that I can relinquish my right to vote until sturdy, rocksteady and clear proof is shown that morons aren’t running things…

Looks like I may be some time…

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Those that do, please pray for Amerikkka – they gon’ need it.

Brex-N-Effect, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife