Archive for year: 2018

I’m sure you’ve heard someone at some point say, “You wouldn’t believe the week I’ve had!” Well for me this shit seems to be standard procedure. Seriously, I sometimes wonder if I’m being tested, and if so, what the hell for? What prize do I win at the end, because it had better be a bloody doozie!

It’s part of the reason why I wrote Friend Or Foe, Let Them Go!. I get enough BFD from supposed family and trying to make it through the day in general – I don’t need it from those who I choose to have in my life. I should point out that there are different strains and various degrees of BFD – I’m allergic to all. I’ll leave this weeks shenanigans for another day, but I will share with you something that happened a few weeks ago.

There’s a perception that most Black people tend to give their children ‘funny’ names. That wasn’t so in my case. In fact if you saw mine or my siblings names on paper you’d be forgiven for thinking we were of Caucasian persuasion.

Hailing from Caribbean descendants there’s no surprise about our surnames though – I think we can safely decipher where they came from, but again that’s another story for another day…

I knew I really wanted to have children. Boy or girl I was good as long as she or he were healthy, I was happy. I couldn’t wait to have my babies and was one of those who found out what I was going to have. It gave certain people time to get their head around it not being their first choice, and for me to compile a list of names for my impending bundle of girly joy.

I don’t know about you other parents out there, but I thought long and hard about what I was going to name my kids. My own name isn’t the most exciting or exotic, but it has meaning and I love it. I wanted to give my girls a name they could love too, and I had succeeded…until a few years ago.

My eldest, who will be 19 in October, has recently finished her A levels but decided against going to university. That was absolutely fine with me, but she wasn’t going to be sitting her backside on the sofa watching Netflix and YouTube videos all day.

It was made clear she would have to do something, so she chose to look for a job and was eventually successful in finding one. It isn’t her first job, but it’s her first full time office job, and for someone her age it’s good money.

My daughters name is Isis, and before anyone asks the question (again!) of didn’t I think about what I was calling her, I’d ask you to check the above paragraph at her age. She’s 19 next month. She was around before all of the Islamic State debacle kicked off. There could be no further comparison between the two.

She was named after a Goddess, and a badass one at that! She was called “The One Who Is All” and “Isis The All Goddess”. Her name literally means Queen of the Throne. She was the model on which future generations of female deities in other cultures were to be based. She was the goddess of the moon, motherhood, fertility, magic, death, healing and rebirth and the first to walk amongst her people and teach them many skills….and you wanna question if I thought about her name? Did YOU think before you opened your mouth?

As I mentioned, Isis recently started a new job. It’s in customer service and she had to have a months training before starting on the floor. A couple of weeks in she was politely pulled to one side for a chat. She was told that she had done nothing wrong, but it was a heads up that when she eventually gets on the floor they would prefer it if she used her middle name so as not to offend any of the customers.

Do what now!?!

Those who know me know this piece of information did not go down well with me AT ALL!! When she said it, it took a second to register and then the vexation took hold! Who did they think they were? You gave her the job knowing full well what her name was and at no point during the interview did you say it would be an issue.

Why should she have to change her name to pander to those who are obviously lacking in intelligence and cannot differentiate between the name and the terrorists? Which of y’all sat there and decided that it even needed to be discussed?

Believe I was ready to go OFF! READY!! When I asked her what did she tell them I was praying she’d told them to (ever so politely) stick your job and look forward to hearing from my solicitor!

But she didn’t. She said that it was ok with her and she didn’t mind. At this point I’m watching her with mouth open and side eye in full lock. I asked her how can she not be offended and disgusted, and then she broke it down…

As upset as it makes me that her name causes the reaction that it does, I’m not the one who actually bears the name and has to live with it. It’s not that she doesn’t like or feels ashamed of her name, but imagine how it feels to have the jokes and jibes throughout school, college and work.

She’s sick of the attention and sniggers at her name badge and people outright telling her she shouldn’t be allowed to work with the name. She’s even had to ask her friends to not bawl out her name in airports.

It gets beyond tedious and she’s had enough. Her work colleagues call her by her name and she only uses her middle name for phone calls. When she was eventually officially told before starting on the floor, the manager was apologetic, told her it has absolutely nothing to do with her personally and explained exactly why they’d asked her to do it, which made sense to her and she was cool with it.

Me personally, I wouldn’t be having it. Despite how nicely you want to put it or how much time it saves or financial sense it makes to your company your ass would be going down – but that’s me, and it’s not my decision to make.

Had she been a few years younger and it happened she’d have had no choice in the matter. But she’s nearly 19 years old and I need to allow her to make her own choices and decisions, especially when it comes to something as personal as her name and her feelings.

I can only hope that she’ll feel a different way about it but I doubt it, and I fully understand that it’s her choice. Her employers, on the other hand, I don’t understand. They really don’t know how lucky they are trust me! It’s as if they were blessed by a Goddess!

Sincerest condolences to Errol Fenton and family on the loss of your beautiful, multitalented daughter Taymah. Way too young to be taken but she left her mark whilst she was here. R.I.P Queen.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

No Shame In My Game, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

It feels like I’m stating the obvious when I say it seems as if the world has truly gone mad. In fact I swear I’ve started a blog like this before. Everyday there’s some new addition to the ongoing madness that is residing all over the place. Even the remotest spot in the world can’t escape it, so it’s great when something nice comes along to raise people’s spirits and take their minds off of things – if only for a day. #WeddingOrFACup

I know there is a lot of worldwide love for the royals, but despite being born and bred in England, from a young age I honestly didn’t understand what their purpose was and I honestly still don’t. I mean, what do they actually do? And why do taxpayers have to subsidise some of their living costs when they have more than enough wealth to help themselves? I’m not totally ignorant, I know they generate tourism and a few have/had jobs in the forces etc, but not all and what do the rest do? And exactly how much wealth does tourism generate?

It’s not that I hate them and you can’t control what you are born into, but I think they’re an outdated entity who, with the world being the way it is right now, could quite easily give back to their subjects and help fix their country without putting too big a dent in their vast pockets.

There’s only one member of the royal family that I paid any attention to and that was Princess Diana. She always seemed like the realist of the bunch (which she proved with ‘that’ interview – we love real talk!), and she was the first royal I’d ever seen truly interact with everyday people and not look like she wanted to run and decontaminate herself as soon as it was over. She had that human touch where the rest were as stiff as their waxworks. I really felt for William and Harry when she died. It’s hard enough dealing with dysfunctional families and grief at any time let alone as a child in the public eye.

Fast forward a few years and here they are, both grown and in love – and who doesn’t love love?…well, plenty to be honest! It seems there are some not so keen on the bloodline being tainted with melanin. Oh well! Such is life! You can’t help who you fall for and unfortunately you can’t pick your family either. And what a family on both sides!

If you pay any attention to the news you can’t escape hearing about the scourge that is the Markle family. To put it bluntly, what a bunch of cunts! Her siblings are phenomenal! If we’re honest we’ve all got at least one family member who fits that description, but she got a job lot. She had already made a name for herself in her own right and now she’s topped it off by marrying a prince and their jealousy is palpable.

Their actions have been atrocious and I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor cow…but keeping it 100, myself and the majority of Black people breathed a collective sigh of relief when the stories that appeared in the press were all about the White side. REAL TALK! Can you imagine if the drama was on her mothers side? You’d never hear the end of it and I can just see the headlines now; ‘Pass The Duchess Pon The Lefthand Side’. Personally I would have loved if her mother walked her down the aisle. She’s the only one who has shown dignity throughout, but to each their own I guess.

Whichever way you look at it history is about to be made and an age old monarchy is about to be hit with a fresh, new breed! As a woman of colour, newlywed and a true lover of love (no matter what mix), I’m happy for them both and will be tuning in to see the sights.

I’ll be goddamned if I’ll be standing with the masses to catch a glimpse though, despite it being right on my doorstep. I really can’t do crowds and Windsor is peopley enough on an average day let alone today. I hope they can prove the doubters and naysayers wrong and it lasts a lifetime…or at least as long as the disruption it’s caused to my life! I don’t mean to bitch (👀) but it’d be nice to get back to normality and pop down the road to Waitrose and Thai Terrace in peace.

Good luck and congratulations Harry & Meghan.

R.I.P. To all those who have lost their lives this week.

Love Love, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

I remember when I was younger being told that one day I would look back and realise that the school years were the best years of my life. I’m not too sure about that. They were great in the sense that I was free of bills and major responsibilities, but I’d hardly call them the best. They were ok.

I most definitely wasn’t one of the ‘hot’ or ‘popular’ girls but I wasn’t a loner. I had a good mix of friends/acquaintances, a few I’m still in contact with on Facebook albeit not very often. Recently I received an invite to attend a secondary school reunion and with that in mind and current stories floating around, it got me thinking of an incident from my school days.

Before I tell you my tale I’ll recap on the stories that caught my attention. The first is of Rufaro Chisango, a Nottingham Trent University student who, as the media put it, ‘believes’ she was targeted with racial abuse. Now considering she was the only Black person on her floor and they were stood right outside of her room chanting ‘We hate the Blacks’ and other such ish, AND she’s got it on video, I would say it’s more than a belief.

This happened on a Monday evening and was reported straight away, by Wednesday night she had heard nothing back so took to Twitter. Funnily enough Nottingham Trent took an interest after that and 2 men have since been suspended and arrested. Lovely. But if she hadn’t taken to social media to highlight this when were they going to make the time to address it?

The next one is of a student at De Montfort University who was invited out on a girls night by course mates only to have them sing Eeny Meeny Miny Moe to her. One then later went on to call her a n****r to her face. She reported the incident but has since been suspended herself because of a second, apparently more serious accusation of intimidation on her part. The university says, ‘It is an extremely sensitive issue. There are a number of aspects which need to be explored.’

I totally understand that, but what I don’t understand is why it took over a month for the Black students complaint to be addressed, and when it was they focused on the second complaint made afterwards by the White girls and suspended her. If accusations have been made by both sides why not suspend them all until their investigation is complete?

The last being the one of seven white teenagers who chained a Black student to a lamppost and whipped him in a mock slave auction. He was hit with sticks and racially abused as they discussed their trade. In response to this they were all suspended for 2 weeks whilst 3 of them were expelled by the headteacher, however that decision was overturned by the board of governors in accordance to their statutory procedure, so the outcome has been they get to do the crime and get 2 weeks ‘time’. 2 weeks off school.

I’m sure they were absolutely devastated and have definitely learnt their lesson. They get to breeze back to school and think nothing of it. Has anyone taken into account how the victim feels having to come into school and face them 5 days a week knowing his suffering meant fuck all in the long run?

But that’s just the thing – our suffering means nothing to them in the long or short run. The same old rules and statutory procedures were not made with us in mind. I guarantee that if a bunch of Black boys had done the same to a White boy there would be no hesitation in expelling all of them.

It would be nice to think that the parents of those boys spent time out explaining how wrong their actions were but I highly doubt that happened and I’m not concerning myself with it. The best thing we can do is not sit around and presume others are raising their kids right.

I’m not sure how the victims parents have dealt with this situation, but if it were my child they would not be stepping foot back in that school and shit would be going down! I really don’t business. Yes, I know I’m repeating myself when I say this, but we need to prepare our kids for today’s times and they need to know OurStory. Don’t sugarcoat because the other types won’t be and I’m telling you they are looking for their time to come around again. #ItsAllJustALittleBitOfHIStoryRepeating

Now for my tale. I went to a predominately White school, with Asians being the largest minority and then Blacks. I was one of only two Black girls in my year, but by the time I left there were a fair amount representing. There were more boys in comparison but not that many. Personally I didn’t experience a lot of racism in school but there is one incident that I’ll never forget.

We lived in Chalvey and our school was in the next village of Cippenham, and the difference between the two places back then was noticeable. Chalvey had a majority of ethnic minorities and Cippenham was predominantly White. Back in the day we weren’t getting dropped off to school by our parents or taking a bus – we had to walk our ass through Hell or high water.

By the time I was a couple of years into secondary school there were a fair number of us (Black children) who had grown up together so we’d meet up on route and roll in together – safety in numbers and all that! For those of you old enough I’m sure you can remember starting secondary school. The kids in the years above you seemed grown in comparison to your just left middle school self. They have that air of authority because they’ve been there that little bit longer than you and naturally some like to show it. This was the case at my school too, only because they now had this invasion of Black boys it was open season on the brothers.

There was one particular group who were relentless in their taunts, bullying and verbal abuse. There’s no 2 ways about it – they were blatantly racist. Now you need to remember that the Black boys they were picking on were just that – boys. Puberty hadn’t set in yet and the only threat they bore was the colour of their skin. They used to literally chase them down, but that was soon to change.

A group of our peers got told about what was going on and weren’t having it! They sprung a little surprise on them after school and let’s just say they proved that day that White men can jump! There was no real damage done – a few got a little shaken up but nothing major, just enough for the fuckers to never try it again! The irony is one of the abusers now has a Black partner and has tried to make amends to a couple of them. He doesn’t understand why they are not receptive.

It could be the fact that it didn’t occur to him to do it 20 odd years ago, albeit better late than never, but he still puts it down to schoolboy ‘banter’ that should be water under the bridge. What he fails to see is his banter was their nightmare. It wasn’t fun for them you fuckwit, like it wasn’t fun for you when you were chased by a bunch of bigger boys that had you giving Usain Bolt and Woody Harrelson competition. You know you were out of order, own it! If you can’t come correct don’t come at all and even then, if you do, don’t expect to be forgiven.

I was lucky to grow up in a time where we had each other’s back – young, old, big or small. The sad truth is that if the same were to happen to a bunch of kids nowadays their peers probably wouldn’t be coming to help them but to take advantage somehow. Somewhere along the line the message of unity has been lost.

The above goes to show that it doesn’t matter how young or vulnerable they are they’re not exempt from the hatred. Reading, writing and arithmetic are not the only lessons they are learning. What makes it worse is the fact that a lot of our youth are helping the haters by living under the misguided sense that they own the streets and not realising that we are stronger and can achieve more together. It’s senseless and pathetic and I honestly fear for my daughters innocently getting caught up in those idiots escapades. They’ve got it hard enough already.

Parents I’m hollering at you…again! I’m talking specifically to the ones who don’t even try or turn a blind eye. No one said life was going to be easy and we’ve gotta do what we can to survive, but some of y’all are making it even harder for us by encouraging or enabling the bullshit.

EACH ONE TEACH ONE! It’s not just about reading, it’s about life!

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Can anyone tell me what happened to Spring?☃️

Each One Teach One! Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

Okay, I know I said that I’d explain my absence to you but instead of going in deep it’s easier (for now) to sum it up in one word – People. I don’t want to misinterpret myself and make it appear as if I’m not a people person, because I so am – it just has to be the right type of people.

Again, don’t misinterpret this as me hating on any particular group of people. I have a whole range of acquaintances, family and those close few I can call true friends in all colours, creeds, shapes and sizes. I will happily have a convo with a random stranger in a queue or buy a homeless person a munch. Overall I’m good with others. I was brought up with manners which have stuck and more time if I don’t say hello when I’m out it’s because I didn’t see you or I’m in my thoughts somewhere. Yep, me and the populous are just fine. When I talk about ‘people’ I mean the alternative Black definition.

For those of you who don’t know let me clarify. ‘People’ can be one person or a group. For whatever reason they have overstepped the mark or caused upset of some kind, minor or major. If you’re addressed as ‘people’ it’s usually in the form of a sometimes subtle, sometimes not, warning and it can also be used in exchange of an expletive. Basically you are/are being a cunt.

I’ve spoken about the lack of humanity previously on a couple of occasions and find myself here again. Unless you’re totally devoid of any emotion there’s at least one thing or one time you can think of where someone’s actions had you asking wtf, why would anybody do that? My main ‘people’ problem has been a continuous saga that I’m hoping I’ll see the end of soon – I’m sure there are plenty that can relate. But on top of our own personal ‘people’ issues there is a major global ‘people’ problem that we all need to be watching with side eye whilst googling the easiest way to build a fallout shelter – AmeriKKKa I’m talking to you.

I’m aware we have our own issues to focus on in Grate Britain and Resident Chump is known to air his petty, small minded, racist opinion on a multitude of subjects at any given time, but I found it hard to ignore his comment about immigrants from “shithole countries”. For the longest while I’ve wanted to know my true heritage and trace my roots by building a family tree. The Mr and my daughters caught the big ass hints I dropped all year and bought me an ancestry dna testing kit for my birthday. Not that I didn’t already know I was of African descent, it was amazing to have confirmation that I am 97% African Queen…and 3% Irish, and I honestly love it and couldn’t be prouder.

Ideally I would love to visit every country that came up as a dna hit. So far I can only cross Ireland off of the list. It’s a beautiful place which reminded me of the West Indies and is why I nicknamed it Irieland. Little did I know then it was in my blood blud! I want to save the full breakdown of the remaining countries for another blog sometime soon.

According to Chump the rest of the places I want to visit are shitholes or shithouses depending on what you read. In R.I.P’d Off (Part 8), I spoke about Haiti and their struggles and I suggest Chump checks up on his history before washing his mouth on these countries, as they were not shitholes before the White man “discovered” any of them. Where’s the millions of dollars the American Red Cross had to help rebuild Haiti after the the horrors they faced? We won’t even start on the people, precious gems and natural resources you’ve managed to pillage over centuries from the other shitholes…

#PeopleNeedToWatchWhatTheySayBeforeItGetsThemInTrouble

It takes every kinda people to make what life’s about, but you shouldn’t let every kinda ‘people’ take the piss. Trust me I know in some circumstances it’s hard as your hands are tied, but I believe in karma so I’m focusing more on letting her do the job. How we deal with any kind of people is up to us and how much time and energy we are willing to give, as the majority of us know how precious time is.

Weigh up if it’s worth it and if it is do your thang! I’m not so sure about AmeriKKKa leaving it to karma to deal with their issues though. I honestly don’t know what they were expecting when they elected Resident Chump to run the country but I can 100% believe his reaction was as written in Fire and Fury. Not even he thought y’all would be dumb enough to elect him!

The joke has gone far enough. Even Mother Nature is clearly showing us she’s vex with him (ok yes, and the rest of the world!) at not recognising global warming, sending in her own version of Fire and Fury. I don’t know the ins and outs of this North Korea madness, but I do know I don’t trust either sides leaders and the downside is the possibility of WW3 – which could effect us all. That is, of course, if he decides he wants to be our friend again and come over to our house to play.

As for his medical check up – can we say all say ‘fake news’. He can’t even tell the truth about his height ffs! It’s all good though. Maybe his heart will give out before too long, oh wait, you have to have one first. Serious times call for serious measures. AmeriKKKa wake up and impeach this clown before he takes your country to the point of no return.

I will give him credit where it’s due though. He promised to make AmeriKKKa great again and he’s definitely hit the target. You’ve got the greatest dickhead for president.

R.I.P Cyrille Regis and all those who have lost their lives this week.

Watch Your Mouth, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife