You may want to grab a beverage and a comfy seat. This is long. In every sense of the word!
I gave a warning in Reality Check 1, Cheque 2, Check Me! (Part 3) that I would not be allowing anyone to disturb my newfound level of peace, and in doing so I’ve recently had to lock off a friend. After a few back and forth messages I put a halt to it, and I meant it, but I would like to break some things down because as much as I tried to prevent it, some of their energy seeped through, so I’m releasing it here so that they, and anyone else who wants to move to me in the same manor can comprehend and maybe learn from it.
I don’t do riddles, I do real talk. If you have something to say to me, or I have upset you in some way, for the love of what’s good, TALK DA TING! I won’t be held responsible for making you feel a way about a matter I have no knowledge of.
In this particular case, I’d only recently started speaking to this person again after I was informed that I had let them down, I hadn’t told them about stuff I had been doing, I wasn’t a good friend and they wanted nothing more to do with me.
At the time I was going through a family bereavement and had forgotten to message them back. I did so a week later to get the response I got. I was happy to leave it because honestly, I had enough going on, and if they couldn’t take the time out to even ask me what was occurring in my life it was all good.
Roll on some months later and they kept popping into my head so I decided to hold out the olive branch and contact them. Despite our not talking they had been a good friend on and off and helped me out personally – and they were only on strike 2! They accepted the gesture and we discussed the events that led up to us not talking and aired out our grievances.
We were good. Or so I thought.
I’ve put a new Instagram page up to showcase the blogs and impending podcasts, but before I did so I previewed the look to a handful of family and friends via WhatsApp – them included, as I’d been pulled up on not doing so before. They gave it a ‘heart’ and then proceeded to ask me why I hadn’t mentioned their business in my post…
Huh?…
I was confused, so asked them to elaborate. By all accounts I’d put up a post about something I’d bought and because I’d bought similar from them they wanted to know why I hadn’t included them in it.
The post they were speaking about I had posted nearly 3 weeks previously, and it was because I had purchased the items that same day that I decided to post about it. I told them this and said that I would hail their business up when I set my new page up. They then went on to say that it was from a viewpoint of them making me things and having a shop and it sounds impersonal to just shout out the business.
Now, If I had purchased something from them recently I could understand them mentioning it, but the fact is the last time I bought anything from them was about 7 years ago. They haven’t advertised their shop that I’m aware of, and if they did and asked me to share it I would without a doubt. The reason I bought these particular items in the first place was a post popped up and grabbed my attention.
Lesson 1: What you sow you reap. This works on many a level. They weren’t exactly in the forefront of my mind, but I’m presuming this person thought they should be and possibly could have been if they’d put a little effort in themselves.
I went on to remind them that I have given them their flowers recently and on several occasions previously and would once again do so when I set up the page.
Lesson 2: It’s always good to talk but it’s also good to know when to stop. This should have been a 2 paragraph tale at best, and one which should have contained the words, ‘Wow! That looks great Dawn. Well done. I’m really happy for you!’…or similar words to that effect.
Not a dicky bird! Instead they decided to continue further by saying they just felt they had to say something, which in turn made me want to say something and ask them if they’re actually ok? If I hadn’t been in contact when exactly were they going to tell me they were feeling some type of way and this shit was burning their chest? Furthermore, how often do they share my blogs? But I don’t watch that and do me and still manage to celebrate them, so where is the energy coming from? And believe me, I felt it coming.
I kid you not, it was like grey clouds coming to block my good, good sunshine. I could feel them creeping in. They responded back.
Lesson 3: Watch what you say and how you say it. Yes, things can be misconstrued via text message, but even still, sometimes shade is just fucking shade.
This person may not have thought they were being shady and to be fair, it’s my fault in part. They’re a straight talker, but every now and then over the years they have slid in little comments that to the untrained ear sound like nothing but jest, but to me smell like something else. I never paid them no mind as I’m secure enough to brush it off, and tbh I think it’s so ingrained in them they don’t even realise they’re doing it.
Within the last paragraph I was told that they didn’t need to constantly big me up as they are not a fan they’re my friend, and they’re sad I think it’s about giving them flowers. They then informed me that they were done with this and they were sure we both had better things to do…
Again I was confused. That’s when I felt the tingle. Combined with the smell I knew that I was having an allergic reaction. BFD* was about! I text back a couple of hearts and left it at that with them, but our conversation inspired me to write a Facebook post.
I now ask you to remember Lesson 2 because some people really don’t know when enough is enough. Y’all wouldn’t even be hearing about this had folk just quit whilst they were ahead, but after seeing the Facebook post a few days later they decided they weren’t quite done yet and sent me a wonderful message full of love and praise and reminiscing on times of old with ‘all of the scrabbling, falling out and pissing each other off…’
I think I know what they were attempting to do but it in fact had the opposite effect. Firstly, it was literally days late and a dollar short. They should have come with that energy from the get go, not after being prompted by a social media post. Secondly, pointing out all of the scrabbling, falling out and pissing each other off only went to highlight that 99.9999999% of the time it was caused by some kind of issue they held with me, and me allowing it.
I don’t know about you but I like to listen to my gut instinct. It hasn’t served me wrong so far, and I swear mine has been fine tuned since my time away. Every fibre of my being was saying allow this one – but properly! I listened. I didn’t respond back.
A week later I got a message asking what’s going on with me as there was obviously something up.
As much as I want to keep my peace I thought it only fair to give some kind of closure, so messaged a short text back stating that there was a lot going on but it was too long to break down. I asked them to re-read our messages then read Reality Check…3 and go with love because I don’t have the energy for their energy.
LESSON 2 Y’ALL. LESSON👏🏾TWO!👏🏾
Instead of thinking let me stop now they felt the need to go again. I didn’t respond but things they said triggered me; which is why I’m here typing this long ass blog!😂
They said I have some disingenuous people around me, but they can assure me they have never been one of them.
At this point I’m wondering if they know what the word actually means?
They didn’t mention any particular people, but if you’re gonna throw out big, bold statements like that amongst my friends you put yourself in the spotlight and up for appraisal too. You can talk on and feel any which way you want to about me, but let me tell you about my true people – and I’m going to use Christina Brooks-Abraham as the perfect example.
She was sincerely one of the realest people you could hope to meet. She not only knew her shit stunk but she’d give you a blow by blow account of the texture if you wanted it.😂
She held no airs and graces and welcomed you with love and a smile. I know there were some who didn’t like her – we’d spoken about it, and it’s natural that not everybody is going to like you, regardless of how nice you are, and she in turn didn’t warm to a few, but not many. I also know that if some had tried to talk to her about whatever their issue with her was, instead of holding it in and letting it fester, she would have gladly listened to them and more than likely resolve it. No one is perfect and I’m not saying she was, but damn her heart was huge, understanding and forgiving.
In all our years of friendship I never had anything but love shown and words of advice and wisdom from her and her family. No scrabbling, falling out and pissing each other off – not once. She supported me in ALL of my endeavours and heartaches, and not just me but my family too. She was a part of the Mistletoe And Wine family and was there to support my husbands promotions in whichever way she could.
She loved our love and was honestly like a big sister. It was she who insisted and persisted in telling me about the power of forgiveness and speaking my truth, and if it wasn’t for her and her daughter Tanya, I wouldn’t have started writing when I did. Going through the blogs not many people took the time out to leave a comment, but she was the most consistent and I will treasure each one.
That is the type of people, energy and vibe I want to be surrounded by.
I may go by the name NuDawn but it’s not a persona. I’m not a celebrity – I’m just me. I don’t believe I’m something extra special. I have never claimed any of my friends or acquaintances to be ‘fans’. If I’m liked it’s probably because of Lesson 1. I put out love and receive it.
At no point has Tina or ANY of my genuine friends stepped to me with the energy that this person has, well, not since 2018 anyway, and I nipped that ish in the bud.
So imma put it to you guys – who sounds more disingenuous to you?
The friend in question also stated that they were not going to read my blogs and would wait for me to address them as that’s the respectful grown up thing to do. About that…
I told y’all I’m still doing the work with forgiveness but that’s not all I’m working on. I can’t stress enough the importance of self love and preservation, and part of that is knowing when to be adult enough to not bite and draw that type of energy in. I’m about respecting myself and if that doesn’t work for you or you want to label me as whatever I truthfully have zero fucks to give.
So with that in mind I’m restricting my boundaries even further – much to the delight of my husband I’m sure – the 3 Strikes rule is now completely null and void and the By Any Means Necessary Protocol is in FULL effect!
Phhhhewww!!! Now admit it, you feel a piece drained just reading that right? Y’all had to top up that drink and draw for the ‘erbs and sage init!? If you felt it through the blog can you imagine taking it on!?!?
With all of that said you’d think I hate them but I don’t and I hope it hasn’t come across that way, but I can’t be around them and they’re gonna have a long old wait for me to present myself to them. Personally I believe that they’d do well to read my blogs but to each their own. They are super talented and have the power and ability to be great but they’re blocking themselves with that energy.
Lesson 4: Some people are just too inna. Inna drama, inna their feelings and inna other peoples business when really and truly the only inna they need to be focusing on is their inner self.
R.I.P Josie Heywood, Harry Belafonte and all those who have lost their lives recently.
Happy 21st Earthday/Birthday to my last born Princess Sadé. The world is yours – own it!
*BFD – Bullshit, Fuckery & Drama! Refer to Part 1 for further context. (Link)
Know Your Boundaries, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
My firstborn asked me if there was anything I’ve got to tell her after my declaration of love at the end of last week’s post. I’m guessing once bitten twice shy and all that, but I reassured her that to the best of my knowledge I’m good, and explained my reasoning, so I’m going to fill you in too.
I previously said that I went away to an ultimately life changing retreat at the end of January, what I didn’t tell you was that on the same day I returned home, within not 10 minutes of me stepping through the front door, a very good friend of mine, Christina Brooks-Abraham, aka Queen Mama T and a plethora of other titles, suddenly passed away.
She hadn’t been well recently and had set up a WhatsApp group so that the many people who were interested in her welfare and checking in could all be in the one space, and I’d sent a message a couple of hours earlier bidding her and the others good morning, excited to tell her about what I’d experienced when I got home. We had many conversations over the decades, and throughout the cancer and family drama I went through she was the most persistent in telling me about forgiveness and its importance.
I understood the concept but couldn’t quite grasp it, until I did!, and she was the first person I wanted to tell.
She never got that message, and I’m not going to go into details of her passing just yet as there is an impending podcast with her daughters that will cover the events, but to say despite her being ill it was totally unexpected is to say the least. You can be focused looking one way and then life will throw a curveball and lick you in the head.
The following week after Tina passed I lost another friend, and then 2 weeks ago another Queen. We’d been friends for many years, and she too had given me sound advice throughout the crazy that was my life, but we hadn’t been talking recently. She had been ill for a couple of years and I know she was having a hard time with the effects of her illness and treatment, enough for it to dim her light and make her want to isolate, and I understood that. Our disagreement was trivial by any standard and I believe exacerbated by outside ‘people’. I was hoping that given time we would work it out but that wasn’t to be the case.
I admit that for a moment I questioned myself as to should I attend her funeral. I’m not sure what she’d told people and didn’t want to have them questioning why I was there. But the thing is, even though we weren’t speaking that didn’t effect the love I had for her. I still lit my candle and sent it her way regardless. I can’t deny that our disagreement hurt and upset me, but in no way near enough to not care.
So I’ve decided that I will attend, even if it’s just the church service. I have faith that she’ll know it’s down to the love and not just to be ‘inna’* and I’d like to pay my respects.
I’m not religious. I can’t deal with all the isms, skisms and nonces that come attached. I’ve always been a more spiritual being, even from my younger days. Despite “fitting in” to a certain degree I’ve always been a piece dry!😂 – well, to those who are bothered by the superficial at least. That sense of being a free spirit has been present for as long as I can remember. I just do my thing and live and let live, unless it’s something dastardly, but in general I’m happy to sip water and mind my business…preferably coconut and in the sunshine with some tunes and a few choice ‘erbs**, but I digress.
Personally I find religion divisive and critical, BUT I understand people wanting to have faith in something, so attempt not to judge others beliefs. If it helps you make it through the day and you’re not hurting anyone or yourself, do you boo! It’s what I’ve had to lean on. Faith that the higher power knows what the fuck she’s doing.
When mum passed away I knew that I had attempted to and done the best for her within my capacity, but I wondered if she knew it. Dementia’s a bitch. She had her lucid moments but they were very few and far between. Words my siblings said rang in my head. She didn’t want to be put in a home. She had assumed that her children would do for her what she had done for them for so many years. That could well have been the case, but she assumed love would be worth more than money, bricks and mortar, and as they say, to assume makes an ass of you and me.
So I did what had to be done to ensure she was the most safe and secure. I couldn’t give her her home but I could give her my love, time and attention. I could make new memories, even if they only lasted the day or a few hours.
I’ve always had faith, but not of the religious kind. I believe that love will see me through. Have no doubt, I’ve seriously questioned the hell out of certain circumstances, but could always rely on it in some way, be that of thyself or through others.
I got the answers I needed at the retreat, and with that a better understanding of death, and the loss I felt is nowhere near where it was – to the point of me being able to not bawl at How Great Thou Art and you can safely play Rise Up by Andra Day without having to offer me a tissue. I still get sad but they’re happier tears if that makes any sense, and I am fully aware that’s it’s ok to cry, whatever kinda tears they may be. It’s invariably better out than in.
The truth is if faith and fate hadn’t put me where I was I don’t know how I’d have handled all the losses of late on top of everything else, especially the complete randomness of a couple, and that is the realist of real talks! I’ve always believed that your spirit moves on from the vessel – the transition – and I think I’ve had confirmation. In fact I’m pretty certain. I know some of you will be wondering what planet I’m on but I legit don’t give a shit! It’s allowed me to deal and heal so with all due respect y’all can feel any which way you want!
My deepest, sincerest condolences and sympathies going out to all of the bereaved. Sending love, light and healing vibes your way, and to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Shouting out the WhatsApp Wellbeing Group, with a special mention for Khadijah and Serenity.
It’s a joy to watch you both grow.
*The Black populous will understand what I mean, and for those who don’t understand just know you don’t wanna be it!
**I feel like I may have said this before somewhere along the line…🤔…if you read it again in a previous blog you’ll know I’m being truly sincere!😂
Eid Mubarak to all those who are celebrating today.
You’ve Gotta Have Faith, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
“Only love can set you free
Love will be everything you need
A little faith, charity
If you just believe
Open up, let it in
It will change everything, really
Love is life, love is free
If you only just believe.”
Kelly Price ~ Love Sets You Free
Well dang!, it’s been a while! How you doing? I’d like to think you’re all ok, but I know for a fact that 2023 came in firing shots left, right and centre and nuff people caught them strays.
I’d love to say I managed to avoid being hit but that’s not the case. January was one hell of a month with twists and turns I’d never imagined – like, NEVER! I’ll get around to sharing some of those later, but firstly let me give you a lil’ overview.
I decided to write the Reality Check… blogs to cover three aspects of my life – Health, Wealth and Happiness. Supposedly the most important 3 things you need in life, which I agree with, but not necessarily in that order. I believe if you’re happy you’ll have an easier time with the other two (that’s just my philosophy!), but nevertheless I put them in that order. I made a start with parts 1 and 2, but didn’t feel ready for part 3.
I attempted on several occasions but could never get past a few paragraphs. I’d made actual steps to work on the health and wealth side (updates pending!), but the happiness part needed work! If you’ve read any of the Disclaimers, Tales Of The Dales or Family Matters you’d know this as I made my feelings and emotions crystal clear to say the least!😅
One of the main reasons I wanted to write my blogs was to tell my side of a sad, mad tale of fuckery and heartache that had been and continued to be in my life for the past few years.
It’s crazy the way the world works! I thought after mum had passed that I was ok-ish, well, ok-ish in the sense that I no longer had to be around certain members of my family and I knew that mum was at peace so it was fine. Huh! Little did I know the truth was on her way to slap me in the face and claw at my heart.
Mum passed away on the 3rd January 2020, and despite knowing she’s at peace whenever the anniversary rolled around I still couldn’t help but feel emotional and miss her. The week after the anniversary I attended a funeral of an old family friend of my mums. You need to consider my emotions were already high, and now I’m sat in a church listening to all of the hymns she loved and feeling the grieving family’s loss too.
I fully expected my brother to be there, so wasn’t surprised to see him. What I didn’t expect was for him to give a speech. It wasn’t in the order of service so I was totally blindsided. He and another lady were front and centre so I had no option but to look at him. I felt my heartbeat quicken and my ears getting warm and muffled. The first sign. A few folk know there is no love lost between us, and as I’ve mentioned I have spoken about it openly, so I knew a few eyes would be on me. Then as luck would have it a mobile rang out and everyone looked to see whose it was. Unfortunately it was the woman’s sat next to me, so if folk didn’t know I was sat there feeling uncomfortable as fuck they soon got to know.
I was with my husband but he’d had to pop out to move the car before he got a ticket, so the spotlight was fully on me and I was without my force field. Then it was my brothers turn to speak and as I listened to a particular story he regaled I felt like I was being battered emotionally. My chest hurt. My head hurt. My throat was closing and the hottest silent tears were streaming down my face. When I tell you I had to hold my shit together you honestly don’t know! My body was doing that shaky business when you try to hold the sobs in, and then I felt a hand on my shoulder from my friend Maureen sat on the pew behind me, and another old family friend, Geraldine, gave my knee a squeeze and sympathetic eyes over her face mask. Much appreciated Queens.
There were too many emotions in the mix, but the most predominant one was rage. Sign two. His ending line almost took me out. I realised I had been holding my breath. I wanted to scream and shout and get up there and rip his throat out, but naturally was aware of where I was so tried to focus on breathing and remaining sane. And then he was done and moseyed on back to his seat whilst I was left a teary mess.
After the service I had numerous people approach me and tell me how moved they were by my brothers heartfelt speech but I couldn’t manage to agree. As much as I didn’t want to cause a scene, there’s no way I could stand there and pretend I’d enjoyed it. I kept it civil but known that that was very much their opinion, but having been a part of the tale he’d told I had a slightly different outlook.
When I got home and reflected on things I understood that I’d only been fooling my damn self into thinking I was over the hold they had on me. I’d managed to disguise it because they were out of sight out of mind, but the higher power was CLEARLY telling me you gon’ learn today bitch!😂
I got the message that day, which is the only way you can truly deal with your issues is to deal with them head on. When you can face it and it doesn’t phase you only then can you claim to be good with it. With all of the above and other little signs I knew á la Kevin Hart – she wasn’t ready!! Fortunately for me I’m grounded enough to know what my issues are and I knew I had to find a way to handle it.
Even more fortunately for me, the week before I had accepted an offer to go away to a retreat for a few days at the end of the month, which turned out to be the beginning and the end. Beginning of the true NuDawn and an end to the ties. I’ve always been about the love, and love truly is key, but there was a big piece of me that had a VERY hard time with forgiveness, especially for my siblings and the years of bullshit.
I have finally found peace and it has been a long time coming. I’ve said time and again that I try to protect and preserve it but this!…this time is different. Hear me when I say:
NO ONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO DISTURB MY PEACE!
NO👏🏾ONE👏🏾
Love really did set me free and I will be deflecting all negative and/or toxic energy by using an any means necessary protocol. I’m not having it. End of. If you don’t hear me you will most definitely feel me.
I can honestly say I’m good now, but that road was far from fucking easy! I’ve re-read some of the old blogs and could clearly remember the thoughts and feelings, yet luckily for those involved they carry no weight now. I say luckily for them because the tea that was going to be spilled woulda had the devil begging to cool it down! When I say I’m the keeper of receipts MARK MY WORDS! That energy has gone* and been replaced, but it was a part of me, and I’m not about to deny it or shy away from it. You’ve got to know where you’re coming from to know where you’re going to.
I’ll be wrapping up Tales Of The Dales with a couple more chapters, but before I do I’m going to re-share the blogs containing the events that would be the pathway to eventually lead me to being the most at peace I’ve ever experienced in my Earthly existence to date. It turns out the signs were there, and although they had been acknowledged I didn’t have a scooby about their capacity!
With all of the above being said, I feel the need to write this now more than ever, in black and white so there can be no doubt. To all of my loved ones – friends and family alike – and anyone who has shown me love or bettered my life in any way, shape or form, I love you all and feel blessed to have received it and given it in return. Should I pass away tomorrow know that I managed to overcome all of the madness and sadness I’ve written about over the years and I am truly happy. The missing piece of my puzzle is complete. I’m genuinely all good and thankh you all WHOLEheartedly.
There will be an accompanying podcast to go over each blog because tbh, as much as I like writing it’d be way too much to type!
R.I.P Christina Brooks-Abraham, Paul Muhammad, Maureen De Silva, Tara Bailey and all those who have lost their lives recently.
Thee most amount of love and thankhs going out to Josh, Leon, Empress Naïma and the whole Daily Deposits Tribe! Y’all don’t even know!🖤💚
*Mostly! I’m still doing the work and saying the mantras so don’t test the waters just yet. They may still be a lil’ choppy!
Only Love Can Set You Free, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
“Children, children…
Yes Papa,
Where have you been to?
Grandmama,
How is she keeping?
Safe and sound,
What did she teach you?
DON’T BEND DOWN!”
Lloyd Lovindeer ~ Don’t Bend Down
I decided a while ago that when I returned back to work after taking care of Mum it wouldn’t be working for ‘the man’ wherever possible, and primarily it would be doing something that I’d always wanted to do. Obviously I know that it’s easier said than done. Them bills gotta be paid!, and it’s not easy out there for everyday folk.
I’m thankful that my circumstances so far have allowed me to stick to what I have decided – for now anyway. I’ve never been about the money. I know there are plenty of people out there who are on their grind constantly to make that paper and spend it on the highlife. I totally get that and more power to you, but that has never been the life for me. I’m not big on the materialistic. I’m not hating. Some people assume that’s your temperament because you don’t have the money, and your thinking would be different if you could afford it. I can’t deny they’re right in part, but it’s a very small part.
If I had a wealth of disposable income I’d no doubt have a few nice little touches – but honestly, overall I’m happy with my lot – which can sometimes be hard for others to understand or believe. I’ve already explained in Can You Feel The Beat?, so I won’t go over it all again – just know that there are many of us out here who it takes very little to make happy, and despite what you may think, we’re good! In that blog I talk about certain beats in life and setting your levels, and it’s exactly that that has me writing this today.
As I mentioned in Check 1, last year I was (still am!) going through some thaanggs, and my mojo took a hit to say the least. I had plans, thoughts and ideas but it was a struggle to get myself together and, full disclosure, certain things are still a struggle; but this year has been a lot more progressive, and an opportunity arose for me to do some work that I enjoyed and would be paid to do – a win-win if ever I saw one, so naturally I accepted the offer. I had a couple of meetings with them and then I started to feel the beat; and it was off!
Now I need to pause right here and give props to Queen Kelechi Okafor. If it wasn’t for me tuning in to her podcast and choosing the third tarot card reading people would be getting fully bought out and exposed.
F👏🏾U👏🏾L👏🏾L👏🏾Y!
But, I’m going to heed what was advised and hold my corner for now. Instead I’ll break it down like this:
The Beat
By beat, I mean what tune is being played? Are you in sync and rocking together, or is someone playing you like a fiddle and expecting you to jump to their beat? I had a few crystal clear signs that the people I was dealing with were of the latter thinking and that nah ga’ work! When you’re running or conducting business there is a basic standard and/or principle that should be set and, to be fair, it’s really not that fucking hard to do. Communication is key, and in this day and age there really are no excuses to be had when it comes to putting it into practice! But when you’re dealing with certain demographics it’s not about how easy or hard things are, it’s more to do with who they think they are.
Without getting too deep into my particular situation, the Black/White ratio was an issue here. And trust me, this isn’t about me playing the race card – more the raas card!
The Levels
Setting your levels is highly important. It’s basically another way of saying KNOW YOUR WORTH. People can only treat you how you allow them to. What are you willing to contend with? What are you willing to do or not do? How long do you let shit slide for? What are your boundaries? Under the right circumstances I’m pretty patient and tolerant. I know that we’re only human and things don’t always go according to plan and mistakes can be made, I’m not unreasonable; but understand when it looks and smells like a piss take know you get 3 strikes* and then you’re out! I really don’t business. That’s one of the levels I’ve set for myself as life is way too short to waste on fuckery and my time is precious!
There are things we all want in life no mater how big or small, cheap or expensive. How we go about getting it and what we’re willing to do for it is another thing. You should never be made to feel less than or tolerated, especially when the example others set are below your standards. I, for one, am not willing to play small, do myself down or sell my soul to the devil to get mine or what you have to offer. It sometimes amazes me what others will put up with to stunt on others.
Grandmama was giving her grandkids a reality cheque! Money can’t buy everything, especially integrity, and you don’t have to bend down or over and assume the position to get yours! Have faith, your time will come, and without you having to put up with other peoples shit.
For those who believe they are entitled to treat others like a claart don’t be surprised when you get raased up!
WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME!
R.I.P Desmond Tutu, Betty White and to all those who have lost their lives recently, and forever remembering those who have passed away.
Wishing you all a Very Happy, Healthy & Blessed New Year And Beyond🖤
*Not every occurrence will get 3 chances, it depends on the severity – sometimes it’s one and done but, NEVER any more than 3!
Straighten Your Crown & Don’t Bend Down! Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
If you could put a face to the phrase ‘Doin’ It For The Kids’, I’m pretty sure it’d look like my guest this week! After being introduced to the Orchard Youth Club by her friends at the age of 11, Rebecca Richardson’s sense of community spirit was set in motion.
For those of you who don’t know, The Orchard was a staple hub of the Slough Black community, offering a range of amenities and events to cater for us – day or night! They often showcased a range of talents, introducing well known musical artists, comedians and parties galore. For Rebecca (Bex to her friends), the joy of learning street dance and the multiple activities that were on offer triggered a want in her to be part of the action; and she soon found herself volunteering, progressing on to being given a part time job.
Music has been front and centre in her life, and as a child, in the comfort of her grandmother’s living room, her love of singing developed. Influenced by the church and gospel music, she aspired to and couldn’t wait until she was old enough to join the choir. That love has blossomed into her creating choirs of her own, most notably to date the Soulful Sistas Quartet and The Slough Community Youth Soul Choir.
On 30th July this year the Soulful Sistas launched their official video of their rendition of the gospel classic Ain’t Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me Around. These Sistas are definitely doing it for themselves, with this being the first of many to come and appearances lined up to perform at festivals and other events in 2022.
Her work with the Youth Soul Choir has gone from strength to strength too. The choir itself being an amalgamation of several different local schools, and their most recent performance being at none other than The Royal Albert Hall. It was an amazing experience for all involved and the kind of boost she’s adamant about providing for the youth.
The biggest instigator of her putting the choir together was her late, great, super multi-talented cousin and Slough legend, Dani Richardson. After losing his battle with cancer in 2018, Rebecca wanted to make sure that his love and legacy of all things musical continued, and her hope is to get more kids involved in every aspect.
She recognises that there is a wealth of talent out there and doesn’t want to see them pigeonholed in the stereotypical vision of the masses. Maybe I’m just blessed to know these kind of people, but like my previous guests, the aura and energy that is given off when she speaks about things is palpable.
Her passion knows no bounds, and for years now she has dedicated her services to educating the kids – not just in the musical field, but in knowing who they are, where they came from and formulating on where they are heading to. After securing funding one of her first projects was creating a ‘Nuseum’ in the high street, a new style museum where the kids were taught a wealth of information – not just the bog standard teachings synonymous with our history.
She’s a strong believer that Black History Month should be scrapped and covered 365 days of the year, (which if you’ve read my blogs you’d know I’m a big advocate of! A podcast discussing this very subject coming soon!), and the focus should be on ALL aspects of Blackness – the good, the bad, the ugly, the absolutely amazingly blacknificent!
Over the summer she took part in the Marcus Rashford initiative, making sure that the children who needed food and entertainment throughout the holidays were covered and learning new skills in a fun and safe environment. A TikTok video of the children performing the Breakfast Challenge went viral, being viewed over 20,000 times and retweeted by Mr Rashford himself, hyping up the kids no end!
On top of doing it for the kids, she also does it for herself and the adults, performing with The Upfront Reggae Band, which she informs me she’s been involved with for over 20 years, playing gigs all over the country. We reminisce and catch the most jokes of days gone by when she reveals it was in Tree Tops that she was first ‘discovered’ by the band members. One day I’ll drop the outtakes and you can join in the jokes too! #WhenISeeYouSmile
I have known Bex for many years and it’s not hard to understand why she’s so well received. She has a fun and bubbly personality, and it also has to be said that she’s one of those women who smashes whatever it is they turn their hand to! Like seriously, she’s a great singer, banging cook, she can do hair and has a fantastic rapport with both youngsters and adults alike.
Her future wants and plans are to get more kids playing instruments that you wouldn’t necessarily associate young Black and ethnic minority children playing, and to eventually create an Urban Orchestra. She would also like to create cultural hubs that cater for the different ranges we have in our diverse town. Naturally she’ll start with the Black community, but can’t stress enough it’s ultimately about unity and having a connection and understanding of all cultures and hopes that the hubs will allow that to happen.
With her sense of purpose and determination there’s no doubt in my mind that she will achieve this and add to the multitude of good she has already done for the community of Slough. Queen salute going out to my girl!
If you would like to contact Rebecca or are interested in finding out more the Slough Community Youth Soul Choir you can find them on Facebook and Twitter
I don’t know many people out there who knew from an early age what they’d like to do with their life. Hell, I’m nearly 47 and only just putting my hopes and dreams into play! But for some, not only do they know, but they put in the work from the get go to make them come true and through.
This is most definitely the case for this weeks guest, Portia Walker. It’s the first time I’ve had the joy of meeting her in the flesh, but I’d heard about this young Slough woman many years previously. Although they are a little more prominent now (very little), having a super talented young Black girl playing football and killing it was a rarity back then, so naturally she stood out from the crowd.
At the tender age of eight years old and influenced by her older brother, she started playing football for local teams. By the age of 10 she was trialling for Arsenal, Chelsea and Fulham, who she eventually signed for, but after a few months made the change to Tottenham, also playing at West Ham, Millwall and back to Tottenham once more.
Her talent cannot be denied and she continued to blossom throughout the years, mixing the sport she loves with a variety of different jobs and promotions in between. She was fortunate enough when she was younger to escape the racism that seems to go hand in hand with the game, but by her teenage years she couldn’t help but notice the presence of it within the industry.
This was to have a detrimental effect on her passion for the game, with her coming to the conclusion that it was no longer for her as she feels that there will never be a change when it comes to the powers that be truly tackling the issue (pardon the pun!) – although her love for it still strongly remains and she is still involved in different aspects of the sport.
But being the woman that she is, she wasn’t about to just sit back and blend in with the shadows. Instead she used her voice and platform, and in 2020 not only called out the W.S.L (Women’s Super League), for their lack of diversity in their campaigns, but off of the back of it, the WSL made the change within 2 days of her highlighting it. Although she appreciated the gesture, she found it very frustrating that it took them being called out to take action.
Spurred on by this, she made a short film, ‘Is It Because I’m Black’, with input from a range of other females, again highlighting the challenges faced by women of colour and in general within the industry.
It’s got to be said that there is an amazing energy that this young lady exudes, and with her infectious smile it’s an easy interview to conduct. What’s even more pleasurable to see is the fact that she is 100% confident in her own skin and happy with who she is. She freely admits that she struggled academically, but she knew where her talents lie and believes that everybody should be given the chance to shine and excel at what they’re good at without having the pressure of other peoples expectations of what it means to be smart and successful.
She’s out, proud and unapologetic about it – which is so refreshing to see in one so young and especially with being part of the Caribbean community – as some are unfortunately still stuck in their homophobic ways.
She may well tick a few boxes, but don’t ever proceed to think about putting her in one. There’s no hiding in closets for my girl! She’s truly smashed it to pieces and is dancing around the bonfire made from the remnants – probably to tunes she’s spinning herself! Not one to sit on her laurels, Portia taught herself how to DJ during lockdown last year and her talent has taken her from strength to strength, taking her from being headhunted to have her own show on Croydon FM, to DJing for Lost Girl at Leeds Festival this year, holding her own in front of a massive crowd and enjoying every minute of it. In fact, since conducting our interview she has just finished touring with Lost Girl supporting Dappy.
With all of the above, advertising campaigns for Adidas and Nike, appearances on BT Sport and guest mixing for Capital Xtra all under her belt, this twenty two year old has already achieved more than most her age, but she’s adamant that you’ll be seeing and hearing a lot more of her in the future; and I have to say I believe it, I’m here for it and look forward to it!
If you would like to contact Portia you can find her on:
Instagram: PortiaWalkerr
