⚠️Warning: There’s strong language from the start. If you are easily offended you may want to allow this one!
Now I don’t want to bring a negative vibe, and to be fair this week hasn’t been all bad, but have you ever had one where you’ve dealt with or heard the most eye twitching, head shaking, brain numbing, frustrating, teeth gritting, blood boiling, deep breath inducing, would-be-funny-if-it-wasn’t-so-sad FUCKERY? I have, and coming from fellow brothers and sisters it’s quite disheartening. And as I’m the sharing type, I’ll give you a whiff of the shit I’ve happened across along my merry way.
Firstly I’m going to address the words of Ben Carson, who is the current US Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under the Trump administration. Now this man is a legend in his own right.
Before losing his mind he was the Director of Paediatric Neurosurgery from 1984 until his retirement in 2013 and performed some truly amazing and pioneering surgeries in his time, including the only successful separation of conjoined twins joined at the back of the head. Phenomenal! This man has worked wonders and has more accolades than you can shake a stick at which deserves a big WOW, and he’s still performing wonders by managing to prove how highly intelligent people can function whilst suffering from severe brain damage.
Mr Carson gave a speech on Monday which included this gem; “There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”
Really Ben? Really!? I’d hazard a guess that wasn’t the kind of dreams they were having whilst being forcibly taken from their homeland and shackled in the bottom of a ship, and if they were, it wasn’t that land of prosperity and happiness they wanted to see their family thrive in. Samuel L. Jackson summed it up neatly in one tweet! I know his use of the word motherf****r is a harsh one but it derives from a time where Mr Carson’s mind seems to have lapsed back to.
I heard there was a new superbug called the DJT45 Virus that’s infecting the brains of the susceptible and it has a whole host of nasty side effects – it’s possible he’s caught a dose. Or maybe he went one surgery too far and experimented on himself with disastrous results – his grey matter fading to a funky shade of off white, causing severe damage to the realness neurone. Shit can happen!
Either way, what was he thinking? How can he seriously compare the two? (They were both rhetorical questions by the way). He’s shown us what he is; a White House N****r plain and simple. He’s backtracked on what he’s said now but with little effect. The damage had already been done from the time he decided it would be appropriate to air that fuckery in the first place. #TakeTenBenAndLie Down
Moving swiftly on, I watched a 10 minute video that in itself evoked all the emotions in the first paragraph. It was of two men (well, one man and one wasteman) discussing what was happening on the streets today. The wasteman chose to keep his face hidden and pixelated for anonymity, though he’s apparently friends with the interviewer and they didn’t do anything to disguise his voice so if you’re from their “ends” I’m sure you’ll know who he is.
In all honesty just listening to him speak made me want to punch that cunt in the throat. Anyway, I’ve digressed from my main point which is it was a very candid discussion with this “man” explaining how things work. The first thing I noticed was how he got quite defensive when described as a roadman. He made it clear he’s not a roadman fam! He gets the youth to move the food (drugs) so he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty, yet it’s ok for him to have our youth doing his dirty work for him. But what does it matter, they’re getting paid right?
He purposely targets and encourages vulnerable children, especially those with no father figures in their lives, with a flash of the cash and a promise they’ll be living large and don’t have to work a £7.20 pittance of a job. He tells it straight – they are easy targets and a great catch when you get them young. He is the role model they’re looking up to.
In this day and age where material things mean more than anything the temptation is mighty real for a lot of them out there and he’s the modern day Fagin, sowing the seeds in impressionable young minds. Yet, when asked about his own children he was adamant that they would never be a part of that life, never get trapped.
He went as far as pulling what I think was a bullet out of his pocket to reiterate the lengths he would go to to protect them but he continued to glamourise the life and suck other people’s children in. If it’s so great, why wouldn’t he want it for his own flesh and blood? Hypocrisy much?
He touched on risks and consequences but they were only mentioned in regards to what would happen should someone lose his goods or try to swindle him and very little to do with the hard time they’d be doing should they get caught, in fact he stated that he’s not about going to jail which is why he encourages the youngers to do his bidding.
He blatantly mocked the interviewers good intentions and told him he could send out all the positive vibes he wants – they ain’t listening! The legitimate life is not the one that is going to get them the things they want. He’s making the most of the situation because that’s life and the way of the street. He made a good point on some of the wotless mothers out there who know what their child is doing, but as long as they’re bringing home that paper, it’s all good! No bitch, it’s not!
But then a lot of those mothers were babies having babies with not a lick of common sense so it’s inevitable that they’d think that way. Thankfully his words were not enough to put his friend off, and he eventually became so disgusted with their talk that he cut it short stating that he would continue to try and get through to the youths, which brings me to my conclusion on this subject.
I had a discussion recently about what they should be teaching our kids in school. I said that real life skills and knowledge should be on the curriculum where as my friend said it should be taught at home. My point is just because people become parents it doesn’t automatically mean they have what it takes to raise a child and teach them how to survive in the real world. Not all are cut out for the role or deserve the title and a lot of them are less mature than their bloody kids!
School is where you go to learn so teach them things that will help them once they pass the school gates. I would love to see people like the interviewer go into schools armed with things like the video and break it down to the kids – the same way the wasteman recruits them when they’re young, they need to know to watch out for these predators from young too.
Play the footage, pause it and make them understand each statement and that matey isn’t working in your best interest but his. As much as he seems like a father figure he wouldn’t have his own son or daughter living the life he wants you to so how has he got you? #RealTalkIsTheKey
The last waft of fuckery falls under the unnecessary bracket! Understand I am a superwoman of sorts, but I admit I am lacking in certain abilities – like flying and mind reading. It has come to light recently that I’ve upset a friend because of my inability to do the latter.
Apparently I should automatically know what they are thinking or how they are feeling and make them my priority despite what is happening in my life or their inability to be adult enough to tell me to my face or respond to communications. I can only imagine how I’m being portrayed by said friend as they can be quite a character to say the least, but at 42 I know my worth and am well over playground antics.
I have more than enough sincere and genuine friends in my life to have me begging anyone’s friendship so move and go ‘long with your petty fuckery, I’ve got bigger and more important fish to fry!
Rant over! Over and out!!
R.I.P to ally hose who have lost their lives this week.
Big belated love to all of the women of the world for Women’s Day!
Allow The Fuckery, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
After Monday nights Panorama: Life in Immigration Town was aired I felt the need to write this. Considering I’m a 42 year old, Black woman of immigrant parents who was born in Slough, raised in Chalvey and whose brother stood for UKIP for the same place, I can add my thoughts to the mix!
Firstly my own personal opinion on immigration is this; It’s a great thing and I love it. It’s nice to know you don’t have to stay in your one place of birth and can soak up new experiences elsewhere, or seek refuge should your sanctuary be destroyed through no fault of your own.
I’d like to think that should things go wrong (Brexodus) and I’m forced to flee my home I’d be welcomed with a sense of understanding and sympathy for my plight and a little, (or a lot) of love and humanity from others…a girl can dream can’t she?
Fortunately I’m awake enough to know that should that situation ever arise not all will be welcoming me with open arms…Hell, not all are welcoming me with open arms here in my hometown let alone elsewhere, but that’s a part of life. Some folk ain’t ever gon’ change and are ready to dislike you on looks alone which is their prerogative, but some things can be helped to curb the distaste.
Whether you choose or have to move to another country you should respect that country’s beliefs and traditions, which is more than doable without encroaching on your own beliefs.
If you can’t, then maybe you should find somewhere else to live. If you’re not prepared to work or contribute to that country in some way and only want to bleed their resources drier than they already are, then you should do one too.
That couldn’t be said of many immigrants when I was younger as they were, and the majority now still are, some of the hardest working people out there, but let’s not get it twisted, there are A LOT blatantly taking the piss and they need to be addressed.
Those who come over and abide by the rules and work to earn their keep have a right to live a life too. You can’t expect them to not use any resources. Naturally they’ll need to be housed, they’ll get ill and their children will need to be educated but somebody’s not doing the mathematics, and you don’t have to be Katherine Johnson to work it out! So who’s to blame? For me there is only one collective responsible and that’s the government. Side eye matey all you want but don’t hate the player hate the game!
When I was growing up the most predominant ethnic minority in Slough were Asians followed by West Indians. I’m of an age where I remember when White people use to run a good few shops in Chalvey and you could get most things from a trip down the road.
By my early teens you could notice the change more, as in not many, if any, White people running shops. It used to remind me a bit of Eastenders – The Foresters Arms being The Queen Vic, the launderette, chippy, I think the only thing missing was the market!, (but we had Ali’s and Jabbles so we were ok!)
You knew your neighbours and there was a sense of community between all races. That’s not to say there was never any racial tension every now and then but that’s to be expected – we live in the real world not a soap! The Foresters was one of four pubs, there was the Premier club (Treetops), working men’s club, the play centre, parks and Koolers bar for the youths – basically there were enough things, whatever age you were, to relieve some tension.
When you remove the stress relievers and add more people you get more tension which in turn breeds more hate. I’m not saying a pint or a game of pool is the answer to all of our problems, but I know it’d help some. I’m actually surprised they’ve left a piece of greenery and haven’t started building houses on the Rec yet!
I live on the cusp of Chalvey now, but I’m there more than 5 days a week as my mum still lives there. I visit the shops on a regular basis so know exactly what that elder had to say about the Romanians and believe me it’s not about being racist, it’s about being a realist.
If it were ANY group of individuals behaving the way they do I’d have something to say about it – they just happen to be immigrants and I’m not gonna feel a way about saying it or offending people. It’s not labelling, it is what it is.
I’m not saying it’s all of them who cause the disruption but there are a lot and I can imagine how some may feel intimidated by them as they literally stand in a pack as you try to walk around or through them. It’s funny though, if you walk a little further down the road, cut through by the recycling plant and across the fields you’ll never see a scene like the one being witnessed on the daily in Chalvey. But then they’ve got a castle and we’ve got a dump.
I have no problem with immigration – I have a problem with the people who control it…or rather don’t, which I’m sure a lot can relate to. I understand peoples frustrations and fears but there are ways to make your point heard and get your views across without it including racism, hate and/or antisocial behaviour. It should go without saying that if you’re an immigrant yourself UKIP is not the party you should be standing behind, in front of or next to.
To have a family member be that guy is not the one to say the least – I really didn’t have a clue until I saw his face on a flyer and was as shocked, surprised and confused as the rest of the majority of the Black community by his actions – but only for a hot minute. I then remembered who it was I was dealing with and soon realised he has all the attributes of what it takes to be a politician so would fit right in.
He actually had the audacity to accuse ME of making him look like a sellout because I chose to put a post up at the time on Facebook addressing the fact that it was not a family affair, as some had thought, and he stood firmly on his own. I would suggest him plastering his face on the flyer and knocking on people’s doors for votes might have made people think him a sellout but I could be wrong.
Slough’s not the greatest place to live but it’s not the worst and it’s my hometown. I can’t say I’ll live here for life, but it’s where I am right now and it’s given me some great memories. It’s not beyond being a great place, it just needs some love and attention. Lastly I’ve gotta ask where Panorama got their statistics from with the average weekly wage being £558!? Where was this poll taken? Which part? Whose wage? After tax? Can I get a job please?
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Home Is Where The Heart Is, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
It’s 8.27pm and I have just sat down after clearing up the kitchen, debating what this weeks topic would be about, something that I never have a problem with usually, but with life being life, time kinda slipped away from me and I realised I hadn’t given it a second thought.
A good friend of mine was stood in my front room, braiding my youngest hair and I asked her what I should write about this week. Now at the time there were two Queens and three Princesses up in the room and the elders (myself and friend), were catching jokes from the youth of today! (#Banter – they’ll understand this!😂) My friend suggested I talk about the rude ass youts out there but a much better subject was staring me right in the face.
No long thing as quite frankly I’m tired and I really need to take my contacts out as they’re slightly irritating me and I’ve got floaters moving about, but I wanted to put this good vibe out before the weekend is done completely and a fresh week greets us.
On Friday I was having a bad day with my feet which required me to use my stick. Doris had already stopped me for one day so I thought I’d get out whilst the going’s good – I hear her cousin Ewan is breezing through soon but with a little less oomph thankfully!🌪 Anyway back to my point, on my slow and steady trek into Queensmere I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of people that took the time out to hold a door and give a smile.
It’s something I do myself as standard but I’m sure we’ve all bucked up on one of the few that believe that’s part of your job description and mosey on through without acknowledging the gesture. I may have mentioned it before but I’m known to shout “YOU’RE WELCOME!”, just to clarify it didn’t open itself…ok drifting again, but seriously, it doesn’t matter how broke you are MANNERS DON’T COST A THING!…sorry, it had to be said, back to it now!
This weekend I’ve had kindness from strangers, a random chat with a fellow shopper, bumping into a few old faces (pleasant ones), catching up with a couple of the ladies yesterday whilst being tortured by 50 Shades Darker – and not in the good way. 50 Shades Drier is more like it, but it did give us something to laugh about.
That brings us to now, and my friend Nasheta having left just over an hour ago after what was suppose to be an hour visit at 3.30pm. I won’t bore you with the ins and outs, but it reminded me of how your life can be touched by the people in it and those who choose to show love, kindness and humanity – not because they’re after something, but simply because they care enough to do so.
The point is everyday people can affect your life, and every day people can affect your life, and when it’s with positive vibes you can’t help but want to pass them on. For every little and big gesture shown to me this week I am truly thankful and appreciative. It doesn’t go unnoticed and it’s put me in the right mindset for the week ahead. No Monday blues or Wednesday humpday but a Friday feeling all week long! (Here’s hoping anyway!)
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Nasheta, I got you!!
Pay It Forward, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
I’m glad we’re all different and have our own views, beliefs and opinions, (I know I’ve said it before, just wanted to reiterate!). I like sharing mine with you and appreciate others wanting to do the same, especially with the way the world is today, but some people’s opinions leave me baffled as to whether they actually believe their talk or if it’s just the easier option to facing reality.
If you’re unaware all Hell broke loose in Paris over two weeks ago after a Black 22 year old youth worker, known only as Theo, was arrested by four police officers, racially abused, spat at, beaten and “allegedly” sodomised. I’m suppose to use the word “allegedly” because this is the police we’re dealing with so naturally there are many logical explanations as to how a baton can get thrust up your back passage causing you to require surgery whilst four officers are out performing their protective duties.
I won’t even try to throw out a plausible scenario because I can’t, I’ll leave it to the “professionals”, but in my opinion it is what it is – a disgusting, deplorable act of violence and discrimination by racist police. No matter how they try to spin it the math will never add up and you’ll find it impossible to convince me of anything different.
It was one woman’s response to a post regarding the above that prompted me to write about this. She believes in The Law Of Attraction and was adamant everything in life is based on that. Now, I get the basics and even agree with it; we have the ability to attract things in our life that we focus on. If it’s negativity then expect it back and if it’s love, light, peace and prosperity then that’s what you can/should expect in return also.
I understand her thinking but the same rule cannot be applied for everything – it can only go so far for some, which was a point being made to her that she seemed to completely miss, so I’m throwing it out there to see if any other thinkers like her can explain it to me as I really don’t get how it can be condoned. I’ve heard it said by a few people but yet to hear a credible answer. It usually ends in “You don’t get it.”, or “It goes deeper than that!”. I’m giving you the time to enlighten me, I beg you please!
How does The Law Of Attraction apply when the law is attracted to doing you damage? How does it work when you’re throwing out that positive energy but receiving the negative back because of something you can’t change about yourself and shouldn’t have to? What LOA is it that sends rapists, racists, paedophiles and murderers to their victims? How do the victims, especially children, attract that kind of attention? To me it seems like a cop out so I’ll be eagerly awaiting your response to set me straight!
On a lighter note my fiancé and myself took the girls to see Hidden Figures yesterday and we loved every minute of it. A brilliant example of how determination, perseverance and understanding can lead the way forward. Some would say the LOA was in play here too but what was also evident in the film is that it wasn’t until the majority woke up to what the minority could achieve given a fair chance did great things happen!
1961 or 2017 – the same rule applies!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Shine Your Light, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Perhaps the only blessings that being diagnosed with cancer and the days following has given me are clarity and appreciation. My appreciation for life has given me more clarity and focus on the things that make life worth living.
Every minute is magical and it can take less time than that for something truly life changing to happen – be it good or bad, so make the time count with the good stuff. When the bad comes around you’ll have those days to look back on, and when the amazingly good comes around it’s an added bonus to the joy you were already having.
It’s really not about money, so no eye rolling and ‘I wish I could afford to’ talk! It comes from the simplest of things – a walk, a talk, a kiss, a hug, even a likkle rub-a-dub! A girly night where you reign supreme as the Black Jack Queen👑 – anything!
Good stuff comes in all sizes and a lot of it can be had for free. Unfortunately the same can be said of the bad stuff too, and this is when clarity comes into play.
Given time most of us can see the light. It’s made more effortless when you’ve actually experienced a significant life change; a bit like Scrooge being shown the error of his ways.
Our sense of decency and conscience should kick in, but again I suppose it depends on where you set your levels (Can You Feel The Beat?), but if some people got a taste of what they put others through would they be so eager to behave in the same way?
If they had a brush with death would they be so quick to wish it upon others? I like to think not, but we’re all wired differently, and for some it doesn’t matter the circumstance they will remain the same. That’s when the real challenge is on.
When it boils down to the nitty gritty and you know there are no other options but one; there is no fight or flight – it’s fight and fight harder because it’s for the greater good (and we’re all about the good!), that’s always worth putting in time for.
It ain’t easy – far, far from it, and obviously it’s easier if you’re part of a pack; but a lone wolf can change the game and David beat Goliath so there’s hope for us all!
I think mine is enhanced by being a Black Scorpio woman – by stereotype alone that’s a heady mix in itself without the added vision cancer brings. I don’t tick all of the stereotypical boxes by far, but some are marked in permanent ink.
I’m not afraid to talk up, possibly a little too much some would say, but I’d rather be heard than stay quiet, especially if it’s something worth fighting for, and I can differentiate between what should be given time and energy and what shouldn’t.
Yes, I can be fiery, emotional and passionate – what can I say, I’m only human, and it’s caused because I love, I care and I truly appreciate life. Understand I’m beyond wanting to willingly spend my time around toxic people, so if I do happen to find myself mixed up with those such types, believe it’s for the most precious of reasons.
Naturally my health is a factor. I’ve been given a gift that comes with conditions, one of those being to avoid stress, and although it may not look like it I am trying and promise to try harder!
I know my genuine friends and family are concerned and I heed their call. I have my annual check up in a few months time and I’m praying things are still ok, I’ve got a lot to look forward to!
In the meantime I will continue to make the good times count and keep fighting for who and what I believe in, even if it means fighting a human form of cancer in the process. #RealTalk.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit this week!….well I say lighten – it’s a joke to some but being a sufferer I know it’s not so funny. It’s a battle myself and many others have to live with on a daily basis. By todays headlines it’s actually being classed as a brain abnormality, which it could well be as I see nothing abnormal in the reactions it provokes. I’m talking about Misophonia.
What the hell is that you wonder, we’ll let me break it down for you. It’s people who cannot bear certain sounds, which in itself sounds ridiculous but trust me, it’s a thing! I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve wanted to throat punch someone for the ungodly and downright sickening experience of having to watch and hear them eat. Mouth open and…(OMG I can feel my heart rate intensifying and my right eye twitching just thinking about it), THE NOISES!! Like friggin’ pigs at a trough BUT THEY’RE HUMANS…supposedly!
I get some foods are noisy and you can’t avoid making a sound whilst eating them, but when you add your own sound effects on top of that you’re taking things to a whole new level. The slurping, clapping, smacking of lips alongside the moist squishy sounds incorporated with the view of the food being churned honestly makes me want to fuck you up – especially if I’m eating at the same time!! And then you get the ones who want to add to the mix and TALK to you too.✋🏾😷🤢😤😡😢
I actually know people who won’t say shit whilst putting the food on the fork but got plenty to say when their mouth is full. Why!?!? So on top of you freaking me out and pissing me off I have to avoid your missiles too!? Thanks, but sharing ain’t caring in this instance.
Obviously I can’t react in the way I would like to and repeatedly batter them or jook them in the eye with their fork so, wherever possible, I make efforts to remove myself from the offender whilst gritting my teeth, throwing them daggers and actively wishing they choke – just a little! Harsh I know but real talk all the same.
Misophonia isn’t just about food related noises, it can be any noise that triggers it in people; breathing, nails on a chalkboard, certain materials rubbing against another, even babies crying etc. Coming a close second to the eaters for me are, wait for it….balloons.
Again, I know it sounds ridiculous but I kid you not, one of the most truly disturbing times I’ve ever had is at a TGI Fridays. It put me right off my Jack Daniels shrimp I tell ya! It was like every child in there had a birthday – ok, maybe not every child but 4 at least, meaning 4 different sets of kids, and what did they do? Come out singing their ‘Happy, Happy Birthday’ ditty and make fucking balloon animals for every bastard one of them!
I was seriously traumatised. I felt physically sick and the tears were welling up. I felt hot and cold and had to put my headphones in and blast my music, cover my ears on top of that and rock gently whilst the rest of my family watched me with side eye as I told them to eat up, grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
It’s not even about them popping – it’s the sounds they make when they’re being handled – even the Almighty knows, it hits my soul and not in a good way. The struggle is real people! Believe that!
You may think you’re a bit weird sometimes but when you check it you’ve actually got more in common with most than you think. We all have our quirks and things that do our heads in or rub us up the wrong way. Some of it may seem irrational to others but we know different.
I realise I probably shouldn’t have given you that ammunition to use against me, but if any of you try it I will stab you safe in the knowledge it’s now been scientifically acknowledged as me having a brain abnormality and possibly get away with it! #JustSaying.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Hush Up, Stay Blessed and #CelebrateLife