Yakety Yak…

Well, my last post was the day after Manchester and now we’re nearly a week after London Bridge. My sentiments remain the same. Whatever theory you believe, or whoever you want to point the finger at, does not take away from the fact that it’s everyday people like me and you who end up suffering.

I know it can’t be easy for authorities to follow every suspect out there but there’s one thing I’d like someone to explain to me; why did nobody think to keep a closer eye on The Jihadis Next Door? You couldn’t get a bigger fucking whiff of suspicion if you tried. So it’s ok to use them for ratings and send them on their way knowing exactly what they’re all about? It’s one of many cock ups by the government that costs people’s lives and yet again my heart goes out to all innocents caught up in the madness.

Moving on, I’ve been wondering why it is that some people like to find their way all up in your business? It’s one thing if it’s been put out there by yourself; you can hardly complain if you’re vocal or post a status about something and people ask what’s going on. As far as I’m concerned if you’re putting it on social media it’s obviously not something you want to keep to yourself. I understand that sometimes you can’t go into full detail but feel so frustrated or upset over a situation you just want to vent – been there, done that!, but unlike some I won’t leave you in suspense or tell you to inbox me (attention seeking much!?), I’ll tell you straight I can’t divulge anymore just yet but you’ll know when the time’s right!

If I offer up information and people enquire about it that’s not being nosey…well, to an extent. No, I don’t have to tell all if I don’t want to, but if I’ve already kinda addressed a subject publicly I’d rather people ask than assume or presume and I will set the record straight either way. Despite not giving a rats arse what others think of me and having the ability to laugh it off the majority of the time, what sometimes irks me is when folk take it upon themselves to tell me their opinion of my life. If I’ve asked for it, crack on. I may not agree with everything you have to say but I’ll hear you out. If curiosity is really burning you, ask. I’d prefer it to assumption and innuendo. You will either be told the truth or to fuck off depending on the question, can’t say fairer than that! If, however, I haven’t asked or you don’t know me from Adam, could you please just hush your mouth. Respectfully.

An example of this happened recently. After an enjoyable meal with my hentourage we headed across the road to the Broadway Theatre to be entertained by a selection of fabulously talented women spreading that Black Girl Magic! At the end of the evening the host addressed myself congratulating me on my upcoming marriage and for being together for 25 years. Unbeknown to us, and as unlikely as it may seem, there just so happened to be another Dawn having her hen do that night who had been with her partner for 25 years too! Seriously, you couldn’t make it up! I’m not sure which one of us he was congratulating but we both shared the love. As we were preparing to leave Dawn2 and her crew paused on their way out to congratulate us and informed us of the coincidence. Niceties were exchanged and then one of her friends taps me on the arm as she passes by and says, “Yes darling, about bloody time too! 25 years is too long. It should have been done time ago!”

Oh is it?…says who?

I gave her a smile and a nod as my vibe was nice and I couldn’t be arsed to correct her. It’s possible that is her Dawn’s story and she thought because I had the rest in common with her that everything was the same – it’s really not. It’s not ‘about time’, it’s the ‘right time’ – there’s a difference. We have love and trust and can fill in the relationship conformity blanks as and when, there’s no rush because society or religion says so. It hasn’t always been easy, we’ve been through a lot over the years but we’re still standing. You need a solid foundation before you build anything, relationships included, and ours is set. We do what works for us and have nothing to prove to anybody but ourselves and our daughters, and once we’re happy, job done! The higher power can judge us, the rest of you can do one.

It’s funny how some things can stick in your mind. I can distinctly remember two people back in the day, who probably don’t even recall saying anything, taking it upon themselves to tell me that, a) He’s not right for you, you could do better, and b) You don’t know ’bout relationships. You’re just a yout’! Well 25 years later that “yout” is grown and STILL with the same man knowing nothing about relationships.

I’ll save your blushes and not name and shame and say nothing more than maybe y’all should have practiced what you preached!

Life has taught me to never presume or assume anything of anyone, it’s full of surprises and people even more so. I’ve gone way past thinking ‘they would never’, full throttle to ‘you never bloody know!’ – because you never do! If you really are interested, ask, it’s that simple.

I try my best not to interfere in other peoples business and/or relationships but if we’re close and I see something that causes concern I’m not afraid to talk up, which sounds like a contradiction of the above but it’s said under the right circumstances. If I can see someone’s not appreciating your worth or something’s not right, I have been, and will continue to be, that friend that tells it straight – not in a horrible way, but with love and straight up real talk! That’s what REAL friends do – be it a wonky weave or a wasteman!

R.I.P to the London Bridge 8 and all of those who have lost their lives this week.

Giving credit where it’s due to Diane Abbott. I’ll put my hands up and say I’ve never been a big fan or paid much attention to her purely because I’m not big on politics, but after reading up on her history I salute you! You may have made a few gaffs recently but put them in comparison to what you’ve achieved and it ain’t a thang! Rest up Queen, you’ve earned it!

Think Before You Speak, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife