Reality Check 1! (Part 3)

And we’re back to go over the delights of ‘Wilting Wednesday’.

I thought Monday was bad enough. 

I’d dared to wear an over the head hoodie. Rookie mistake! Take a tip from me – light, easily accessible layers!! In this bi polar weather it’s not easy I know, but it’s even harder when your body is on the same levels.

I forgot myself, which isn’t hard when you throw brain fog in the mix. I’d had a reprieve via some gummies and things were looking up, but that’s just a distant memory now…or is it?…one forgets…

Anyway back to the hoodie. It was all good until I felt heat rising up from my feet. I asked the question in my social media post of did you know that your shins sweat? Well, did you!? It came up in conversation with a friend and we were wondering if this is a common side effect? I know it’s skin and naturally has this ability, but honest to goodness I never noticed before…then again I’ve never flowed so much before so I’m guessing I broke through the dam.

I tried to will it away but could feel a subtle sheen appear on my face – the prequel. As the heat rose through my body and reached my neck I pulled the collar forward and a feeling resembling opening an oven hit my face – cue the main event. I could feel the beads of sweat form then roll down my face, and with that started furiously fanning the collar to and fro in an attempt to cool down, but that only resulted in fanning the flames. 

I honestly felt like I was suffocating and drowning at the same time. I couldn’t even remember what I had on underneath but that shit was coming off no matter what delights it had been covering. I pulled it off and released the heat. I was braless but had a vest on. I’m not usually one to go braless as my nipples will grab any opportunity to say hi – not that there’s anything wrong in showing a nip or two, but I’ve personally seen how distracting they can be for some!🙄😂 

At particular times of the month even a breeze is enough to have them throbbing let alone material rubbing on them, no matter how soft. Just another joy for us to behold, so I’d opted for semi-comfort that day. With lesson learned from that event, I layered up and had a relatively ok Tuesday, with only a few flushes during the day; but bring forth the night – bring forth the fuckery!

I like to sleep naked wherever possible. This has its ups and downs.👀😂

One is easy access! I’m thankful (and so is the Mr!) that my libido hasn’t waned throughout – if anything it’s improved, and much to the em-ba-razz-ment and discomfort of our daughters, we still enjoy a healthy (albeit not as loud as I would like it to be but soon to be rectified) sex life.

As much as you’d like to keep it down it can get a little noisy, and I appreciate they don’t want to hear it, but as I told them, no stork bought yo’ ass here! The time to be concerned is when it’s not your dad I’m fucking. Until that day, turn the music up and find your happy place – I know I’m about to, and long (and ebony strong!😏) may it continue!

But saying that…

I’m pretty certain he would love it if it was an everyday occurrence, and as much as that is a nice thought it can stay as such. I don’t mean that disrespectfully, but sometimes it’s not even about me not wanting it, it’s about me not wanting to combust. It’s about please don’t touch me because I’m radiating enough heat already and that hand you just placed on me feels like I’m being branded.😩

I can’t complain as he is mostly understanding. Like I said, he’s living the dream with me so has it all in living colour, and I can appreciate it must be frustrating for him at the same time. As much as I’m lying there naked I’m not sure how much of a turn on it is looking a hot, sweaty mess before any action has taken place, lying on a towel whilst mopping with another one and fanning with the other hand. I’m grateful to have a husband who will actually listen and not simply dismiss it as “women’s issues.”

To be fair, it’d be hard for him to dismiss, unless he was a complete ignoramus, which thankhfully he isn’t. It’s hard to deny when you wake up and you’re facing your wife’s feet instead of her face because she’s doing that manoeuvre similar to when you chase the sunshine in your garden, and you move position to make the most of the heat; I’m doing the same in reverse, seeking out the cool spots on the bed. It’s a super king size so doable, but then you get the downside, once you’ve cooled down you’re literally left freezing your ass off until the next flush. 

Needless to say that it isn’t subject for sleep alone but throughout the day. Can folk please appreciate the effort it takes to go out-out too. The effort to look “hot” but not look hot and yet stay cool (as in temperature😂), is a real challenge. Most days I wish I could walk around naked with just a dressing gown and slippers so I can release the heat yet stay warm. Now I truly understand why women had fans and fainted so much back in the day. 

I love heat. I’m a self confessed sun child and will grab any opportunity to catch some rays and top up my melanin, and if/when it gets too much I know there are ways and means to control the levels I get. When I say Wednesday hit different that’s an understatement! This heat is internal and there ain’t no thermostatic control. It was a continuous flow of flush after flush and sweating from my roots to my toenails. I swear at one point I questioned if I was being possessed!🥵

The comparison is often made between women throughout history, and it’s thought that we’re now somehow a weaker generation because we acknowledge and speak on women’s health. Could it be that the reason they were so quiet previously was because they literally weren’t allowed to speak up or were not comfortable with speaking on it for fear of it being used as a weapon to beat them round the head with, and further fuel for the masculine fire of them being weak and unworthy? They were just supposed to be subservient little women, who looked pretty, cooked, cleaned and bred. 

The pathway has now been cleared for us to say yes, there are clear differences between the sexes, but we each have qualities to be celebrated and admired equally – it doesn’t have to be a battle. In general the majority of men have more physical strength, but for the majority of women we have an inbuilt strength that cannot be denied.

All of the men I have spoken to who have read part 1 have said the same thing, and that is they are glad they aren’t a woman. That’s all I need to hear, because it shows me that they know we have the most shit to handle and wouldn’t want it for themselves; yet the majority of us manage to handle it – sometimes barely! – but still we move, and that’s on top of all of the other labels attached to being a woman. What would be fantastic is if more males took the time out to acknowledge and appreciate it.

So to all of my Queens out there – big up ya hot, sweaty chests! We are fucking phenomenal! If every once in a while you have a meltdown whilst melting down, feel no way. Speaking for myself, if I were to have a negative reaction to all of the sheggery I go through I’d be a right miserable cow, so I always attempt to curb it somehow, but the reality is we all need to vent, and sometimes when you share the load it can be lightened.

Big love and huge thankhs to each and every Queen that supplied me with advice and tips!🙏🏾

I’m trying a few so will follow up in a few weeks and let you know how things go.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Big Up Ya Chest!, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife