By His Deeds Shall A Man Be Known

Apologies for being a tad late! Truth be told I’ve had a lot on my mind mixed with a few long days, late nights and some upsetting news which have taken their toll. I had to have a recharge and get my head together. Nearly there!!

We all have our faults – ALL OF US! I’m no angel and I’ve done a few bad things in my past. During my mid teens I was a bit naughty but not majorly, (well, in my eyes anyway!) – a few white lies, petty crime like shoplifting etc.🙈

Yes, I put my hands up and admit it. I’m not overly proud of it or downplaying it, it happened, but by the time I reached my late teens all that had stopped.

I moved out of home at 17 and realised I was going to have to get a job to pay the bills and generally fix up! That’s about the extent of my wrongdoings and were made at an age where although it’s not right, it’s slightly more acceptable – I’ll put it down to being young and reckless, but I reached a stage where I knew I had to grow up and now the “bad” habits I have are more personal than anything that could cause anybody else grief or distress.

As adults we’re suppose to be able to differentiate between right and wrong. We’re suppose to understand that our actions have consequences, people can get hurt and we are responsible for our actions. Unfortunately some people don’t quite get it or simply just don’t give a fuck.

If you’ve tried to connect with that person and explained that what they are doing or have done is wrong, and they’ve honestly tried to atone or amend their errors and actually get it, then I’m all for forgiveness (to a certain extent), trust may be a bigger issue, but one step at a time!

If, on the other hand, you still continue with your antics after being told, you actually just don’t give a fuck and in turn neither will I when it comes to addressing you again. Real👏🏾Fucking👏🏾Talk👏🏾

I’m fully aware of how short life can be. It can be gone in a heartbeat, or four. I was hit with some news that caused me to reevaluate and revisit a lot of things that have happened in the past few years that have still to be fully addressed; things I won’t allow to be swept under the carpet or brushed off as unimportant.

Not all families get along and I am no exception as you will discover, but my relationship with my mum has always been solid.

A lot of friends have had parents pass away recently and I’ve sadly witnessed their loss and hurt and I’m dreading the day I’m in their shoes. In the meantime I will ALWAYS have her back and her best interests at heart.

We may not have had much but she was ALWAYS there. I love her dearly and I’m blessed to have her still with me at the age of 82 despite having vascular dementia and other health issues.

At the time she was diagnosed with dementia I was going through chemotherapy but that didn’t stop me from taking care of her. SHE’S MY MUM. Enough said. When you truly love someone you will fight for them, no matter what.

As you can imagine it’s been a hard time but life ain’t easy! No one wants to watch a loved one decline, it’s bloody heartbreaking, but you do what comes naturally when it’s someone you love. It wasn’t made any easier to begin with and still isn’t now, but that’s something I’ll address later.

I just want those people involved to know that nothing has been forgotten and your time will come. You keep talking and I’ll let my actions speak for me as you seem to forget yours do to.

Today I’m just making things quite clear so you can revise your tales whilst I dot my i’s and cross my t’s in preparation for when that NuDawn breaks because believe I will be firing stone cold lyrical bullets straight at ya! #JustSaying.

I honestly try to avoid drama and pick my words and battles carefully. If we’re friends on Facebook you’ll see I’m not the beefing type and don’t air my business or “check in” every 2 minutes but once in a blue moon exposure of others can be counterbalanced as a warning – not purely idle gossip.

I know myself and I know my worth and I’m fully aware of how precious time is after my life experiences, so I want you all to understand and hear me clearly when I say that there are certain incidents and circumstances caused by a certain type (Sticks And Stones (Part 1), whose actions will never be forgiven by me – end of.

Miss me with the forgiveness bullshit, I feel no way and I don’t care who you are or think you are, or how much older you may be; I will not be allowing you.

Respect is earned and given in return. It doesn’t come automatically because you’re an elder or have the ability to make others believe your lies and deceit. Smooth talking and crocodile tears will only get you so far and one day your shit will blow up in your face.

Remember that as you sit in church in your Sunday best sheep clothing and try to fool God too. I’ll wait patiently for that day knowing I have the truth to wash my hands clean.

The wise know there are two sides to every story and will wait to hear both before judging. If you still decide to stand by, defend or enable the bullshit don’t be surprised when the shit spray hits you too.

 

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

R.I.P to civil liberty in AmeriKKKa!