Last weekend was a nice but busy one for me. I had 3 celebrations to attend and felt blessed to be surrounded by good people and good vibes. With all of the crazy madness going on in the world it’s nice to have something positive bringing people together, as I’ve been treading a fine line with my association with humanity – hot stepping in and out of love and hate on a, what seems like, daily basis. Ok, maybe hate is too strong a word, but there’s definitely dislike, disgust and disdain to say the least.
Despite my great weekend my thoughts were never far away from the events that took place at Grenfell Tower two weeks ago. I’m astounded at the blatant lack of compassion, understanding and effort on behalf of the government, authorities and media. I checked Sky news online yesterday and a story was halfway down the page on the DEATH TOLL RISING TO 80, and Jeremy Corbyn blaming the events at Grenfell on austerity whilst Theresa May hit back with “You lot started it!”
To be fair she then admitted it had been overlooked for decades, took place under both government colours and they are both responsible, so my main question of many is WHAT THE FUCK ARE Y’ALL DOING ABOUT IT!? Talk is cheap and life is precious, all life! Not just those who can afford to pay their council tax in full.
Standing in parliament discussing who’s to blame isn’t helping the people that need it the most. Why are the victims still relying on the community for help when the above should be bending over backwards to help them? For years the residents warned those in charge that this could happen and were ignored. When one dared to write a blog about it they were quick to threaten her with legal action, yet every word she wrote has proved her right. Not so quick to respond now are they?
Real news is out there if you care to look for it and I’ve seen and heard some of the real talk from the survivors living the nightmare of losing, at the very least, every possession they owned and friends, family and neighbours too. They have been well and truly shafted and it stinks to high heaven.
Respect to the likes of James O’Brien, Eddie Nestor and Victoria Derbyshire, the latter who I watched interview residents and victims alongside the housing minister Alok Sharma. This man sat there and told residents that he would be writing to them all to explain what their plan of action will be, but as the victims pointed out, where are you sending these letters to? Do they even know how many people need help and where they are, considering that half of them don’t even know where they will be from day to day?
Where’s the organisation? Where is the compassion? WHERE ARE YOU? Talk and letters don’t mean shit. These people need help and support that they should not still have to be asking for a fortnight on. These are the types of stories the mainstream media need to be airing. It’s amazing how they can focus on and count up the amount of buildings now deemed unsafe but nobody is questioning the number of the death toll or how many survivors are still in desperate need.
I couldn’t help a snort of derision after seeing the death toll has risen by one. One!! Who are they trying to kid? And don’t give me that “it’s difficult to identify the bodies” bullshit. I’m not doubting that for an instant or demanding every body be formally identified straight away, but come on. I understand they will never know exactly how many people were in the building but I’m sure they’re aware of more than 80 from residents accounts and the missing alone. And now we’re being told it could take at least 6 months for a figure to be revealed.
In the meantime their loved ones have to look at the shrine their homes became. Can you even imagine how tortuous that is on top of everything else? Children and adults alike witnessed sights no one should ever see, where are the counsellors and therapists? What help are they receiving for their mental stability? I’m pretty sure a lot will be bypassed and eventually end up slipping through the cracks and forgotten about until they crack and supply us with something deemed newsworthy.
Since starting to write this it has emerged that Sir Martin Moore-Bick has been appointed as the chairman of the Grenfell Tower fire inquiry. A man who thought nothing of relocating a single mother 50 miles away from where she lives and her kids go to school. Great! I’m patiently awaiting for when they’ll announce there will be an inquest too. God knows how long all that is going to take – I’ll hazard a guess at about 28 years. That seems the average waiting time for justice of mass failings in our Grate Britain.
I’ve still got a lot more questions and plenty more to say about this, like addressing those who felt the need to be up in arms and all up in their feelings because the lesser class are within breathing distance, but I’ll allow it for now! I will reiterate though that A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BLOOD ON THEIR HANDS AND NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. You’re lucky folk have managed to stay calm for so long but it won’t last forever.
Justice For Grenfell!
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Less Talk – More Action, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
There could only be one subject up for discussion this week – the atrocious and unnecessary loss of life at Grenfell Tower, which will stay with me for the rest of my days.
I had one eye open when I turned on the tv just after 7am on Wednesday morning, and at first I thought it was one of the Twin Towers (I was still half asleep, forgive me) then I caught the word LIVE in the top left hand corner, opened the other eye, turned the volume up and tried to take in what was happening…
I’m here 4 days later still trying to take it in. Like anyone else out there with a heart mine broke observing the carnage. I can’t even bring myself to discuss the full horror of it or of being sat watching knowing there were men, women, children, whole generations dying in front of my eyes. I’m honestly having difficulty putting my feelings into words and handling my emotions and I’m just a bystander, so can’t even imagine what it’s like for those directly affected.
I don’t live in a high rise but I do live on the top floor of a two storey block of flats and have thought about my escape route should, heaven forbid, we become trapped in here. Thankfully we’re low enough to jump without hopefully causing major damage or by knotting a few sheets together but you can’t help but imagine yourself in the position of the residents of Grenfell Tower and wonder what if it were me?
Massive respect goes out to the firefighters who worked tirelessly to try to help the victims. Again I can only imagine the sights they had to witness and they’re still having to face the daunting task of recovering the bodies. I pray they and everyone affected get the counselling they are so going to need. If it was love alone that could soothe a soul they would be well and truly covered. Witnessing how communities all over the country came together within hours to offer whatever help they could with thousands of donations was truly heartwarming. With all of the tension of late it was amazing to see humanity at its best at last. Sometimes it takes shit happening on your own doorstep for people to realise how precious life is…some people that is.
As more information came to light the more frustrated and angry I began to feel. It’s little wonder the people are raging, they have every right to be! WHERE WERE THE GOVERNMENT?
The residents warned the authorities that this could happen ages ago and have literally lost everything; family, friends, neighbours, their home and all of their possessions in the most horrendous of ways, knowing that their concerns were brushed off like lint on a designer suit, because that’s what they were; shit to be brushed off and covered over as an eyesore in one of, if not the most affluent parts of London.
Well now you have left them with nothing so they literally have nothing to lose when they come at you with all guns blazing. All you’ve left them with is hurt and anger and again WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? ‘Bout you wanna turn up a day late and a dollar short with your police protection to talk to the firefighters. WHAT ABOUT THE VICTIMS? Theresa Mayhem you and Kensington and Chelsea Council are an absolute fucking disgrace and highly disrespectful but you’d better believe that the blood you and all those who play a part in this have on your hands won’t be washed away so quickly. You want to put your hands up now and admit your response was not good enough but too little too late. The people have already seen and felt what they mean to you!
I’m not sure of the exact figure but between £8-£10m was spent on refurbishing the block yet basic safety requirements were not met. What the frig was the money spent on? Why were no sprinklers installed? What happened to the fire alarms and extinguishers? Why only one flight of stairs for a 24 storey building housing hundreds of people? Who gave the go ahead to wrap the building in substandard cladding so the well to do would have a nicer view? Let’s not get it twisted – this is some fuckery of the highest level. Boil it down to what it is – a disregard of the lower class plain and simple. Issues like the above would never arise had a different class of people been living in that property without a shadow of a doubt.
I only hope the survivors get sorted and settled as soon as possible within the area they called home and the many relatives and friends awaiting confirmation on news of their loved ones are informed soon. Hear me when I say we feel for you all and will be shouting with you and for you too. The fire in people’s hearts is burning brighter than the one that took everything from you and long may it continue.
R.I.P to all those who lost their lives at Grenfell tower and throughout the week. Condolences to all of the families affected.
Much love to the survivors. May you receive all the love and help you need and more.
Happy Father’s Day to all the real dads doing the job right. Spare a thought for those unable to enjoy today.
Think Of Your Fellow Man, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
Well, my last post was the day after Manchester and now we’re nearly a week after London Bridge. My sentiments remain the same. Whatever theory you believe, or whoever you want to point the finger at, does not take away from the fact that it’s everyday people like me and you who end up suffering.
I know it can’t be easy for authorities to follow every suspect out there but there’s one thing I’d like someone to explain to me; why did nobody think to keep a closer eye on The Jihadis Next Door? You couldn’t get a bigger fucking whiff of suspicion if you tried. So it’s ok to use them for ratings and send them on their way knowing exactly what they’re all about? It’s one of many cock ups by the government that costs people’s lives and yet again my heart goes out to all innocents caught up in the madness.
Moving on, I’ve been wondering why it is that some people like to find their way all up in your business? It’s one thing if it’s been put out there by yourself; you can hardly complain if you’re vocal or post a status about something and people ask what’s going on. As far as I’m concerned if you’re putting it on social media it’s obviously not something you want to keep to yourself. I understand that sometimes you can’t go into full detail but feel so frustrated or upset over a situation you just want to vent – been there, done that!, but unlike some I won’t leave you in suspense or tell you to inbox me (attention seeking much!?), I’ll tell you straight I can’t divulge anymore just yet but you’ll know when the time’s right!
If I offer up information and people enquire about it that’s not being nosey…well, to an extent. No, I don’t have to tell all if I don’t want to, but if I’ve already kinda addressed a subject publicly I’d rather people ask than assume or presume and I will set the record straight either way. Despite not giving a rats arse what others think of me and having the ability to laugh it off the majority of the time, what sometimes irks me is when folk take it upon themselves to tell me their opinion of my life. If I’ve asked for it, crack on. I may not agree with everything you have to say but I’ll hear you out. If curiosity is really burning you, ask. I’d prefer it to assumption and innuendo. You will either be told the truth or to fuck off depending on the question, can’t say fairer than that! If, however, I haven’t asked or you don’t know me from Adam, could you please just hush your mouth. Respectfully.
An example of this happened recently. After an enjoyable meal with my hentourage we headed across the road to the Broadway Theatre to be entertained by a selection of fabulously talented women spreading that Black Girl Magic! At the end of the evening the host addressed myself congratulating me on my upcoming marriage and for being together for 25 years. Unbeknown to us, and as unlikely as it may seem, there just so happened to be another Dawn having her hen do that night who had been with her partner for 25 years too! Seriously, you couldn’t make it up! I’m not sure which one of us he was congratulating but we both shared the love. As we were preparing to leave Dawn2 and her crew paused on their way out to congratulate us and informed us of the coincidence. Niceties were exchanged and then one of her friends taps me on the arm as she passes by and says, “Yes darling, about bloody time too! 25 years is too long. It should have been done time ago!”
Oh is it?…says who?
I gave her a smile and a nod as my vibe was nice and I couldn’t be arsed to correct her. It’s possible that is her Dawn’s story and she thought because I had the rest in common with her that everything was the same – it’s really not. It’s not ‘about time’, it’s the ‘right time’ – there’s a difference. We have love and trust and can fill in the relationship conformity blanks as and when, there’s no rush because society or religion says so. It hasn’t always been easy, we’ve been through a lot over the years but we’re still standing. You need a solid foundation before you build anything, relationships included, and ours is set. We do what works for us and have nothing to prove to anybody but ourselves and our daughters, and once we’re happy, job done! The higher power can judge us, the rest of you can do one.
It’s funny how some things can stick in your mind. I can distinctly remember two people back in the day, who probably don’t even recall saying anything, taking it upon themselves to tell me that, a) He’s not right for you, you could do better, and b) You don’t know ’bout relationships. You’re just a yout’! Well 25 years later that “yout” is grown and STILL with the same man knowing nothing about relationships.
I’ll save your blushes and not name and shame and say nothing more than maybe y’all should have practiced what you preached!
Life has taught me to never presume or assume anything of anyone, it’s full of surprises and people even more so. I’ve gone way past thinking ‘they would never’, full throttle to ‘you never bloody know!’ – because you never do! If you really are interested, ask, it’s that simple.
I try my best not to interfere in other peoples business and/or relationships but if we’re close and I see something that causes concern I’m not afraid to talk up, which sounds like a contradiction of the above but it’s said under the right circumstances. If I can see someone’s not appreciating your worth or something’s not right, I have been, and will continue to be, that friend that tells it straight – not in a horrible way, but with love and straight up real talk! That’s what REAL friends do – be it a wonky weave or a wasteman!
R.I.P to the London Bridge 8 and all of those who have lost their lives this week.
Giving credit where it’s due to Diane Abbott. I’ll put my hands up and say I’ve never been a big fan or paid much attention to her purely because I’m not big on politics, but after reading up on her history I salute you! You may have made a few gaffs recently but put them in comparison to what you’ve achieved and it ain’t a thang! Rest up Queen, you’ve earned it!
Think Before You Speak, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
It’s ironic that the day I choose to get back on my writing game is the morning I wake up to hear about the nightmare in Manchester.
The irony is the sole reason I had to take a break is because I’d literally had my fill of people and the blatant lack of humanity. I’m not naive, I know we’re not all saints and some people are straight up bastards, but when you’re facing them head on and feel the effects of what they are capable of it’s a whole other story.
When their actions involves the loss of children it cuts deeper still. The act is bad enough, but to knowingly target kids is lower than low. What kind of a world are we living in? My heart truly goes out to those who died, the injured and their families.
For nearly a year I’ve posted weekly and very rarely have an issue with finding a topic, last week was no different. I was good to go and then something happened, and in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t life threatening or anything I hadn’t experienced before, so it shouldn’t have meant a thing, but it was just enough to make my cup runneth over!
We all have our lot in life and I’d like to think I’ve handled the shit that comes flying my way relatively well. For the most part I just carry on and try to make it through the day alive. I’ve learnt from the lessons life has taught me (sometimes it takes a couple of goes but I get there eventually!), and I try not to let too much stress me, but when it’s something or someone I love I can’t just switch off – especially if someone else is taking absolute liberties.
One action caused a chink in my armour. I sat blubbering to my cousin wondering why I was feeling the way I was considering it was nothing new. Unnecessary drama by others made necessary because it starts off a chain reaction.
After nearly 2 years of it I’d had enough. 1001 thoughts ran through my head as to where to go from here. I was sick and tired of it all but stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Then she reeled off all I’d been through and I became aware I was actually going through the five stages of beef:
Denial (No one can be this messed up, it’s not true😲)
Anger (Who the fuck do they think they are!?😤)
Bargaining (How much do you reckon a hitman costs?👀)
Depression (How am I still dealing with this punk?😞)
Acceptance (I accept you’re a cunt and always will be!🖕🏾)
May 8th – 14th was Mental Health Awareness Week and I was fortunate enough to be aware of mine being rattled. A lot of us go through things physically yet don’t realise the strain on the brain.
There are a number of reasons as to what causes these issues but the most important thing is to deal with it. I recognised I needed to talk to someone, others are unaware and may need a push for their own good. They may just need to step back from it all and talk it over like I did or they may need drugs and therapy – don’t feel a way! A mind is a terrible thing to waste and it’s not just about education. Be it beef or grief, get the help you need as I’m hoping those who were affected by Monday nights tragedy get the help they’ll need. Children are only resilient up to a point and they literally are our future, we need to do our best by them because right now it’s looking like anything goes!
R.I.P to all those who lost their lives this week, especially in such a senseless way in Manchester.
R.I.P Frankie Paul – I’m sure you’re passing the tu-sheng peng up there.
R.I.P Sir Roger Moore – shaken, not stirred
The Mind Matters, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife
On Friday I was blessed with the news that I’m still in remission. As you can imagine it’s a relief to know you’ve managed to keep cancer at bay for another year.
You can’t help but reflect on life at these times, especially after the reality check that having it and beating it gives you. I don’t entertain certain things or people anymore as I appreciate the value of time, but there are some things that will always grab my attention and OurStory and the equality of my people is one of them.
This past week too many stories had me shaking my head and feeling a whole range of different emotions, proving yet again how messed up certain types can be.
I’ll start with the lesser evil and those who took the time out of their day to bitch about Jamelia addressing the lack of ethnic diversity in dolls in toy stores over here. I understand this wouldn’t be of interest to many but, in my opinion, she does have a valid point and she chose to talk up about it. I read some of the responses from viewers after she appeared on This Morning and they accused her of being racist and causing race issues that aren’t even there.
Well, if they cared to listen she was actually proving the point that there is an issue if you’re a shade other than White. Yes, there are many other colours that aren’t in the mix either, but if the redheads or Chinese want to make noise it’s their choice and right as it is hers. If you don’t want to hear it #WhyDontYou switch off your TV set and do something less boring instead?
I would suggest the hate has more to do with the fact that she’s not afraid to use her platform and chooses to highlight her experiences and the inequalities that she sees. Being the mother of 2 beautiful Nubian princesses myself I have the utmost respect for her telling it like it is and showing our daughters we have a right to talk up!
It’s a bloody hard, testosterone filled world out there and it’s even harder if you’re a woman and harder still if you’re a Black woman. #RealTalk. We have shown resilience like no other during slavery and before then we were queens; we need to regain our crowns and I applaud Jamelia and all of the other positive Black females out there showing their sistas some love and acknowledgement.
Another woman (by no means a sista), who loves to utilise her platform to the max is Katie Hopkins. She decided it would be appropriate to tweet a poster of a new Netflix series Dear White People with the words; ‘Dear Black people. If your lives matter why do you stab and shoot each other so much’, which is as relevant as me tweeting a picture of Criminal Minds with the words; Dear White people. If your lives matter why are you serial killers and psychos. This woman just loves to run her mouth and stir up shit and there are plenty that lap it up.
Although she removed the tweet she’d already said what she truly feels and believe there are plenty who feel the same way as her, and when you get programs like Inside The Gang airing tonight it’s adding more fuel to her fire. I won’t be watching and would urge you to do the same.
I’m sick and tired of trifling Channel5 and their documentaries on this subject. It’s the same content with different characters. Where are the positive, uplifting and inspiring ones of our youth? Trust me they can be written if they choose to do so but they continue to pump out this crap. If you do watch it I suggest you reread and get back to me on if any of my questions have been answered this time around!
And now we come back to the trigger happy police in good old AmeriKKKa. I was saddened but unsurprised at the outcome that the Baton Rouge officers that took Alton Sterling’s life will not be charged over his death. I’m still trying to comprehend how, even with video evidence, they still find a way to justify taking his life. There is still the opportunity for state authorities to pursue their own criminal charges against Blane Salamoni and Howard Lake ll but I won’t hold my breath!
One officer who did actually get charged over the fatal shooting of another young black teenager is Roy Oliver, who opened fire with a rifle on a car full of teenagers leaving a party. He had said that their car was backing up towards them in an aggressive manner yet their body camera footage shows the vehicle was actually driving AWAY from them.
Now imagine there was no footage. Whose word do you think they’d believe when it came to telling what went down? The new US Attorney General Jeff Sessions has said the Justice Department is committed to holding individual officers accountable when they break the law, yet he also believes too much federal scrutiny of police departments can diminish officers effectiveness and hurt morale. Where do you think his priority is going to lie? #NoJusticeItsJustUs
When I see things like Sulley Muntari being banned for walking off the pitch after being racially abused and the Italian football officials saying that not enough fans had taken part in the abuse to trigger action, you know we’ve still got a hell of a way to go.
10 fans is 10 too many and they should be the ones being reprimanded not the player. They eventually decided to lift the suspension after global condemnation but why did it take GLOBAL condemnation for them to see what’s right? Why is it so easy for others to tell us what is acceptable and how much we can tolerate? How do you expect us to “get over” our past when the struggle still remains very much real and little seems to change? #AnswersOnAPostcardIfYouPlease
Congratulations to the 82 Chibok girls who have finally been freed. Here’s hoping your sisters left behind will be joining you soon.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
Pinch, punch, first day of the month and all that jazz. I’m moving on from the babies of last week and fast forwarding to the late teens. In October my eldest daughter will be 18 – supposedly an adult in the eyes of the law.
Despite whether or not I believe she is capable of living an adult life, the law says she can. It got me thinking who wrote these laws we’re suppose to live by and who’s in charge of updating and/or amending them?
I mean, the same law states that it’s legal for a 16 year old to have sex, allowing them the possibility to become responsible for another life, but they still need to be accompanied by an adult to have a cider with a meal if dining out. Now tell me there’s nothing wrong with this picture?
Transitioning from a child to an adult usually involves a heavy dose of hormones and headache. They can jump from one emotion to another in a heartbeat and somehow every issue they face is your fault.
I’m lucky to have not been tested too much by my girls as yet but I’ve had cause to watch them sideways and sometimes wanting to pinch, punch them when words STILL don’t sink in, but after a few more choice words I manage to restrain myself and retreat to my boudoir for some deep breathing and herbal relief.
It’s not really my thing but back in the day you could discipline your child with a slap and it wasn’t an issue, in fact it worked wonders for some. I’m not talking about assault and battery but a tap to show that their behaviour won’t be tolerated.
Nowadays a hand doesn’t even have to twitch before the kid’s talking about child abuse and reaching for the phone to call Childline; which is great in the right circumstances, but not if the “abuse” they are calling about is because mum won’t let you out because you haven’t cleaned your room. Don’t get it twisted, some of these kids can be straight up terrors and will get you shot in the blink of an eye!
A few weeks ago I read about a mother of 4 being tagged because her eldest refuses to stay in school. He has learning difficulties and his specialist school was closed due to lack of funding so he now has to attend a mainstream school that he can’t keep up with and is being bullied in. Despite being bigger and stronger than her she manages to get him there but he subsequently leaves.
She has asked the school for help and asked for him to be moved to another school and had no joy with either. She’s done all she can and has 3 other children to deal with (who have perfect attendance) and yet the powers that be’s answer to her problem is to tag HER because she can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink. Tell me who and how that is helping please? And what message is that sending out to her son apart from him being able to do what he likes whilst mum faces the repercussions?
As parents the majority of us try to do the best by our children and steer them in the right direction, which isn’t easy when you’ve got a government that has helped to create Generation Effed and is happy to leave them by the wayside and blame you for not dealing with the fallout.
We can only try our hardest and hope and pray they emerge as well rounded adults. There are a lot of factors that go into making them what they are and we can be held responsible for some but not all. We brought them into the world and they will always be our babies, but they will ultimately grow up and make their own choices and mistakes.
Personally I believe it’s nature that determines the type of person we will become rather than nurture, although it plays a part. A saint and a sociopath can have the exact same loving upbringing yet travel down very different paths so don’t be too hard on yourselves parents – with all the obstacles we face, we’ve done well to get them this far! #RealTalk
Congratulations Anthony Joshua – I can’t stand boxing but applaud your achievements.
R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.
God Bless The Child, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife