Baby Love

What a week the world has witnessed! Waaayyyy too many topics up for discussion and unfortunately the majority of it is highly depressing and I don’t have the energy to attempt to decipher it. One story in particular gave me food for thought though, especially as it was my daughters 15th birthday on Saturday.

Being a parent was a choice I made knowing it wasn’t going to be easy, but you never really know how hard something is until you’re in the thick of it. Thankfully, I have so far been able to handle (just about!) what was bestowed upon me twice. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for many, some through no fault of their own, but others choosing to handle things in ways I will never understand.

I don’t remember giving birth to my daughter. Some may say that’s a good thing but for me, not so much. It wasn’t that I was high on drugs or so zoned out it became some sort of surreal experience, and I will explain fully another day, but the outcome was completely losing all memory of having her and being introduced to this little red-skinned cutie two weeks after having her and not instantly knowing she was mine!🙈

In fairness to myself, her sister was darker when she was born so I was expecting to see the same ok!! Jokes aside, I’m not sure if it was nature or nurture that kicked in but it took no time at all to bond with her. She was mine and I loved her. The fact that she was as chilled as you like was an added bonus but even if she wasn’t (take a bow firstborn!), it wouldn’t have mattered, she’s a baby I created – totally helpless, dependent and my responsibility. I wasn’t about to, or would ever intentionally, let anything bad happen to her and 15 years later things ain’t changing!

I know hate is a strong word but it doesn’t even come close to what I feel about adults that choose to abuse babies and/or children. I’ve recently had the pleasure of cuddling a couple of newborns and it makes my blood run cold that some could even think about causing something so tiny and precious harm. There are no excuses in my eyes and I was utterly disgusted at a story I read about an abhorrent couple named Jeffrey Wiltshire and Rosalin Baker.

They staged the death of their 16 week old daughter Imani, and made it appear she had fallen ill on a bus, knowing the poor child was already dead. By all accounts they are drug addicts, with 52 year old Wiltshire being the “father” of 25 children. He insisted he’s not a life taker, he’s a baby maker. Is that so? Well this baby maker left his daughter with 40 rib fractures, a broken wrist and terrible head injuries so I beg to differ. I can’t even imagine how you manage to fracture a 16 week old baby’s ribs 40 times let alone the rest.

How could they do it? Why? I get that a teenager might push you to the point of wanting to do damage sometimes but what could a baby have done to warrant all of that hurt and pain? Why couldn’t they give her up if they didn’t want her? I’ve got 21 questions and then some but all I know is I’m hoping that there is a special place in Hell for those two and their like and Imani’s soul finds the love that was missing on Earth.

If for whatever reason you can’t love the child you were blessed with do them a favour and find someone that will because they didn’t ask to be here. I’m not going to glamorise parenthood as the real deal parents will know it’s a bloody hard job but it can be so rewarding…(eventually) for some! You may not see it or feel it at first but the rewards come in many different ways.

Some people simply aren’t cut out to do the job but there are plenty of people out there who would happily do it for them if given a chance. Without trying to offend anyone religiously or otherwise, there are options if you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy or a baby/child you cannot handle.

I don’t believe in abortion as a form of contraception but I do believe women should have the choice, especially if the pregnancy is the result of rape. If the pressure is too much after you’ve given birth, seek help! Ok, I said I’m not trying to offend but I’m straight up going to now. There are certain religions that will do you down for having an abortion, being unmarried or marrying out of their comfort zone, but turn a blind eye to the abuse and murder of children because their abusers wear cassocks and habits.

They will tell you how it’s unnatural and perverted for two men or two women to raise a child whilst fiddling the choirboys/girls on the side; but that’s not perverted at all!

For me parents are people who can provide love, safety and a sense of stability. I would rather a child be loved by unconventional parents than abused by the ‘norm’. I’ve heard stories of single people being turned down for adoption or fostering with the only reason being they are on their own. Why?

Isn’t it better for them to have the love of one than none? Imani had both parents and look what happened to her. I’ve said it before; just because you can make a baby it doesn’t make you a model mum or dad, and just because you can’t have one naturally it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be one. Here’s hoping the world wakes up some time soon.

R.I.P Ugo Ehiogu, Germaine Mason and all those who have lost their lives this week.

I Got You Babe, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife