Doors And Scores

“I’m a little wiser, baby

I’m a little kinder, baby

After all these years it’s time I let you know

See, I learned some things, my baby

Finally spread my wings to save me

Yes, I lost myself, that’s why I had to go

Then the light came up, my baby

Right after I forgave me

And I prayed so hard, I thought I’d lose my mind

I’m a little stronger, baby

Took a little longer, maybe

Tell my younger self to enjoy the ride…”

Rose In The Dark ~ Cleo Sol

At the end of last year I made a conscious decision to tighten my boundaries when it came to loving on certain folk. I would constantly be the one making contact with no response for weeks, sometimes months, if at all. I still had/have love for them, but I was done wasting my energy. I made it clear in a message and let things be. The door will always be open but they’ll have to find their own way to it and knock instead of me holding it open and catching breeze!

I know I’ve said it before, but it’s crazy the things we do and put ourselves through for love – or our perception of what love is anyway. Throughout my years of personal experience I can testify that that pathway can be a rocky one but honestly, it’s not meant to be.

There are many types of love to be found. I have plenty of love to give but not everyone gets the same type. I’m not gonna love on my friend the way I love on my man; those distinctions are clear enough to comprehend, but it tends to get a bit fuzzy when it comes to setting those boundaries that surround certain entrances to your heart. Remember there are many ways in. If one door closes you’ve got options. Find the love where it flows freely until that door opens up again.

It all starts with thyself. Once you know the score and you’ve got you covered that cold breeze of rejection will be replaced by a warm glow and you’ll manage to avoid the majority of the potholes and debris. Naturally we’ll all encounter a little heartache at some point in time – for some of us more often than not – but hopefully you’ll realise that the ache is only a fraction of the heart’s capacity.

If some people can’t appreciate you or acknowledge your worth it’s their loss not yours. It’s a lesson I’ve learnt but I confess to still having my moments of feeling less than in certain peoples opinion*, but they are only fleeting. I will never allow anyone to dim my shine. The attention I’m missing from them can be and has been made up tenfold by loving on me.**

I know it sounds easier said than done but I promise you it’s worth the effort.

STOP THE WAR AND THE MADNESS AND SET PALESTINE FREE!!!🇵🇸 My heart goes out to all of those suffering and I pray for peace and an end to all of your bloodshed and injustices.🙏🏾

R.I.P Paul Mills and all those who have lost their lives this week. My heartfelt condolences to the Bailey family on yet another passing.🙏🏾

Earthday Blessings to my firstborn blessing Queen Isis. Keep shining and being true to you. Love you!😍🖤💚

More Earthday love to fellow Scorpio Princess Nyah and Queen Bex Richardson. Sending nothing but love your way!😍

*And the work continues!😅 We will slip and slide throughout this ride but still we move!

**I love a tattoo and I’ve added a few more to the collection! The girls are looking pretty even if I do say so myself!😂😏😍 #TattooCute🪷

Go Where The Love Flows Freely, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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One Step…

Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We’re unrehearsed.

Mel Brooks

I was recently reminded yet again of how the choices we make can impact our life. A few years ago I went against the majority of my family and made the decision to go with my heart and show love to someone. To say that’s been repaid in abundance is an understatement. 

A couple of weeks ago I had one of the most magical experiences I’ve had to date; and that includes all of the joys we associate with being “magical” that I’ve been blessed to receive. When I got home and reflected on the events of that day it took me back to that one step I took years ago, and naturally had me remembering all of the fuckery that surrounded it and with that a whole bag of emotions.

When I say I’ve always been about the love I tell no lies. I’ve had personal experience of rejection, literally starting from before I was out the womb with a steady drip of it to date; the majority of it coming from the ones who are supposed to love you the most and of whom I did.

I’ve had every reason to be a bitter, twisted old wretch and apportion blame and spew hate, but throughout all of it I never let go of the belief that real love and acceptance exists. The type that can still hold strong despite us not agreeing on everything. The type that knows my true heart and capabilities. The type that won’t deny me or try me. The type that understands you don’t shut love out, you let it in.

I have to give thankhs to them still because they made my beliefs stronger with the determination that I could never be like them and cause another to feel the things I’d worked through*.

One step. One step is all it takes to make a world of difference. It doesn’t matter the size or direction if it’s in accordance with being a better you. Be it a step up, down, to the side, into the unknown, new pastures or in your own damn truth – just take the step! Have faith in yourself and that those who are meant to love you will.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives recently.

*I thought I’d worked through! One step in the right direction showed me otherwise and more than I’d ever realised!

The most amount of love and respect going out to my nephew Josh Parker and the wonderful work of the Daily Deposits Tribe.😍 One step I will never regret or forget.🙏🏾🖤💚

Big love and thankhs to niecey Ajada Bridges-Matthew for hooking Aunty up as I embark on this vegan ting!😅

One Step, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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