What’s On Your Mind?

It’s ironic that the day I choose to get back on my writing game is the morning I wake up to hear about the nightmare in Manchester.

The irony is the sole reason I had to take a break is because I’d literally had my fill of people and the blatant lack of humanity. I’m not naive, I know we’re not all saints and some people are straight up bastards, but when you’re facing them head on and feel the effects of what they are capable of it’s a whole other story.

When their actions involves the loss of children it cuts deeper still. The act is bad enough, but to knowingly target kids is lower than low. What kind of a world are we living in? My heart truly goes out to those who died, the injured and their families.

For nearly a year I’ve posted weekly and very rarely have an issue with finding a topic, last week was no different. I was good to go and then something happened, and in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t life threatening or anything I hadn’t experienced before, so it shouldn’t have meant a thing, but it was just enough to make my cup runneth over!

We all have our lot in life and I’d like to think I’ve handled the shit that comes flying my way relatively well. For the most part I just carry on and try to make it through the day alive. I’ve learnt from the lessons life has taught me (sometimes it takes a couple of goes but I get there eventually!), and I try not to let too much stress me, but when it’s something or someone I love I can’t just switch off – especially if someone else is taking absolute liberties.

One action caused a chink in my armour. I sat blubbering to my cousin wondering why I was feeling the way I was considering it was nothing new. Unnecessary drama by others made necessary because it starts off a chain reaction.

After nearly 2 years of it I’d had enough. 1001 thoughts ran through my head as to where to go from here. I was sick and tired of it all but stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Then she reeled off all I’d been through and I became aware I was actually going through the five stages of beef:

Denial (No one can be this messed up, it’s not true😲)

Anger (Who the fuck do they think they are!?😤)

Bargaining (How much do you reckon a hitman costs?👀)

Depression (How am I still dealing with this punk?😞)

Acceptance (I accept you’re a cunt and always will be!🖕🏾)

May 8th – 14th was Mental Health Awareness Week and I was fortunate enough to be aware of mine being rattled. A lot of us go through things physically yet don’t realise the strain on the brain.

There are a number of reasons as to what causes these issues but the most important thing is to deal with it. I recognised I needed to talk to someone, others are unaware and may need a push for their own good. They may just need to step back from it all and talk it over like I did or they may need drugs and therapy – don’t feel a way! A mind is a terrible thing to waste and it’s not just about education. Be it beef or grief, get the help you need as I’m hoping those who were affected by Monday nights tragedy get the help they’ll need. Children are only resilient up to a point and they literally are our future, we need to do our best by them because right now it’s looking like anything goes!

 

 

R.I.P to all those who lost their lives this week, especially in such a senseless way in Manchester.

R.I.P Frankie Paul – I’m sure you’re passing the tu-sheng peng up there.

R.I.P Sir Roger Moore – shaken, not stirred

 

The Mind Matters, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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R.I.P’d Off (Part 13)

On Friday I was blessed with the news that I’m still in remission. As you can imagine it’s a relief to know you’ve managed to keep cancer at bay for another year.

You can’t help but reflect on life at these times, especially after the reality check that having it and beating it gives you. I don’t entertain certain things or people anymore as I appreciate the value of time, but there are some things that will always grab my attention and OurStory and the equality of my people is one of them.

This past week too many stories had me shaking my head and feeling a whole range of different emotions, proving yet again how messed up certain types can be.

I’ll start with the lesser evil and those who took the time out of their day to bitch about Jamelia addressing the lack of ethnic diversity in dolls in toy stores over here. I understand this wouldn’t be of interest to many but, in my opinion, she does have a valid point and she chose to talk up about it. I read some of the responses from viewers after she appeared on This Morning and they accused her of being racist and causing race issues that aren’t even there.

Well, if they cared to listen she was actually proving the point that there is an issue if you’re a shade other than White. Yes, there are many other colours that aren’t in the mix either, but if the redheads or Chinese want to make noise it’s their choice and right as it is hers. If you don’t want to hear it #WhyDontYou switch off your TV set and do something less boring instead?

I would suggest the hate has more to do with the fact that she’s not afraid to use her platform and chooses to highlight her experiences and the inequalities that she sees. Being the mother of 2 beautiful Nubian princesses myself I have the utmost respect for her telling it like it is and showing our daughters we have a right to talk up!

It’s a bloody hard, testosterone filled world out there and it’s even harder if you’re a woman and harder still if you’re a Black woman. #RealTalk. We have shown resilience like no other during slavery and before then we were queens; we need to regain our crowns and I applaud Jamelia and all of the other positive Black females out there showing their sistas some love and acknowledgement.

Another woman (by no means a sista), who loves to utilise her platform to the max is Katie Hopkins. She decided it would be appropriate to tweet a poster of a new Netflix series Dear White People with the words; ‘Dear Black people. If your lives matter why do you stab and shoot each other so much’, which is as relevant as me tweeting a picture of Criminal Minds with the words; Dear White people. If your lives matter why are you serial killers and psychos. This woman just loves to run her mouth and stir up shit and there are plenty that lap it up.

Although she removed the tweet she’d already said what she truly feels and believe there are plenty who feel the same way as her, and when you get programs like Inside The Gang airing tonight it’s adding more fuel to her fire. I won’t be watching and would urge you to do the same.

I’m sick and tired of trifling Channel5 and their documentaries on this subject. It’s the same content with different characters. Where are the positive, uplifting and inspiring ones of our youth? Trust me they can be written if they choose to do so but they continue to pump out this crap. If you do watch it I suggest you reread  and get back to me on if any of my questions have been answered this time around!

And now we come back to the trigger happy police in good old AmeriKKKa. I was saddened but unsurprised at the outcome that the Baton Rouge officers that took Alton Sterling’s life will not be charged over his death. I’m still trying to comprehend how, even with video evidence, they still find a way to justify taking his life. There is still the opportunity for state authorities to pursue their own criminal charges against Blane Salamoni and Howard Lake ll but I won’t hold my breath!

One officer who did actually get charged over the fatal shooting of another young black teenager is Roy Oliver, who opened fire with a rifle on a car full of teenagers leaving a party. He had said that their car was backing up towards them in an aggressive manner yet their body camera footage shows the vehicle was actually driving AWAY from them.

Now imagine there was no footage. Whose word do you think they’d believe when it came to telling what went down? The new US Attorney General Jeff Sessions has said the Justice Department is committed to holding individual officers accountable when they break the law, yet he also believes too much federal scrutiny of police departments can diminish officers effectiveness and hurt morale. Where do you think his priority is going to lie? #NoJusticeItsJustUs

When I see things like Sulley Muntari being banned for walking off the pitch after being racially abused and the Italian football officials saying that not enough fans had taken part in the abuse to trigger action, you know we’ve still got a hell of a way to go.

10 fans is 10 too many and they should be the ones being reprimanded not the player. They eventually decided to lift the suspension after global condemnation but why did it take GLOBAL condemnation for them to see what’s right? Why is it so easy for others to tell us what is acceptable and how much we can tolerate? How do you expect us to “get over” our past when the struggle still remains very much real and little seems to change? #AnswersOnAPostcardIfYouPlease



Congratulations to the 82 Chibok girls who have finally been freed. Here’s hoping your sisters left behind will be joining you soon.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Stand & Deliver Your Dignity Or Your Life, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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Law And Disorder 

Pinch, punch, first day of the month and all that jazz. I’m moving on from the babies of last week and fast forwarding to the late teens. In October my eldest daughter will be 18 – supposedly an adult in the eyes of the law.

Despite whether or not I believe she is capable of living an adult life, the law says she can. It got me thinking who wrote these laws we’re suppose to live by and who’s in charge of updating and/or amending them?

I mean, the same law states that it’s legal for a 16 year old to have sex, allowing them the possibility to become responsible for another life, but they still need to be accompanied by an adult to have a cider with a meal if dining out. Now tell me there’s nothing wrong with this picture?

Transitioning from a child to an adult usually involves a heavy dose of hormones and headache. They can jump from one emotion to another in a heartbeat and somehow every issue they face is your fault.

I’m lucky to have not been tested too much by my girls as yet but I’ve had cause to watch them sideways and sometimes wanting to pinch, punch them when words STILL don’t sink in, but after a few more choice words I manage to restrain myself and retreat to my boudoir for some deep breathing and herbal relief.

It’s not really my thing but back in the day you could discipline your child with a slap and it wasn’t an issue, in fact it worked wonders for some. I’m not talking about assault and battery but a tap to show that their behaviour won’t be tolerated.

Nowadays a hand doesn’t even have to twitch before the kid’s talking about child abuse and reaching for the phone to call Childline; which is great in the right circumstances, but not if the “abuse” they are calling about is because mum won’t let you out because you haven’t cleaned your room. Don’t get it twisted, some of these kids can be straight up terrors and will get you shot in the blink of an eye!

A few weeks ago I read about a mother of 4 being tagged because her eldest refuses to stay in school. He has learning difficulties and his specialist school was closed due to lack of funding so he now has to attend a mainstream school that he can’t keep up with and is being bullied in. Despite being bigger and stronger than her she manages to get him there but he subsequently leaves.

She has asked the school for help and asked for him to be moved to another school and had no joy with either. She’s done all she can and has 3 other children to deal with (who have perfect attendance) and yet the powers that be’s answer to her problem is to tag HER because she can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink. Tell me who and how that is helping please? And what message is that sending out to her son apart from him being able to do what he likes whilst mum faces the repercussions?

As parents the majority of us try to do the best by our children and steer them in the right direction, which isn’t easy when you’ve got a government that has helped to create Generation Effed and is happy to leave them by the wayside and blame you for not dealing with the fallout.

We can only try our hardest and hope and pray they emerge as well rounded adults. There are a lot of factors that go into making them what they are and we can be held responsible for some but not all. We brought them into the world and they will always be our babies, but they will ultimately grow up and make their own choices and mistakes.

Personally I believe it’s nature that determines the type of person we will become rather than nurture, although it plays a part. A saint and a sociopath can have the exact same loving upbringing yet travel down very different paths so don’t be too hard on yourselves parents – with all the obstacles we face, we’ve done well to get them this far! #RealTalk

 

 

 

Congratulations Anthony Joshua – I can’t stand boxing but applaud your achievements.

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

 

God Bless The Child, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife

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