Last week we celebrated Father’s Day and after reading A LOT of the posts on social media I felt the need to throw my tuppence in! I’ve experienced both sides of the coin having never met my dad until I was sixteen, then not hearing from him again until my early thirties, and on the flip side having a fantastic father for our two daughters. I know some fathers are only absent through no fault of their own, but mine made a conscious decision to step before I’d even left the womb. Everyone has a tale to tell, be it good or bad, and I won’t bore you with the ins and outs (EU pun intended!), but for me his absence wasn’t a biggy.
Yes, I can remember the odd occasion when I was little thinking it might be nice to have a dad but it was never an issue. My mum never ran him down to us. She might curse his name every once in a while but ultimately she just cracked on. As far as I was concerned I had a mum and siblings that loved me and my twin and you don’t miss what you’ve never had!
I understand it being harder for those that had their dads in their lives to start with and were then abandoned or had the fair weather type. I know hurt and I understand the need to vent sometimes, but regardless of whether it’s yourself or your child who have an absent parent, I don’t think Father’s Day is the right day to air your negative feelings and run him down. Any other day, holler away, and before you shoot me down, hear me out!
Like Mother’s Day it’s supposed to be a day that you celebrate the love you have for them and show your appreciation for the ones that deserve it. I say this because along with the fucked up fathers there are some equally messed up women. Using their children as pawns against their dads and only out for what they can get instead of what their child needs – LOVE AND ATTENTION! That’s what being a parent is all about.
If you’re a single parent Hell yeh you should be saluted, and I see nothing wrong with doing it on Father’s Day (or Mother’s Day if you’re of the opposite sex). You’ve proved you are wo/man enough to do the job to the best of your ability whilst your counterpart has gone with the wind. All I’m asking is you celebrate it for the great job you are doing in giving twice the love and not mar it with thoughts of the people who should be farthest from your mind. Sod them!
Relish the fact that this is precious time you have with your children that they will never have – and kids ain’t kids for long! They’ll grow and see how you did for them and will love you all the more. Trust me, been there, done that.
Moving on to the negative posts I saw about women celebrating. Wow!! I mean, WOW!! Some in particular went IN and chose to describe the mothers as bitches. If you too are celebrating the day I would assume you are a parent, so you know it’s not an easy job but it’s definitely made easier with two to share the stress. Yet many women, like my mother, handled their shit and proved they have bigger balls than the “men” that chose to step and you would begrudge them a little recognition?
I’ve seen long ass rants claiming that they have Mother’s Day and now they want to hijack our day too, or that they’re not men and don’t know what it is to be a man so they need to be quiet. Hmmm….tell me….exactly how did their posts impact on YOUR day personally?
I’m almost certain it’s less of an impact as the ones the mums and children feel when this day comes around. And what an example you set of what it is to be a man. Whinging on Facebook about the injustice of it all. KMT! I would have thought you could find better things to do with your time – you know, like untwist your knickers, paint your nails or braid your hair. I suggest you sit down with your knitting and a nice cup of chamomile tea to help calm you down. #WhosTheBiggerBitchBitch
Just sayin’!
Happy Belated Farthers* Day to all of the single mothers out there.
(*Tasha hold the text, it’s intentional!😂)
