What’s On Your Mind?

It’s ironic that the day I choose to get back on my writing game is the morning I wake up to hear about the nightmare in Manchester.

The irony is the sole reason I had to take a break is because I’d literally had my fill of people and the blatant lack of humanity. I’m not naive, I know we’re not all saints and some people are straight up bastards, but when you’re facing them head on and feel the effects of what they are capable of it’s a whole other story.

When their actions involves the loss of children it cuts deeper still. The act is bad enough, but to knowingly target kids is lower than low. What kind of a world are we living in? My heart truly goes out to those who died, the injured and their families.

For nearly a year I’ve posted weekly and very rarely have an issue with finding a topic, last week was no different. I was good to go and then something happened, and in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t life threatening or anything I hadn’t experienced before, so it shouldn’t have meant a thing, but it was just enough to make my cup runneth over!

We all have our lot in life and I’d like to think I’ve handled the shit that comes flying my way relatively well. For the most part I just carry on and try to make it through the day alive. I’ve learnt from the lessons life has taught me (sometimes it takes a couple of goes but I get there eventually!), and I try not to let too much stress me, but when it’s something or someone I love I can’t just switch off – especially if someone else is taking absolute liberties.

One action caused a chink in my armour. I sat blubbering to my cousin wondering why I was feeling the way I was considering it was nothing new. Unnecessary drama by others made necessary because it starts off a chain reaction.

After nearly 2 years of it I’d had enough. 1001 thoughts ran through my head as to where to go from here. I was sick and tired of it all but stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Then she reeled off all I’d been through and I became aware I was actually going through the five stages of beef:

Denial (No one can be this messed up, it’s not true😲)

Anger (Who the fuck do they think they are!?😤)

Bargaining (How much do you reckon a hitman costs?👀)

Depression (How am I still dealing with this punk?😞)

Acceptance (I accept you’re a cunt and always will be!🖕🏾)

May 8th – 14th was Mental Health Awareness Week and I was fortunate enough to be aware of mine being rattled. A lot of us go through things physically yet don’t realise the strain on the brain.

There are a number of reasons as to what causes these issues but the most important thing is to deal with it. I recognised I needed to talk to someone, others are unaware and may need a push for their own good. They may just need to step back from it all and talk it over like I did or they may need drugs and therapy – don’t feel a way! A mind is a terrible thing to waste and it’s not just about education. Be it beef or grief, get the help you need as I’m hoping those who were affected by Monday nights tragedy get the help they’ll need. Children are only resilient up to a point and they literally are our future, we need to do our best by them because right now it’s looking like anything goes!

R.I.P to all those who lost their lives this week, especially in such a senseless way in Manchester.

R.I.P Frankie Paul – I’m sure you’re passing the tu-sheng peng up there.

R.I.P Sir Roger Moore – shaken, not stirred

The Mind Matters, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife