Reality Check 1, Cheque 2, Check Me! (Part 4)

“‘Cause you’re free

To do what you want to do

You’ve got to live your life

Do what you want to do.“

Free ~ Ultra Nate

Well! How you doing? I didn’t realise but it’s been almost eight months since I last posted a blog! Seasons have come and gone, and ain’t we feeling it!🥶 So much has happened, and I’ll get around to breaking that down, but there’s thankhfully one thing that’s continued to flow, and that’s the peace that I found nearly 2 years ago.

I’m nearly done sorting through and filing away those receipts I spoke of in Spiritual Accountancy, and unsurprisingly I’ve noticed that there is one pile stacked considerably higher than the others.

It comes under the category of Negative Time Spent, consisting of pain felt, tears shed, hate fuelled and energy wasted. So that’s what I’ve spent these months doing. Attempting to focus on what I’ve learned and where I am now.*

I’ve had a dose of the Ahhhs – Reflection, Recharging, Releasing, and a case of the Re-Re’s! – Reevaluating, Reviewing, Reordering, Readjusting, REALising, and finally getting Ready to Receive and Reap the Rewards!💫

I’d reached a point in my life where I knew I had to do something before my negative emotions ate away at me. Blogging helped to release a lot of it, but a part of me couldn’t let go of the hate and bitterness – and I fully acknowledge I had an extremely hard time with forgiveness. 

Had. It feels good to write that word, because it truly is in the past tense. But how did I manage to get here? Well, I told you I had a magical experience, but I didn’t really delve into what it was. The main reason for this is because it was one that I couldn’t put into words, and truthfully speaking, I still don’t possess the vocabulary to express it to you fully. 

Another reason is that we live in a society that struggles to let go of what we’ve been programmed to believe, and are quick to judge without knowing or attempting to understand the facts. We accept what the powers that be say and don’t question anywhere near enough as we should. I’ve always known things were mucked up, but for me my experience lifted that veil of sheer organza that blurred the view and had me distracted, and brought forth the full 8K UHD clarity on many levels. 

It started with me stepping outside of the box and following my intuition; and it’s been one of, if not thee best decision I’ve ever made to date in regard to my own, personal wellbeing – and I say that with full DD chest! Believe it or not, alongside the fuckeries, I have managed to incorporate some wonderful experiences throughout my lifetime, but this one was different.💫

If you’ve ever debated doing something outside the norm but are apprehensive about it, take my advice and go on and do it. Fuck it. If you don’t like it at least you’ve tried and can easily step back into what you know, but it might just be the key to letting go!

I was invited to go to a retreat, and after declining the offer on several other occasions, I decided to say yes. It’s said that the universe will make it so uncomfortable for you at points in your life that you’ll have no choice but to make moves; and I felt it with every blow that had come in my direction.

I needed space to breathe and it sounded ideal. It was based in the lofty, lusciously green hills of Wales, and I knew no one apart from my nephew who runs the retreat. I went with an open heart and mind, and had some wonderful holistic experiences and met some beautiful people. 

Upon that I chose a path of peace and have never looked back. That’s not to say I wasn’t already on that path, I just got me a bit distracted; but a real shift was made that weekend, in ways that you couldn’t imagine, and it literally opened my eyes and set me free.

I know at this point some of you are watching me with full bombastic side eye, but hear me out!😂

I can honestly put finding the final piece of my puzzle down to that retreat. I’m not saying it will work that way for all, but so far it’s had only positive impacts on those I know. For me it bought home how connected we are and how important it is to work on your whole self – WHOLE-LISTICALLY – the mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. It all works hand in hand. It also highlighted how needed this type of living is. 

If I’m lucky enough, I’ll be 50 years old in a couple of weeks. After all of the bullshit I’ve endured so far, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve more than earned my right to make informed choices on how I live what’s left of my life and what I do to my body – especially as a cancer/chemo survivor. 

I believe one day we’re gonna look back in horror at the treatment of cancer and other illnesses as we do when we see they used to encourage pregnant women to smoke. We’ve already seen the benefits in CBD, and there are extremely positive clinical trials in the use of psilocybin to combat a range of mental health disorders; but I’m not waiting for them to catch up.

Despite decades Cancer Research has got us from a 1/5, to a 1/2 ratio. I’m not the best at math, but I know that adds up to their type of research not working as well as it could.

I’m advocating for all, but especially for those who have had to undergo toxic medical treatment and procedures, to receive a free pass to seek holistic treatments and therapies to counterbalance their effects; if they so choose. I know, sounds comical right?

Well it’s a bigger joke believing mushrooms and cannabis are more damaging to you and deserve to be prohibited. It’s actually wild that in big 2024 I’m calling for us to be allowed to freely partake in what nature provides.

Please don’t be fooled by what the powers that be feed you. I say do your own research and make informed decisions on what’s best for you. I’ve made mine.

That’s not to say that cancer or some other nasty won’t come calling once more, but I’ve tried it their way. I don’t want something that harms as much as it heals. It was damn harsh and I’d prefer not to experience it again if it’s all the same. So why should I be vilified for wanting to go down a natural path they don’t want to? 

It’s a rhetorical question, I don’t want or need an answer. I’m good. In fact I’m better than I’ve ever felt on a whole thankhs to being provided with a space to find me; which is an even bigger blessing now as with recent events happening, the world looks like it’s going to hell in a handcart!

I’ve paid my price, found my peace, and I’m filing this receipt away. I’ve made lifestyle choices and changes to make me feel comfortable enough and at ease when my time to leave this Earth comes – however and whenever that may be.✨

Condolences to The Duhaney Family on the passing of your Queen, and R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

STOP THE GENOCIDE! Continuing to send love to all of the nations suffering from some sort of atrocity.

*I realise to some my absence and lack of communication may look like I’m not bothered about folk or don’t care, believe me I do, but I still have shit going on; I’m still doing the work, just better equipped to handle it!

Big love and the most amount of respect to my nephew, Josh, for your generosity and perseverance!😂, and the whole Good Trauma Tribe. I feel truly blessed to know and work with you all. Let’s continue to get the work done!💫

Do You, But Do Your Research Too! Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife