Blessings And Lessons

I know a lot of you are wondering where Tales Of The Dales has disappeared to. Don’t worry, I haven’t been silenced and I’m very much alive! There’s only one way I’ll be stopped and that’s via a court order, so until that happens – keep watching this space. They will return!

The fact of the matter is I’ve had some bad news recently, and as much as I enjoy writing TOTD, despite them being infused with humour, the majority of the memories are sad and negative ones about people who now mean very little to me.

Although it’s in the past, I don’t have the headspace to be thinking about them right now. Alongside an uncle passing away and the family drama that incurred, a cousin of mine is gravely ill and my focus has been on sending as much love and positive vibes I can muster her way.

When you go through the shit I have with my siblings it makes you question the word family and what it entails. I admit to at times feeling cynical about it, but certain members reminded me that the actions of a few shouldn’t tarnish the true meaning.

A lot of people knock Facebook and other social media platforms for creating issues and drama. That’s not the case. It’s down to how you choose to use it. For me, amongst other things, it’s been a great way to communicate with my people all over the world, and a few years ago I set up a messenger group page.

It was good to be able to fill them in on what was going on, and also to vent to people who knew me and had prior knowledge of how certain family members stood and the complexity of the situation.

It’s by far easier to sit on the fence for fear of offending or causing upset, but the reality is people can be both good and bad. If certain folk only want to highlight the good and can’t handle being called out on the bad that’s not for me to feel a way about, no matter how much they like to point fingers and shout about it, and I feel blessed and thankful to those in the group who fully understand that.

One such person is my cousin who is now fighting for her life. She is one of the most loveliest young women you could hope to meet, and helped me no end when I was getting married. She’s a character and a half and has a lovely bubbly personality. To think of her the way she is now honestly breaks my heart.

I can’t help but question the higher powers movements sometimes. Apparently everything happens for a reason and I’m hoping at some point some sense will be made of this. To be fair I questioned her (the higher power), when I was going through things with mum, but I now see it was (in the end) for the greater good. I’m hoping with all my might my cousin is not called up just yet. I know we’ve all got to go sometime…just not yet.

In life we’re given blessings and lessons. I’ve learnt to be grateful for them all – the good and bad. The lesson I got from my escapades with my family is to make sure you truly fully appreciate the ones who are there for you and show you they care for you.

All too often excuses are made as to why some don’t put the time and effort in. I’ve heard the most amount of bullshit reasons as to why some don’t bother coming to see my mum. The fact of the matter is as hard as it is for some to see her in a home, it’s not a fraction on how it must feel for her to live there, but it’s her home now so you should try your best to make it feel that way.

Presumption is a key factor. They presume because she has dementia it means she’s not worth the effort. What’s the point? She doesn’t remember shit anyway!…only she does, but you have to be around to see it. Because she has dementia you make more of an effort not less. But to each their own. You keep on doing you and I’ll keep on doing for those who need it.

Show your love and mean it. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the fucking walk! Tomorrow isn’t promised and life is way too short. If you haven’t said it lately, or ever, tell those you care about how much you love them. If you can’t muster up the words find ways to show it instead. It has the same effects and doesn’t have to be a grand gesture but can have a big impact and mean a lot, especially when it’s truly heartfelt.

R.I.P Uncle James and all those who have lost their lives recently.

Lil’ cuz, if prayers alone could see you through you’d have been out and about time ago. Keep fighting, and we’ll keep sending up and out the all the love we can.