Thursday’s Child

“Said at least when it’s over and done

We can flip through the pages

A memory of more than one

We can live through the ages…”

Healing The Sound Of The Heart ~ Boddhi Satva, Karun 

On Thursday 21st November 1974 I came into the world, feet first and struggling for life 5 minutes after my twin – and the last of our mother’s children. 

The ride between then and now has been a somewhat rocky one to say the least!🙃

The 2 main reasons I started blogging in the first place was to discuss and share my cancer journey, and to discuss and share the toxic relationship I had with my siblings – which coming from a Caribbean household comes with negative attachments. It may be good to talk, but we don’t talk the business – especially our business!

I remember writing in one of the earlier blogs that it was like my kind of therapy. Little did I know then the reality of that statement! I’ve reread some of them and (apart from being proud of my writing skillz💁🏾‍♀️), I remember all of the emotions entwined in my words.

Thankhfully I’m now in a place where I understand the path I’ve been taken on – the last decade especially. The realisation that everything really does happen for a reason. All of it. Even the shit! You can let it suffocate you, or use it as the perfect fertiliser for personal growth.

I admit to feeling suffocated for a while, but at some point you’ve gotta come up for air.

But no matter what it is I’ve had to go through, there’s always been a part of me that never gave up hope. On some days it was smaller than others, but it was there. Since my time at the retreat it’s become clearer that it wasn’t just hope, it was love, and it set me free enough to go beyond coming up for air and to keep soaring.

I’m fortunate enough to have known and understand my character since I was little. We’re all supposed to change in some way as we grow and evolve, but there are parts of us that won’t. Our essence, for want of a better word.

I did a test to reveal my human design, which is based on your date and time of birth, and I swear I felt seen! I know it might sound like a heap of mumbo jumbo, but it got me down to a t! It was in alignment with things and decisions I’d made in my life and I truly felt validated.

My happiness doesn’t lie in riches and luxury* and what I can get, more what I can give. This may come as a disappointment to my girls, as I don’t have any generational wealth I can leave them, hell, I don’t have any wealth to pay off my overdraft – but the good thing is momma is working on not leaving you with any generational trauma too. I may be the last of my mums kids, but I’ll be the first to break the chains.

My hope is that future generations will one day read through my words and know that they might have to go through some shit and fight some battles, but they can be won.

50 years on, I can wholeheartedly say I feel overly blessed to still be here. I give thankhs for life and for all of the genuine love I’ve received within my lifetime. I also give thankhs for the fakery and fuckery too, because it showed me what I needed to see and helped to make and shape me. I may not have everything I want, but I’ve got everything I need.

For the longest while and the most part, whenever anyone asks me how I am my response is “I’m good.” It’s become a mantra without trying, and even if I wasn’t having the greatest of days, there’s a part of me that believes it and feels it regardless.

I have no idea what the future holds but I’m here for it, and will keep taking each day as it comes until it’s my time to move on. I may be leaving this world feet first as I entered it, but I won’t be struggling.

They say Thursday’s child has far to go – and I fucking hope so!💫✨

Happy Earthday/Birthday to the first man to show me true and consistent love, my twin Dave, who is currently sunning his Black skin in Antigua!🇦🇬 Hope you have the best day bruv. I’ll have some choice ‘erbs and a Mighty Malt in your honour!😂

Big love to my husband Chris, and daughters, Isis and Sadé for completing the parts of me that needed filling up

Earthday Blessings to my fellow ‘74 Scorpio babies! #FiftyNotOut

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week

STOP THE GENOCIDE! Continuing to send love to all of the nations suffering from some sort of atrocity

*My happiness may not reside there but occasionally my body wouldn’t mind it. Just saying!😅

Give Thankhs For Life! Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife