“Mostly, I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world every day…”

John Coffey ~ The Green Mile

I’ve seen a few posts on social media asking what’s one thing that being in downtime (lockdown) has taught you. I responded to one and told the truth – nothing.

All it has done is highlight a lot of things I was very much aware of beforehand. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs I’ve been through enough in my lifetime to see things a little more clearly and appreciate and celebrate life. Ultimately I’m a lover not a hater. I love life and I can fully understand tolerance, patience and forgiveness – but only to a certain extent.

The past couple of weeks have been testing for me. Obviously with the world being the way it is now it’s a trying time for everyone, but so far I’ve been reasonably ok, so I’ve been trying to pinpoint exactly why it is that I’m feeling the way I am. I took into account the current climate and the fact that Mother Nature did her monthly rounds and I realised that my hormones were raging – but then I realised something else. It’s fatigue.

Like John Coffey said, I’m tired. T👏🏾I👏🏾R👏🏾E👏🏾D👏🏾

I’m not a fan of politics or religion and I’ll avoid both like the plague if I can. I know there are those who feel strongly about these subjects, and more power to them, but for me they are entities saturated in so much fuckery and corruption I have no interest in wasting my time trying to figure them out. Some may well see it as me being ignorant, but I have my reasons, and if anyone is interested I’ll gladly tell them what they are.

I don’t claim to be an expert. I just know what I know and feel how I feel. If you’ve read any of my R.I.P’d Off! blogs you’d already have a gist.

So when I awoke one morning and popped onto Facebook to see Bore-us Johnson’s face all up in my timeline and people inviting me to clap for that clown, I wrote a post to let them know what I thought about it. I made it clear they’d be no form of clapping or sympathy for him from me. For a start, wasn’t it he who publicly stood and ignored the warnings given and visited a hospital – A HOSPITAL – shaking hands with people? I stated that if any “friends” took offence at my post to delete me. I lost a couple but the way I see it they weren’t friends in the first place, as friends would enquire. We don’t necessarily have to be on the same page on all things to get along.

One such person responded to my post before deleting me. I had made a comment about Bore-us being just as bad as those who were blatantly ignoring protocol and was told I need a reality check. Me or you my “friend”? Bore-us is actually WORSE than those people as he is supposedly a leader and to set the example we follow. And now it transpires that he possibly ignored meetings and advice given about how to deal with Covid-19 weeks prior to the outbreak in the U.K.

And you would have me clap for this fucker? KMT!

I make no apologies about it. Some people are quick to forget things. I’m not…wait, let me take that back. It depends on what it is, and in this instance there was a lot to remember when it came to my issues with our grate leader.

It’s bad enough when the average Joe decides to give us his two pence worth on his thoughts about immigrants, but when derogatory remarks are made from someone who is supposed to be fair and impartial and running the *cuntry you live in, it makes it hard to ignore and easy for others of their ilk to think it’s acceptable behaviour.

Not only has he proved what he thinks about us, he and the Tories decided to show us too by underhandedly abandoning the Windrush generation and forcing them into poverty and ill health, then forcing them on a plane ‘back to where they came from’. They openly stood and applauded not giving NHS and other key workers a fair living wage, did the dirty on the victims of Grenfell and thought they were slicker than slick with Brexshit.

What better way to get rid of the rest of the pests by labelling them as low skilled and 10 a penny. We don’t need them if they can’t prove to be worth £25,000 or more. We’ve got this! This is England. We’ll pull together and show them what we’re made of…only there’s a problem with that…

It mainly lies in the fact that they are patriotic to a fault. The fault being that they forget that their *Grate Britain is so great because of the blood, sweat and tears of a lot of the minorities they despise, disadvantage and dismiss. If they were to really check facts and strip away all that was robbed from other countries to benefit them they wouldn’t have much to shout about. Not even over a cup of tea with 2 sugars.

Right now there is no shadow of doubt about the roles immigrants and ethic minorities play in helping the country to survive, but there are certain collectives who, no matter what kind of information you put before them, fail to see our worth. It couldn’t get more prominent now and it needs to be remembered.

Piss poor apologies mean nothing and as HIStory shows that’s all we’re ever given!

To top off my mood, a few days later I saw some footage that has been hard to swallow. China – ground zero for this whole madness that we and the world find ourselves dealing with – had supposedly eradicated Covid-19 in their cuntry until some recent cases that they are now saying is being spread by Black people…

Yep! You heard right.

Despite not testing positive for Coronavirus, they have been thrown out of their homes, beaten, abused and denied access to shops, restaurants and other amenities with little to no help from authorities. China are to blame for causing it, but let’s forget that and divert attention and look at these dirty Black people spreading it. It gets me so mad, but to be honest it doesn’t surprise me. It seems like it’s only a matter of time before we get to be the cause of every negative going.

It’s an age old tale. They love our climate and natural resources, some even love our culture but they don’t love us, and feel that we’re not worthy of having anything they consider to be of value. All the while we’re welcoming them into our countries and not focusing on the bigger picture. They don’t love us or want to integrate – they want to take over. And they’re doing it. How many Chinese shops and businesses in Africa and the Caribbean have Black people working in them? How much land do they own? I’ll wait!

As “all about the love and not hate” that I am, and as tolerant, patient and understanding as I try to be, I have to confess that it’s running low – way low! I’m battling my negative emotions HARD! I have always tried to be kind hearted and accepting but it’s getting harder by the day. My fear is I’ll end up being as cold hearted as the ones causing us pain but I’m truly sick and tired of people being ugly to each other and especially my people. We’ve been used and abused for centuries and enough is enough.

2020 and downtime has shown us that we can do things differently and adapt to change – well the majority of us anyway. Now is the time for a lot of us to wake up and really look at what’s going on and work on a solution to the problems we face. My anger isn’t just at those taking the ‘berties but our own people who are allowing it to happen. The corrupt governments and money hungry leaders thinking that they’re good because they’ve been given backhanders. What happens when you’re out of power and the money runs dry???

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but most things worth fighting for aren’t.

Thankfully, right now my aromatherapy diffuser, essential oils and herbs have been working its magic and I won’t be out on the streets causing a revolution…not yet anyway!

And breathe!

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives.

Well done Captain Tom Moore.

*no misspelling

Breathe In/Breathe Out, Stay Blessed & #CelebrateLife