Now You C Me (Part 2)

So this week I’d like to touch on another side effect I experienced that also ties in nicely with a subject that really bugs the Hell out me!

Not long after starting chemo one of the more noticeable side effects was the change in my complexion. Let’s get things straight from the get go: I LOVE BEING BLACK! I have never had an issue with my complexion at all, as I have no issue with any other complexion – we all bleed the same! I’m the shade I was made and it ain’t gon’ change!!….until it did.

I got darker all over, most noticeably the palms of my hands, soles of my feet, fingernails, toenails and most predominately my face. I’d bump into people and they’d ask if I’d just got back off of holiday (yes white folk – we do tan!!) and I’d explain that I’m on an 8 month cruise round the Topics of Cancer!

I’m not going to say it didn’t phase me at all; it did, when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see me looking back. I can’t even really explain it but it was like looking at a stranger (one whose eyebrows blended in with her face) and I can honestly say it’s the ONLY time I’d ever wished I could change my complexion; not because lighter is better but because it was what I was used to seeing for 39 years!

There was no holiday glow about it trust me! Thankfully I’ve never been too hung up on that type of thing so I didn’t let it phase me for too long. I figured it is what it is and I’m still me despite the packaging.

That’s not to say that I don’t understand those who experience the same kind of thing wanting to cosmetically alter their appearance so they feel more comfortable in their skin, it’s just not for me (make up never has been), and my understanding only goes so far!

I get applying a little foundation etc to even out a skin tone for whatever reason, but things have gotten waaaayyy out of hand and a whole lot deeper with a lot of people, especially in the Black community, and men and women alike!

Too many of us still have not woken up and are still clinging on to the lie told many moons ago that to be seen as worthy you have to be white or at least light. I’ve watched documentaries in Jamaica and Africa on people bleaching and their reasons as to why and it breaks my heart and gets me vex at the same time. #RealTalk.

Chatting fuckery about when you’re darker skinned you look dirty and nobody wants you, but when you bleach you look fresher and more attractive….well…..it has the same effect on my toilet so I suppose you could be right, but I’d prefer not to try it thanks!

Seriously though, how is this even a thing in 2016, that they are still so confused they will damage their health to try to impress? Impress who exactly? You’re only kidding yourself and whilst you’re trying to lighten your skin the people you admire are trying to darken theirs! Tomfoolery at its highest!

The torture they put themselves through to look like the living frigging dead is unbelievable. Chemical burns and skin as thin as tissue paper that doesn’t heal if you get cut…lovely!! Not to mention your tarantula looking hands….beautiful!!👀

In my opinion I can say with all honesty that not one of them looked better for it….NOT ONE!, and I very much doubt it bought them whatever it was that they thought they’d get.

The thing that upsets me the most is they’re brainwashing their children with the same sorry thinking so there’ll be another generation of the walking dead coming soon if we don’t wake them up! #JustSaying.

I love every shade that we produce; from high yellow to jet black, and no matter what shade I am, there’s not one person who will convince me I’m a lesser person because of it.

Since stopping chemotherapy my colour is changing back, even though my face is not fully back to how I used to look, I can now see my eyebrows so it’s all good! And even if it is to remain a darker shade it ain’t a thing – the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice!

R.I.P Darlene Horton, Jassim Eissa al-Baloushi and all those who have lost their lives this week.