Sticks And Stones (Part 2)

Happy New Year one and all! Congratulations on making it through another one. I’m not even about to speculate on what 2019 has to offer, but where there’s life there’s hope, so I’ll leave it at that and keep trying to celebrate it.

As ever I had every intention of getting more blogs out but shit happened, and it’s shit happening that I’d like to acknowledge.

I started writing my blogs for a number of reasons. As it turns out I love writing them and it’s kind of therapeutic. My main aim is to share my experiences and be real.

My opinion may not be to your liking and you may not like how I go about things, but I’d prefer to be 100% me and have you not like me than pretend to be someone or something I’m not. I’m fully aware I’m only human and what that entails, it’s just a pity some can’t grasp the concept that they’re only human too.

As much as some of us may try to go through life avoiding having to deal with shit, it happens. How we handle it is the real issue. We all know it stinks, so some like to mask it, wrap it up and gift it. Some like to leave it, which tends to involve people treading in it and spreading it further. Then you’ve got my type. We like to clear it up and flush it.

Unfortunately shit is messy, and I’m dealing with the type that flows – one wipe and flush will not suffice. I’ve had to let nature take her course until the shits have completely gone and I can clean up the pebble dash, bleach, disinfect and flush it away for good. Anytime soon I’m hoping.

Fortunately for you all, I’m a sharing is caring type. I was recently reminded of this when a family member told me there’s a reason why I got cancer. Naturally I’d had my thoughts on the matter, but for a minute questioned what she’d said and the type of person that I am.

According to her it is because I am a wicked and bitter person and I should take the sign from God to live my life differently. This was after initially agreeing with another family member who told me, and I quote: “You should have fucking died of cancer you fucking bitch!”

They are entitled to their opinion, so I’ll allow them that. I’m grown and experienced enough to know that sickness is for any and everybody. Saint and fucking sinner. We’re all on limited time.

I can’t deny that getting ill did make me look at my life differently. I’ve changed certain things to help maintain my health but I don’t think it’s changed the person that I was before then.

If anything it has taught me to appreciate life more and enhance what was given to me via the higher power and my momma. I’ve got to spend a lot of time with both ladies lately, (yes, I believe the higher power is a female), and value the lessons both have given me.

All too often, and especially in the Black community, we like to hide the ugly side and pretend everything is fine. I’m not one for pretending and I won’t be quiet when I know something or someone is wrong in any instance – work, rest and play.

It’s not healthy to keep shit in. I could sit here and lie to you that the words they said didn’t hurt me but I’d only be lying to myself. They have thrown a lot at me, and at the time made the worst time of my life to date even harder.

Well, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! The running diarrhoea has trickled down to short bursts now and I’m sure it’s nearing the end, which is when I’ll give you the full rundown on how I got the shits in the first place. I wouldn’t want anybody else catching a dose.

During my absence I’ve seen and heard the most amount of fuckery happening in the world, most recently being the Surviving R Kelly scandal. To me, it has highlighted the importance of speaking up and brings me back to the point I made about us all being human.

Some may think they are Teflon dons and above reproach because of what they have achieved or who they are perceived to be. That shit doesn’t wash with me. If they are toxic and have the ability to mess up people’s lives then they deserve to come with a warning label. I have nothing but love and admiration for those strong enough to stand up and speak their truth no matter what repercussions it may bring them.

Nobody is perfect, but if you know your conscience is clear you have nothing to fear.

SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST!

Family, friend or foe, let them know! You may lose a few along the way but the right ones will be by your side throughout the precious time you have left on this earth. I may well die tomorrow but I can honestly say I get what it means to be rich in more than gold. I may not have the big house, or bank account, (although I wouldn’t say no if they were to come along sometime soon), but I’ve got big love. No money or status can buy the real deal.

Those involved in my *BFD can wish me all kinds until the day your dreams come true. I said I’ll allow you your opinions but I’ll be damned if I allow you anything else. I will continue being me – which might not be so great for you, but such is life and shit!

R.I.P to all those who have lost their lives this week.

Thoughts and prayers going out to Emiliano Sala, the pilot and their families.

*Bullshit/Fuckery/Drama